ramblesandrambling

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I’m not really on tumblr anymore, but I had to say this to someone

We all knew the world was going downhill. But now it all feels imminent

I’m not angry. I’m hurt and scared

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Sigh. Decided not to respond directly to a post because I’m a damn adult and don’t want to get into a fight with an obvious teenager, but…

Protest is great. Especially creative protest. But make sure it’s purposeful y’all. Are you protesting to help people or to get into a dick measuring contest with authority to prove how cool you are?

Please ask yourself that before you make things needlessly worse for everyone around you

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It’s not autumn until you bring out the family trebuchet.

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Let sleeping piggies lie

Get my guinea pig stickers here!

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I think about this tweet all the time because they would've been SO powerful...

Like Brendan IS the lovable "oaf" superhero, and Sandra IS the no-nonsense, competitive journalist. The VISION:

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Of interest to my U.S. friends... You're registered, right? You're extra double sure, right? You checked?

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not only are there no bad languages there are also no bad or annoying dialects

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@goodomensafterdark

Doing some home renovations and decided to leave hidden treasures in the walls!

Mwahahahahah!

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The Suitor (fanart recreation of JC Leyendecker’s “Easter” from 1934)

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[image description: a tweet by user @indigenousAI saying

“fun fact: as a DV survivor i cannot register to vote because doing so makes my address public. anyone who is fleeing or hiding from an abuser is automatically disenfranchised from the political process and this is a feature, not a bug”]

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everybody is drooling for the blond guy from dungeon meshi. that guy is 100% real and I know like six of him, what you are looking for is a marine biologist

1. spends a long amount of time doing something weird far away from society

2. will not stop talking about their animal

3. has definitely eaten their animal and has strong opinions on how to cook it best

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commission for @ske1th of their grilled cheese wizard, who can only cast a grilled cheese-conjuring spell & has a teleporting grilled cheese stand (inspired by this)

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Holy shit, oh my god! 50 of them??

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"nothing is real atoms never touch each other youve never touched anything in your life" ok. well when i pet my dog he is soft and when he licks my hand it is wet and that is far more real to me than whatevers going on at an atomic level

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This idiot is fireproof when he remembers.

(Requested art.)

(We were robbed of cCrowley - falling out of the Bentley- face first, bum up- then jerking himself up- spinning around and facing Aziraphale and co. as if he hadn’t.)

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The Importance of Mary Sue

When I was in Ninth Grade, I won a thing.  

That thing, in particular, was a thirty dollar Barnes & Noble gift certificate.  I was still too young for a part-time job, so I didn’t have this kind of spending cash on me, ever.  I felt like a god.

Drunk with power, I fancy-stepped my way to my local B&N.  I was ready to choose new books based solely on the most important of qualities…BADASS COVER ART.  I walked away with a handful of paperbacks, most of which were horrible (I’m looking at you, Man-Kzin Wars III) or simply forgettable.  

One book did not disappoint.  I fell down the rabbit hole into a series that proved to be as badass as the cover art promised (Again, Man-Kzin Wars III, way to drop the ball on that one).  With more than a dozen books in the series, I devoured them.  I bought cassette tapes of ballads sung by bards in the stories.  And the characters.  Oh, the characters.  I loved them.  Gryphons, mages, but most importantly, lots of women.  Different kinds of women.  So many amazing women.  I looked up to them, wrote bad fiction that lifted entire portions of dialogue and character descriptions, dreamed of writing something that the author would include in an anthology.

This year I decided in a fit of nostalgia to revisit the books I loved so damn much.  I wanted to reconnect with my old friends…

…and I found myself facing Mary Sues.  Lots of them.  Perfect, perfect, perfect.  A fantasy world full of Anakin Skywalkers and Nancy Drews and Wesley Crushers.  I felt crushed.  I had remembered such complex, deep characters and didn’t see those women in front of me at all anymore.  Where were those strong women who kept me safe through the worst four years of my life?

Which led me to an important realization as I soldiered on through book after book.  That’s why I needed them.  Because they were Mary Sues.  These books were not written to draw my attention to all the ugly bumps and whiskers of the real world.  They were somewhere to hide.  I was painfully aware that I was being judged by my peers and adults and found lacking.  I was a fuckup.  And sometimes a fuckup needs to feel like a Mary Sue.  As an adult, these characters felt a little thin because they lacked the real world knowledge I, as an adult, had learned and earned.  But that’s the thing…these books weren’t FOR this current version of myself.   Who I am now doesn’t need a flawless hero because I’m comfortable with the idea that valuable people are also flawed.

There is a reason that most fanfiction authors, specifically girls, start with a Mary Sue.  It’s because girls are taught that they are never enough.  You can’t be too loud, too quiet, too smart, too stupid.  You can’t ask too many questions or know too many answers.  No one is flocking to you for advice.  Then something wonderful happens.  The girl who was told she’s stupid finds out that she can be a better wizard than Albus Dumbledore.  And that is something very important.  Terrible at sports?  You’re a warrior who does backflips and Legolas thinks you’re THE BEST.   No friends?  You get a standing ovation from Han Solo and the entire Rebel Alliance when you crash-land safely on Hoth after blowing up the Super Double Death Star.  It’s all about you.  Everyone in your favorite universe is TOTALLY ALL ABOUT YOU.

I started writing fanfiction the way most girls did, by re-inventing themselves.  

Mary Sues exist because children who are told they’re nothing want to be everything.  

As a girl, being “selfish” was the worst thing you could be.  Now you live in Narnia and Prince Caspian just proposed marriage to you.  Why?  Your SELF is what saved everyone from that sea serpent.  Plus your hair looks totally great braided like that.

In time, hopefully, these hardworking fanfiction authors realize that it’s okay to be somewhere in the middle and their characters adjust to respond to that.  As people grow and learn, characters grow and learn.  Turns out your Elven Mage is more interesting if he isn’t also the best swordsman in the kingdom.  Not everyone needs to be hopelessly in love with your Queen for her to be a great ruler.  There are all kinds of ways for people to start owning who they are, and embracing the things that make them so beautifully weird and complicated.

Personally, though, I think it’s a lot more fun learning how to trust yourself and others if you all happen to be riding dragons.