raivaughn

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love is stored in "i'm going to annoy the shit out of you" btw

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I cannot BELIEVE that Heinz has the AUDACITY to claim they know the perfect ratio of ketchup to mayo.

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sometimes when i am dealing with a mild allergic reaction i think how easily you can weaponize a human body against itself, and i wonder if anyone has tried making an allergen that all people react to. then i realize that would be a poison, and those already exist

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A proposal

Sometimes, in fandom, we just want to write id-tastic fic that rolls around in tropes that might be viewed as problematic. But we don’t want to address the problematic side of things in this particular fanwork; we just want to roll around and wallow.

It is considered courteous to give readers a heads-up via use of AO3 tags. I propose a tag that signals that a given fanwork is for rolling around, not giving a measured evaluation of anything. The MCU has carved out a space for this sort of fic with the “HYDRA Trash Party” tag, for which I commend them. Trash Party is a bit too specific to cover all of the ground I’m thinking of here, though; I propose “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.”

For those of you not familiar with Arrested Development, Michael Bluth finds a paper bag in the freezer labeled “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.” He opens the bag, finds a dead dove, and reacts as follows:

[gif of a white man saying “I don’t know what I expected” in a deadpan manner]

The “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” tag would essentially be a “what it says on the tin” metatag, indicating “you see the tropes and concepts tagged here? they are going to appear in this fic. exactly as said. there will not necessarily be any subversion, authorial commentary condemning problematic aspects, or meditation on potential harm. this fic contains dead dove. if you proceed, you should expect to encounter it.”

(more at KnowYourMeme: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-dont-know-what-i-expected)

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me when i wanna talk about my special interests but i got the vampire autism where you gotta invite me to talk about smth first, otherwise i wont say shit or dont know what to say because i feel like im annoying

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I tried to leave Kudos on a fic that was already deleted (i had the tab open) and I was expecting it to just bug out or not work but this is so much more unsettling

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immortality as theft (you have to steal life from something else) immortality as parasitism (there is something else inside You that is keeping you alive and you become less of yourself more and more the longer it stays in you) immortality as violence (everything is trying to kill you because everything is supposed to die and the universe will always try to find a way to right the wrong that is You) you understand

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me: often the most powerful ideas come in that moment of weightlessness between sleeping and waking, where the conscious mind is most in touch with the infinite creative force that flows like a subterranean river beneath the--

my brain on mid-afternoon nap: dilbert donklert's granola factory

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sometimes you need dialogue tags and don't want to use the same four

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stories and roleplays are great ways to safely explore and live out your wildest fantasies for example being able to take care of and protect the people you love and deeply care about

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*smashes you over the head with a potion bottle but it was a healing potion and it heals you for the exact amount of damage i dealt you* oh… uh. hm. do you think you could just lay on the floor and pretend to be unconscious

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people need to realise that a poor little meow meow must be a character who has committed atrocities you cannot poor little meow meow a good guy that’s not how this works

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theyre in a polycule

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woke up today and realized that tumblr entirely killed fuck ya life bing bong so here ya go again