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spencer + eyebrows

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SPENCER REID - OUR DARKEST HOUR + THE LONGEST NIGHT

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Voiceless Words [Spencer Reid x ASL Interpreter! Reader]

Warnings: None

Fluff, PG-13

Disclaimer: I'm a member of the Deaf community (I'm a CODA which is a child of Deaf adults). I'm fluent in ASL, and I tried to write this as accurate to how ASL would be written. This is mainly a character study for Spencer since I'm still learning to write him, so please forgive any OOC-ness. Thanks! :) Summary: A Deaf child witness comes into play, but none of the team can communicate with her; so the BAU calls upon Y/N L/N, an American Sign Language interpreter. Spencer quickly finds that admiration comes in different forms. Word Count: 3.1 k MY REQUESTS ARE OPEN! PLEASE CLICK HERE TO REQUEST! https://ray-likes-reid.tumblr.com/ask

Arriving at the police precinct where Spencer would spend hours of his time was always the most exciting, but also most exhausting part of his job. The beginnings of solving a case to help save potential lives was always the reasoning the agent told himself in order to justify all the hard hours he dedicated to his work. Of course, Spencer always dreaded the late nights he’d have to spend in (usually) dingy police stations, fueled by at least three cups of coffee for him to get through the case. It was impossible to get a good night’s sleep while on a case, even after half a decade working as a profiler.

On a breezy late September case, Spencer was leaning over the round coffee-stained table, down at the faces of the victims that some sick human being murdered. As he was studying the stab wounds the women had, JJ walked into the room and placed another photo on the table. “Who’s this?” He asked his colleague, who let out a long sad sigh. “Dorothy Guilding, 23, was kidnapped from her backyard this morning. She was reported missing by her mother, her twelve year old sister witnessed the crime-but.” The blonde agent paused, making Spencer look up from his bent over position over the table. “But?” He repeated, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion

“She’s Deaf.” JJ informed, crossing her arms, as she did so when she was deep in thought. “She’s waiting to be questioned, but no one in the department knows sign language, nor does she know how to lipread.” She said sadly, making Spencer bite down on his lip in thought. “Why can’t her mother interpret?” He brought up. “I know normally we like to question family separately, but this scenario is different.” One of his hands moved to brush his gentle brown hair behind his ear. “Her mother is in another state for business, she was only able to report Dorothy as missing since they were supposed to have a phone call around lunchtime.”

Spencer slowly nodded, picking up the photo of Dorothy, her brown eyes full of life and joy as she smiled into the camera. He always had a drive to learn American Sign Language, 250,000-500,000+ people in the United States and Canada used the language, slowly becoming more popular in many communities. The young doctor quickly learned when he was 20 that learning ASL was different from learning a verbal language. While ASL was indeed a language, it was so different from the spoken and written languages he was used to casually picking up through books or movies.

“I’ll try communicating with her.” He finally said, catching JJ by surprise based on her widening eyes. “Spence? Really?” Her face relaxed within moments as she made connections in her brain. “Of course, out of all of us you’re the best option.” She rested her hand on Spencer’s shoulder. The male agent nodded, straightening his tie as he started to collect himself. “I’ll go try to speak to her now.” With that, he and JJ made their way over to a small glass room; where a girl with dark brown hair with tears streaming down her cheeks sat.

Slowly, gently, Spencer sat down in the seat in front of her. The preteen looked up at him, pointing to her ears and shaking her head. Spencer gave her a small smile and nodded. The girl relaxed a bit, only enough to wipe some tears from her face, before gesturing with her hands. “Write?” She signed, which the profiler was able to understand based on context clues. He nodded, pulling out a paper and pen from his satchel. Quickly, he scribbled a question on the notepad.

“What’s your name?”

He wrote, before handing the paper back to the girl. She looked down at the notebook, her lower lip trembling as small sobs continued to escape from her mouth. With a shaky hand, she wrote her response.

“Jenny.”

Spencer smiled when he saw her response, giving her a thumbs up before writing down the second question. “Thank you Jenny. Do you know what happened to your sister, Dorothy?”

When Jenny read this question, her tears started to flow down her face like a waterfall. Her hands began to shake as she sobbed louder. She tried to write down her answer on the notepad, but ended up dropping the items as she brought her hands to her face. Spencer frowned sympathetically, it was hard enough for anyone to share what happened to their loved ones, and even harder to write it.

Slowly, he rose to his feet, and exited the room to find JJ waiting right by the door. “Could we get an interpreter?” He asked softly, who pursed her lips. “I think I’d be able to do that. I’ll call a nearby interpreting agency and see if we can get one.” Right before JJ was about to walk away, Jenny tapped at the glass and rested the notepad on the window.

“Interpreter, Y/N L/N.”

Spencer smiled, she was a smart girl. “I guess she figured out what I was going to do.” He commented, which also made JJ smile. “I’ll contact her then, could you stay with her for a bit? Just so she isn’t alone for long?” The blue-eyed profiler asked Spencer, her eyes soft with sad sympathy. “I feel awful for leaving her alone so much.” She pulled out her phone and started to dial Garcia’s number. “Gotcha.” The doctor responded, returning back into the room with Jenny.

As Spencer sat in the room with her, he saw the rest of his team return, from either the ME’s office or the dump sites. Hotch briefly paused in front of JJ, who gestured over to Jenny, the stoic man nodded before making his way back into the room where Spencer was earlier. Slowly, using the limited knowledge he had, he slowly fingerspelled out a question to Jenny. “D-O Y-O-U N-E-E-D A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G?” This got a flash of a small smile from the black-haired child, who shaikly responded. “Drink, please.” Another word the agent could understand using context.

By the time he got a small cup of water for Jenny, JJ stopped him in the hallway. “Miss L/N is on her way, she said she’ll be here in 20. She’s good friends with Dorothy so she may be able to give us insight too.” She reported, making Spencer nod. “Good.” He opened the door to the room Jenny was staying in and gave her the beverage. “She’s been crying for hours, I’m sure without the communication barrier she would’ve asked for water sooner.” Spencer murmured to JJ, who nodded in agreement.

Twenty minutes passed, and a [hight] woman breathlessly walked into the precinct. She wore formal black attire, which was a black blouse, with a black pencil skirt and tights. Her hair was also out of her face as a police officer gestured over to the FBI agents. Spencer assumed this woman was Y//N L/N, the ASL interpreter. “Oh my god, is Jenny okay?” Were the first words that left her mouth, still out of breath. It didn’t take a profiler to assume that she ran in from her car. “Yes, she’s in this room.” JJ said gently, guiding the H/C woman into the glass room were Jenny sat.

