rachmeetspugs

[rachmeetspugs]

What I learned from my first job

When I first arrived to Mexico and encountered problems getting into my “dream job” then, I felt downcast and questioned my purpose for being in Mexico. I was worried of being “one of those gullible galz” who made bad decisions for her boyfriend. At that point of time I started thinking that I had a left a good paying job with many perks for a life of uncertainty and risk. I knew I would not be able to get a job as well paying in Mexico- 1 million pesos a year (I would be a millionaire in Mexico MUAHAHHAHAHA jk), plus the chance to wine and dine with business leaders (some clients have been really nice, honest and funny and I enjoyed talking to them), work on projects that matter to a booming and corruption-free country and undertake free interesting courses. 

But then I remembered how fatigued I was, emotionally and physically,  planning for “courtesy call” meetings, and constantly feeling fear of saying the wrong thing or the right thing in a wrong way. And more importantly, I felt in my heart and an urging from God that my season in the organisation was done for now and He showed me His purpose for me in Mexico (a story for another time). However, through it all, I’ve always held on to the belief that I was placed in the organisation by God’s will because I felt a sense of peace and delight, as the job indeed tapped on my interest areas- negotiation, agriculture, animals and doing good. I wasn’t the the top few in my cohort but I thank God for the favour I had from the bosses, and where God led me to do my unpaid internship with an agri-ingredient business in Mexico. It so happened that I was insistent about the position in the organisation, and I happened to know someone who was working as an Intern with the division I as going to enter. He helped to bridge the connection and I believe gave testimony of my character, being a very capable guy, that helped in some way, I suppose. 

The aquanutrition project was one of the most emotionally and physically challenging project to-date. Although I have a learned a lot from my mentor and boss and have noted some of her analytical, direct and persuasive habits and process of thinking, I felt my ego and feelings bashed and badly bruised during the process. I remember the weekends that I had to send her a report to edit and vet, and every time I sent it over, I texted her and had a few hours break. When she replied, with many, many, MANY comments, I had a fixed amount of time to send it back again, text her and the process would repeat. Every iteration wore me out mentally, and I remember we had 20+ revisions. At the end of the report I remembered she said to me that she felt that she wrote more of it than me, I felt sick hearing that. While studying for consulting roles in my recent days, I experienced some flash backs of her advice and correction on certain things that are important for the roles I am applying for. While I do wish there had been an easier way to do this, I appreciated the sharpening I’ve experienced that has made me who I am now. 

I think I remember her advice on being more “thick-skinned” about mistakes and generally being so at work during one of our reflections and heart-to-heart sessions, I think that’s very good advice. Recently I had been reading a book about crossroads as a Christian, and the the author gave the advice of being open-minded. I have always thought of myself as an open-minded person, but when he defined open-minded as people who focus on improving and becoming better, and closed minded people as people who focus on their feelings and their egos, I realised that I have been quite closed-minded based on this definition. I think my mentor might have sensed this trait from me and wanted to push me beyond this limitation. I can see why this is a limitation because being self-conscious and egoistic can limit one from doing what God wants us to do and what needs to be done. To be honest I’m still constantly struggling with this, but I think I am gaining a lot more progress.

I think if I can take one very strong lesson from my time in this organisation is to be more open-minded and “thick-skinned”. I definitely learned many more things from different bosses and colleagues in the organisation but I think this would be the most important lesson for me. This lesson has helped me to pick myself up when I fail in the interviews of the jobs I want, to ask for the jobs I want, and to continue putting in effort to learn new skills every day, and to keep an open mind to jobs and offers. When I first started work in the organisation, I asked God, “what is my purpose here?” And I got the answer that I was here to  “serve my boss well”. It was a strange purpose because after a month I started at the organisation, my direct boss quit and I was left without a boss for a while and had to report to the boss higher up. Then I thought maybe he’s the one I need to serve, but later I had another manager. However, now I think it’s not just about serving the bosses well, but how I go about it. My ego had been a limiting factor in my service and I’m glad I got to realise this through my “service” with my mentor. Maybe she’s the boss I was supposed to serve. My ego had been following me for as long as I remember, and I think it is time to put it down and think about how I can be better person every day - capabilities-wise and character-wise.