rare-and-sweet-as-cherry-wine

[rare-and-sweet-as-cherry-wine]

Loving you

Loving you was the easiest thing I could have done but the same can not be said about me

You love boys and I am one but you do not see me as one

I can not ask you to see me as a boy because I am not one

I am everything and nothing but you see me as a girl and I can not ask you too see me as anything else

Loving you was so easy that I can do it again and again and again and it will never turn into a chore

You can never love me and it is okay

[rare-and-sweet-as-cherry-wine]

I love you

I love you in a way that is not allowed

I hide hand holding in playful strength tests

I hide cuddling in the way I drape over anyone who would allow it

I hide sweet words in the way I compliment anyone

I hide staring at you in the way I space out

I hide the way I’ve fallen for you with treating you the way I do all others

My flirts can’t be differentiated from all my other words

I love you in a way so unclear others will never know how I truly feel

[rare-and-sweet-as-cherry-wine]

The forest floor

I was following the stars north

When I tripped over your legs

The forest bed was your own

I stumbled and you laughed

You laid there on the moss

Looking at me, just watching

I stared back, taking in your form

You beckoned me over with a wave

I didn’t hesitate to walk towards you

You patted the space next to you

I sat down without a question

You opened your arms to let me in

I easily fell into them willingly

You ran your hands through my hair

Moss and dirt surrounded us

I did not notice, I did not care

All thoughts of going home left

You are home, your arms are home

Here is where I will stay

Here is where I will sleep

[rare-and-sweet-as-cherry-wine]

Eyes of whiskey

Hair of honey

Skin the color of aged book pages

Nicks and marks from childhood falls

Fingertips ripped from anxiety

The scent of the forest you care for

Soft good nights

Sweet good mornings

All the things I love about you

[rare-and-sweet-as-cherry-wine]

If I was Icarus and you, my love, the sun

I would gladly strap wax wings to my back and fly until I burn

If I was able to hold you one last time I would gladly fall from the sky and laugh as I do so

I would gladly take the chance of being claimed by Thanatos if it meant I could be sun kissed

[rare-and-sweet-as-cherry-wine]

Icarus’s fall

He flies as fast as he can higher and higher into the air.

He distantly hears his father calling for him on the ground, yelling “Don’t go too high!”

But the boy didn’t listen to his fathers warnings as he only focused on the wind and warmth surrounding him.

He didn’t even notice as his wings became a thick liquid.

For a moment Icurus was above the clouds and he couldn’t breathe but he rejoiced in the feeling.

Time seemed to stop for a moment and it was peaceful.

He looked to the sky to see the sun just out of his reach.

He reached anyways but grabbed nothing but the clouds as time sped up and he fell.

As he fell from the sky Icurus laughed.

His skin was burnt by the blistering sun but he laughed.

He threw his head back with pure excitement as he fell closer and closer to the ground.

His fiery red hair whipped around his head, mixing in with the sunset.

His forest green eyes no longer bull from an aching mind caused by being trapped on Crete.

He felt the phantom feeling of wings on his back as he threw his arms out to feel more wind.

He didn’t mind the burning feeling of wax as it dripped down his back, his shoulders, his arms and his chest.

He was flying and he was free.

But as he looked back to the quickly fading stars and sun he started to slowly come to a panic.

Not for the impact that would happen sooner rather than later with the icy blue water below him, but for this feeling to go away.

He needed to go back to the sun.

That’s where he truly feels he belongs.

With the sun.

At the top of the universe even as it sets.

As he reaches closer and closer to the water below he admires the sunset for it was the most beautiful one he has ever laid his eyes upon.

But he only gets to admire Apollo’s work of beauty for a moment.

As his back hits the water he feels fire running through his veins, a painful contrast with the freezing cold water surrounding him, and his eyes squeeze shut as the world fades to black.

When he comes back into consciousness his eyes are still closed but he isn’t in the water anymore.

He is floating or maybe even being held.

He doesn’t feel pain or any discomfort and he wonders “is this what death is?” If it is then death isn’t cold or scary for this is warm and comforting.

He feels a light touch to his forehead as if the person touching and holding him fears he is going to break.

He hears the faint whisper of someone calling out to him.

Welcoming him home.

Telling him that he is loved.

And he truly does feel at home.

He truly feels loved.

“Welcome home Icarus” the voice whispers.

“The sun adores you” the voice seems to remind him.

And he smiles as he opens his forest green eyes to be met with the sun god himself.

____

Apollo sits above the clouds watching on with a frown.

He watched as one of his favorite mortals flys through the sky with wax wings.

He watches as Icurus flies closer and closer knowing full well that this boy was going to be burnt.

Apollo watched as the mortal flew so high he almost seemed to touch him.

He flew through the clouds as he went higher and higher and higher.

He saw the boy reach out and Apollo wanted to reach back.

He wanted so dearly to grab Icarus out of the sky and hold him close for he has grown fond of the child.

