rachelchinouriri

[rachelchinouriri]

01-11-24

Good Morning!

I usually journal in my book but today's my birthday and I've decided I'll do my first public journal before I disappear for a little bit. I just want people to remember that I have still committed to the task even though I will be away from my phone for my birthday haha! I'm grateful I woke up today because it's my birthday today. I can honestly say turning 25 has been my favourite part of my life. This has been the best year of my life. I feel like I am unrecognisable from the person I was at 24. I have stopped drinking completely which honestly has improved my mental and physical health, but it has forced me to gain real courage (not liquid courage). I started and stopped smoking at 24 (your girl was stressed out) and I had 1 cigarette this year (lol in April while drunk). I have continuously gone to the gym 4-5 times a week without fail, even with the most insane schedule ... the only days I missed were when I was at the airport at 5am simply because the gym was closed. I have journaled every day in the morning since January (Including airport days). It has truly been the best year of my life because I feel like I can honestly and truthfully say that when I turned 25 I turned up for myself. I have shown myself that I CAN trust myself which I feel like I never could do before. It's also been many years of me trying to fufill these habits but it just didn't click until I was 25. I am proud of myself for once ... I can actually say I am proud of myself for one of the first times in my life. I am grateful for my ability to want try and change my negative mindset into a positive one. I was so full of misery and always saying that I wanted to die, or saying I'll never find a good man or always panicking about my career and I guess speaking positively, even if you don't believe it, has actually worked in my favour. I am beyond grateful and proud of myself but it's so hard to type that out (still) because there will always be a negative self doubt voice at the back of my head... but I am grateful he is now at the back of my head instead of being at the front and centre. I don't know what 26 looks like to me but I am actually excited now to get older. My best and most fun years are ahead of me... I have always had this fear of 'getting old' but there is so much beauty in things that age. The planet ages and it gets more beautiful with time and so do people. Maybe it's because I was the youngest (and all my siblings are way older than me... I mean my oldest is in her 40s) ...but I feel like beauty and age are so wonderful. I love older people and the wisdom you get from them and their ability to just live and keep fighting through a world that I can only describe as difficult at best. I just know a lot of my fears have been from the fear of getting older and dreading age... but there are so many people who unfortunately didn't get to see my age. I think about my niece all the time and the world we could've given her and it just reminds me that life is by chance but death is certain. Death is certain and can come at any time so the time I do get to have, I want to fill it with love and memories and peace. How can we fear getting older but also fear death at the same time? If I want to stay young then death should be a friend I welcome... when I started thinking like that, I obviously very quickly realised I do not want to die and actually I do want to get older, so here I am... getting old haha. I'm grateful I have hit this mindset because when I sat in the pits of darkness, I never saw this day coming but I will never regret my deepest depression. I have been there, sat in it, went through it and it makes a day like today feel amazing. Truly amazing. I will never let anything pull me back there... never...not a man, a human, a society, my race, my gender, my past...nothing. Anyways, I am now heading off to my 7am session with my friend then having breakfast. I feel grateful and amazing for today and I am so lucky to exist today in this world today. I am so lucky and will never take this life for granted again

r

[rachelchinouriri]

Hello Darlings, I guess this is a dump but not the dump I was asked for but still a dump. I find it so exhausting sometimes how much posting is required to be able to sustain the work you put in as a musician. It’s actually a lot and quite anxiety inducing and I hate the idea of just “not using” the internet just because I’ll lose a massive part of what I love about it… you guys… I love DMing you guys, I love commenting with you guys… I love journal club… I love reading letters and I’ve actually wrote a lot back but just haven’t posted them lol… but I feel like theirs always just a new app and a new online requirement and being a musician is already quite the schedule (no matter what level yours at, it’s a lot of work mentally and emotionally and physically - I’d like to emphasise it’s a LOT of work and not HARD work , we aren’t doctors). I am commited to trying to make an environment/ fanbase which can exist whether I’m on or off the internet and that I can still remain connected to you. I think this is why I really am excited to do the journal club. I enjoy letters. I enjoy scrapbooking and candle making with you guys… it feels more fun, real and normal than just going viral (which I always want to happen, but chasing virality is what’s exhausting… going viral is great… but the work to go viral is so soul less) - I’m trying to think… maybe I can be viral for being pen pls with fans, journaling and just being normal… I’ve loved bumping into fans in real life and then just sitting and having a normal conversation for ages… I also feel like that has been the general vibe of my fanbase and I’m so grateful for that so I want it to continue growing in that way. I do really feel like you guys are like friends in a strange way… and that’s because of the internet … so this is why I try and not bash the internet because without it we wouldn’t have THIS. Anyways, I am grateful for the internet, we are the internet, and thank you for making my internet so safe for me… it was really not like this before so thank you x

