ratzfight

[ratzfight]

wow what

I literally regret life my mom took my phone away and thinks my tears are from my phone because I cried all night long but it was cause I dont know what I want to be when I grow up and im failing at life and im sorry that might not sound like to you but to me with nobody to help me and to look up to and im not use to asking for help this is a lot and from my mom point of view she thinks im crying like this either because of a nigga or because I have a sharan she said school isn't worth crying for and honestly weird but yeah imma give you guys a life update and omg she blasting jinn Quran in my ears tryna get a reaction but alx I dont got a jinn

[ratzfight]

sahra

[ratzfight]

bilaal

ew I really thought you were my first love but honestly I think it was because you gave me attention and im realizing that after blocking you. Youre stingy with money and care too much about your little stp rep and you have a crush on bitches with clout.you have your moments no lie but also you suck because why did it take you 8 months to get me puny flowers why tf did you b so cheap on our target haul why are you so touchy why can we not link with you trying to kiss me and why tf do you get off on simple making out like omg your sad.i think that target night haul made me realize how lame you were and the fact you still text me after is beyond pissing me off. whenever you do things that are the are minimum like you seen my tits and you made out with me and you gave me 1000 hickeys why did it take you 8 months to get me flowers why tf did you let me pay for 3 of our dates like when I say pay I mean the whole day like your beg asf and I honestly think its the attention you must have gave me because youre dead beat. you have no future and dont understand how dumb you are. I dont want to sound like a hater but im sorry I would have blocked you off of everywhere but you got lucky and live in my city. but honestly I dont want you to get rid of your good deeds like you listen to me you suck at it but you did and I HATE YOU IM SORRY you literally make me so mad just thinking about you like why tf did you ruin me like why did I think I was gonna marry you or you were gonna have my kids you literally are worthless im sorry but you make me piss when my name is connected to yours im sorry like when I tell you, you automatically think imma take you to prom never ew never I dont like being assicoted with you

I wrote that paragraph out of anger and im sorry because it excused a lot of things.you were so kind and put up with so much I love our videos but I hated that I could post you and you never posted me I hated that my friends knew you and I didn’t know yours. I hated how you were my only friend and I wasn't yours.i hated how you use to tell me that I was pretty and the hottest girl yk whenever I told you I felt ugly and hated myself that makes me feel like I forced that or it was me being beg. I despised you for that. I hated how you use to make me feel stupid for liking you because you were just so dumb.i hated you for being dumb or saying im very slow like are you fem shut up. I hated you for caring about your rep or thinking you were cool for know stp whores like being invited to Salma birthday bash and not knowing her like omg shut up. I hate how you still call me and ruin my chances with other guys like I cant to talk to other guys because you think your my 1 love youre not I promise you your not and what pisses me off even more is there are guys who like my every post and story and you cant because I dont like yours like wtf is wrong with you. you are too ugly too like with a beard take it off and omg youre ugly  like I cant even thinking about you without getting pissed im sorry. we had our talks for hours and hours but it felt like it was only me talking like you have no input like any other guys like you cant talk for yourself

I can not believe I thought about being with you for the rest of my life and im sorry I cannot.you cant even talk about what's wrong with me like you cant have your opinion yk like I say something and you would just agree im sorry your beg gn ly not

[ratzfight]

a day I never want to forget 3/18/22

 its currently 3 am and I wanted to write this so I can never forget it maybe idk be the change in me that I seek in going Mia for the change I want in myself because the sahra I am today.i hate her so I wasn't asleep but I needed water so I had to pretend I had just gotten up and all my siblings were asleep and my father had just came home and my mom told me at 3 am if I go to sleep with my 14 year olds brother room dirty im over with and I find that beyond unfair because I didn’t mess it up so I argued I dont care.she thinks just because shes my mother she can abuse me and act like I abuse her.

I cant wear pants because she fat shames me. I cant hang out with friends because she shames my friends and act like im a dick rider and would dick ride my friends  my mom met sumaya friends today and she said good things about them but my mom every friend I tell her to meet its always bad names or hate towards them.i honestly give up so much for my mother and for what she says she does everything for me but look where I am at right now. not allowed to take a gap year but she won't help me sign up for fafsa. she won't take me to the gym but fat shames me.wont buy me a car but won't let me save up money because she wants me to help pay her dumb ass bills.like my mother kept telling me to do laundry right but she won't give me the money so I kept putting it off and is that my fault like my mom wanted me to use my own money for her kids laundry and no I won't. my parents won't stop talking about how they left me drive their car and imma have to pay gas for it.I WILL NEVER EVER AGAIN PAY GAS AGAIN FOR MY MOMS CAR. im never allowed to go anywhere but school and home and if I do go anywhere its to drive my moms kids places smh.

my sister will never ever hear a rant or anything from me again I promise. sumaya is dead to me and I will never do this girl a favor idc never. selma been dead to me. these girls don’t know how much they use me every single day.like I literally give up so much for them like my sister selma and sumaya use to get dropped off to school by me and I would rush them because I need to go to school myself duh and they would act like I had to drive them because it was my mothers car and honestly I didnt have to. I would've gotten yelled at and gotten in trouble because it would be more work on my parents but thats it Idk but my sisters only paid gas once and they are so entitles and its my moms fault 

I feel like this is so haram to say but I hate my mom im sorry I hate her.she never once did anything for me ver since e we came back from Kenya and literally its sad because I would get a job and she would say what I bought with the money is dumb and I should've helped my mother man fuck you like she never once helped me and I can never talk to my mother without her bringing up money. my mom separates her kids in 2 groups the older kids and the younger ones. im the second oldest of 6 kids and my mom literally uses me and she knows it. like think of it like this. I went to the movies and couldn't sit down and watch a full movie without my mom telling me to come home and pick up her kids and even worse I literally pick up my siblings from dugsi rt and if I drop them off or pick them up late my mom spazzes out on me. for what im not their mom its your job as a mother. and my mom promises to take my siblings anywhere I would have to drive them and whenever I try to argue with them. she goes you love to drive stop showing off. my mother acts like she knows me but she knows nothing I dont think anyone in my life doesn't and the only reason she thinks I love driving is because I wanted to learn so bad because I wanted freedom and my own car and being able to do whatever I wanted.

I feel like everyone in my family. my cousins my mother her sister my siblings and my grandma all think im this dumb dick dizzy girl and my sister literally said that because I said I was gonna get married young but the only reason I would is so I can be my own person