Spencer followed suit, JJ was always better when it came to gentle guidance, something he still struggled with sometimes. As soon as Y/N entered the room, she walked over the 12-year-old and crouched down to her level. “Are you alright?” The interpreter asked, Jenny sniffled and shook her head. “I’m scared” She responded, making Y/N reach out and squeeze the girl’s shoulder’s emphatically.

“Are you both okay if we ask some questions?” Spencer asked softly, and within seconds Y/N relayed the message over to Jenny who nodded. The profiler couldn’t deny the small butterflies he got in his stomach, the way the interpreter’s hands glided through the air to communicate amazed him. “Alright, do you remember what the person who took your sister looked like?” He asked, maintaining eye contact with Jenny as he spoke.

“I do.” Y/N translated Jenny’s words. “He was tall, white, older looking. He didn’t notice me.” She continued as the Deaf girl signed. Spencer nodded, which gave Jenny the confidence to continue through her tears. “He was wearing a light blue shirt, it looked stained with oil.He was also wearing old boots coated in dried mud.” Jenny’s hands were still shaky as she signed, but it was a lot easier for her to process her thoughts without having to write them down on paper.

“Perfect.” Spencer’s voice was light and encouraging, giving Jenny a warm smile. “Did you know him?” He asked, she sniffled and shook her head. “No.” She responded. “Alright. Do you remember what you and Dorothy were doing in the backyard before she was taken?” The profiler asked. Y/N signed the words to the child, who’s lower lip trembled with a sad whimper. “We were setting things up for a picnic, we always had backyard picnics when mom left for business.” Y/N’s voice was gentle, as she interpreted Jenny’s words.

Spencer crossed his legs as he listened to Y/N translate Jenny’s story. Her hands moved in a way that was still shaken, but clear in what she wanted to say. She explained that she briefly stepped inside to grab a pitcher of lemonade, when when she came back out she saw the unsub dragging her sister out the backyard gate. He didn’t see her, due to the angles of the bushes in the yard. The conversation went by smoothly, and pretty soon Jenny was getting ready to go back home.

Y/N walked over to Spencer, gently pulling him aside. “Are you just going to, send her home? Alone?” She asked with wide, E/C eyes full of concern. “No. Of course not.” The young doctor responded, a kind smile on his face. “She is staying with her grandmother, we wouldn’t make her stay alone. Her mother is also trying to find a flight back here from across the country.” He shoved his hands in his pockets as he spoke. Y/N nodded, her smile was relieved. “Thank God, thank you.” She expressed, her body language beginning to relax. .

“I-I think it’s really cool you use American Sign Language.” The FBI agent blurted with a pink face, catching the interpreter off guard. “Oh! Well, being a profiler for the FBI is pretty cool too.” Y/N chirped, making Spencer tug at his fingers nervously. “You’re awfully young looking to be a profiler.” She added on, studying his face a bit more. “I joined the FBI when I was 22.” He explained with an intelligent grin. “I got three pHDs and got through the FBI training fairly quickly.” The man shrugged, as if it was easy for him to do so. “Three pHDs?” Y/N parroted with a surprised tone.

“Yeah, he’ll tell you alllllll about it.” A deep, feminine voice teased from behind them, making the E/C girl spin around. A woman with dark black hair, which reached her shoulders and pale skin waved at her. “Agent Prentiss, is it alright if we ask you to stick around here for a bit? Just in case we need to ask Jenny more questions?” She asked after shaking Y/N’s hand. “Of course.” The interpreter responded with a dazed expression. She turned to look back at Spencer, who’s golden eyes never really left her. “You guys are nothing like the FBI in the shows I watch, normally they’re all mean and scary.”

This earned a good natured chuckle from the two agents, who both shook their heads. “Oh we can be scary sometimes, depending on who we’re talking to.” Emily joked with a wide, pearly white smile. Spencer gave her a confused expression, furrowing his brows. “I don’t think I’m ever scared anyone.” He mumbled, earning a small laugh from Y/N. “I’m sure you can be scary sometimes.” She chimed kindly, adjusting the bag strap over her shoulder. His cheeks heated into a slight blush. “Thanks.” He smiled at the woman, who smiled back.

Y/N’s watch beeping alerted the three people in the room, she glanced at it and blanched. “Oh shit, I’m late for my next appointment!” She turned her alarm off and looking back at the two agents. “We appreciate your help.” Spencer spoke up first, followed by Emily. “We’ll contact you if we need anything.” She added. “Awesome, see you guys.” Y/N lifted her hand in an awkward wave, before exiting the building.

As soon as the woman left, Spencer started to move his hands, grabbing Emily’s attention. “Did you pick up on sign language that fast?” Her eyes widened in shock, but quickly snorted. “Of course you did.” The black-haired agent chuckled as her co-worker nodded. “It’s like picking up any language, just witnessing someone who is fluent or semi-fluent use it. It’s not too hard to pick up based on context.” He explained, his hands making small gestures as he spoke. Emily just nodded along with a wide smile.

The next few days of the case went by easily, it wasn’t hard to track the unsub down, based on the information they got from Jenny and using Garcia’s international database. Spencer was a part of the unsub’s takedown, helping Morgan perform the arrest of Kenny Jenkins. It went down smoothly, but he had one more thing to do before he left the state.

He wanted to see Y/N again.

Ever since they called her in to interpret, Spencer couldn’t stop thinking about her. At first he thought he was just impressed by her usage of American Sign Language, but slowly this impression turned into a different type of admiration. He also found her extremely beautiful. With H/C hair, bright E/C eyes, and S/C skin that made her seem like she was glowing. To say he hadn’t fallen head-over-heels was a bit of an understatement.

As they were cleaning up the police precinct, Morgan caught a distinct sparkle in his younger colleague’s eye. He smirked, and approached Spencer with a shit eating grin. “So, who caught your eye, pretty boy?” Derek teased, whisking the doctor away from his thoughts. “N-no one!” He squeaked, his voice lifting an octave. A clear and obvious sign that he was lying; even to non-profilers. “I bet it was Y/N.” Emily added, walking over to them, and chucking at Spencer’s betrayed expression.

