rattsnott

[rattsnott]

I am afflicted by Nuance. I fear it may be terminal. well okay, not necessarily "terminal" per se, but

[rattsnott]

Tell me when you get bored. A story about doses. [x]

I posted this on twitter and had a variety of aggressive ableism thrown my way.

This is a story about changing what I can in spite of what I cannot for the comfort of my loved ones. The thing that others find to be hurtful about me is that I like to spend time in silent solitude. People who love me often feel hurt that I tend to solve my own problems instead of leaning on them.

When we spend too much time together, people find my neutrality to be concerning, and it becomes too much for people to be unable to read me.

To show the people I love that I enjoy their company in ways they can understand, I pool my energy together to be high-energy, peppy, and social. Since this is not my natural state of being, it takes effort, which can only be expended in small doses. I amplify the things people like in me while filtering out everything they dislike about me when I am in their company.

I change my behaviors for those I love, but at the end of the day, I cannot change my neutral state of being, which is the thing that they want most out of me.

This is a story about me accommodating people in the best way I know how, not the other way around. I would truly appreciate it if people don't misconstrue this anecdote as me asking for dismissal of hurtful behavior when in reality, people find hurt in the fact that I simply exist, and I must change for them.

[rattsnott]

From the CoroToonz Zine

[rattsnott]

[rattsnott]

you guys made luigi mangione trend for days and I need to see the same energy for brianna boston. she is a 43 year old mother of three who ended a phone call with blue cross blue shield (after being denied a claim) “delay deny depose, you’re next” and is now being held under a 100,000$ bond and could face FIFTEEN years of prison if charged. she has no weapons, her record is clean, and yet she is being held behind bars. they are afraid of the public and are trying to subdue. do not let them!!!! say her name!!! be outraged that our freedom of speech is being threatened!!!!! deny defend depose! free brianna boston!

[rattsnott]

Steve Hiett, Down on the road by the beach, 1983.

[rattsnott]

[rattsnott]

something something despite the all horrors and tragedies of the world, love was there and that's all that matters

[rattsnott]

i can't fucking shut up about the man that people are starting to call "The Claims Adjuster" because he not only shot that evil fucker but:

wrote deny defend depose on the bullets in sharpie

deliberately left behind a backpack in central park full of fucking monopoly money

and the cherry on top (so far) is that he potentially used a gun that was designed for veterinarians to put down sick animals

its art, its amazing, this is the best thing thats happened in like 10 years and he is my hero. Everything has felt so bleak and this is like a ray of light shining through the dark clouds into my soul

may they never catch him, and may we never find out who he was

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YOU hates terfs

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[rattsnott]

ilove u sickly unwell freak ♥

[rattsnott]

these did numbers on twt

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such immaculate cheeckbones,, woa..,

Houska's 5th Birthday

[rattsnott]

truly some people have no genre savviness whatsoever. A girl came back from the dead the other day and fresh out of the grave she laughed and laughed and lay down on the grass nearby to watch the sky, dirt still under her nails. I asked her if she’s sad about anything and she asked me why she should be. I asked her if she’s perhaps worried she’s a shadow of who she used to be and she said that if she is a shadow she is a joyous one, and anyway whoever she was she is her, now, and that’s enough. I inquired about revenge, about unfinished business, about what had filled her with the incessant need to claw her way out from beneath but she just said she’s here to live. I told her about ghosts, about zombies, tried to explain to her how her options lie between horror and tragedy but she just said if those are the stories meant for her then she’ll make another one. I said “isn’t it terribly lonely how in your triumph over death nobody was here to greet you?” and she just looked at me funny and said “what do you mean? The whole world was here, waiting”. Some people, I tell you.

[rattsnott]

[Link to tweet]