realign-with-yourself

[realign-with-yourself]

Please understand that we were all put here for a reason. You, me, him, her, and everyone else in this world. Life is about taking chances and making a DIFFERENCE. As long as you’re here you can still change the future one way or another. Don’t just sit around and hope for change. Get up and act on it. This world is so corrupted and it’s so much easier to sin, but please find the strength within yourself and fight the inner demons to make your way to the understanding of what life means. We are here, alive and well. Take steps to bettering yourself so you can offer help to others. Be compassionate and understanding. Be kind and righteous. Be brave enough to face the dark and pray for the light to outshine. BELIEVE! If not in God, then at least in YOURSELF..

Because I DO.

[realign-with-yourself]

Regardless, I’m happy on my own.

I almost never take portraits of myself anymore but these ones has to be one of my recent favorites. And here’s why...

The last few years has been a challenge for me, mentally and emotionally. It’s crazy how a picture can tell so many unspoken stories. I don’t know how it is for the rest of you, but when I look into a person’s eyes it’s like I dive a little into their soul. I can see through the person as if they were an open book; I can see the pain, the hurt, and the sadness that person carries. I know it all too well as I have had my fair share of challenges.

Some people may wonder why I look so serious and unhappy, but when I look at these pictures of myself, I see a fighter and a warrior. I see a person who has grown into something so strong and beautiful emotionally and mentally. Someone who’s finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I see every flaw in these photos, yet I can see every BEAUTY that has overcame those flaws. It shows the very most rare and unfiltered version of me. Some days are tougher than others but through these pictures I know I won’t go down easily because I have made it this far. I’m ready to take on my next obstacle in life and conquer it like I own it! For those who know me, I’ve come a long way. And now, I deserve to be happy! I am proud of who I’ve become today and I can die a happy woman tomorrow. Although, I am not perfect, nor do I ever want to be, I love who I am. I love how I put my little family first, I love how strongly I stand for what I believe in, I love how I cherish rare friendship, and I especially love the process of becoming ME. It took a lot of trial and error to finally feel good in my own skin and to feel united with myself. And most importantly, to feel at peace with myself.

I KNOW it’ll only get better from here on out.

Introducing, the new and improved, ME! I’m feeling great about myself and where I’m at in life and there’s nothing that can bring me down that low again! This is me. Take it or leave it. Regardless, I’m happy on my own.

[realign-with-yourself]

Pain and Hurt

Since my last post, I have learned so much about myself.  Times were hard and things seemed hopeless.  Today, I am trying to find my faith again.  

I took quite some time off and I hope everyone can bare with me as I begin to write again.  I’ve attempted many times in the past but never had the courage to post.  I’m glad that those around me can still encourage me to do what I love to do, write. Today’s topic is learning to forgive yourself.

It’s crazy how you are so easily manipulated by your own negative thoughts and feelings.  I unintentionally drowned myself while I tried to rescue others.  I was so worried about helping everyone out of their dark holes that I forgot I was sinking even further into my own. In the end, you are left all alone with nothing but your own thoughts and feelings.  All the while, your spouse is fighting his own demons and can hardly help you through your dark times.  No one to come to your rescue as you’ve been for everyone else.  Life is funny.  You help others just to be alone without help in the end.  

Don’t get me wrong, I do have a few amazing people in my life who has done one of the most powerful things anyone can ever offer and that is to simply listen.  They’ve seen me in every situation, the good, the bad, the happy, and even the sad times. THANK YOU to the few individuals that has been there for me, you know who you are.  

What I’ve learned in the past year is that NO ONE is able to help you.  Only YOU are your own savior.  Don’t wait for someone to rescue you and don’t forget to LOVE yourself!  Being a mother of four and a wife of 11 years, it starts to take a toll on you.  You selflessly give yourself to attend your husband and children’s needs that you start to neglect yourself.  Your whole world revolves around them and you start to put your needs off to the side, unintentionally leaving more hurt and pain for yourself.  I was waiting for my husband to come save me and because of that I became more and more angry with him for not rescuing me from my own pain and hurt.  Each night I laid in bed debating if I deserved it.  My husband was going through his own dark obstacles and couldn’t attend to me that way I needed him to.  There was a lot of disconnect and hurt with my husband and I.  We exchanged many words that shouldn’t have been said and created an unhealthy environment for my family.  I felt lost and started to lose myself but little did I know my husband was going through the same things.  When my husband finally started to understand positive change within himself, he blossomed and became a new person.  It was courageous. It was beautiful.

