razor-witt - Tumblr blog

[razor-witt]

"sometimes, i thought my father was a God. i loved him that much."

— Leila Chattis, "Muslim Girlhood"

ocean vuong, "someday i'll love" / sam fender, "seventeen going under" / the front bottoms, "father" / satanay, tumblr / clementine von radics / agustín gómez-arcos, "the carnivorous lamb" / ?

[razor-witt]

that james baldwin quote where he says, “it took many years of vomiting up all the filth i’d been taught about myself, and half-believed, before i was able to walk on the earth as though i had a right to be here.”

[razor-witt]

I've been thinking about this post for a while and wrote this as a response to it:

For a really long time i couldn't light my own cigarettes.

My fine moter skills were atrocious, and sometimes my joint locked up. I couldn't spin the wheel fast enough to get anything more than a few sparks.

It was embarrassing to have to ask people to light them for me and people, even strangers, did it because i already had the cigarette in my hands and everything.

Then i got older, which happens occasionally, even when you smoke to prevent it, and suddenly i didn't have to steal lighters from my friends moms anymore. I could get the fancy kinds with buttons from the supermarket, or matches if i felt like it, and i could carry my cigarettes with me instead of hide them, but my friends still lit them like they had done for years.

Later, I went across the country. I started and stopped smoking more times than you could count. I accumulated a healthy collection of spark wheel lighters i couldn't use and frequently pawned them off on other friends who could.

One day I'm at a dinner party and giving some away and a friend who didn't know i couldn't use them asked me why. I told her my hands couldn't handle it.

"Oh!" She said, and pulled a butter knife out of the drawer beside us. She ripped the safety off the spark wheel. Said: here try it now.

And I could do it.

I went home and showed my roommate. I could do it now! I was so excited.

The next day a friend asks if i have a cigarette. I say yes! And I get to light it for her.

why do we fix someone else's tie for them instead of just telling them how? why do we hold hands when they're cold instead of just putting them in our pockets? Get real

[razor-witt]

The Mistery IV   -    Francis Di Fronzo , 2020.

American, b.1969-

Oil, watercolor and gouache on panel , 15 1/4 x 19 1/2 in.

[razor-witt]

I hope everything i ever believed about life after death is wrong.

I hope you wake up again, on the couch of your great great great grandmother, and i hope everyone is so happy to meet you.

I hope every meal is the best one you've ever eaten.

I hope Jack is waiting for you in his old car, and i hope all the cup holders are full of beer.

I hope there's a train you can take through the beautiful country, where its always 70 degrees and sunny.

I hope there are cats that rub your ankles, bands that only play your favorite songs, friends that visit you every day, and grandmothers who make you tea before you even realize you want it.

I hope for every one of us that miss you there's 12 people who say "you're finally here!".

I hope you are so full of joy that you never look down and see our grief.

I hope the afterlife is kinder than the former life has ever been, because we miss you but we all hope you never miss us.

We hope if never even occurs to you that you should.

[razor-witt]

Home for the holidays

[razor-witt]

@roach-works // Melissa Broder, "Problem Area" // Mary Oliver, "The Return" // @annavonsyfert // Koyoharu Gotouge, Demon Slayer // Haruki Murakami, Dance Dance Dance // David Levithan, How They Met and Other Stories // Tennessee Williams, Notebooks

[razor-witt]

the first and only rule of having fun in a fandom is picking a narratively insignificant or underappreciated character to be balls to the walls crazyinsane about

[razor-witt]

“You want to crack him open and hold his heart in your hands, sink your fingers into the thin membrane of his lungs. You want to pull back his skin and curl up inside his ribcage. You want to know what he is inside. Find the symptom, the sickness, the anomaly that let him love you. You want to be warm again.”

— Shastra Deo, from  “Arrhythmia“ In:  “The Agonist“ by Shastra Deo

[razor-witt]

he said i belong locked up in a hospital somewhere so ill forget who i am. jokes on him. i never really knew who i was. what have this become?

a question only countered in some monster movie madness. sometimes spewed out just before the signal down. the wizard of oz in reverse. from color to black and white. i am completely obsessed with everyone who is completely unobsessed with me. or sometimes with life. and by life i dont mean heartbeats and breathing. i mean 9 to fives and becoming the suburbs. the complete fuck off of it all being that i am completely obsessed with backyards, christmas trees and lemonaid stands. its like the northshore is my heaven, the valley is my golden gates. excuse mne for nodding off. always boring myself to death. take a chill pill. the story of my life the unauthorized biography written by myself. i dont even remember saying goodbye to you. happiness is the sand in the sea. its just a percentage of a percentage inside a body of water, life is just a crocodile with a ticking clock inside of it chasing captain hook. its just i havent figured out this graceful aging thing so well yet. im sorry baby. my heart is clumsy. but i love you in a holding your hair back kind of way. just wanna dip my toe into death to see if its a warm bath. anytime anything breaks me open ever i just spit out a fortune. if it means anything i spend my time with a bunch of people who ignore the vibrant sky and just look for the pot of gold at the end. addicted to addiction. curiosity killed the cat. but what the fuck did loyalty ever get the dog.

posted by xo on 31 May 2007 @ 2:05 AM

[razor-witt]

photography by sergey neamoscou

[razor-witt]

wings

[razor-witt]

Congratulations you softblocked a mutual of five years earning you the "Judas Kiss" badge!

[razor-witt]

“You see, we all got what I call a life trap — a gene deep certainty that things will be different, that you’ll move to another city and meet the people that’ll be the friends for the rest of your life, that you’ll fall in love and be fulfilled... fucking fulfillment... and closure. […] Nothing’s ever fulfilled, not until the very end. And closure — nothing is ever over.”

(True Detective, season 1)

[razor-witt]

[razor-witt]

on want on shame

you are jeff, richard siken / drawn to you, woodkid / dante et virgile, william-adolphe bouguereau / creophagy, angelica alzona / birds hover the trampled field, richard siken/ true detective, s1 / "flesh and the mirror" from burning your boats: the collected short stories, angela carter / untitled, e.b. / "summer" from girls that never die, safia elhillo.

[razor-witt]

https://gf.me/u/4jdgvf

Need top surgery so i dont blow up a building