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[raisingryderperez]

The ABC’s of Breastfeeding

I once assigned my eighth graders the ABC Book Project. It required students to choose 1 or more vocabulary words for each letter of the alphabet, based on their book. The word could be selected from the story itself, or simply be related vocabulary. I thought it would be interesting to pick out some words for breastfeeding and my personal experience. Below is a work in progress.

A- Anxiety

I felt anxiety in the early weeks, when I didn’t know what I was doing, when Ryder didn’t know what he was doing, when the breastfeeding relationship was new and on rocky footing. Ryder couldn’t latch properly at first and it was painful. He seemed to be hungry all the time because he was nursing every few hours. He began cluster feeding. Family members would ask if I knew how much milk I was giving him and I had no definite answer. Husband just wanted to give baby a bottle. 

Recently a doctor visit shook me. Ryder had lost 2 ounces in body weight since his last appointment, and the doctor questioned my milk supply. I became wracked with anxiety about his health. When you are responsible for your child’s nutrition, it can be easy to become worried or anxious.

B- Bad latch

In those initial weeks of building up my milk supply, Ryder was unable to latch successfully. When he attempted to latch my left nipple, the pain was excruciating. It felt as though he was biting down on my nipple and then sucking it to the back of his mouth. I tried tilting his head back, opening his mouth wide, trying to replicate illustrations and YouTube videos I’d seen online and nothing was working. I often bore the pain so that he’d at least be getting milk. I knew deep down that breastfeeding may be uncomfortable at first, but never painful. So one day, tears streaming down my cheeks while I held him in a cross cradle position and rocked him in the nursery, I prayed aloud to God to allow us to fix his weak latch and allow him to get as much milk possible. I spent all day focused on fixing the latch to eliminate my pain and get my son his milk. It was one of the hardest days in those early weeks, but he finally got it. Did he revert to his bad latch again? Yes, every now and then, but I’d re-latch him every time.

C- Cluster feeding; Chup, Chuping

Cluster feeding. Because I was faced with questions about how much milk my son was getting, I began researching during all the time I spent nursing Ryder late at night. I kept a memo on my cell documenting every time Ryder had a wet or dirty diaper, every time he nursed, every time he napped. I realize now there are apps for this. (Before the cell memo I used a small dry erase board!) Tracking everything helped me see that I was nourishing my baby but I began to question the hours of continuous nursing. Yes, hours. My memo shows that for nearly a week and a half, my son would nurse me from 7 at night to 1 in the morning. I continued to read up during these lengthy, exhausting nursing sessions, and discovered that what Ryder was doing was cluster feeding to build up my milk supply. I was not going dry at one month postpartum!

Chup, Chuping. In Spanish, the word chupar means “to suck.” My husband always comments about how all Ryder wants to do is chup.

D- Diet (mother’s)

E- Expectations

F- Full feed, Foremilk

G- Galactagogue

H- H2O

I- Introducing solids, Interruption

J-

K-

L- Letdown, Lanolin, Low milk supply

M- Midnight muffin

N- Nipple shield: blessing or curse?

O- Oversupply

P- Performance anxiety, Prolactin, Pumping, Power pumping

Q-

R- Right way vs. Wrong way to breastfeed

S- Supplement (with expressed milk or formula)

T- Tears

U- Unexpected friendship

V- Visitors

W- Weaning

X-

Y-

Z-

[raisingryderperez]

Wine Not?

On Sunday, my older brother and sister-in-law came by for a visit. Over text about a week ago, Annette and I had shared our current struggles, mine in the home and hers in the classroom, and we ended our exchange promising to have a glass of wine. She brought some wine over that day, and at first I thought, maybe I should save this for a special occasion or holiday. But then part of me thought Why not open this bottle right now?

My brother Jarrod opened the bottle for us and Annette poured the glasses I remember using last year around Thanksgiving time. What followed was some great conversation, laughs, and me feeling like Amy again. Ryder was napping in the other room, in case you were wondering.

It’s easy for a new mom to forget who she is when raising her child or children. You get caught up in them, taking care of their every need, making sure they are always clean and dry, happy with a toy, or comfortable while in your lap. It becomes incredibly easy to lose yourself, to always throw your hair up in a messy bun, to eat meals cold, chug down water when you can, limit your showers to mere minutes and accept that letting your hair air-dry makes it appear witchy. Since I breastfeed, I become physically drained sometimes, especially when Ryder teethes. He needs more comfort nursing and soothing and so I sometimes forget who I am, besides his mom.