At that point, I didn’t even know how to help myself anymore.  I dug a hole too deep I didn’t know how to climb back out.  I felt stuck and I felt stupid.  How could I do that to myself?  My husband and I talked and things seemed bright.  I was happy and so was he.  I felt happier than I’ve felt in a long time.  But just when I started to feel hopeful, things took a turn.  I became distant with my husband again.  Little things he did unintentionally started to trigger my own negative thoughts and feelings.  I became withdrawn.  I didn’t realize how emotionally and mentally damaged I was until now.  Old feelings came back and I became angry at my husband again.  I tried and I tried to fight it off.  I tried to defeat my own pain and hurt and it was going no where.  My husband didn’t understand the challenges I was facing.  It had nothing to do with him and everything with myself.  I tried talking to my husband about what I was going through but it didn’t end up how I wanted it to.  I just needed to hear him say he was sorry and to comfort me.  Instead, he became upset at me for making no sense at all.  I wish, for just once, that my husband can walk into my shoes and see/ hear what I did.  Just so he can understand the person I am and love me the way I need him to.  But life doesn’t work that way.  We help ourselves or the darkness will.  In life nothing is easy.  EVERYTHING comes with a price.  We don’t get to pick and choose our battles and we sure as hell don’t get to devalue ourselves for not overcoming our battles at a certain rate.  A year ago, I surrendered but TODAY I will not!  I will continue to fight my battles as they come for as long as it takes to overcome it.  

My advice to those who are struggling to overcome their obstacles…

Don’t keep your pain and hurt in the darkness, it’ll only cause more destruction.  Acknowledge it and shed some light on it, only then will you be able to make steps to overcome it. 

Fully and deeply forgive yourself.  Appreciate the experience to learn and grow from it.  You correctly do so when you are able to talk about it openly without any more hurt and pain.  

For anyone out there in the same boat, remember life is too short to dwell in your own pain and hurt.  It takes the beauty away from what you already have in front of you.  Everyday, try to be positive and encourage yourself you are worthy and courageous.  You can do it! It may not be today or tomorrow but it WILL come.  Take it one step at a time and one day at a time.  I promise you, it will get better in time. 

[realign-with-yourself]

Inner demons

Do you know someone who’s gone through a type of abuse, whether that is domestic abuse, sexual abuse, verbal abuse, or etc? I’ve recently been connecting with a victim of abuse and I am so happy I can be a part of her healing process. When you’ve gone down the road of hiding in the dark for so long it’s hard to make the necessary changes to be who you need to be and who you truly are. I’ve decided a while ago that I will never leave anyone in the dark for as long as they’ve crossed my path. I will fight with them until they are strong enough, brave enough to fight on their own. It is so important to help one another find their way back. Too many victims are left without a voice and instead are left with judgement and victim shaming. Well, I just want you all to know that I am here for you when you are feeling alone. I will push you to fight your way through. Even though, I may not completely understand what you are going through, I can still be there for you in the ways that you need most. And that is being a friend, someone we all need in hard times.

People make mistakes and no one is perfect but if you have surrendered yourself to God then your past will not define who you are. A reminder to you all, you are worthy! Fight your inner demons and take back your life. Take charge of your life by believing in yourselves! I will not let you believe you are the blame. As cruel as this world already is, we must help one another, support one another and lift each other up. There’s too many demons that lurk amongst us, we must all stand together n let the light shine through. Don’t be afraid, the heavens will be behind you. Be good and good is what you shall receive in return. Don’t let your inner demons win your life. Don’t believe the negative voices in your head and learn how to shut them out. You have more control over yourself than you can imagine! I just need you to continue to fight for yourself. Yes, it’s easier said then done but that’s where your friends and family come in. We will be here rooting for you and pushing you to be the best version you can be. Make a difference in someone else’s life. Once you have helped and loved yourself, you must continue to share that love with someone else in need. My ripple effect in life that I want to spread throughout the world. Learn to love and forgive yourself so you can continue to change other people’s lives too. You don’t know how much a simple, “hello, how are you?” will do to someone who’s hiding in the dark. Be their light at the end of the tunnel. Share the love. ❤️

[realign-with-yourself]

Have you ever wonder why a relationship ends? Why two people fall out of love; what went wrong and who stopped fighting? Love can be a complicated thing, yet it can be one of the most beautiful things life has to offer.

