ratsvshumans

[ratsvshumans]

overall ..

this year definitely knocked me off of my already wobbly balance. this time in lockdown has given me the chance to not only work on my mental health, but consider my practise in interesting new ways. i haven’t been nearly as productive as i would like to be going forward- this is something i endeavour to change in my second year. 

however, the chance to exercise adaptability and learn new things that fit with the new world we live in has been invaluable. the lessons i have learnt about the ways i work best and the processes i connect with will no doubt inform my practise for years to come. even though this global landscape is scary and overwhelming, it is facilitating learning- about community, connectivity, and our interwoven histories.

i am very proud of what i have produced for this module. it is not my best work, but it was my best under the given circumstances. this project has paved the way for me to explore many new exciting areas in my practise, and taught me that art practise and life are one and the same. i look forward to coming back to work feeling engaged, motivated and passionate. 

[ratsvshumans]

webpage/pixel quilt

here are photos of the webpage in each stage of development:

-just basic grid established, using duplicate games as placeholders

-same as above but showing text

-experimenting with images of my work as placeholders, and image of my palm as background

-experimenting with isopod graveyard image as background

-no more placeholders! all games and samplers in place

-finished webpage, with final background and all games/samplers in place. 

i wanted to use a grid layout as a reference to the grids i have worked with throughout the project- also referring to quilt squares, and the final nature of this work as a ‘pixel quilt’. pixel quilt is the title for obvious reasons- it is a quilt, made with love, labour and time, created digitally from pixels, within the confines of digital quilt squares. 

the final background image is a close up of a blanket my mum knitted for my partner and i when we first moved in together. it is one of my most precious possessions and it will stay with me forever; i felt this symbol of family, connectedness and love was a fitting background for this body of work. 

my partner let me use a page on his website in order to make this, as i do not have a website of my own set up yet. the link to the web page is here:

https://www.browniecove.com/pixelquilt

all of the games can be played on the webpage, or alternatively can be played separately on my itch.io page:

https://top5kittens.itch.io/

the links to each individual game are also in their respective blog posts. 

[ratsvshumans]

sampler 4

this image was inspired by another guernsey/gansey, that i found here: https://seadogs.co.uk/traditional-cornish-sweaters/

i wanted to try and recreate a texture similar to knitting, to give another dimension to this sampler. it’s interesting to experiment and see how close i can get to something digital that looks physically soft, in the simplest way possible. 

[ratsvshumans]

sampler 3

this design was inspired by this cornish knit frock, or a guernsey or gansey, that i found on this blog: https://tomofholland.com/2011/10/07/my-cornish-knit-frock/

i took inspiration for the colours from the local landscapes, especially moorland. these dye colours would also be easy to produce with plant material.

[ratsvshumans]

sampler 2

this image was inspired by this jumper, again from the V&A article: https://www.vam.ac.uk/articles/british-knitting-traditions , made in Fair Isle in Scotland from Shetland wool.

i have adapted the designs and colours to my limitations in bitsy, where these images were created as well as the games. i have tried to represent the patterns as well as possible, and chosen colours that not only relate to the original jumper, but all colours of wool that were traditionally used. 

[ratsvshumans]

sampler 1

i have decided to call these images “samplers” after embroidery samplers, as they are small interpretations of traditional british knitting patterns, and the name seems appropriate. 

this image is based on a jumper i found in an article on the V&A website: https://www.vam.ac.uk/articles/british-knitting-traditions 

this jumper takes inspiration from Guernsey and Aran knitting designs. i wanted to highlight knitting traditions from around the UK as i see garments like jumpers as protective clothing. clothing made for the purpose of keeping you warm and safe from the elements, made from a labour intensive, loving process. this speaks to the ideas behind this whole project, and i felt it was a fitting link not only to my heritage, but to the importance of care as a pillar of society. 