Sunday I felt like myself again. We talked about our younger days, and we laughed really, really hard. I’m not saying the wine needs to always make an appearance when I have visitors, but I see why all those desperate housewife characters on TV and in movies call it “Mommy’s happy juice.” I felt relaxed and carefree, with my words and with my smile, and it was nice to have a drink when the weather is just starting to turn cold outside. I don't like a cold beer in winter, it’s just not the same. The wine was red and not too sweet, just a bit tart. 

For a moment, I’d stepped out of the role of Ryder’s mom and back into Amy’s shoes. It recharged my personal batteries, you know, the ones that give you the energy to put leggings on and brush your hair before your husband walks in. Or exfoliate and shave your legs, or wear a peel-off face mask for 20 minutes, or make coffee. It was bittersweet knowing I am still the same person but can’t always indulge in what I want when I want now that Ryder’s here. But I got to be Amy again just long enough to know that she’s not going anywhere anytime soon. Mom or not.

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Me in the game with my adopted son Ryder

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My Embarrassing Addiction

Almost as soon as my son turned 4 months old, he hit what many internet articles deem the “4 month sleep regression.” Characteristics of the regression include fighting naps and bedtime, short naps, waking frequently in the night, and increased fussiness. It took me longer to rock him to sleep, sometimes nursing him to sleep wouldn’t work, and we became attached at the breast at naps (which he continued to comfort nurse all throughout, and when I’d try to slip away, he’d cry). During this regression, I downloaded an app that has become my embarrassing addiction: Kim Kardashian Hollywood.

Yes, I downloaded this app. It’s embarrassing because I actually like playing it, which I don’t even know if others would consider playing tapping on bubbles and buying virtual clothes that cost more than my monthly mortgage payments. The whole point of the game is to get famous, and so far I have become an A-list celebrity with 78.3 million fake fans. I don’t pay for anything in the app, which takes me longer to complete gigs and photo shoots and such, but brings me to explaining why and how this app became so addicting to me.

To earn K-stars, you can shell out money and get rid of the ads that pop up during the game. Or, if you’re rocking your son endlessly in a quiet nursery or laying on your side nursing him to sleep and you’ve run out of things to read and Instagram pics to like, then you can earn a K-star for each 15 to 30-second ad you watch, up to 20 K-stars a day. For a few days, I became obsessed with adopting a boy in the game, which costs 160 K-stars.

Once I had the K-stars, it took me about 30 minutes to decide which baby to adopt (you can pick how the baby looks), and I was so excited about getting him because I knew I’d name him Ryder like my son in real life and I could still fit into all my skanky clothes and leave him at home so I could complete commercials and travel all around the world for various club appearances and photo shoots.

What I have learned now is that I should have saved my K-stars for a few choice wigs or designer pieces because while baby Ryder came with me everywhere for about 3 hours post-adoption, he now can only be found in the nursery of my apartment in downtown L.A., condo in Hollywood, beach house in Malibu, or mansion in Bel-Air. The virtual nursery stays the same in any of the places I own. The baby doesn’t grow, and each day I can do only a few things with him: change diaper, playtime, or bottle. 

I’m still hooked on tapping bubbles and getting free K-stars for watching ads, but at the height of my son’s sleeping troubles was when I think I was truly embarrassingly addicted to this game, so much to the point that I had to have my phone charged and ready when sleep time rolled around. 

Ryder is doing much better, and I don’t think sleep regression was totally to blame. I think teething and possible constipation were contributing factors in his fussiness and lack of quality sleep. As I type, he’s been asleep for nearly 40 minutes, which would have felt like Christmas just a few short weeks ago. Maybe my game addiction will subside for now, maybe not. Maybe I’ll adopt another kid, only a girl this time. Who knows?

[raisingryderperez]

Welcome!

If you’ve found this blog, welcome! I am going to write and share all about my life raising my son, Ryder. I am a 34-year-old married stay-at-home mom who used to teach high school and intermediate. I don’t miss it at all, and absolutely love being home with my little one. I enjoy working out, reading to my son, taking stroller walks with my family and dog Bella, and movie dates with my husband. I have had many jobs in my life besides being a teacher, but I will say that being a mom is the hardest job I’ve ever had. While my son is just 4 months old, I have faced many challenges adjusting to life as a mother. From my birth experience to breastfeeding to dealing with fluctuating hormones to getting my body back after having a baby, this blog will detail my experience becoming a mother to Ryder. Stick around!