real-and-imaginary

[real-and-imaginary]

*their gaze twitches around, discomfort clear.*

i... that's not true.

listen, sweetie, can you just - tell me what happened? something's fucked up. no one should - tell me what happened, please?

....huh. that's different. you seem more -

well. abby, you good?

- @real-and-imaginary

*She blinks.*

Ro?

*The echo of typing is still in her voice. Her hands feel static-y. She can’t tell what’s outside. There is a cursor at the edges of her vision.*

I feel - not real.

[real-and-imaginary]

i love you. I've missed you. it's been... oh, it's been a time

Minnie. Minnie I've missed you so much, oh god, Minnie -

i got a body! i have a body now, i can - Minnie, can I please hug you?

h- hold on- too much going on at once- 🥺🫂

[real-and-imaginary]

i don't want to mess with his mind. you know what happened last time. but - otherwise, do you have any ideas?

and if you don't.. what's your opinion on stupid ideas, highschool logic, and forged signatures ?

uncle, do you... should I help?

IF YOU THINK YOU CAN HELP, THEN BY ALL MEANS, YOU MAY TRY.

[real-and-imaginary]

hi hi! I don’t think we’ve met but also we’ve probably met a lot because you’re literally everything and i exist in you but uh. hi I’m pollution! But you can call me Pol, Albus, Alba, Weiss, Chalky, White, or really anything! Even Hexxus! Hi!!!!!

-boy in white!!!

YOU'RE MY FAVOURITE UNCLE'S FRIEND OH MY GOSH HI!!!!!!

i love the name pol<3 hexxus is so cool though! yeah, I've seen you around a couple of times.

I'm ro! ality! roality! what's up?

[real-and-imaginary]

*They amusedly follow the instructions, before stepping into the middle of the circle with a grin.*

sir yes sir!

*She can't help but examine the makings of the ritual circle. It's not like they're the best at magic, but they do know certain things - and from what they see, it's pretty likely that it would work.*

this is going to be fun. but, vi - you're good, right? you haven't strained yourself?

before we try it out on you, maybe we should just do a test run? i don't want you hurt. not when this is supposed to be bonding.

She draws a pentagram on the floor, lights a few candles, and writes around it in large letters “Ro, transi huc”

Then she waits.

[@real-and-imaginary although I can see that Dadifer is a bit busy rn, so feel free to do this later if you want]

[real-and-imaginary]

ooh! wow, you work fast - and, considering I'm here, it definitely worked.

*Moving closer to the candles, she hesitantly reaches out and lets the flame flicker close to their fingers.*

yeah, that's some serious power. have I ever told you just how skilled you are?

She draws a pentagram on the floor, lights a few candles, and writes around it in large letters “Ro, transi huc”

Then she waits.

[@real-and-imaginary although I can see that Dadifer is a bit busy rn, so feel free to do this later if you want]

[real-and-imaginary]

*Within a blink, they're standing in the corner of the room.*

Vi! Did you need me?

She draws a pentagram on the floor, lights a few candles, and writes around it in large letters “Ro, transi huc”

Then she waits.

[@real-and-imaginary although I can see that Dadifer is a bit busy rn, so feel free to do this later if you want]

[real-and-imaginary]

You died the way you lived: having no clue what’s going on. You are so clueless that you didn’t even notice that you died and just got up and went to work like normal the next day.

[real-and-imaginary]

i can do you four better! all in one.... or atleast at once!

hold on tight, darling.

*they blink, and let both of them appear outside some aquarium.*

hereeee we go. they have the most beautiful fishies, and they also have a fun pool! as for stamps and flies -

*a snap, and there's a packet of various stamps in Eric's hands.*

you can... use them on the aquarium glass, maybe? the fish would appreciate some decoration, I'm sure. and flies - uh. how about this. I'm sure there's a lot of flies buzzing around inside - I'll make sure they're all nice to you. sounds good?

Royal!

@ask-eric-the-disposable-demon

*they perk up, cooing and revolving around the baby in a whip of wind, before realising they should probably interact with their body.*

hello, my darling dear! what's up with the baby Eric of my dreams?

[real-and-imaginary]

*they blink, a little bit of panic evident in the gesture.*

....play? like, uh. building blocks? legos? are legos a choking hazard?

id love to play, sweetie, but you're gonna have to give the ideas here

Royal!

@ask-eric-the-disposable-demon

*they perk up, cooing and revolving around the baby in a whip of wind, before realising they should probably interact with their body.*

hello, my darling dear! what's up with the baby Eric of my dreams?

[real-and-imaginary]

*he likes the wind. he likes the wind. they just about lose it, rushing down to him and picking him with an excited squeal, peppering kisses all over his face as the wind continues to twist around them protectively.*

anddd we're up! what does my darling wanna do now? royal's all yours, sweetheart .

Royal!

@ask-eric-the-disposable-demon

*they perk up, cooing and revolving around the baby in a whip of wind, before realising they should probably interact with their body.*

hello, my darling dear! what's up with the baby Eric of my dreams?

