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rainbowdinosaur · 4 years ago

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Sex stuff you probably won’t learn from fanfiction and/or porn:

Erotic fic and porn can be a lot of fun! But if you aren’t being provided with adequate sex ed through other channels (comprehensive sexual education, frank and open discussions with trusted adults, etc.), turning to fanfic and porn for your understanding of sex is gonna leave some major blindspots and may leave you with some unrealistic expectations. While there’s nothing wrong with these kinds of erotica, they are fictional and tend to leave out a lot of the more realistic, human parts of sex - they serve a great purpose, but that purpose isn’t primarily educational. The following is an incomplete list of some things you should probably know about sex that a lot of fic and porn tends to leave out:

It isn’t always super hot or super sweet. Sometimes it’s super silly. Or sometimes it’s sort of mundane and you’re both simply scratching an itch. That’s fine too. (Hell, sometimes you’re talking about comic books while boning and your partner is laughing that you’re getting REALLY ANGRY about spider-man while they’re going to town on you.)

You will probably not climax at the same moment. It’s a sweet idea, but extremely hard to coordinate, and if all your concentration is going into coming at the exact same moment, you’re probably not enjoying yourselves as much as you might.

Sometimes bodies make weird, goofy noises. Squelching, slapping, air-escaping, un-sexy noises. It’s okay to laugh at this.

Hell, it’s okay to laugh during sex in general.

Sometimes you fart. Sometimes you fart while someone is going down on you and it is embarrassing as hell. This isn’t the end of the world. Embarrassing body things happen. Heck, sometimes, with anal, there’s a little poo. You get over it.

Sometimes sex is… kinda bad? This doesn’t mean it’s assault, or something traumatic – sometimes it’s consensual but just kinda bleh and not what you hoped for. The best thing to do (if you’re talking about sex with a partner and not just a hook up who you can not call back) is talk to them about it. Figure out what went wrong, what you enjoy and what you don’t, and communicate what techniques you do and don’t like. Also don’t be afraid to stop someone in the middle of the sex act you’re not enjoying and offer guidance on how to help make it good for you too. (Side tip: masturbation makes great research into what you personally do and don’t enjoy sexually)

You won’t enjoy every sex act. Not every body is wired to find every thing pleasurable. You might find anal does nothing for you. You may find g-spot stimulation just makes you really anxious that you’re about to pee. You may not enjoy giving or receiving oral. You’re not broken if you don’t like something that every pornstar or smutty fanfic protagonist seems to have earth-shattering orgasms from. Everyone’s got nerve endings in a range of places – it’s quite literally, different strokes for different folks.

On that note, not all orgasms are earth-shattering. Sometimes it just feels warm and nice. That’s fine too.

Sometimes, if you’re neutral on a sex act and your partner loves it, you can suck it up for them, and they’ll suck up something they’re not crazy about for your pleasure in return. But communicate preferences with each other! Know that when a partner does that thing you love that they don’t get much from, that it’s an act of care, and vice versa.

Falling asleep in each other’s arms right after wild passionate sex seems really romantic, but dried and crusty fluids are gonna be a bitch in the morning. Also, after sex, you should both (regardless of your equipment) go pee to clear out the urethra of any gunk or bacteria to reduce risk of a UTI.

Putting a towel down on the bed before sex means you don’t have to sleep on wet funky sheets. (it’s also verrrrrry useful for period sex if you or your partner menstruate.)

A lot of people don’t like dirty talk, or rough sex. Always ask first. (Fanfic on the whole does a better job than porn at showing communication, but a lot of it is still highly fictive on this point)

PROTECTION PROTECTION PROTECTION. Use condoms, dental dams, etc. not just to prevent pregnancy, but to reduce risk of STIs. (Yes, even couples with the same genitals who don’t need to worry about pregnancy).

