sharing my one braincell w/ my cat | 20+ | PL/ENG | she/her 🏳️⚧️ | pfp - @kumzorg
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OK SO. Lmfao Jecka Cookie Monster is silly asf but I had a vision😔 anyway imma post the version with no filters too in a second post cuz I can’t add two videos at once which sucks.
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you: wait, babe… we can’t fuck yet… you aren’t wearing protection…
your vampire lover: protection? what do you mean prote- oh ok so fuck you first of all
you, holding these:
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guy with 60hz monitor: i am enjoying playing this game
guy with 240hz monitor: Honestly if you were to conceive of the most efficient possible torture in terms of purely causing agony for as long as possible and also have your firstborn son killed in front of you during the torture it would not even be a tenth as bad as playing a game at 60 fps
#i'm the spoiled 240hz girl#i was so oblivious when using 60#now it's unusable except for browsing web and reading#everything feels sluggish below 90
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how is it still january? every day I wake up and it's still january ... make it stop
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oh dang, it's gonna take them even longer to get home in that
[Image description a news screenshot reading "Physicists make tiny model of Star Trek's USS Voyager that's smaller than a human hair"]
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for each trans person who is unable to acquire hrt or safely transition in any way i will break the fingers of every single cis person on the planet
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Praca fizyczna: nawet po 6 godzinach nie jestem głodna bo jestem zajęta, dopiero jak siądę to nagle czuję glod
Praca umysłowa: 3 godziny po sporym posiłku ZARAZ ZEMDLEJE!!!! NIE JADLAM 3 DNI CHYBA
Macie tak?
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I had a dream a while ago that I was walking down a winding road in a forest in the middle of the night and there were several signs along the road. One of them had a picture of Dr house on it and it said “are you gay” and there were two buttons underneath labeled yes and no. And if you pressed the yes button a fire hose would spray at you
This is exactly what it looked like
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if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.
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if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.
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