It takes two to make a relationship last, two to fight through all kinds of battles and hardships. Once one of them stops fighting, it becomes only a matter of time left until the relationship falls apart. Every relationship is different and has its own problems. Evaluate your relationship and make changes to better it. One thing a lot of people tend to do is blame the other and forget what really led them there in the first place. There’s only two paths for those in a relationship, they either get married or they break up. There is no “five year mark” that will “really” determine if you make it or break it. In a COMMITTED relationship, it’s either you fight or give up and leave. Love doesn’t come free, you have to fight for it and protect it. People forget that once they’ve become too “comfortable” with each other. No relationship is perfect and no relationship is free of obstacles. Some pointers I want to remind us all, look at the bigger picture.

Now, I’m not a couples therapist (although, I have thought of it at one point, lol) but I know if you love someone, you don’t give up on them, especially during their lowest points in life. True colors show when you’re at your lowest. Find someone who will love you for you and someone who will bring out the BEST in you. Find someone who supports you even through all your crazy ideas and mistakes. When things get complicated don’t just leave. Find the root cause and fix it before it gets buried so deep it changes that person for the worse.

One thing I always say and hope to help encourage others in need is that we can’t read each other’s minds or thoughts. Instead of being quick to point fingers remember to communicate with each other. Sometimes the answers are so easy. Be honest with one another and be OPEN minded. Lower your ego and be righteous.

[realign-with-yourself]

It's been a while since I've last wrote and during that time I've learned that relocating and no internet access is depressing, lol.

Have you've ever been disappointed by someone you love? Maybe not once, or twice, but several times that you've lost count? It sucks and it hurts. To hold a lot of love and trust in someone only to find out they've let you down, again. To forgive them over and over again just to find out you've been lied to, again. Just a reminder for us all, never expect anything from anyone. When we "expect" the best from someone we are setting ourselves up for disappointment and pain. When we hold such a standard for someone we can only blame ourselves for the end results, good or bad. We create our own disappointments and pain by believing and giving them the benefit of the doubt. We all will eventually come to a point in life where we cannot and will not allow ourselves to hurt over someone that obviously doesn't feel the same for us. If necessary, cutting that person out of your life will do wonders. If you are like me, we will forgive often and give many second chances to where it'll defeat the meaning of "second chances." Like I've said before in my other blog, "I forgive those who hurt me," not for their own good but for mine. We have a choice to fight for those who don't deserve it and we have a choice to forgive them over and over again. The most important thing we all can do for ourselves is to FORGIVE ourselves first for being foolish enough to give them that many chances. Why is that we often give that many chances in the first place? For me, it's because I know I am the only one that can be patient enough. The only one that is crazy enough to wait for as long as it takes. The only one that can see all the beauty at the end of the tunnel. Some people will choose to stay to see it and some people will choose to leave. Honestly, you do what is best for you. There is no right or wrong, no good or bad. It all depends on how you percieve it. I choose to wait and to see the end of the tunnel. I believe and forgive too much but that's because I truly believe everyone is good. I know, I'm gullible for thinking that but at least I can say I tried, to push and encourage them to be the best they can be. If I give you my time, love, and support don't take it for granted. It's because I BELIEVE in YOU I still sit here and fight for you. Now, if your are one of those people, forgive yourself for giving people the benefit of the doubt and start taking ownership of your decisions that led you down that path in the first place. Make peace with your disappointments and pain so you can have more room for love and happiness. Don't carry such a burden. Be happy so you can spend your time left here on earth wisely, for we don't know what's planned ahead. Every day we must try and change for the better. CHANGE our mindsets and look at life in a bigger picture. Don't make promises in the dark. I too, am still changing for the better as well, so let's make it a life time mission to being the better version we can be!! 😇