[ratsvshumans]

comfortable thoughts

LINK TO PLAY GAME: https://top5kittens.itch.io/comfortable-thoughts

for the last game in this project, i wanted to create something comforting and reassuring, to reflect the recent personal growth i have accomplished. i decided to work with some of my favourite colours- colours that i like to look at, that make me feel energised and nice. again, i worked with image to bitsy to create the background, for this one i used a zoomed in photograph of a piece of knitting. i adjusted the brightness and colours in order to get the effect i wanted- the result of this is the darker looking wavy areas happening behind the tiles i have manually input. 

over the top of this, i interpreted classic hand sewing stitches into pixels as a reference to the part textiles played in my childhood. my mum had loads of books on sewing and different embroidery techniques, and she would teach me how to sew them by hand and sometimes on her sewing machine. i loved this time with her and i treasure being taught how to sew at a young age. it is something that has obviously influenced my practise now as well as my life in general. 

for the sprites and text, i just wanted to have some nice, unthreatening, round blobby shapes saying positive reminders/affirmations/intentions. i thought of things i liked to do that made me feel calm and present, like taking a bath, or watering my plants. things that are perhaps quite simple and stereotyped as “self care”, but i didn’t want to let that taint my decisions when making this, i just wanted to be true to myself. the player’s avatar is reminiscent of a simplified textile pattern- i made this choice as i wanted the thoughts to feel wrapped up in a blanket, with the player merely part of the background, not experiencing the thoughts as an outside force. 

i wanted to make something that was just for myself as a way to round off this project. after spending my time analysing and subverting my thoughts, i wanted to simply have nice ones, and put them in a world that was perfect for me. i like working instinctually like this, doing what seems comfy and true to myself.  

[ratsvshumans]

creatures under pressure

LINK TO PLAY GAME: https://top5kittens.itch.io/creatures-under-pressure

as you can tell, this game came out of my new interest in isopods and deep sea creatures. i wanted to make a sort of fictional game, imagining the thoughts of alien creatures, and this was the perfect subject material. 

i used another tool for this game, called image to bitsy: https://ruin.itch.io/image-to-bitsy - this tool lets you import any image and turn it into the background of a bitsy game. i drew a picture of some isopods and used that as the base of the game. 

to write the text, i came up with phrases giant isopods could be thinking or perhaps repeating to themselves as they traverse the deep ocean. i then imagined what those phrases would sound like if spoken in a pressurised environment such as the bottom of the sea. here is documentation of that process along with some research notes:

the phrase about their last meal relates to how giant isopods can last up to five years without food. upon finding a food source, they can gorge themselves to the point of being unable to move. the ‘clones spew out of me’ line relates to their young, called mancae, who hatch as tiny replicas of their parents. ‘pulled up for the cracking’ refers to a disturbing video i watched of a sushi chef and his cameraman showing a giant isopod to the Los Angeles public, before cracking its exoskeleton and cooking it in fried rice. 

i wanted the environment of this game to be minimal and dark, mimicking the habitat of the giant isopod. i love the grainy effect of the background generated from my drawing, it feels like there is only partial light and figures are hard to make out. 

i feel the solitary and un-picky (detritivore) nature of these animals has a synergy with the themes of this project. i find the idea of such an alien environment (deep ocean) on our planet fascinating, and the bleakness of it only appeals to me more. this sense of desolation combined with life’s determination to flourish in the face of any adverse condition inspires me to no end, and i feel it is the attitude that my practise is centred around.

[ratsvshumans]

dreaming

LINK TO PLAY GAME: https://top5kittens.itch.io/dreaming

at this point in the project it was obvious the work was autobiographical- about what i was feeling at the time of making. during this period, and at regular points in my life, my dreams seemed real, present and confusing in my waking life. i was dreaming of friends i hadn’t seen in a long time, putting me in situations that made me uncomfortable; fights that grew in my waking subconscious were coming to fruition at night. at times it would be hard to let go of these thoughts and i would spend the day, maybe even for days after, with the dream looping in my head, in a foggy sort of way.

