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“‘What do you want in a man?’ A man who wants me more, I have realized that women always drown in their love and the men just swim.”

— Mandeq Ahmed, ‘ocean of tears’

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image description under the cut because this is a whole-ass 5 page comic. (sorry!)

happy pride. i drew this instead of things i should be doing. it was a good excuse to draw a lot of beautiful girls using references (found under the cut). it’s messy and bad, but i think the message gets across. i love being a lesbian because it helped me love myself more.

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strange bog girl makes a friend

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And just like that, May has already started. I am now seven months unemployed. At this point, I am just letting things be while still doing everything that I can.

I used to work as an administrative staff in a medical research. I figured it will be easy for me to transition after leaving Medicine (after three years) and finding work. I genuinely loved what I did. However, it came to the point where everything was too demanding. I was still able to do what is required of me but after finishing one thing, two things pop up. I knew I needed to leave and so I did.

I took up BS Biology majoring in Zoology during my undergraduate years, partly due to my love for Marine Sciences. It was the perfect program for me since Biology (Zoology) has interesting subjects for marine sciences and medicine. Hence, after leaving my job and taking a month of rest, I began exploring opportunities in the marine science field. I will be in a field I love , and a career I would love.

However, finding a job in marine science with just a degree in biology, some subjects in marine zoology, a brief stint as an administrative staff for a government-project research, and passion for marine conservation and science, would prove to be such a challenge. I have applied to jobs more than I can count, but only interviewed thrice, and none have been finalized. It's been rejection after rejection after rejection. They tell me it's because I don't have or lack the proper experience in the field. Everything is out of my control and feels so so sooo demoralizing.

Anyway, given all that difficulty, I'm now considering pursuing a Master's degree in Marine Science to learn more and gain more expertise and research experience. I'm still trying to wrap my head around studying again (quite literally, as studying is the main trigger for my MDD-SAD). School starts in September, application deadline is not until June so I still have a lot of time to prepare my documents and apply. I'll just continue applying to jobs in marine science, banking that my passion and skills and all that I have would relate to the job.

I feel like just getting to an MS program would help me a lot. But I need more experience in the field to do that. And to find the experience, I need to study about it. I'm at the point where I am at a loss, but this time is different, I'm completely stuck. I just don't have many options left, and I'm running out of time. I faced a lot of rejections lately that it's really hard to feel a bit optimistic about all this but I'll try, like I always do.

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james ralph??? Naging school idol ka na ba for someone?

james raphael** School Idol for someone? I don't know what you mean, Anon. If someone from school looked up to me, yes i can think of some. Pero if I became a school idol, no. I'm known for my personality back then, but not to the point na school idol.

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— Najwa Zebian, A Book of Healing

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