radicalshadow

[radicalshadow]

put a finger down if you were just talking to your 70 year old dad and one thing led to another and you ended up having to sheepishly explain omegaverse and he was asking more and more questions so eventually you were standing with your face fully covered stammering out “a-and they go into… heat… cycles…” but he was still curious so now you’re listening to him read reddit posts about mpreg and yaoi aloud at your kitchen table

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guy who has ibuprofen: I have ibuprofen if you need it btw

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You were born with the unique power to see the most interesting "stat" of a person floating over their head. For most, it's stuff like "TIMES WON GAMES OF POKER: 43," or "PROMISES BROKEN: 105." Today, you glance up at someone sitting nearby to see "EXTRATERRESTRIALS KILLED: 27."

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Meanwhile, on the boxed set of Twin Peaks I paid $49.99 for with the worst captioning I've seen in my life

[radicalshadow]

by Amos Stillwell

[radicalshadow]

[radicalshadow]

when ur friend gets a shitty new haircut and ur afraid to say anything

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[radicalshadow]

[radicalshadow]

Boyfriend tells me I’m banned from fixing things around the house now >:(

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[radicalshadow]

My personal brand of humor is "horrible, useless advice delivered in an authoritative way" and this is the result of it

[radicalshadow]

way back in 10th grade i had gym class with a scary girl with neon green & black hair who chewed flavored condoms like chewing gum and once showed me a picture of her boyfriend's back scratched completely bloody. she only ever addressed me as "eyeliner." one day i asked why.

"cuz of your big gay stupid pretty eyelashes"

"....shouldn't it be 'mascara,' then?"

"shut up, eyeliner."

anyway that's why i'm gay now

[radicalshadow]

Walter wide was many things but it is extremely funny how he neglected his own flesh and blood teenage son in order to be an even worse father to a wholly different guy

[radicalshadow]

[radicalshadow]

For sale: ship of theseus

Condition: used, like new