“Y/N? The ASL interpreter?” Derek turned back to Spencer, who nervously licked his lower lip as he avoided the other man’s eyes. “Are you going to give her a call?” The muscular agent asked, patting the nervous Spencer a pat on the shoulder. “I can’t just do that.” He murmured in response, still avoiding Morgan’s eyes. “It’s unprofessional.”

“Unprofessional?” Derek’s eyebrows flew up his forehead, before snorting. “Reid, she wasn’t a victim or an unsub. You’re allowed to ask for her number.” He encouraged, rubbing his shoulder gently. Spencer sighed heavily, putting the last file into his leather messenger bag before rubbing one of his eyes. “The chances of us seeing each other again is 1/329.5 million.” The statistics sounded bleak, making his heart sink a little down into his stomach. “Exactly pretty boy, which is why you should give her a call. I’m sure Hotch would let us stay another night. This case just wrapped up.” Morgan continued, trying to install confidence into his friend’s 187 brain.

Spencer nodded slowly, the cogs churning in his skull. Without another word, he scurried out of the precinct, right as JJ and Hotch exited the police chief’s office. “What’s that about?” The dark haired man asked Morgan, who just gave his boss a smug smile. “Pretty boy is going to swing.” He boasted simply, giving Emily a fist bump before continuing to pack up files.

While outside the precinct, Spencer fished out a special business card he was handed from JJ. She passed out Y/N’s card right after she left, so anyone on the team could contact her if needed. Clumsily, his fingers typed out her number, before bringing his flip phone to his ear. Even though it was late, almost 11:55, the woman answered.

“Hello?” She asked, sounding a bit sleepy. “Hi.” Spencer breathed, his heart felt warm just by hearing her voice. A feeling he hadn’t felt for a while. “This is Doctor Spencer Reid of the FBI, I just wanted to inform you that Kenny Jenkins has been arrested.” He stammered out, feeling like confessing that he had a crush on her was a bit much to say automatically. A relieved sigh emitted from the other side of the line. “Thank God. Thank you.” She breathed. A moment of silence passed between the two, making Spencer’s head pound.

“I-uh, was just wondering, if you wanted to meet up again? Sometime later?” He said slowly, hesitantly. “I just thought you were gorgeous.” Spencer paused to clear his throat with a nervous cough. “Me?” Y/N’s voice didn’t sound alarmed, or fearful, just shocked. The agent nodded, even though he knew she couldn’t see it. “Yeah. I was just enamored by your use of American Sign Language, I-I couldn’t stop thinking about you so I had to say something before we left.” He confessed quickly, pushing out the words before he clamped his mouth shut.

A silence passed, before Y/N’s giggle sounded through the phone. “Doctor Reid, I’d love to go out with you.” The smile she had could be heard through the phone’s speaker. “What time are you leaving?” She asked. Spencer paused, he knew realistically it would be early the next morning. He could get away with staying an extra day, right? “Tomorrow afternoon.” His response was brief, he’d apologize to Hotch later.

“Wanna get coffee tomorrow then?” Y/N asked gleefully, Spencer couldn’t high the happy sigh that escaped from his lungs and through his lips. “I would love to.” He responded, his heart pounding in his chest. “It’s a date then! Goodnight Doctor Reid.” The two said their goodbyes and hung up. Right as the call ended, the BAU exited out of the doors and spotted their teammate.

“How’d it go?” Hotch asked, a hint of a smile behind his stern lips. Spencer’s ears turned pink as he felt the blood rise to his face. “Good.” He managed to say with a level of confidence. “I’ll be leaving on a seperate flight tomorrow.” The doctor gave his boss an anxious smile, who simply nodded. “No problem Reid. The rest of us are leaving at 8am sharp tomorrow.” He gestured to the rest of the team. “We’ll see you later.” With that, Hotch started to walk to one of the black SUVs. Derek patted Spencer’s shoulders and dragged him to one of the other cars; praising him on the way.

Spencer Reid couldn’t wait until tomorrow morning... ____________________________________________________________ Feedback keeps me motivated! :)

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Eldest Daughter

 RCH 3k Celebration

Song Fic inspired by “Eldest Daughter” by Isabel Pless 

Pairing: Spencer Reid x BAUfem! Reader

Category: Hurt/Comfort

Key: unbolded italics are memories, bolded italics are just the lyrics to the song

TW: family (specifically a sister) being mean, light trauma due to emotional bullying from family, insecure reader, cursing, imposter syndrome

Word Count: way too many

Very thankful for this opportunity to write the most self-indulgent thing I’ve ever written - thank you to whoever anonymously requested a fic based on this song. Also, please listen to the song. I’m a massive fan of Isabel Pless and I wish more people would listen to her. This is also the first proper song fic I’ve ever written, so it really is more inspired by the song rather than directly informed by it. Love you all and hope you like it! xx 

I’m back on my eldest daughter bullshit Drawn to broken people like a magnet Pull out my toolkit  Hammer you back into place

It’s rare for Spencer Reid to be at a complete loss for words. What he’s just witnessed, though, is enough to send all words reeling from his mind. It’s hard to countenance anyone being cruel to you, but for it to come from your family…it’s difficult. Sure, his own father used to say all sorts of questionable things regarding his intelligence and social awkwardness, but he’s very thankful it hadn’t been a constant, like yours has apparently been. After rather awkwardly hugging your parents goodbye, you get into Spencer’s car, smiling uncomfortably and forcibly as he stiffly waves to them and pulls out of the driveway. The second your parents are out of sight, you let out a very shaky and long sigh. He doesn’t say anything - mostly because he can’t think of anything to say - but also because, due to the many, many years he’s known you at this point, he knows when you need a moment to settle your thoughts. You get like this after difficult cases, too, silent until you can think of something to say. He hears you intake a deep breath and let one out again. 

Only now he knows it’s not a coping mechanism: it’s a trauma response. 

Keep reading

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Take Me Home | Part One

18+

Summary: Spencer swears he'll never let himself fall in love again.

Warnings: Angst, Smut, friends with benefits agreements, pining, unrequited love, accidental pregnancy

Word Count: 4.8K

Part 1 of 3 | Masterlist

October 12th, 2014

It all happened so fast.

One minute he was swearing he would never let himself close to another person, he was giving up the idea of falling in love with the one and start living life as a hermit…

Then he saw her.

It was simple really, she was reading a book in the bar, in the back corner with the brightest light above her so that she could see. And Spencer couldn’t take his eyes off her the whole night.

The team teased him about it, telling him he should go talk to her and pushing him close and closer to her until he finally broke, “fine.” He pushes their hands off him and fixed his shirt, “I’m going over there.”

