real-real-numbers

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I need that reddit post where it's like "what's the weirdest thing that happened to you as a sex worker?" And the girl is like "I had one guy who took me to a motel and we didn't have sex but he told me to watch him run around the room" and then someone asks "was he fast?" And she's like "scary fast haha"

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Every time I see news coverage of a protest I remember this image of a single overturned trashcan in front of The Washington Post building

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honestly i think im good without that thanks

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The time I opened an academic paper titled "parasitoid wasps" and read several sections about thermal temperatures in avalanche flow, wondering when the wasps were going to show up, before realising the file was probably mislabelled. "wow this sounds deadly and to think, the wasps haven’t even attacked yet"

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friend of mine was sleeping whilst another friend and i were talking about nonsense. at some point we were talking about how trains honked anyway in the no horn zone that we had both lived in at one point. either without waking up, or waking up so briefly as to not disturb her sleep, our sleeping friend turned over to face us and solemnly intoned "Trains are required by federal law to sound the horn three times at a grade crossing". then she was gone again. we shook her gently- no response, out cold. she didn't remember it in the morning.

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can make little animals out of it, etc

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i would trust weird al with my drink at a party. granted he may put one of those capsules that expands into a sponge animal in it,

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getting my hitbox surgically removed tomorrow

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When all you have is a vase, all your problems start to look like flowers

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pomegranates are so damn difficult to eat like could you be less of a metaphor and more of a fruit for a second im trying to have a snack

[real-real-numbers]

unparalleled image