But it was not allowed for even the gods had rules they have to obey.

Apollo watched on with pity as Icarus flew to close and burned.

Even though Apollo was the god of the sun he held no power over how hot it got even as the sun set.

He was saddened knowing that he hurt his little mortal, intentionally or not.

He waited for the fearful screams to tumble out of Icarus’ mouth.

The god waited for the pleading of the child to begin.

For the child to want to be saved by someone, anyone.

He waited for a few seconds with his hands tightly gripping onto his robes, he could not hide his worry or his concern as the emotions danced across his face, he looked down to the child waiting for him to call out for his father or even to Apollo himself.

But then the most joyful laugh escaped the mouth of the child.

Apollo wonders if the boy had gone mad.

It was so loud and carefree that the god could have sworn it shook him to his very core.

For how could this little mortal be laughing with burnt skin and melted wings.

Hot wax dripped down Icurus’ body as he fell.

The god watched on, his brows knitted tightly together with curiosity, as the boy threw his head back and laughed.

His arms spread out as if they were his wings instead of the mess of wax that clings to his skin as it hardens and cools.

The wings were beautiful but not as beautiful as the sunset that swarmed Icurus.

If this was going to be his last Apollo decided the child deserved the most beautiful one yet.

His red hair flew in the wind and his green eyes crinkled with his face from the smile that spread from ear to ear.

But as soon as the joy started it was ripped away as reality soon sunk in.

Apollo watched as his favorite fell further and further away.

Apollo watched as his favorite was claimed by Poseidon in the icy blue water.

Apollo wonders if Icarus likes the cold floating feeling Poseidon’s oceans provide or if he’d prefer the unbearably hot soaring he could promise him.

Apollo thinks back to only seconds prior as he watched as Icarus smiled and laughed and celebrated being in the sky and decided he belonged with him.

He swooped down entering Poseidon’s domain to retrieve the mortal.

He dismissed Thanatos from his job of collecting the now dead mortal and picked up the child, holding him close to his chest to keep him warm and secure.

The god flies back up to his own domain, Icarus in tow, wondering how he will hide him from Zeus for he must already know of Apollo’s plans.

He gives Icarus wings, real wings that won’t melt if he gets too close.

They are beautiful and they are the same color as the sun set he fell from.

He also takes away the sun burn allowing for the child skin to turn back from a sickly red to an un damaged olive tone.

Apollo holds Icarus and watches on with doting eyes as the child starts to stir.

He pushes his red hair out of his face and kisses his forehead as he waits for those forest green eyes he has learned to adore to open.

Apollo whispers for Icarus to wake up calling out to him with what he hopes is a soothing voice, welcoming him home.

The god whispers sweet nothings into the child’s ear, telling him that he is loved.

“Welcome home Icarus” Apollo whispers again and the boy seems to notice it this time.

“The sun adores you” Apollo chose to remind him because he truly does adore this human child.

And Icarus smiles back at the god, eyes now open.

And Apollo thinks “Maybe fatherhood won’t be that bad.”

[rare-and-sweet-as-cherry-wine]

I wish you are as smitten as I am with you my dear

I hope you think of me at least half the amount of time I spend thinking of you

Do you see me staring at you?

Can you tell that I’m thinking of what it would be like to hold you?

My dear?

What do you think of me for I think of you as the stars the sun the moon the very ground I walk upon

You are my everything without even knowing it

When I started to really notice you’re little quirks

When I see you smile

When I hear you laugh

When I feel your warmth

When I listen to your voice

When I became needy of your attention

When I became jealous

I knew that I was screwed 

[rare-and-sweet-as-cherry-wine]

The moment I laid my eyes on her I knew I was completely and utterly screwed

The moment I saw her smile for the first time I knew there was no turning back

The moment I gave her a birthday gift and her eyes shined with such joy I knew I was in deep

The moment she caught my eye with just her presence I knew that I was in love with a girl I just met like some kid from a Disney movie 

[rare-and-sweet-as-cherry-wine]

I barley know you and yet you make me want to wake up

I barley know you and yet hearing your voice calms me

I barley know you and yet seeing you can make me feel so much better

I barley know you and yet the way your eyes shine when you’re excited makes me stop and stare

I barley know you and yet the way you throw your head back with laughter makes me want to do the same

I barley know you and yet your eyes which are hidden away behind your round glasses fill me with absolute and pure delight

I barley know you and yet when you are gone my chest feels empty like something ripped my heart out

I barley know you and yet your brown hair brown eyes and brown skin makes me want to burst into flames as bright as your smile

I barley know you but I want to know more

I want to get lost in your voice as you tell me about your happiest times and what I can do to contribute to them

I want you to sooth my ears with your voice as you recount tails of your childhood

Tell me your worries tell me your fears tell me what fills you with sorrow tell me about each and every scar that marries your skin and mind tell me what makes you you

I will always listen