He walks over cautiously and stands in front of her table, getting a better look at the book, it’s not something he expected. “I’ve never read Twilight.”

She looks up at him like he was annoying her, “okay?”

“I’ve never seen anyone else here reading, normally it's just me,” he shrugs it off, hoping that she forgives him for interrupting her.

She smiles softly, “my neighbour is the bartender, my car broke down and she offered to drive me home if I don’t mind the wait.”

“My friends like to come here after work and they drag me out to be social, but I don’t really like drinking,” he explains, showing her the lemonade in his hand with the funky umbrella.

“Well if both of us don’t want to be here, why don’t we just go back to yours?”

“I’m kinda here with my friends for my birthday,” he turns and points to the crowd of people watching him try and land a date.

She waves at them with a smile, “looks like they want you to take me home…?”

“Spencer,” he fills in the blank where his name should have been. “I mean, they do but, I’m—

“Not that kind of guy?” She teases as she stands and grabs her things. “Well Spencer, I’m Y/N and I’ll have you know things change for the better all the time if you just let them.”

At his place, she was so delicate with him. It was more than sex, it contained too many emotions on his behalf to ever just be sex. It was the first time he had been with someone in a while, which wasn’t really his fault… he stopped having sex with strangers when he met Maeve, and he was yet to move on since then. It’s been 1 year and 10 months since she died, and since the last time, he let himself feel this happy.

She was funny, they giggled and rolled around, kissing each other everywhere and enjoying the moment. Lost in each other, exploring new bodies and wondering about all the memories left on their skin. Her hands ghosted over the scar on his neck, she noticed how he couldn’t bend one knee all the way, she looked deep in his eyes and saw all the hurt and kissed him to make up for it.

It wasn’t the first time he’s had sex like this, nowhere near the first time. But it was the closest he’s ever felt to another person as she sat on his cock, facing him as she rode him. Kissing his face, his neck, his lips. Whispering how good it felt, panting obscenities at each other, chasing their orgasms right to the end, more than once.

It was the best sex he’s had… ever? Ever. He stares up at the ceiling after, her head resting on his shoulder and her index finger tracing shapes all over his torso.

“Are you okay?” She asks, “that was good for you right?”

“Yeah, absolutely,” he nods, wrapping her up tighter and nuzzling his jaw against the top of her head, “thank you, it’s just been a really long time since I let myself be happy for a bit… I didn’t realize how sad I’ve been until now.”

“I’m so sorry,” she kisses his chest lightly a few times, “I can’t pretend to know what that's like, but I’m pretty lonely a lot of the time, if I’m not at work taking care of other people, I’m sleeping… it’s nice to just feel good for me.”

“Did you want to stay?” He asks cautiously.

She nods, “I’ll have to unless you don’t mind me stealing your car?”

He likes how easy it is with her, how she feels like a friend he’s known for years when he’s only known her a few hours.

He expected it to be a one-night stand, a hookup of convenience because she was bored and he was lonely… he partially blamed it on the fact that he had sex with her before getting to know her. Because his brain had mixed the feeling of those happy chemicals with the visual of her face and the audio of her laugh and now he can’t reverse it.

—

December 27th, 2014

When he doesn’t hear or see from her for a few months he thinks that’s it, it was just a one-night stand to her and nothing more so he should stop thinking about her all the time. He was right to give up on love and be alone forever because he can’t rely on anyone else for his own happiness… and then she knocked on his door.

He saw her through the peephole with a pizza box in her hands and a cautious look on her face. He unlocks and opens the door, “hi?”

“I was in the area and thought if you were sad today like me, then maybe we could be sad together?”

He smiles then, “well now that you’re here I don’t think it’s possible for me to be sad, but come on in.”

She laughs and it brings all the feelings forth once more and it scares him. He sits on the opposite side of the couch from her, they share pizza and stories and he learns more about her, but he keeps his distance. He learns she works with babies all day long, running the nursery at the YMCA from 5 in the morning until 5 at night, from Monday through Friday.

“And sometimes I just need to not think and have someone look after Me, because I do it all day long,” she rants while holding a slice of pizza, talking with her hands and making the end jiggle till a pepperoni jumps off.

“I get that,” he smiles, holding in a giggle as he looks past her. “Uh, my job is a bit more extreme than that, but I also spend my days watching over other people.”

“How so?”

“I’m an FBI agent, I work with the behavioural analysis unit so I mainly come in after a long string of murders or when people go missing. Which means I don’t get to save everyone, and it’s hard,” He’s honest. “I’ve seen people die in some of the worst ways.”

“Oh wow,” she replies, mildly horrified. “I’m so sorry Spencer, I can’t imagine how hard that must be on your heart.”

He nods, “I like taking care of people… I think it's because I took care of my mom a lot growing up. I like knowing I can make one person okay and happy, I’ll often give too much of myself up to do that.”

“Me too,” she agrees. “What if we meet up once a week and just do this? We just talk about our days over pizza and be the one person we make happy?”

Alarm bells go off in his head because it sounds a lot like Sunday phone calls… but he has an inability to make other people upset so he agrees. “On Friday’s when I’m not working, you can definitely keep coming over.”

“I have to ask,” she looks nervous, face scrunching as she stares at him. “We’ve already had sex, so like… I wouldn’t really be opposed to doing it again if you ever wanted to? I didn’t come over here expecting it or anything, I just want to say the offer is there…”

He smiles at how awkward she is, it makes him feel even more comfortable, “I’d be interested in a casual thing if you are? I don’t date anymore, I’m not in the right place to be someone’s boyfriend.”

“That’s perfectly fine,” she agrees, “I think I can make friends who fuck work?”

“Friends who fuck,” he repeats her verbiage with a smirk, “I think anyone on earth would tell you that friends with benefits doesn’t work.”

“It can if I understand you’re not in that place to love someone,” she explains. “I’m mature enough to respect the fact that sex and love can be separate and if I do ever develop those feelings for you, I don’t expect them to ever be reciprocated. I know going forward that I can’t expect you to just love me one day.”

He’s wowed by the response, “you’re really self-aware?”

“I took a lot of human development, psychology and sexuality classes in college and I understand that trauma basically controls our ability to love sometimes… it’s not your fault— and I don’t even know what it is, but it’s not your fault that you’ve been hurt enough to not be able to love right now,” she explains further and her head tilts to the side as she makes her point. She looks at him so innocently, so sweetly, like he’s a human being with faults and that’s okay.

