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“Growth is painful. Change is painful.But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.”

— Mandy Hale

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Lets talk about adult acne Do you sleep enough? Do you eat the right foods? Are you wearing sunscreen?

Do you believe in acids like AHA or BHA Retinols on a dry skin at night, Vitamin C in the am,  Slather on Serums a moisturizer that promises to erase everything? Don’t forget sunscreen, and eye cream and eyebrow wax. Smile lines, dark spots, swollen glands and red spots.

Lets talk about skin. Its what we live in  Its shows where we’ve been

What about miscarriage and cystic scars? Hormones and late nights at bars? Stress and no more gluten. Bills and covid weekends.

Late nights that end at sunrise. Family members that make your heart beat fast and blood pressure constrict. Conversations in your mind that keep you up past five. I don’t know where to begin. Nicotine stains on your two front teeth...

Cold sweats and body outlines in bedsheets.

Lets talk about our skin

Our sin

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I'm going to start writing slowly and nobody follows this account so might as well start small.

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pronunciation | ‘red-a-“man-sE

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Fuck men Fuck them all.

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I bought a book and I didn't put my name in it Its pages are crisp, creamy, and clean Clear of words, phrases, and drunk metaphors that don't mean a thing The cover is hard and feels safe to hold Different than any other book I have ever held before.

It’s pages have no lines It’s a book with no guides No rules for my words that always seems to be careening off (to) it’s sides.

Im going to fill this book with all the words I can muster! Every single page. Every single space. Nothing will be left unspoiled. 

This book is a gift. From me to me, I love myself. To free the words I have inside The words I so often let (wither and) die Finally I have place for my words hide A new safe place from them to stay alive.

(p.s. I dont intend to write about the punctuations Ive erased but every time I do I remember your face)

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I dont know how to act around you anymore.

I am scared of you and Ive never felt more insecure.

I find you amazing and more loving than any man I have ever known before.

But soon ill find out if you’ve also forced onto me something one hundred percent incurable. 

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Angus & Julia Stone || Big Jet Plane

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Sometimes people think they know you. They know a few facts about you, and they piece you together in a way that makes sense to them. And if you don’t know yourself very well, you might even believe that they are right. But the truth is, that isn’t you. That isn’t you at all.

Leila Sales, “This Song Will Save Your Life” (via skeletales)

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First. Not last, but hey.

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Speak with diction Speak with cadence With conviction With fight with a mission Speak with words that take flight Use words in your jurisdiction True and right: words with decisive decision  Sing when you like Share with delight But please:

speak, scream, shout,

MERCY ME, DEAR GOD, FELLOW FUCKING PLEASE

bellow , rage, rant, rave, your words into 

the night.

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The slow walk, the measured pace You’ve been waiting for this day The constant amble One foot then the next Your mother’s kind reminders Stay upright keep a steadfast gate Your father’s gentle guidance Tread light then rip into the race You start to pick up your pace Foot falls slowly transform into a drummer art A marching bands cadence The preamble to a steadfast run A Gallup, a canter, howsoever you bring a horse to a sprint Your doing that now And your breath starts to create a steady breeze That THANK GOODNESS is slowly warming you face Now your running. No in fact you are sprinting Step step left right left left You start to zigzag with the wind your speed creates And just when you dare to doubt all you are At this valiant moment You turn your head Don’t trip don’t fall don’t fall fall fall Keep up this dash it’s your fate Left right left right right right Keep your arms just right Hands clenched tight Eyes bright (look) Your kite is (now) in flight.

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I destroyed the cadence I massacred the pace My hearts pace seemed to mess up The simple rate of my words poor slurred state. But if you asked me if I’d done it I’d smile broadly and say You heard the words of a child Explaining how she sees the day.