ravingteenpip

[ravingteenpip]

Rude.

That’s when you were supposed to ask me what kinda dance I wanted.

But okay, duly noted.

-lazily stretches and pops joints-

Uhhhhh, yeah, good point. My ass is starting to make too much of an imprint on your couch, I need to get up.

Oooooooooooookay then.

I have. No idea what you just said but okay.

Please don’t put money in my pants ever again.

#i appreciate the donation though#next time just hand it to me okay?#are you gonna come grocery shopping with me or will you hog the couch some more

[ravingteenpip]

#I'm nearly out of toilet paper I need to get more if you're staying for a few days#also i'm all out of cereal#stop eating it all i'm gonna have to get two boxes if this keeps up

...;; 8T

-slowly reaches into own pocket to fiddle with wallet-

-leans over couch-

-quietly slides a 50 into his waistband and snaps it back-

-paps it-

  Mo konmprann m’good buddy~! :’) That should cover some new snacks and toilet paper for the time being right?

Mmh.

Marginally.

So how long are you staying over again?

[ravingteenpip]

Pbllff ,oh, okay.

Alright, I’m sorry...

...--your daughter will never make it as an attractive smut peddler for as long as she lives no matter how hard she tries.

S'at better?

Apologize.

#my daughter's nonexistent tits are gorgeous

[ravingteenpip]

[txt]: LEMON IS NOT GROTESQUE

YOOOOOOoo, your daughter’s tit pics are TOOtAllllly GROTEEESSSQUE.

[ravingteenpip]

--------------------------

*jingle bells plays quietly on the radio*

...

Well, I think today went well. You got yourself a nice Christmas tree, we saw an old friend, you got out todaaay.

...So why'd the tree get front seat again?

……

-turns around, counting out on his fingers frantically-

Forty…. gods….

-leans against the trunk of his car weakly-

do you still have lemon.

hhhh…. uh…

yeah…. yeah she’s…. she’s fine…

[ravingteenpip]

#WHAT OTHER BOMBS ARE YOU GOING TO DROP ON ME TODAY DUDE#first you're not fourteen#now you have a tongue piercing??#what next#running for president??

  -makes progressively more confused look-

Ben I've literally had this,

on the very first time you met me and just about every time after that. Hell, I've had it pierced since I was like, sixteen, before I even lived here.

...

And I'll have you know I'd be the hottest president ever in the white house if I were interested in politics.

-slowly grins-

You poor thing, am I just now blowing your mind?

You—

You have a tongue piercing??

[ravingteenpip]

...

-raises hands up in air theatrically-

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh.

my.

god.

-hisses out the number under breath-

What fourteen year old has seven piercings INCLUDING a tonguepiercing?!?!

HOW MANY MORE PARTS OF ME DO I HAVE TO GET PIERCED BEFORE THIS STOPS HAPPENING.

-stares-

…

…how old did you think I was.

[ravingteenpip]

-stares-

...

...how old did you think I was.

-doesn’t seem to notice Pip flinching at his touch-

I dunno, dude, short hair looks real smooth on you.

…-frowns-

Hhhhhold on. Back up; rewind a bit.

Graduation? Twenty??? College??????????????

You ain’t twenty. Ha ha. Nooooooo way, man. Psyche!! Nice try.

…

..Are you really??

[ravingteenpip]

Man it has been awhile, I'm surprised you changed so much too.

Pffff--d'awww missed ya too you ectopiece of cra-- -flinches at the sudden cold shoulder temperature seeping through coat- CHristhatscold--Uhhh let'seee..

Haaaa, I graduated already out of school so that was pretty cool I guess.

-scratches underneath hat-

Oh.

-gestures unenthusiastically at own head-

Mom came down to visit again after some'misunderstandings' decided my hair needed to look presentable for graduation photos and "out of my face". Haha, but you can see that yourself.

-counts off of fingers-

More weird magic shenanigans, finally hit 20 a few months back, pretty much same work as usual.... huh. I guess I'll be applying for community college eventually but not much new stuff with me.

-shrugs-

Partyin' and workin on a daily basis, how boring am I~? ;)

..Huh—

OH. Right.

-rubs arm and grins a little-

Uhh— Yeah, I’m— I’m still a spirit. Poltergeist, whatever?

Uhhh.. there’s a perfectly good reason, and uhh, I’ll explain it later. Alright? Fer now, uhh.. s’just say that I did some serious thinkin’ over the uhh— how long has it been? Four? Five? ..Seven? Seven. Wow—seven months I’ve been uhh.. gone.

Anywaaaayyy—what’ve you been doin’. Whaaaat’d I miss? I mean, besides your dumb mug. :)

-gently punches shoulder-

[ravingteenpip]

-blinks-

Oh.. yeah, actually. Much better.

-sheepishly rubs neck and averts eyes-

Hi, Ben.

Sssssorry for all that, uh, sssoooooo...