It overwhelms him. He feels a wave of anxiety wash over him that heats up his skin as he sits up, uncomfortable in his own body suddenly. “Um,” he licks his lips, “thank you. It’s not easy to explain and I don’t really want to, but yeah. I can’t love anyone else yet.”

“I respect that,” she smiles. “And if you ever do want to talk about it, or anything else really, I try really hard to be understanding and I’d like to be there for you when you need someone?”

He nods, moving in closer to her, “can I give you a hug?”

“Absolutely,” she wraps her arms around him and holds him close. He settles against her shoulder and breathes her in, rubbing her back gently as she does the same to him.

“Thank you for stopping by,” he whispers. “I really didn’t want to be alone tonight, I appreciate this more than you know.”

“I know,” she whispers back and it sounds like she’s crying. “I haven’t been hugged in so long. Sometimes it’s literally all I need.”

He pulls back and holds her face in his hands to wipe and fallen tears and look in her eyes, “do you know what helps me feel better?”

“Orgasms?” She teases with a sniffle.

He laughs, “no— I mean yes, but I was going to say ice cream. But those too.”

“What flavours do you have? And don’t say vanilla…”

—

June 2015

She didn’t want to break her promise. But she fell in love with him around March of that year, pining hopelessly for him even when she said she wouldn’t. She was good at keeping her attraction to him a secret from him, telling only one co-worker about the arrangement and gossiping in the staff room at work.

Heather made it pretty clear that she didn’t like Spencer as soon as she heard the story. “Any man that was afraid to love Y/N upfront and without fear is a loser,” she explains. “Actually all men are losers. That’s why I have a wife.”

“Candace is perfect for you because she can deal with your shit,” Y/N teases back. “It’s not that bad, I mean I’m sure if I show him that he is loveable then he will change his mind?”

“This isn’t the 50s you can’t win him over by making him dinners and letting him fuck you,” she keeps her voice down so no one else hears them.

“I know that,” she whispers back, angered slightly. “In the last few months he has become my best friend in the whole entire world, and the sex is amazing, he is so kind and so loveable and he’s capable of love… I’ve seen him explain things to me that make his eyes light up in a way that makes me jealous I can’t see him tell people about me. I want to make him feel like that, no matter what it takes, I want him to love me.”

“Just please,” Heather places her hand on her arm, “don’t lose yourself trying to be what he needs.”

She tries her best. She honestly does, but there’s a certain point where movies and pizza becomes desperately wanting him to fuck her because that’s the closest she feels to being loved by him.

And worse, she looks forward to after sex, when he falls asleep beside her and she can run her fingers through his hair and look at his face and imagine a world where it works out.

A world where he pulls her in closer in the mornings and whispers I love you in her ear before the kids come running in and they have a big morning snuggle. He’s the one she wants to have forever with, she loves him so much it makes her heart physically ache for him… and she knows he loves her back, even if it's just a fraction of the amount she loves him.

She can feel it in the way he kisses her neck when he cums, never on the lips because that would be too intimate. The way his breath tries to catch up to him as he holds her, he hesitates to kiss her skin lightly and taking it all in before he lets her go.

He always does… but he never wants to.

She knows if he just got his shit together it could work out fine, but she couldn’t say that to him. She couldn’t tell him that his feelings don’t matter… she knows his trauma from their late-night chats and deep dinner conversations. She knows about his mom and his dad and the murder and the abuse. She knows about school and the football field incident, Ethan and the academy. His drug issues, his accidents, his love and his loss.

He has a mountain's worth of trauma on his shoulders, and who the fuck was she to tell him to get over it and love her back already?

~

There’s a point where pizza and a movie on Fridays change entirely.

He’s not sure where but it’s around 6 months into their arrangement when Y/N just stopped going home on Saturdays. Laying in his bed with him all day, having sex and eating take out and laughing together over dumb jokes. She became his best friend in the whole world.

Her not leaving on Saturdays turned into them meeting specifically for sex on the weekends and not leaving bed unless he got called into work sometime before Monday. He went from looking forward to distressing over a meal and a movie with his friend to literally fucking the stress of the week away with her.

Her nails dragging down his back, her legs wrapped around his hips as she rests on the edge of the kitchen table. His bottom lip trails her neck as he fucks her, breathing against her skin and applying the occasional kiss.

“Oh god, fuck,” she has no problem being dramatic when he fucked her this hard, tossing her head back with her eyes closed, “please, Spence?” She rubs her clit with the hand that isn’t gripping his back, pushing herself to the edge more as he fucks her.

Having sex with Y/N was more of an experience than he could ever describe, he walked away each time with a weight lifted from his shoulders and a contentment in his chest. He looked forward to weekends like this and Sunday mornings in bed together, so much so that you would think they were dating with how much he looks forward to weekends with her.

He can feel her orgasm, she clenches around him as the rest of her body falls limp against the surface of the table. Legs still wrapped around him, he fucks her through his own orgasm, basking in her moans.

He pulls her back up into a sitting position and wrapping his arms around her, he couldn’t physically get any closer to her but he tried. Kissing her neck and shoulder a few times as he caught his breath… it took everything in him not to tell her how he really felt.

She holds him tight, catching her breath as she rubs his back. “I love doing that with you.”

He hums, “we’re good at it.”

She kisses his shoulder and giggles, kissing along his neck until she’s making eye contact with him again, “are you good?”

He nods, leaning in and pressing his lips to hers ever so gently. Breathing her in and realizing he probably loves her, scared shitless and yet he lets himself go. She pulls back with a smile, “what was that for?”

He just shrugs, “don’t look so kissable and maybe I won't.”

She peppers a few more kisses to his lips before pushing him back and hopping off the table, “shower?”

“You can, I think I just want to chill,” he lies, not able to get any more intimate with her right now or he’d going to break his own rule.

“Alright,” she pats his shoulder and walks off into his room, he covers himself back up and listens to the shower start to run, and then he knows he’s alone.

He cowers into the corner of his office with his phone and his anxiety and gives himself a few minutes to not be okay. He could be happy if he let himself, but he’s so scared to love her and lose her like everyone else.

—

December 23rd, 2015

He’s been able to pretend that he doesn’t love her for a long time now. Almost an entire year of having constant sex with the same woman, having long chats and sleeping beside her… she was basically his girlfriend without the title and everyone knew he had someone. They just had no idea he was being an idiot and not allowing himself to fully be happy.