[realign-with-yourself]

What does being Hmong mean to me

I am a Hmong woman with a Hmong husband and kids.  What makes me Hmong?  To me, the language I speak, the traditional clothing I wear, the food I eat, the religion and culture I practice, and where my family comes from makes me Hmong.  Every nationality has their own beauty and uniqueness, but I am proud to be Hmong.  The history of our ancestors makes us who we are.  The blood that was shed during the Vietnam War, the farmlands that they harvested, the practice of shamanism, and everything in between makes us who we are, and that is what being Hmong means to me.  No matter what we do or what we say, it is established in our Hmong history, in our blood.  Being Hmong to me is going to school and bringing rice and chicken to eat at lunch as a child, teaching our American friends to speak our language but lying about the meaning of it (not always the best to do),  getting khauj tsiav (the knucles) when we are too naughty, and performing a Hmong dance at the talent show.  Kuv yog Hmoob (I am Hmong).  

One thing that saddens me is how fast the language is fading.  I’ll admit, my older children don’t know how to speak Hmong as much as they should, but that is our fault as parents for not teaching them.  When I realized how hard it was for my children to communicate with my mom it motivated me to try and teach them, especially my younger ones to speak Hmong, to keep the language alive.  A few years ago while working in a nursing home and caring for the elderly, I met a Hmong elderly man that was a resident at the facility.  He told me that no one could understand him and even the only other Hmong woman working there couldn’t meet his needs because of the language barrier.  Each time I entered the nursing home, his face would light up and he would push himself as fast as his wheel chair could go just to come talk to me.  My team coordinator would tell me how great it was to have someone there to converse with him.  There was a story that he told me that really stuck to me.  He told me one day while he was at dinner he wanted some water so he asked the other Hmong woman who was working at the time for some.  She didn’t quite understand him so she came back with a cup of milk instead.  He told me, “Ua cas nws ruam ua luaj, twb yog Hmoob es tsis paub Hmoob les?”  All the guilt of not teaching my children how to speak Hmong was a wakeup call.  This made me reflect on myself as a Hmong woman and mother.  Let’s never forget where we came from and who we are.  Embrace being Hmong so our children will do the same.  So, what does being Hmong to you?

This blog is not to belittle or demean anyone.  Sharing what I simply feel.  Thank you for reading!  

[realign-with-yourself]

Love yourself before you can spread love onto others.  Change starts with you!  Make it a lifetime mission to better you.

Nkao

[realign-with-yourself]

Have you ever had a dream of dying and not being able to talk to anyone?  No one could hear or see you and all you can see are your loved ones crying for you.  Some questions for everyone to think about.  Do you believe in judgement day?  Do you even know what judgement day is?  It is the last moment at the end of the world and your last judgement as a person here on earth.  It doesn’t matter what religion you believe in, if you were to die today, at this very moment, would you be happy to leave?  Could you say that you were a good person while here on earth? Fulfilled your purpose or did a good deed?

As for me, I do believe in judgement day.  When you have such an intense dream as such, it makes you question what you’re doing in life and how you perceive the world.  The reason why I continue to forgive those who hurt me, love those who don’t see it, and help those who don’t deserve it is because I believe in good karma also. Be good and receive good.  I want to encourage you all to be kind to one another and learn to let go of hate and anger.  Letting go of hate and anger really clears your mind; one of the best things I’ve done for myself.  You’ll feel free of stress and pain and grow into who you really are.  Now, I’m not sure if I can say confidently that I’m a great person but I can definitely say I am getting closer each day when I keep an open mind and a positive mindset.  Some days are hard and sometimes we forget but having those who knows you best be there to push and motivate you is always a great thing.  Life is unpredictable so let’s all try to be the better version of ourselves.  It’s better to keep trying to be good and better yourself than choosing to stay the same. It’s never too late to change, so be a new person today and make waves.  I dare you to move.  Let go of past mistakes and be different, starting today.  If someone is in need, lend a hand; be kind to one another. CHANGE your mindset.  Be positive and learn to see the bigger picture.  It doesn’t cost anything to be kind, just a little of your time.  I honestly wished I had someone to tell me instead of baring all the emotions that led me down a dark path.  Now that I’ve seen my light at the end of the tunnel, I want to remind you all to be patient. Once you’ve realized there’s so much more to life than to feel crappy for yourself, you’ll become stronger and wiser. The first step to changing and being a better person is to FORGIVE.  Most importantly, forgive YOURSELF for putting yourself through all the pain and hurt, only then you will be able to forgive others.  Love yourself before you can spread love onto others.  Change starts with you!  Make it a lifetime mission to better you.  <3