Trying out a new look, I see. Very nice.

-kicks gravel with foot-

Ifffffff you don't mind me askin' how the hell did that truck hit you. I thought you were all.. uh, -makes inexplicable hand gestures-

spirit-y.

-jumps a foot when Pip yells-

U-uhhh….;;;;

Uhm…

I think -

I’m guessing I should know you??? But I don’t… really know??

I mean….

-rubs his arm nervously-

#the only Ben I know is this kid I met once way back when# but I’m nintey percent sure he doesn’t talk like a old radio #aaaand i’m ninety percent sure he isn’t#whatever it is you are #i’m too afraid to say the d word #you’re not the d word are you

[ravingteenpip]

-flinches when scarf is taken-

-stays quiet-

:|

:Tc

...

....

..!! ( ꒪Д꒪)

BEN.

YOU.

COLOSSAL.

ASSHOLE.

yOU SCared t He  Crap OUT OF US. -wheezes-

Why do you look like that?! ...and talk like that.

-glARes at Winchell-…

..O̕҉̢͢҉h҉̶̵̛͠!̧́͢͜͠

-snatches Pip’s scarf, tying it around his neck-

-points to it-

S͏̴̨͟e̴͘e? It’̧̢̡s̶͢͞ ̢̢͝a̷̸̡͡n asc̶̸̨̀̕o̵̢͘͠҉t̢́͜!

#-gives VERY expectant look-

[ravingteenpip]

-frowns noting the sensitive change in expression-

Uh, well, I... I can't really understand you right..

-rubs back of neck shuffling dangling feet-

Aw, don't be offended. You seem to know me, I'mmmm surrrree if I could understand you i'd recognize you... buddy.

;;;;

..Wha̷̶̶̢t͘҉́,͏̵̵̢͝, Winc̶̴̡̛͠h̶̡ę̵̛͟͡l̵̨͞l?

That’̷̀͜ş̛͝ hi̶͡͏̵s̀͢͠ nam̢҉̛͏è̷̢͞, isn̵̵̡͘’̸̶͝t̛͏̴̢͠ it?

-folds arms across chest, huffing, looking extremely wounded-

D̶̛ó̶̧͘͟n̢҉̧͡͞’̴̧̨͏t̵͡͝͏̛ tel̷̡̡͘͠ļ̴̷̡͝ me yớ̸͟ų̢̕͘ ͘͢͞d̸̀͜ờ̷͘n’t kn̕҉́ơ̶҉̀w̧̨͞͝ ͏̀ẁ̷̡́͘ho I à̸̢͢ḿ̸̨̕͡, Pip̴̕?̸̀

It̨̢͢͟’̡̧͜͟͝s̨͝͠ ̸͟͜͝B̢̧͘͞en.

[ravingteenpip]

-repeatedly smacks winchell's backside-

WHO CARES WHAT'D YOU STOP FOR--

-notices ben still approaching-

-struggles reaching down for shopping bag to throw at him and aims-

-squints-

...

...sir would you mind repeating what you just said?

-tumbles towards the retreating duo, appearing to have some difficulty steering himself in a straight line-

…

-stares really hard at the taller figure-

..Winç̷͞h͘͜҉h̵́͜͜h̵̷̕҉͢ell?

[ravingteenpip]

Why are you trying to run off?

-laughs hysterically-

D ID YOU NOT JUST SEE THAT? ? ? YE AH YOU STICK AROUND HAVE FUN.

[ravingteenpip]

...

-halts immediately-

-begins back walking-

-kneels over winchell-

-AGGRESSIVELY SHAKES-

WIN.

WINCHELL, WAKE UP. NOW.

-SLAPS-

-body twitches on pavement for a moment, before slowly sitting upright-

…

-feels around head for a moment, before bracing both palms against side of head-

-tWISTS-

..P҉͠͡͞i̴̡͠͝p̶̵̨̧͢ ?͟͢͡

I̶̸͡͠s̨͝  ̸̡͢͝t̷̨̧́͡h̷҉͟a̵̧t̷̶̢̀͏ ̸̧ y͞҉o͠u̶͟͢͠?̷͡͠

[ravingteenpip]

...

...holy shit.

Winchell did you see tha-

WHAM

[ravingteenpip]

-watches him put tree away in the car-

You dirty elf loving fuck, I knew it.

-kicks car wheel-

Shut up and open the trunk so I can put these in and you can tell me more about how much you love elf ass---

[HOOONK HOOOOONK]

Oh god, haha!

Yeah, it’s not your fault you’re so short - I mean, vertically challenged. :)

But really, you should consider taking up on the store’s job offer.

You know.

The elf gig.

#you'd be the world's best elf#with the most dirty mouth mind you but#i'm sure you'd look cute in the little elf outfit with all the little bells#also I considered decking out lemon's tank for the holidays but she doesn't understand so#didn't bother