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All that's left is the ghost of you

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😑😠😉 > My da2 team🥺

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looking away

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Reread the comics again...

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Every once in a while I remember the cosplayers in the opening credits of Merry Kissmas.

Zoom and enhance:

I'm not the one to find this, I learned about the cosplayers in Merry Kissmas from this post . The person who was Fenris in this screenshot also chimes in. I figured I'd at least try to track down the movie and take a cleaner screenshot. Tis the season and all.

Idk I might use it for art reference or something at some point. But for now, I had a laugh and y'all can too.

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some messy DA doodles i drew in the past days because i just can't get these games out of my head

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hightown mornings

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After all these years I'm still figuring out the first night.

Little by little new details keep coming up.

Yeah, originally it was a hard pill to swallow, and I had to break this episode into small bits to come to terms with it and find the right words. It left me with such an uneasy feeling back in the day...

Even now thinking too hard on Fenris's state messes me up. It's depressing.

So we have this moment which then evolves into this

Before the actual smut takes place...

Fenris kisses Hawke passionately. This entire scene is supposed to run on passion, yeah, but I don't really do well with passion. I sense something else.

Fenris came to Hawke specifically to fuck. This is not happening in the spur of the moment after he'd just killed Hadriana, he had the time to decide that he wanted this, wanted to give himself to Hawke.

Why?

Perhaps confronting his past tormentor made him reflect on everything that happened since he'd escaped. Perhaps it occured to him that if he gave himself belonged to Hawke Danarius wouldn't ever be able to get him. Perhaps, as Hawke was kissing him Fenris couldn't help thinking to himself "I want to be yours, no one else's". Couldn't help it and hated himself for it because that's definitely not how he wants to live, what he wants to be. And he must have had some very intense and frustrating thought processes running in his head, and they were driving him mad, and he tried to silence them and distracted himself by kissing Hawke harder and urging him to touch him more straightforwardly, to just take him already. Because Hawke is strong, reliable, warm and safe, and Fenris is a cat.

Thinking about how Hawke feels here is depressing as well. He doesn't really want what is about to happen, at least not like this. He is very empathic, and he feels that Fenris is still under a lot of stress. The encounter with Hadriana made a real mess of him, even if he tries to hide it. Their relationship has always been about emotional connection, not physical stuff. Hawke wants to hold Fenris and assure him that he'll be by his side if/when his enemies come for him again, that he won't ever have to fight them alone.

But right now Fenris wants something else, something immediate. If it makes him feel better, Hawke will give it to him, but he'll do his best to smooth the process.

Fenris's kisses are hard, urgent, desperate. Hawke wants to calm him down, so he tries to counter that aggressive energy with slow soft kisses, caressing his skin and stroking his hair. And there's more nuzzling than actual kissing. He tries to smile and in a low soothing voice asks Fenris to slow down, assuring him that there's no need to rush because they have all the time in the world. They are free to do whatever they want, however they want, for as long as they want.

This helps a little, and Fenris doesn't feel so desperate anymore. Hawke is pretty good at grounding him. Hawke kisses him again, then asks to wait while he stands up to retrieve a bottle of oil from the armoir.

It doesn't really matter but I gotta put it somewhere. The bottle is fancy, of Orlesian make, full and previously unopened. A memento of the past. Sometime after the expedition when he could afford to bye things just for the heck of it, Hawke saw it at the Blooming rose stand during a quest, recognised the brand, bought it, and it remained locked away as a fond memory.

When Hawke rejoins Fenris on the bed, he looks him in the eye and whispers I care about you, because sometimes it feels like Fenris does not seriously consider it and he must know. And Hawke's got to talk about feelings before getting on with physical activities

And I guess this is it.

Then they finally get to the real smut part.

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It's been a long time since the last time I used Tumblr, and the only remarkable thing I've done in these months is that I started and finished playing Dragon Age 2, which is now my favorite Dragon Age game AND my current brainrot so I'll be drawing a lot of it during the holidays.

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good lord

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close enough. welcome back 2012

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Private investigator au where Fenris and Hawke are both hired to follow each other

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DA2 fam go to the beach-each

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Me too Fenny me too

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da2 babies

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this is a never ending process after all. I thought i was done with the first night, but no, all of a sudden another piece fell into place.

Now that the stressful and urgent part is over and Hawke can think clearly again, he remembers something important and figures that now is a good time for it. Fitting. He jumps away from Fenris to get out of the bed.

Fenris is surprised and a little worried, because why is Hawke moving away all of a sudden? Where is he going now? He was touching Fenris with so much care a minute ago and made him feel so treasured (wish I could say "feel loved" but could Fenris actually know the difference?), and he wants Hawke to hold him some more, wants to soak in his safe engulfing warmth, but Hawke is standing up and heads off somewhere on wobbly legs... Fenris hopes he hasn't done anything wrong He is so full of anxiety I want to cry

Hawke moves to the armoir again, takes out a blanket and something else, returns to bed, puts the folded blanket down for now, then moves even closer to Fenris which makes him feel relief .

Hawke smiles shyly as he holds out his hand and shows Fenris the red favour.

I want you to have it.

Fenris eyes the item wonderingly and asks what it is.

Hawke replies:

A reminder. Don't ever forget that I'm here.

Fenris can't say anything because his mind is still hazy but his heart is beating faster, and he isn't sure what's happening, and he's sleepy, but he must say/do something.

With one shaky hand he takes the ribbon, and brings the other to touch it almost reverently because, holy shit, a GIFT??. He inspects it for a few seconds, then carefully places it on top of his right hand and holds it out to Hawke, suggesting that he tie it for him. Hawke beams at that and gently ties the scarf around Fenris's wrist in a loose knot, taking the opportunity to caress Fenris's fingers.

Fenris, watching Hawke tie the scarf with a focused expression, marvels at an unusual feeling that spreads in his chest. A complete lack of fear. He has never felt so relaxed, so at peace.

None of them says anything, neither has the words nor strength for it. Hawke only leans in to kiss Fenris on the nose again because of course (I think Fenris suspects now that Hawke is enamoured with his nose. Probably finds it amusing).

Hawke finally reaches for the blanket, spreads it out, lowers himself on his favored (right) side of the bed and covers them both. He stretches out his left arm, gesturing an invitation for Fenris to move closer if he wants to.

Fenris readily accepts and snuggles in.

There. NOW they can finally cuddle and go to sleep until Fenris wakes up.

I realise that I'm probably overdoing the I'm here thing, but I can't help myself. My brain decided that this is officially their secret key phrase from their very own love language. It can't be undone now.

And just as I typed all this it occured to me that maybe that overwhelming feeling of safety and peace was the trigger that made Fenris remember his past - the time with his family? Children feel most safe with their loving family, right? fml

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Galaxy con Columbus photo dump 💗💗