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sir that’s my emotional support song on repeat

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ANNOUNCER: Next up is 'the biggest heartbreak feel'; JAKE: This one is mine, boys; JULIEN: Bitch please.

“…Liam Fitzgerald.”

Liam: I don’t want it.

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@yay-cats9 i mean it’s maybe a long shot but my dad is a teacher and this is the text he sent me this morning. so idk dude but it’d be pretty hilarious if your teacher was in fact my dad

Dad Jokes

Me: *Carrying a Court of Mist and Fury*

Dad: Oh, is that Sarah J Maas’s new book!

Me: Yes!

Dad: Wow, they just keep getting bigger and bigger.

Dad:

Dad: I guess you could say they have more

Dad:

Dad: Maas

Me: *Kicks the wall*

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percy jackson audiobooks but they’re narrated by john mulaney

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one direction was right… she’s insecure

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my parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying

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mini edit 3 / ?? →  richard gansey iii

you will live because of glendower. someone else on the ley line is dying when they should not, and so you will live when you should not.

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u ever go take a piss at a party and as soon as u close the door u feel like ur in a different dimension

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…I’m yours and you’re mine, you’ve always been mine, and I have always, always belonged to you…

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I asked my boyfriend in Canada once, how he deals with polar bears because I was curious about what to do and he was like, just be calm, let them know you’re there, and give them space and they’ll usually just go away. 

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The thing about the “and they were roommates” girl is I bet she really did just say something truly wild or explosive that totally warranted the unbelieving “and they were roommates”

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Reblog and tag what you really have flowing thru your veins i have hot cocoa

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“we didnt start the fire” by billy joel but instead of pop culture references its iconic vine quotes

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not even Burt and all of his Bees could save me this time