Thank you all for reading and remember, 

[realign-with-yourself]

I will forever love this song. If you don’t already know, I LOVE music! <3

[realign-with-yourself]

My better half

How I met my husband

I met my husband through my older sister, Ammee, and her ex (we will name him bob).  If anyone knows my sister’s ex, he didn’t speak fluent English and he was more of a traditional Hmong man.  So, our relationship started out with just a friendly conversation over the phone because he was new to the Appleton area and didn’t know many people.  I remember my sister telling me to talk to him as a friend and refusing to.  Only because I thought he was going to be a “fresh off the boat” guy (lol) and that he was a little too old for me with a two year old daughter; we are five years apart in age.  Before I finally talked to him, I covered the phone speaker and quickly asked my sister if he “spoke” any English.  She looked at me like I was an idiot and said, “Yes he does!!”  I rolled my eyes and finally said, “hello?”  My husband answered, “hey, whatsup?”  Shocked at how well his English was, I continued to talk to him for a few more minutes before handing the phone back to my sister.  We had just picked up “bob” from work and were headed to Walmart.  My sister then invites him to Walmart to meet with us.  As we were shopping and looking at shoes, my husband appears.  I will never forget the moment I saw him walking towards us.  He wore jean pants, a brown stripe button up top, tan Lugz, and these bad boy sunglasses (lol) and he even had his hair done real nice.  And here I was, a small short little 17 year old girl pushing the cart and minding my own business.  I’ll admit though, he was handsome but not “for” me at the time.  After Walmart my sister invited him over to the house, why she would do that beats me (shrug shoulders).  He came over and hung out for a little and I still remember hearing my sister, Pakula, when she first saw my husband.  LOL with funniest most confused facial reaction she asked my husband if he really was “bob’s” friend from work.  Each time she asked he would reply the same thing, “yea, he’s a good friend of mine at work.”  Pakula turns to me and says, “He’s cute!!”  I looked at her, shrugged, and said I guess (but deep down I lowkey thought he was, Lmbo). After that night we exchanged numbers and continued to message each other.  That was the beginning to our nine year marriage.  

Who is my husband

My husband has got to be one of the most misunderstood and judged people in the world.  He is a man of few words, but if anyone is lucky enough to really get to know him, he is a very wise and understanding person.  He has been through a lot and sometimes doesn’t even know how to be “sad” or “hurt” anymore, because that became a norm in his life.  People looked down on him and his brothers while growing up as he lost his father at a young age and his mother left for a new beginning; my husband in particular was one of the most disliked.  No father, no mother, and he was a “menyuam liab” growing up.  He wasn’t the greatest kid and others disliked him, but he grew to be a great husband and father.  People that used to think bad of him could still not believe how much he’s changed, for the better of course.  I always tell him that it’s usually the ones that grow up with hardships that are the most humble.  I am proud of the person he has become today and I am so grateful that he is my better half. I can honestly say, despite all his flaws and mistakes, I am one lucky woman to have him as my husband.  He is an extraordinary person that has overcome many obstacles, he is one of the most caring, loving, understanding, patient, and devoted person I know.  He has shown so much passion in making our lives better.  He is a very persistent and resilient person and he’s always coming up with business ideas!! I swear, his mind never rests. Lol.  He’s always on the go and always looking for ways to improve his business goals.  He is a very smart business man and never lets anything or anyone stop him.  His biggest dream is to make sure his little family is well taken care of and to never have to work hard another day.  There have been many down falls in some of his business endeavors but he NEVER gives up. He is definitely a risk taker and a goal getter.  I don’t know anyone as motivated as he is.  His love runs deep for his family and he has a beautiful heart.  My husband is a beautiful soul in disguise; he works hard and will always love you even if you had hurt him.  Don’t judge him by his appearance or what you hear about him and get to know him on a personal level, only then will you understand what I see in him and why I stayed with him through thick and thin.  I love my hard working man, thank you for being mine! <3  