“Spencer,” Dave walks up behind him and gets on the elevator at the same time as him. “What are you doing for Christmas this year?”

“I’m not sure,” he shakes his head, fiddling with his satchel anxiously.

“Well, I’m doing Christmas at mine this weekend… thanks to Penelope, if you’d like to come and bring whoever it is you normally spend your weekends with?”

Spencer shakes his head, “she’s not— no. I don’t bring her around for a reason and I think you know why.”

He nods, “you’re not cursed you know, no matter how shit things get in your life it is never and has never been your fault, Spencer.”

It’s not often that he looks to Rossi for support, but he’s partially right. “I just can’t lose someone else that I love.”

“You love her?” He smiles.

“Unfortunately,” he nods, and thankfully their ride to the main floor of the building is over. “I’ll see you on Monday, Dave.”

He waves him off and keeps walking, out the door and down the stairs to the subway. Getting on the first train he sees and going where ever it takes him. He can’t go home yet, not when he knows Y/N is coming over later and he has to see her and feel her and wish she was really his. And she could be if he asked, he knows she loves him back and he wants them to be more.

But he can't. He can’t let himself be happy with someone else again because the last time he was happy she died. He was so close to forever with someone… he had so much hope for the future and it all died with Maeve.

When he finally does get home, tired and beaten down from his anxiety, Y/N’s let herself in with her key and set out dinner on the same table he’s fucked her on and it looks like a scene right out of a movie. She acts like a housewife on their weekends together, a fake little escape from the real world where he doesn’t have to think about how he feels. Smiling the second he sees her.

“Honey, you’re home,” she teases, getting up and rushing to give him a hug. But she can tell some things off when he hugs her back with less enthusiasm than normal. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this,” he whispers. “It’s making me sadder.”

“Why?”

“My last girlfriend died,” he whispers. A year of wanting to tell her and not being able to fade away as he watches the words wash over her face.

Her jaw drops, and her eyes soften, “Spence?”

He nods, “and everyone before her that I have put my time and effort and love into has never picked me. They’ve never stayed, I’m not important. I’m here to make others happy and never get anything in return.”

“That's not true at all,” she shakes her head. “Because you could tell me you’ll never love me back and I’m still going to come over and make you dinner and want to take care of you because you’re my best friend. You do deserve happiness and I’ve been trying to give it to you for almost a year now.”

“I thought you said that you would understand that I can’t love you back?” He whispers, tearing up because he wants to. So so bad, he wants to love her until he’s old and gray and dying. He wants to hold her hand on his last day and remember all the good with her.

“I thought it would be easy,” she whispers back in an attempt to not cry as well.

“I’m sorry,” he steps back into her space and wraps his arms around her the way she wanted to be hugged in the first place. “I’m not making this easy for you either, am I?”

She shakes her head as she cries, “it’s not my fault that I love you.”

She said it. The three words in a row, the way he always imagined they’d sound. And they hurt just as much. He squeezes his eyes closed, trying his best to forget that happy feeling he felt the last time someone admitted that they loved him. He shouldn’t be letting what happened to Maeve dictate how he moves forward, but he’s just so tired of getting hurt, he doesn’t realize how badly he’s hurting Y/N.

~

That night after dinner is finished and the table has been cleared, there’s a different feeling in the air.

She finds him in his bathroom, looking under the sink for something. “What are you doing?”

“I think I just need a bath to relax and feel better,” he shrugs it off. Pulling out a tub of bath salts from under the sink. “I like feeling like a noodle and pretending don’t exist sometimes.”

She smiles, laughing through her nose, “that’s valid, well, have a good bath I’ll just be out here.”

“It’s big enough for both of us?”

“Taking a bath together seems a little bit more than friendly?” She teases him slightly, hoping it’s not too much.

“Yeah so is having sex with each other 53 times,” he teases back.

“We have not?”

He nods with a smile, “we really have, I can’t forget.”

She just shakes her head in amazement, “I’m not a big fan of uneven numbers.”

“Me either,” he said as he turned the water on. Ensuring it was warm enough, before beginning to undress.

She was truly fucked if she did this. It was intimate enough to sleep naked beside him, let alone sit across from him as the bubbles dissipated and revealed everything he’s already seen, at least 53 times.

She gets in first, just rushing through it and taking her chances. “Can I sit between your legs like in that movie we watched that one time?”

“Pretty woman,” she knows exactly what he’s talking about and so she lets him.

She wraps her legs around him and she holds him there, scooping the water with her hands and over his chest, making sure he’s nice and warm and comfortable. Silently, she washes his chest and listens to the sounds of the water trickling and his breathing. It’s peaceful… she loves him and she wants it to be like this forever.

And then they switch, Spencer sits back against the other side of the tub and she contemplates sitting in his lap instead of between his legs. He pulls her into his lap anyway, running the soap over her carefully while ignoring her eye contact, staring mesmerized at her breasts.

“Why can’t you love me?” It slips out, she doesn’t even know why.

He looks up into her eyes and his shoulders drop, the story he tells her is one she never pictured. A stalker, and ex-fiancé, talking on the phone and never meeting in person, “and so I wanted to tell her I loved her in person. But when I finally saw her, I had to tell her I didn’t love her in order to try and save her. And then she died. She died thinking I didn’t love her.”

“I'm sure she knew,” Y/N whispers back to him. “It’s hard to talk to you for over a year and not feel a little loved by you.”

He nods, “I mean…” he shrugs. “I do, but not the way you want me to.”

Not yet. She thinks, she doesn’t want to wait forever for him but she’s willing to wait just a little bit longer. “That’s okay,” she lies rather convincingly. “Can we go for 54 now?”

He nods, leaning in, he kisses her neck gently as wet hands roam her back. She sighs, if this was the last time they did this, she was going to make it last. Grinding against him, making the water slosh as his kisses moved down her body. “Let’s take this to the bedroom.”

—

January 31st, 2016

“What does it say?” Her coworker, Heather, whispered through the gap in the stall door.

“It’s not done yet.”

“It’s been at least 3 minutes, “how could you not know by now? Come on, open the door.”

She hands her the test from under the door, “you look then.”

When she opens the stall door and returns to the main room, Heather is tilting the test in different directions under the light, “I don’t want to alarm you but there is definitely a second line here. And it’s getting darker by the second.”

“Fuck,” she sighs, dropping her shoulders and covering her face with her hands. “Fuck!” She screams it a bit louder. Not giving a fuck that they’re in a target public bathroom. “I literally have no clue how this happened?”