taking inspiration from this situation, i wanted to create a world that felt confusing and busy, similar to trying to decipher dreams once awake. again i used the rat as a sort of self insert; creating the notion of a human within something inhuman. i chose a muted colour palette as this spoke to the hazy nature of memories, especially those of dreams.

in keeping with this confused theme, i decided to work with the Open AI GPT-2 to produce the text, with the help of my partner and his collaborator. 

the AI works by entering a ‘prefix’- in the photo above, the example prefix is “how can i forgive myself”. this gives the AI something to work from; using this, it generates up to a couple of paragraphs of semi related, but sometimes random, text. my prefixes were sometimes small sentences related to my own dreams, but sometimes just singular words to give the AI more creative control. there are other aspects to using this AI, such as increasing the length of the generated text and adjusting how random the results are, but i didn’t use any of these for what i needed. 

i loved the text i was getting from the AI- it was perfectly random and unsure of itself, writing without meaning. i wanted the player to feel as overwhelmed and disorientated as possible within the limits of bitsy. to achieve this, i made a large number of sprites (tiles that show a text box once walked into) all saying lines of varying lengths from the AI text. all of the mauve/purple shapes you see in the game are sprites. 

this game was by far the most labour intensive to make and took me the longest, but i am so pleased with the result. the effect of the AI text in a non-linear digital environment is disconcerting- it feels like reading through someone else’s thoughts; like a trash pile of the internet. 

[ratsvshumans]

head garden

LINK TO PLAY GAME: https://top5kittens.itch.io/head-garden-sketch

making this game was when i started to realise the direction i wanted to take this work in. i edited writing i had done while having a slight breakdown, and re-contextualised it in a garden, once again using the rat as the character the player controls.

this process was very cathartic, and helped me break the stigma i felt around the thoughts that come into my head. it was interesting to juxtapose the words with the environment i created and see the effect this had on both elements. i think that when put in an open seeming space, the thoughts have less weight, and therefore are easier to move past. this felt like a metaphor for what i have to do in my own head- allow thoughts to pass me by sometimes. 

the visuals of this game were inspired by a picture i drew for my partner some time ago, a speculative future of our cabin by a lake, surrounded by trees with a dog and a cat. 

[ratsvshumans]

rat game

LINK TO PLAY GAME: https://top5kittens.itch.io/rat 

MOVE WITH ARROW KEYS, CLICK ON GAME OR REFRESH PAGE IF NOT RESPONDING

this was the first game (i am calling them games to be succinct- they are interactive experiences) i made for this project, originally made as a proof of concept for my pre-lockdown proposal. 

i have been taking in pixel art in some form since i was very young, and it has always been something that intrigued me with its simplicity. i love how notions of shapes and textures can create something solid and real in the mind of the viewer. this game was an opportunity for me to experiment with this notional style, and work with some basic coding and animation. 

in this game, i wanted to explore language breakdown and the experience of being in a world that isn’t made for you. like being a tourist, but took to extremes- instead of being in a non english speaking country, you are a rat who reads in lines and dots. 

i wanted to relate this experience to that of having poor mental health. for example, feeling disgusting and unable to communicate yourself properly. this is something i feel semi regularly, and i felt this was a good way to get the feeling across.

this game has hints of narrative, as my original proposal was semi fictional/speculative. in the third area of the game, the rat comes across a human body- the message was meant to be that the rat feeds on the human, and then the game would loop. with every loop, the rat would understand more english, and perhaps start sprouting limbs. learning by.. becoming?

this is the only of these games that has more than one ‘room’, as it was the only one i intended to make into something bigger. i still intend to do this, but i didn’t feel it was necessary for the nature of this project. 

[ratsvshumans]

Staying With The Trouble by Donna Haraway

i have not read this book myself, but Sam (my partner) has, and we have been discussing it together.

the overall point Haraway makes is based on companionship. “staying with the trouble” talks to living in the present- not imaging any kind of future, just making the best of the present moment. instead of catastrophising about the state of the world, we need to form connections with other humans and animals, be companions with everyone we share the world with. 

