ralphidreamer - Tumblr blog

[ralphidreamer]

Trying to sell handmade crafts in this economy is so. Like. Hey guys I know we're all broke as fuck but do you want my silly little things. I'm very good at it. For the time it takes to make them + skill + materials it's gonna be 30$ per silly little thing. But also shipping costs 12$ for reasons outside my control so it's actually 42$ now. Sorry. No I really can't charge less than that. Yeah I know. Ok. Bye

[ralphidreamer]

learning that people want you in their lives is a skill you can develop if it does not come naturally

[ralphidreamer]

moonlit tea under mid-autumn skies 🌕✨

(a tad belated but happy mid-autumn! here’s a yummy mooncake from me to you 🥮)

[ralphidreamer]

Growing up is actually just enjoying the exact same things you enjoyed at 14 years old, but in a more gay way

[ralphidreamer]

they should invent a hobby that doesn't require potentially destroying your wrists

[ralphidreamer]

"Sol and Spica: An Anxious Student's Guide to Finding Life in the Universe"

Aka "I was told I could do whatever I wanted for this class assignment as long as it related to astrobiology, and I got a little silly with it." I am so tired. Please enjoy.

[ralphidreamer]

"kill them with kindness" WRONG. chair attack 🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑🪑

[ralphidreamer]

this is amazing 🐈 ♥️♥️

[ralphidreamer]

what the hell is my cinderaces problem

[ralphidreamer]

feels like im always recovering. when do i get to live

[ralphidreamer]

the biggest questions detective pikachu answered

no one but professional trainers has a full team of 6 in the pokemon universe because it would be a fucking gigantic hassle to deal with 6 animals, let alone different types that need different things

some people don’t evolve their pokemon because imagine having a fucking cat and then you can choose to make the cat five times as big and strong. would you do this if you weren’t battling.

[ralphidreamer]

Jobs don’t always limit the skills you learn to the job itself. For instance, when I worked at Red Robin, they’d offer 30 minutes for an unpaid lunch, or 15 if you wanted to get paid the whole time. If you think that’s extremely shitty join the club.

As a result of wanting money I got really good at eating quickly so I could use my break to read or relax. I’ve always been a fast eater but when I worked there I learned how to eat an entire burger and fries in under five minute while keeping up a conversation. This is not advisable for good digestion, eat slow and chew your food.

There’s a balance to not talking with your mouth full and eating extremely quickly and it was a regularly used skill for years. When I worked at a sex shop I bragged about it once to a coworker.

She watched me with a timer going after I told her about it and we got burgers. I chatted with her the whole time. I was done in four minutes forty seconds.

Afterward she looked haunted and commented, “It was like watching a snake unhinge it’s jaw but you never talked with food in your mouth!”

More recently my beloved and I were catching up with a friend over lunch. I had a sandwich while they’d gotten falafel plates. We were having a lovely chat but after I finished a story our friend said, “I don’t want your food to go cold while you talk!”

I was surprised. I’d been deliberately talking more so she could eat. I turned to show her my empty sandwich box. Both she and my beloved were stunned. It was like I’d performed a magic trick and made my sandwich disappear because neither had even noticed me demolishing it like a snake unhinging it’s jaw.

[ralphidreamer]

the older i get, the more i need time & personal space to be as boring as possible

[ralphidreamer]

born to prance in the glade forced to guard the royal capital

[ralphidreamer]

I FELL ASLEEP AND TOOK A NAP A COUPLE YEARS AGO AND SLEPT THROUGH JAN 6TH. I FELL ASLEEP A COUPLE DAYS AGO AND MISSED TRUMP GETTING SHOT. I JUST TOOK MY FIRST AFTERNOON NAP IN A BIT AND NOW THIS?

[ralphidreamer]

Preach I guess