Thank you all for reading!!! And let’s hope he doesn’t kill me for posting this!! Lol he doesn’t like to be put out there, but I want the world to know how great of a person he really is! <3

[realign-with-yourself]

Hi Guys!! So it’s that time again and kids are getting ready to go back to school!! I hope everyone went out to take advantage of the one time “no tax” days on school supplies, clothes, and shoes this year! If not no worries, it only happens once in a life time! Lol kidding, not kidding.

Anyways, do you ever feel like summer goes by too darn fast and it wasn’t long enough, yet at the same time “thank God the kids are going back?!” Lol if your kids are like mines, they stayed up way too late over the summer playing on their electronics they look like cavemen from cooping up in their rooms. The hard part is getting back onto a school schedule! What I usually do is take away their electronics and get them to sleep by 8pm. Yes, 8pm! During school night they’re not allowed to touch their electronics until the weekends or if I’m feeling a little generous and the kids get their homework done they can touch it for an hour or two. Try it on your kids, I promise there will be less talking back and complaining. Lol well at least for my kids it was haha. The good thing is when they complain that they’re bored, this is the best part, you tell them they can share a list of CHORES!! Lol that usually shuts them up pretty fast haha. Anyways, I hope all your kids have a wonderful school year and if your kids are at Jefferson as well, please have them keep an eye on my kids too! It’s my kid’s first year at Jefferson and they are quite nervous. Happy parenting and thanks for reading!

[realign-with-yourself]

My brother, Tchue

Not everyone wants to discuss the topic of death.  Have you ever wonder, “Where do my loved ones go after death?”  A question, that haunted me for many years after I lost my brother, Tchue.  Unfortunately, my brother was born with a hole in his heart and had a few heart surgeries in his first couple of years of life.  Despite his condition he still had a heart of gold and gave even when he didn’t have much to begin with.  My brother was one of the most humble people I know.  He was a class clown that everyone enjoyed having around yet he would be the one to stand up for another if they were getting picked on.  He touched many lives with the short amount of time he’s had here on earth.  Tchue was the type who would give up his favorite McChicken burger to his younger siblings just to make sure they wouldn’t go hungry, even if that means he will be. He, without a doubt, loved deeply and never judged another person.  He sees beauty within everyone and everything and treasures his family the most.  His eyes are filled with love and forgiveness and never acted out of vengeance, even if he was hurt.  He shows neither pain nor sadness and keeps a smile on his face wherever he goes.  My brother is loving, caring, understanding, accepting, and KIND.  He is my inspiration to being a good person and I hope to live up to him one day.

After his death I remember everyone telling me they would have dreams of him and I would sit there and wonder why I haven’t yet.  One night as I fell asleep I finally saw him in my dreams.  We were walking together outside as he stopped me and asked me to forgive him.  He said if I would forgive him he would be able to come back alive.  I asked him with a confused look, how that would be possible?  He pointed up and said “they” will allow me to come back.  I looked up and I could see a floating cloud with a man sitting on it with a book in his hands.  He told me quickly before his time was up and he had to return.  Before I could say anything I woke up.  Right away, out loud in tears, I told him, “YES, I will always forgive you no matter what.” The next day my older sister, Pakula comes and tell me she dreamt that my brother came to her as a girl and told her he was reborn!! My heart skipped a beat when she told me and right away I knew he was fine.  A few years later I dreamt that he came to visit but only this time as a red cardinal.  He was comforting me and telling me he will be my wings when I can’t fly.  Ever since that night until this day, I still see the little red cardinal outside my windows.  I still don’t have the right answers for where loved ones go after death, but after those dreams, it made me feel like he would always be okay. 