Lube is great and very important, but random goopy things around you are not good lube. Random oils especially, since oil doesn’t flush out well and can trap bacteria inside the body – oil-based lubricant also degrades condoms. Use lube specifically designed for intimate purposes. Water-based and silicone-based lubes help sex feel really good!

Bigger isn’t necessarily better. A lot of people with vaginas don’t enjoy the feeling of being repeatedly punched in the cervix by a monster cock. Some people enjoy a larger size when being penetrated by an appendage or toy and some don’t.

Bodies are hairy. Genitals are hairy. You may get a pube stuck in your teeth at some point. If your partner is WAY fuzzier than porn ever led you to believe they’d be, well, that’s normal.

Not everyone loves the taste of ejaculate. Sometimes it’s nasty (flavor tends to vary from person to person depending on their diet, but sometimes you just really don’t like it no matter what. Some of us hate the taste of peanut butter. People don’t always like things). It’s okay not to swallow, or to request a penis-having partner warn you so they don’t ejaculate in your mouth (in fact, it’s polite for them to do the latter).

If you’re gonna have shower sex, get one of those rubbery mats for the shower floor that gives you traction, because otherwise it’s super embarrassing to call for an ambulance while dripping wet and naked because you slipped and accidentally broke something and your partner got a concussion while you were trying to bang in the shower.

Moaning and screaming wildly during sex is fun but it will make the neighbors in the apartments adjacent to you hate you. Make choices accordingly.

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rainbowdinosaur · 4 years ago

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Could you pretty pretty pretty please tell us all about how you got fingered at work? 😇I'm very much an angel but u make me want to be really really slutty for you!! I think if anyone could do it, it would be you 😍😍😍

Okay, okay, okay…sooo we share a desk - have I mentioned that before?? I feel like I haven’t lol. We do reception and secretarial work at this company so yea we share this desk. Like ever since we’ve started hooking up it isn’t unusual for us to be found sitting closer than usual and casually touching each other under the desk has been a common occurrence, but up until recent it’s been more innocent touches - like touches to the thigh, brushing legs and what not.

Anyways, I believe I’ve mentioned before that the dress code at this place is pretty loose. The usual outfit for either of us is leggings and a formal-casual top, but I decided to wear a skirt because for the first time in literally ages the weather was nice (I was NOT missing an opportunity like that. The weather has been very fickle lately). So we are doing our usual flirting between working and she compliments my skirt while putting her hand on my thigh. I fucking blush like a school girl because even the slightest touch from this girl sets me off and also I had literally went to the bathroom maybe 10 minutes before to ditch my panties because duh I’m horny all the time and they got soaked.

I digress…so she’s sliding my skirt up a bit and I giggle out “What are you doing?” Because okay we’ve fucked in a public parking lot but anyone could walk up to our desk. Higher risk here people.

And this little slut smiles at me and says “Nothing,” as she fucking gets her hand under my skirt and teases my thighs with her fingertips. By now I’m basically panting in anticipation because she’s prying my legs apart and anyone could walk in at any moment. And she just continues to smile and giggle as she tentatively presses a finger to my pussy lips which are already slick with my juices. She goes as far as to point that out, feigning surprise.

I spread my legs a little wider because fuck it, I always want her touching me and I’m always fucking horny. She even goes as far as to him in reverence as she slides her fingers up and down my pussy, teasing my folds, brushing my clit and making me bite my lip to keep from whimpering. I’m basically heaving because I can’t breathe, I’m that turned on and the prospect of getting caught almost makes me cum.

She mutters how much she loves how wet I get as she slides two fingers inside me and I actually moan. It’s small and almost unnoticeable but it does happen and I have to cradle my head in my hands as she alternates between fucking my pussy with her fingers and rubbing my clit. Like it feels like it went on forever when in reality I cum embarrassingly fast and no sooner than when she put her hand on my thigh is she pulling her hand out from under my skirt and making a show of licking her fingers clean.

This girl fucking messes me up, man

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rainbowdinosaur · 4 years ago

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