“Staying with the trouble requires making oddkin; that is, we require each other in unexpected collaborations and combinations, in hot compost piles.”

Haraway uses the image of the cat’s cradle- a temporary structure, relying equally on everyone involved. connections with other beings are a momentary cat’s cradle, a picture made from time spent together. these strings are in a state of continual weaving, between everyone they encounter. 

Multispecies Cat’s Cradle by Nasser Mufti, 2011

(book citation: Haraway, D., 2016. Staying With The Trouble. Durham: Duke University Press. )

[ratsvshumans]

in a tutorial with Anti, she noted how it was interesting how working in bitsy is working in an already established structure- the boundaries are set out for me. we discussed how this was very different to the gestural approach to putting pain on a canvas, for example. we then drew parallels between this way of working and language- because what is writing if not working within an established structure? of course language can be played around with, but at face value, this comparison tracks. 

i think i have been drawn to working in this formulaic way as a result of my mental health- i have found it hard to think of organic things existing on their own without any safety net to begin with. 

[ratsvshumans]

other textual works by Anni Albers

(Studies made on the typewriter n.d., typewriter printing in black ink on paper mounted on board 27x16.8)

(Untitled c.1981, felt tipped pen on paper 14x15)

this one ^ is so asemic 

[ratsvshumans]

Anni Albers and textiles as language

when Anni Albers was a teacher at Black Mountain College, ‘typewriter studies’ were a part of her curriculum. she made pieces of work on typewriters herself, which i find very visually similar to some of my bitsy work:

(studies made on the typewriter n.d. Typewriter printing in blue ink on paper mounted on board 27x16.8, Anni Albers)

(untitled, bitsy drawing, Scarlet Winter, 2020)

in the Tate book on Anni Albers, in the section “The Language of Threads” by Maria Müller-Schareck, the relationship between textiles and text is explained further:

“Horizontals and verticals and the resulting ‘gridded space’ correspond to the interplay of warp and weft at the loom”

(on Albers)”With great enthusiasm she talked repeatedly about the relationships between verbal and non-verbal communication, between text and textile. In 1965, for example, she described how woven textiles, along with cave paintings, were among the earliest examples of a ‘direct, formative communication’”

“..we are caught in the web of words, stories are yarns to be spun, words are woven, thoughts fray or have to be unravelled like threads.”

in this section, i also learned the etymology of the word text- it is derived from the Latin “textus”, which means ‘woven’. 

(book reference: Coxon, A., Fer, B. and Müller-Schareck, M., 2018. Anni Albers. 1st ed. London: Tate, p.137. )

[ratsvshumans]

detritivore: an animal which feeds on dead organic material, especially plant detritus.

[ratsvshumans]

ecosystems/deep sea creatures

at this point in the project, i started to learn about closed ecosystems and terrariums through youtube videos and wikipedia articles. this started off as just something interesting to watch in the evening, but grew into a real fascination. i love the symbiotic nature of ecosystems- everything is relying on each other, everything has a relationship with everything else. this felt relevant in as much as i found this concept calming- the thought that there are so many tiny creatures, that, as far as i know, could be having similar thoughts to me. 

i especially took an interest in isopods, more commonly known as woodlice. i have fond childhood memories of these bugs, as they never spooked me in the way spiders or other insects did. i have always thought their curved bodies seem friendly and relatable, for some reason. during this project/lockdown, my partner and i moved into a house together, and this brought feelings of domesticity and cosiness. there are also millions of woodlice in our tiny garden, as well as their little graveyard. 

this interest in smaller isopods led me to larger ones- giant isopods, affected by deep sea gigantism. this is a phenomena where animals who live close to the cold, dark, barren bottom of the ocean grow far bigger than they would be normally, in an attempt to increase their chances of survival. i was fascinated by these prehistoric looking creatures, and felt an affinity with their bottom feeder lifestyle. i could imaging them feeling quite sorry for themselves, too.