radiant-crimson

[radiant-crimson]

"draw your favs like this," they said

[radiant-crimson]

i love the 😌 and 😔 emojis so much because they convey such specific emotions, but also those emotions are absolutely not "relieved" and "pensive"

[radiant-crimson]

Alex Keller in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 09/?

[radiant-crimson]

theres a shocking amount of years between 2019 and 2024

[radiant-crimson]

[radiant-crimson]

Happy birthday to my boy my child my sweet baby my darling. He has many crimes but he's perfect nonetheless.

[radiant-crimson]

“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.

[radiant-crimson]

I don't think I've ever shared this story before but I desperately need to

So my family- Me, two of my parents, and my swarm of brothers- were out for a day in the city, right? And we came across this juggling busker dressed as Darth Vader

And all my brothers LOVE star wars, so of course we stop

And Vader says something during his performance, right? And one of my brothers- maybe about seven years old at the time- asks what's wrong with his voice. Because he doesn't have the classic Vader voice.

And the buskers says- in what I assume was his best impression- "My voice modulator has been compromised"

And my brother- who is, again, about seven years old- stone-faced and without even a HINT of amusement- tells him, "You have failed me for the last time" and raises his hand to force-choke the guy

Dude fucking CHOKES and falls to the ground. No hesitation. Drops everything. Full-on Shakespeare performance. Apologizes to my brother like he's fucking Palpatine

And my brother doesn't laugh. Just nods solemnly to this grown ass man while we all lose it, and then "lets him go".

And then we leave, the moment cemented into the family lore forever

Anyhoe God bless you juggling Darth Vader, may the force be with you

[radiant-crimson]

Veronica: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers?

Alfonse: Peonies, why?

Veronica: ...

Alfonse: Were you going to get me flowers?

Veronica: ...

Alfonse: ...

Veronica: ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ

[radiant-crimson]

“Oh, I was born in the wrong era -“ shut the fuck up, no you weren’t.

But if I was born ten years earlier I would have absolutely killed it on CBBC.

[radiant-crimson]

[radiant-crimson]

Commission!

[radiant-crimson]

I think there's something to be said that saying the words "Deny, Defend, Depose, you're next" to an insurance sales rep can get you arrested for 'threats of mass homicide' or whatever with a threat of 15 years in prison

But when I was a manager in a fast food restaurant I've had customers throw food at me, demand for my personal phone number with an added threat of "Well I'll just have to FIND it", customers charging past the front counter to physically intimidate me and my coworkers, screaming and swearing, demands to know what time I get out of work, demands to know when my manager would be at work as a threat, people sitting in their car waiting for me to finish closing because they were angry at me, causing me to stay in the office watching the camera waiting for them to drive away...

But none of those incidents are arrest-able offenses, not one, any time I called the cops on any customer I would just hear excuses like " "there isn't anything illegal about calling a restaurant", that nothing physical happened and therefore there's nothing they could do, to call back and let them know if anything else happens

Idk, just think it's A TEENY TINY BIT ODD

Cop in the news goes "words have consequences" as if people don't berate and threaten fast food and retail workers every day

[radiant-crimson]

luigi mangione, the SUSPECTED (innocent until proven guilty) united healthcare shooter, has been charged with terrorism. that’s right. a man who supposedly shot ONE SINGLE PERSON is being charged with terrorism. because in america, billionaires lives matter enough that a SINGLE rich man’s death is considered a terrorist act against this country. think about that.

[radiant-crimson]

[radiant-crimson]

The gift that keeps on giving 💝

[radiant-crimson]

winning card