[rachelchinouriri]

Another random one that never uploaded ffs

[rachelchinouriri]

Part 2

Sorry but tumblr is so shit for uploading… it took almost 24 hours to upload part 1…

[rachelchinouriri]

Good Morning!

For all my Journal Club Participants:

I have been asked a few times what to write or what to say on the days that you have nothing to say, so I thought I’d share my journal entry for today!

Ps: never share your journal entries but I wrote one as an example x

[rachelchinouriri]

Part 1 hi

[rachelchinouriri]

Journal Club | Hello!

I know people wanted to do a challenge together and I know it was all based around physical fitness before but I think habits are about trying to overcome internal battles and glowing from within! Stress and negative thoughts are things which actually affect us so much physically without people knowing it and journaling is a super easy to begin trying to escape a negative mindset

These challenges are simply about the consistency of showing up for yourself. If you show up, even for 1 sentence in the journal, that is good enough!. Even if you write the date and 1 word for the entire month then so be it.

I think when your entire world feels like it’s falling apart there is something to be grateful for (waking up is one…). It’s so easy to fall into a cycle of “everything is terrible” and that’s fine but I think just writing at-least 1 thing a day is a great way to start the day and I want to try and encourage everyone try it!

If you have questions feel free to comment! It officially starts on November 1st but I want everyone to be able to prepare for it! The rules are

1) you cannot unlock your phone/laptop/ipad/digital item before journaling

2) even if you have to be up early, wake up 15 minutes earlier to do it… there’s no such thing as “I don’t have time” - (not to be a show off but I had to be up at 2:45am for a flight and I woke up at 2:15 to make sure I journalled 3 pages before leaving and I felt so much better for it, if it’s so bad … go to bed 15 mins earlier hehe)

3) don’t share what you put in your journal with anyone - it’s for you and your thoughts, your journal can’t cancel you lol

4) write every negative thought that comes to mind and learn to unpack them and turn them into POSITIVE thoughts …. Then write down the positive versions of that (I.e - I felt jealous of XYZ yesterday… TURNS INTO…. I admire XYZ confidence and know I can be that one day)

5) you have to write atleast 1 thing you’re grateful for (if you have nothing, say that you’re grateful you woke up today)

My journals are from “Peter Pauper Press” and it’s called the “Gilded Floral Journal” or “Persian Grove” - Persian grove is my OG and fave

We’ll start November 1st!

www.peterpauper.com | these are the exact journals I use! Make sure you but a good pen (I use muji and have spare refills) and keep my pen in my journal! I also put my phone under my journal so the first thing I grab is the book! Ok! Speak soon! x

Comment, who’s going to join! ❤️

[rachelchinouriri]

October 1st

[rachelchinouriri]

Hiya

[rachelchinouriri]

MORNING!

[rachelchinouriri]

Final part!

[rachelchinouriri]

Part 4 is uploading: I’m going to start a book called “the artists way” which I keep hearing is life changing (if anyone else wants to buy a copy and join in!)

[rachelchinouriri]

Part 3

[rachelchinouriri]

Part 2

[rachelchinouriri]

Having an epiphany x part 1

[rachelchinouriri]

Hve breakfast and chat rubbish

[rachelchinouriri]