“well—

“I know the fucking biology… we’re not stupid,” she can’t stop shaking suddenly.

“It’s okay?” Heather rubs her back, “we’ll figure it out, I’m not leaving your side, even if that asshole of a fuck buddy leaves you. I’m not going anywhere.”

“He’s not an asshole,” she’s defensive, taking the test back from her and looking for herself. There was definitely a line. “His mom just got diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, his best friend is being threatened by hitmen and his last girlfriend fucking died, it’s not his fault that he’s not emotionally capable of loving me back.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Heather scoffs. “What’s he going to do when he finds out you’re having his kid? How are you going to explain to them that daddy doesn’t know how to love anymore?”

“You don’t know him,” she shoves the test in her purse and washes her hands angrily. “Can we just go back to work before we get in trouble?”

“Yeah,” Heather sighs, holding the door for her and following her out of the target.

The drive to work is quiet, she heads back into the nursery and picks up the first fussy baby she can find, rocking them with a sad smile on her face. “It’s okay, shhh,” she whispers. “I know, you must have so many feelings you don’t understand yet. But it’s okay.”

The little guy stops crying, looking up at her and wrapping his fist around her finger and she can’t help herself from whispering her feelings to him. “The world is so big and scary right now, but you’re growing and learning and moving forward every day, and every day it gets easier.”

Crying to herself, unsure if it’s her anxiety about the situation or the fact that she’s pregnant. But it sucks to feel this way. Helpless, unloveable, a burden. But she can imagine Spencer feels the exact same way, fearful of the future, expecting a repeat of the past… but she’s not going anywhere and she doesn’t know how to make him realize that.

Permanent tag list

@goldensonlyangel @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @shemarmooresfedora @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @blanchardsbk @measure-in-pain @dreams-in-blxck @doc-padfoot @nomajdetective @xoxospencerreid @mggswhorificlover @dinonuggets1967 @meganskane @kya-li @reidsbookclub @muffin-cup @sassymoon @shirleyrose @reidsacademia @this-is-doctor-and-its-calm @spooky-goob @strawberryspence @thatsonezesty13 @lonewolf471 @cmvibess @a-mended-pact @ssa-uglywhore27

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Twenty Percent

Pairing: Spencer Reid x BAUfem! Reader

Category: Hurt/Comfort

TW: Eating disorder (First of all: SUPER trigger warning. There’s a portion of this near the end where it’s Y/N’s internal monologue regarding eating and…it’s a lot. If you’ve struggled with eating disorders, I just want you to be aware because that portion was a bit difficult to write. Also, just to be clear, this is something I have personally dealt with a bit. Everyone’s experience differs. This is based on my experiences with relapsing after recovery from an eating disorder. I was tempted to look up various eating disorder relapse symptoms, but this felt way more authentic. With that in mind, please be respectful. These are real feelings, these are real issues, etc.)

Another repost because I’m actually writing a sequel to this fic (it was just going to be a blurb and then I remembered that I had this backlogged. I read it again and decided to repost and make the blurb into a sequel). I chose this gif (from @zhuzhubii ) because I imagine him really young when this relationship begins. This is still probably the most personal thing I’ve ever written; I hope you all like it! xx 

~ There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a mirror that doesn’t matter anymore. - Laurie Halse Anderson ~

It is the medically underweight line on the physical that almost does him in. Spencer is a relatively lanky guy, always getting taller before he can gain any kind of weight. At his yearly FBI-mandated physical examination, everything is fine, except for the fact that he needs to gain around 20-25 pounds and “lay off the coffee”. He thinks nothing of it. And in two weeks following his physical, he lives as he usually does, five to six coffees a day with more sugar than is deemed appropriate, and very little food intake….until Rossi and Hotch call him into Hotch’s office.

“Reid,” Hotch says very seriously, eyeing Reid’s coffee cup with disdain, “if you don’t gain at least fifteen pounds in two months, we have to pull you from field work.”

“Hotch, it’s fine-”

“It really isn’t,” interrupts Rossi. “Why don’t you come over and I’ll teach you-”

“I can’t afford or maintain a menu like yours, Rossi,” admits Spencer. “I don’t really know how to cook so I just…don’t. And sometimes I forget to eat, which is-” A small knock on the doorframe interrupts the men.

“So sorry to interrupt,”you say, “but I was wondering if you’d been able to find the second page of the report on the third victim from the Lassiter case?”

“Oh, of course,” says Hotch. He looks through his desk and stands to look on the cabinet behind him.

“How many cups is that, Doctor?”

Spencer gulps loudly before he turns to look at you, attempting to maintain an even gaze despite the flush he felt rising to his cheeks. Aside from the fact that you are already one of the most beautiful girls Spencer knows, you also happen to be wearing a light lilac blouse and pretty white skirt. Both of which are doing some wonderful things for Spencer’s imagination. You also insist on calling him “Doctor” which, to his mind, should be damn near illegal.

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Angel - Chapter 19

Part 18

Couple: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader Category: Fluff, angst, slow burn, running themes of domestic abuse Era: Season 15 and beyond Spencer Word Count: 2,201 Warnings for the chapter: spoilers for A Nightmare on Elm Street (the first one)

Chapter Nineteen

Spencer exhales as he steps out of the SUV, go bag in hand. He walks around to the other side of the vehicle, eyes landing on Y/n. The team had gotten done with the case a couple hours ago, the unsub caught and in custody. He and Y/n had woken up earlier that morning, Y/n still wrapped up in Spencer’s arms.

He didn’t really know what was wrong with her last night—but he knew that she wasn’t really okay. Something was off yesterday, but he didn’t want to push her. Whatever it is she’s going through, if she ends up trusting him enough, he’ll know in time. But for now, he’s content with just being there for her.

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Angel - Chapter 14

Part 13

Couple: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader Category: Fluff, angst, slow burn, running themes of domestic abuse Era: Season 15 and beyond Spencer Word Count: 1,592 Warnings for the chapter: mentions of violence, blood

Chapter Fourteen

“Luke, let me down!”

Spencer breaks out of Luke’s hold, straightening his gray button down, little splatters of blood coloring the shirt red. Luke had dragged him outside, the rest of the team following. The air is cold, but Spencer doesn’t really feel it as he walks over to Y/n. She’s crying—tears still streaming down her face. Her forehead cut reopened, little streams of blood leaking down her face into her eyebrow.