I just want to remind everyone who’s lost someone to keep their heads up.  Life can sometimes be challenging and you may want to give up at times but just remember YOU are still alive, well, and breathing.  Live life for those who left too soon, set big goals and dreams to achieve, try new things, and love sincerely.  I am no longer sad that my brother is gone, my mindset has changed and I will continue to spread his love and shine.  Love one another and be kind.  <3

All that is left is us siblings. We may fight and argue at times but we also have to remember to sib sib hlub so we can make him proud. 

Thank you all for reading! 

[realign-with-yourself]

My husband and I used to own a restaurant, Star Anise, in the fox cities.  We were open for two years and everyone that was there became Star Anise family, also known as the Star Anise crew.  It was a bittersweet moment when we decided to close our business.  The days and nights were long; we never had time with our kids, let alone ourselves.  It was the hardest times of my life to be away from my children and to take away from our family time.  Six days a week at the restaurant and even on our only day off, we were still literally at the restaurant. Although, I don’t regret opening Star Anise, I applaud those who are passionate in that area; running a restaurant is a very laborious career and requires a lot of time.  I still wouldn’t trade this experience for anything better because Star Anise has taught me how to become independent, courageous, daring, and bold.  

True family love is Star Anise family.  To have the crew there with you day and night, to literally give up their social life and work hard so your restaurant is successful is beyond words.  I want to thank you all for always being there for us then and even now.  Thanks for sticking it out until the end with us. <3

This video is dedicated to my Star Anise Family!

Lastly, I wanted to personally shout out to my brother in law, Khvyn!!  Although, things didn’t work out like we’d hope, I am grateful for all you’ve done for Star Anise.  You gave up half of your personal earnings to help us at the restaurant and that was REAL love.  You always looked out for us and ALWAYS had us in your best interest. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all you did and will do in the times to come.  I truly hope you find happiness in your future adventures!! We love you Khv! <3

[realign-with-yourself]

Remember, you are the reason!  You are loved so don’t ever forget that! <3

[realign-with-yourself]

Everyone we meet, whether that is family, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers, we continue to leave an impression of ourselves.

nkao

[realign-with-yourself]

Social Media Experiment

Yesterday I posted on my facebook page asking for all my friends and family to describe me as a person, how we met, and how long we’ve known each other.  The results was a success!  Many friends and family commented nice things they thought of me, many of which made me wonder who was cutting onions! Lol.  Even though, there weren’t any bad things written under that post, I know where everyone stands in my life and what’s been said and done. 

Everyone we meet, whether that is family, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers, we continue to leave an impression of ourselves. I stated I will explain in another post why I decided to write that post.  So here’s to why...

When you come to a point in life when you no longer care for what others have to say about you, you start to find your true happiness in life.  I’ve learned that the hard way. If you are like me, we are too “nice.”  You see, the problem is that when you are “too” nice, people take advantage of you; yes, sadly even family.  When you lend a hand to help someone in need, why is it that when they start to “get” somewhere in life they start to belittle you?  They tell the most appalling and hurtful things about you to others, but forget to mention the hundred things you have done to help them.  This is when you start to distant yourself from others, but all of a sudden you are being “weird.”  Well, let me tell you friends and family, I love being “weird!” Lol I no longer have to explain myself or try to fit in or even worry about what people will think of me!  Distancing myself from toxic people and situations has been the keenest most valuable thing I could have ever done for myself.  I may not have everything and everyone anymore, but I can honestly say, I am a lot more happier than when I did have everything.  I’ve lost a lot of friends and gained a lot of new ones along the way.  Each one, I am grateful to have learned something from, whether that be good or bad.

 Overall, the real purpose of this experience is to never forget those who stand behind us.  DO NOT let those who think otherwise define us as a person.  We pave our own happiness and we decide who stays to see you at your best!  I am at my highest self-realization phase of my life; I am growing to be a better person, learning to forgive those who’s caused damages, and becoming patient with what’s ahead.  Right now, at this very moment, I am at my “peace of mind.”  You’ll never understand what that phrase mean until you’ve reached it! So let’s all continue to love one another, be happy, be patient, and most importantly be KIND!  Thank you everyone for reading my blog and also to those who participated in my survey! <3