random-thoughts-thinking

[random-thoughts-thinking]

Darling?

Have I told you how beautiful you are?

There’s not a person in this world that has ever lived or will live that will be more beautiful than you.

Your beauty is your own and no matter how you change you are just as beautiful or more so than the day before.

Darling, I’m honestly convinced I love you to a point that I might just be on the brink of worshipping you.

I would get down on my knees, hold your hand ever so gently and sing you praises if that would make you as happy as it would make me.

Your humanity is beautiful, your very being down to your soul is. There is not a thing I can think of that I don’t like about you. I love you despite your flaws for it is your humanity.

I love the safety that you give me;

That as long as you are here I will be okay. For I will have you as you will have me.

[random-thoughts-thinking]

Dear Broken Boy,

You speak of the one who chips away at you again. Why do you stay with them? You’re afraid that they’ll die without you. Broken Boy I can understand. My Darling didn’t like living either. And though now she can live looking forward to a future with me. I fear that she will drop dead in a moment’s notice. That if I look away she will slip through my fingers just like that. Broken Boy. Won’t you please pull away? From the one who uses you like a crutch? From the one you admire so?

I’m sorry that I can’t make you feel better. That I can’t say the things I wish to. I fear being cut by you even though I would still reach out to hold you if you asked.

Maybe you are only broken in my eyes. I would hope so. Broken Boy, Should I leave you be? I know you have other people that reach their hands out to you. It needn’t be me.

I can come to terms with parting. I only hope that we don’t cross paths again after. For I would’ve grieved and accepted by then. And I wish not to grieve for you again.

[random-thoughts-thinking]

Broken Boy. I miss you. Not just the person you were. I miss the you in the present. Who you are now. I miss being by your side and being able to celebrate you. I miss seeing you smile. I miss seeing you. I miss your voice. Broken Boy I’m sorry I cannot heal you. I’m sorry that I can’t take your pain away. But Broken Boy could you come back to me? For just a day or a few hours. Without staring at your phone? Without comparing me to the friends you have now?

That is asking for too much. I’m sure it is to you. And that you will say I’m too much. Broken Boy. I miss you. I’m sorry that I do.

[random-thoughts-thinking]

Broken Boy why would you want to kill your past self? Why do you want to kill the boy I poured so much care into? Why do you hate him? Your flaws are what made you human. I have forgiven your mistakes as you have forgiven mine. Broken Boy why do you want to kill the boy I sat on the bench with so I could have a bit more time with him? Why do you wish to take away the boy who I went out of my way to spend time with despite his cracks. Even when those cracks have cut me I wouldn’t have regretted a single thing in hindsight. I would still reached out to hold you even if your broken pieces cut me again. How else would I piece you back together? You wouldn’t let me. I don’t think you want to be fixed because you’ll be broken again. Then, poor Broken Boy I can only offer my condolences. If I can’t stand beside you anymore, I can watch in the back of your audience as you play the main character in your tragedy. Most tragedies end in death don’t they? Then I’ll at least hope this performance is a long one.

[random-thoughts-thinking]

A Broken Boy. Who insists on biting the hand that tries to feed him, patch his wounds and play with him. But he runs to the one that screams at him before giving a treat after. A stupid Broken Boy that I can only watch fall into his misery. Even if I left a rope for him he’d keep his hands to himself, hugging himself refusing to let go and to take hold of that life line. And I might still shed tears for him. Grieving the boy he once was. Grieving for smiles of the boy who doesn’t smile anymore. Grieving for the boy I can’t save.

[random-thoughts-thinking]

“Honey”

I always hated honey. The sweetness of it was always too much. Too over whelming. I had to eat it when I had a sore throat and I would force it down with water.

But Honey your love is just as sweet as it is. The difference is that yours is mellow. It doesn’t overwhelm me or make me choke. It flusters the butterflies in my stomach and makes me smile at your words, your voice and simply your being.

[random-thoughts-thinking]

Darling you’re my best friend as well as the love of my life.

It is only you that I can tell my cruelest thoughts to. It is only you that can see my blackened heart and still love me. It is only you that I can show my cracks and scars to and only you that would love every part of me including them.

It is only you that has made me feel love strong enough that I would leap across a chasm to be with you. And if I were to fall between it you would jump in after me and we could free fall for the rest of eternity together.

[random-thoughts-thinking]

“You loving me is far more than I could ever ask for. Thank you for loving me darling.”

[random-thoughts-thinking]

“I know you don’t lie when you say you love me. It’s so easy to believe it when it comes from you darling.”

“Please don’t think you’re hard to love. My love for you comes as naturally as the wind’s breeze.”

[random-thoughts-thinking]

“I love you for your humanity. I love the soul that makes you, you. I love how human it is for you to be sad or happy.”

“Even if you change I will love you. For I have loved who you were in the past, I love you as you are now and I will love the person you become.”

[random-thoughts-thinking]

“I can show you my cracked pieces and you’ll trace your hand across them as if they were mended with gold.” And I can feel beautiful.

“You make me feel beautiful darling.”