He bends down, his hands moving to gently cup her face. He doesn’t want to hurt her. His eyes search her face, noticing the way she winces when he touches her jaw. He moves that hand away, eyes resting on her neck. Her older bruises are going to have new ones from how hard Owen was choking her.

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Angel - Chapter 1

Disclaimer | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Part 24 | Part 25 | Part 26 | Part 27 | Part 28 | Epilogue

Couple: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader Category: Fluff, angst, slow burn, running themes of domestic abuse Era: Season 15 and beyond Spencer Fic Word Count: 57.4k Chapter Word Count: 1,897

PLEASE READ THE DISCLAIMER BEFORE STARTING THIS FIC. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 

Chapter One

She’s always quiet.

That’s the first thing Spencer Reid noticed about Y/n when she joined the team a few months ago. She comes to work, she does her paperwork, and she leaves. And if there was a case, she’d give her input—very intelligent input, might Spencer add. She’s smart, that’s another thing about her he’d noticed early on. As well as intelligent, she’s good in the field. Fast reflexes. A natural.

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Sticks and Stones Masterlist

Chapters coming soon!

Find my masterlist here. Requests are closed.

Taglist is closed.

This is straight from the brain of the lovely @a-mended-pact and between her ideas and my writing I think we’ve created something pretty good here, I hope you think so too! At the moment I don’t know how many chapters this will be, ones listed below are the ones I have written.

Summary: Spencer Reid doesn’t believe in love, not after he watched the love of his life die in front of him.

Y/N doesn’t believe in happy endings, not after spending eleven years in an abusive relationship.

Both of them have had their hearts shattered beyond repair. But can two broken people make each other whole? Can Spencer and Y/N take the shards of their hearts and piece them together?

Stick and stones may break their bones, but can the right person heal a broken heart?

Prologue - IDK You Yet

Chapter 1 - Lost Boy

Chapter 2 - Dollhouse

Chapter 3 - Read All About It

Chapter 4 - Treat You Better

Chapter 5 - Long Way To Happy

Chapter 6 - Carefully

Chapter 7 - Cover Me In Sunshine

Chapter 8 - Issues

Chapter 9 - Death of a Batchelor

Chapter 10 - This Side of Paradise

Chapter 11 - Believe it or Not

Chapter 12 - Come My Way

Chapter 13 - That Kind of Love

Chapter 14 - We’re in Heaven

Chapter 15 - Masterpiece

Chapter 16 - Somewhere Only We Know

Chapter 17 - Not Afraid Anymore

Chapter 18 - Puppeteer

Chapter 19 - Promises

Chapter 20 - Sometimes

Chapter 21 - Angels Like You

Chapter 22 - This is Gospel

Chapter 23 - I Really Wish I Hated You

Chapter 24 - State of Grace

Chapter 25 - Happy

Chapter 26 - Story of Another Us

Epilogue - Fetish

Playlists

Social Media - Facebook

Social Media - Instagram

Social Media - Messages

Social Media - Prologue, Chp 1 & Chp 2

Sticks and Stones taglist -

@lilmrspayne96

@radtwinkie

@scarletstarrs

@tvandfanfic

@flipperpenguins

@jswessie187

@drayshadow

@rem-ariiana

@shemarmooresfedora

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Angel - Chapter 11

Part 10

Couple: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader Category: Fluff, angst, slow burn, running themes of domestic abuse Era: Season 15 and beyond Spencer Word Count: 2,090 Warnings for the chapter: mild violence

Chapter Eleven

Spencer’s back protests as he sits up on the couch, groggily blinking. It’s been three days since Y/n had started staying at Spencer’s, and he refuses to let her sleep on the couch. Does he miss his bed? Yes. But a good night’s sleep is the least of his problems right now. Plus, they’ve watched seasons four and five of Game of Thrones together.

He slowly gets off the couch before heading into his bedroom. The bed is empty, his bathroom door shut. The shower’s running—she’s obviously showering. Spencer’s big brain, though sleepy, can deduce that much. He shuffles to his dresser, putting on some deodorant, and he’s setting it back down on the dresser when he hears it.

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hey whores you get a real wednesday fic today and yes it IS the fic that everyone’s been asking about for weeks so that’s coming at 10pm BST

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manus wearing the green kit today :')

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Like A Virgin (Spencer x Reader)

Got an anonymous request for Spencer + fluff + dry humping.

Gotta tag @jillys-feral-fandoms in this one; your message (about sex acts that are seriously underrepresented in fic) was what inspired this whole week’s theme, so. Yeah. Here you go! 

Also tagging @spacedikut​ and @homoose​, just cause I think y’all might enjoy it! 

525 words, PG-13. 

You’re fully aware that Spencer is a virgin, but he sure as hell doesn’t move like one. 

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You control me (even if it's just tonight)

Prompt: Y/N and the BAU’s team are enjoying a night out at Rossi’s.

Sex is the main topic of the night. Morgan and Y/N tease Spencer about him being “too adorable, too vanilla”, so… he has to prove he’s not.

Rating: M (smut, rough sex)

Warnings: oral sex (female receiving), hair pulling, spanking, gagging, fingering, choking, over-stimulation, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie. .

.

Check out my masterlist here.

  The night is on your lips and I feel like I’m locked in There’s a million lights, I don’t care if they’re watching Your body is saying everything, I don’t have to read your mind

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Aftercare

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: 515

Warnings: implicit smut, fluff

Summary: The best thing about Spencer being a Dom is the aftercare, and how much he shows he loves you.

Square Filled: aftercare (2020 and 2021) for @cm-kinkbingo​

Author’s Note: feedback is important

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Clueless (Part 10): Healing (Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader)

(Not my gif)

——————

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10

——————

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader; Spencer Reid x Valerie Smith; Spencer Reid x Himself (time to heal my boy).

Summary: Spencer must take responsibility for his life, even if it means opening old wounds and a side of him he didn’t like. Reader is also looking for a new beginning.

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Angst/Hurt. Mention to sex (not described). TW: mention of psychological imbalance. Description of psychological trauma and distressing symptoms. Description of physical injuries and anger crisis.

A/N: There is one last part, my friends. What do you think will happen at the end? Reader and Spencer could get a chance? Tell me what do think. You already know, every like, reblog, and comment makes my day!

——————

“No, I don’t love you anymore. And you have to let me go for good. Please.” (Y/N)’s words plagued Spencer’s mind and repeated over and over.

Spencer didn’t want to return to his apartment yet, so he walked to the nearest park he found. Fresh air maybe could help him because he was feeling choky.

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