rain-all-the-time

[rain-all-the-time]

It’s my birthday,

Don’t fuss over me,

I will just lay here,

And cry myself to sleep.

[rain-all-the-time]

What happens when it just isn’t possible?

[rain-all-the-time]

There is this tuff, beautiful, dangerous survivor buried deep down inside of me. Sometimes she needs to come out to keep me safe. And she’s back!

[rain-all-the-time]

It’s too late for me, don’t regret your choices!

[rain-all-the-time]

Can I just find a box to hid from reality in?

[rain-all-the-time]

Try as I might to do the right thing this beautiful man just sucks me right back in.

[rain-all-the-time]

There are times that I want to do really nasty things to him. Other times I would just be happy to cuddle up with him on a swing.

[rain-all-the-time]

This is the latest on my mix tape playlist. My husband randomly sends me songs from time to time. He has no idea but I have a playlist I call Mix Tape. It reminds me of the old days when guys would make us mix tapes. Sometimes it’s the little things that keep you going forward.

[rain-all-the-time]

I believed I could change my stars, I was wrong. Everything I have done throughout my life to change things was for nothing. None of it matters since Covid struck. They say I should be grateful for what I have, they say I should accept things. I have never been one to accept things, if I don’t like something I go out and change it. I have been trying to change things since March and I’m not getting anywhere except tired. Silly girl....

[rain-all-the-time]

Maybe one day someone will come along who see’s me...

[rain-all-the-time]

Nothing I do is right....

[rain-all-the-time]

I give everything I have,

I hide the rain with a smile,

I pretend to be brave,

Mile after mile...

Ask for help,

Get told to power through,

Thank you 2020,

For giving me a mask to hide behind.

Please don’t take my mask away.

[rain-all-the-time]

Let’s sail away to the stars.

[rain-all-the-time]

When you are dying inside but your employer expects you to have peak attitude and leave your problems at home.

[rain-all-the-time]

When you have to turn down an interview for a good paying job because your newly sober daughter partied with the manager and has spent the last year avoiding him. At what point does a mother start getting to have her own life?

[rain-all-the-time]

Who am I? Once I was a wife, then he started going away to work. Then I was a mother, she grew up. I was a travel agent, then the world went to hell. Now I am lost and no one sees me. Who am I?

[rain-all-the-time]

When you accidentally find feelings for someone on the other side of the planet.

“Sure, it’s all worthless—but I still want you to be mine.”

— s.s. (stephenstilwell)