[real-and-imaginary]

*they smile at him, relief and utter appreciation clouding her features. to hear someone acknowledge it - that the disembody-ness, the wind, the nature, is a part of her now - it's stupidly suffocating, with how freeing it feels.*

thanks, sweetie. she is absolutely a badass, yeah, but she's also recovering right now, isn't she?

just -

*they pull him into another quick, one sided hug.*

thank you. for everything. i love you so much for this, Eric.

oh, and, I got my new job confirmed! think my big brother'd show me the reins?

eric, beloved!!!!

I'm currently on the look out for a job.... if asked, you'd refer me, right?

Ro. Ro why are you applying to work for Hell? Ro Dad is going to ground you.

[real-and-imaginary]

Royal!

@ask-eric-the-disposable-demon

*they perk up, cooing and revolving around the baby in a whip of wind, before realising they should probably interact with their body.*

hello, my darling dear! what's up with the baby Eric of my dreams?

[real-and-imaginary]

oh wow, you're... amazing, aren't you? handling demons? even dad can't do that, unholy shit

and that's amazing! i really appreciate the access to the big boss. and... do social calls count as urgent? probably not, I'm guessing...

but still, this is an amazing opportunity you've given me. I'm genuinely so thankful - wait, are manners allowed in Hell?

wonderful. I'll probably.... check in with the new boss dagon! figure out where's what and what's where, bla bla. cannot wait to get started. oh, is there dress code? because I love me a suit, but also, I've heard it's hot down there.

hello! i would like a job. i can give you a cv, as long as you're hiring!

if it helps, my dad is Lucifer Morningstar. and if you need a reference, Eric would probably give one-?

- @real-and-imaginary

*they sigh and pull out a bunch of paperwork*

Okay, zo. I have no clue which child you are becauze Lucifer might az well have more children than Her herzelf. Hell iz not really a company, more like a country(?) Difficult to explain in human terminology zo we're not "hiring" but it'z way too long to explain zo let'z juzt zay we can hire and leave it at that. Firzt, are you a demon?

[real-and-imaginary]

yeah, no problem, I'll try to figure it out still. heard that the one who's powers I have now had been around almost since Her - maybe I won't find a permanent solution, but enough to patch a few of the smaller things up, maybe?

*they wince a bit at the monotone, before offering something to make the deal sweeter.*

No problems whatsoever! in fact, if you want, i could put a compulsion on the "don't lick walls" posters, so that all the demons need to follow the order-?

and thank you so much. you don't get - this is amazing, thank you for the job!

*they sign the paper hurriedly, grinning as the contract sets into place, and sending a shred of their awareness down into Hell.*

who will I be reporting to? and how does the selection of who I torment happen?

hello! i would like a job. i can give you a cv, as long as you're hiring!

if it helps, my dad is Lucifer Morningstar. and if you need a reference, Eric would probably give one-?

- @real-and-imaginary

*they sigh and pull out a bunch of paperwork*

Okay, zo. I have no clue which child you are becauze Lucifer might az well have more children than Her herzelf. Hell iz not really a company, more like a country(?) Difficult to explain in human terminology zo we're not "hiring" but it'z way too long to explain zo let'z juzt zay we can hire and leave it at that. Firzt, are you a demon?

[real-and-imaginary]

anything for you, darling, and I meant it. @angelo-chuck-wagon won't hear from me until we finalize something out, fair enough?

oh, sweetheart, I've just recieved a new mission to life - and it's unearthing every part of you you're willing to let me see.

ahhh, yes, the metatron. I'm sure it's a happy marriage... though I must say, my dear, i was appalled at how he insisted you drink that horrible thing! should there not be trust, in matrimony? how I wished I could have comforted you, then. but better late than never, no?

if I am mesmerizing, then it's merely your own charm - so bountiful, that it reflects back at you. after leaving me thouroughly spellbound, of course!

we have a deal, sweetie. and, if you'd allow me that - a date, maybe?

@angelo-chuck-wagon @winnifred-is-a-creechur

*takes Chucks hands in theirs, rubbing their thumb over the backs of his hands, pulls Chuck into her arms, wrapping him up tightly in the blanket. Presses his head onto her shoulder, rocking him and softly begins to sing*

@real-and-imaginary

[real-and-imaginary]

oh, you don't need to apologise! we can make up for the delay in invite by going out for a date, instead...

oh, forgive me, i don't know you that well yet - though I'd like to - but i just thought that, you know. being as mesmerizing as you are, you ought to have some form of vanity.

oh please! i really didn't mean to freak him out that much, you know? I'll leave if you insist... but is it okay if I try to meet up with him physically? as in, in my body, rather than in his head? from my understanding, his main problem with my... overtures of friendship... is the speaking into his mind thing.

you don't need to do a thing to get me to listen - I'd do anything you say.

(within reason. please don't ask me to kill my dad just because I'm committed to the flirting bit.)

@angelo-chuck-wagon @winnifred-is-a-creechur

*takes Chucks hands in theirs, rubbing their thumb over the backs of his hands, pulls Chuck into her arms, wrapping him up tightly in the blanket. Presses his head onto her shoulder, rocking him and softly begins to sing*

@real-and-imaginary