raccoongoddess

[raccoongoddess]

ah yes, Galavant, the musical comedy fantasy show with bangers such as

"Local King Realises He Has Zero Useful Skills"

"Gay Bar Anthem About Undressing An Oblivious Straight Guy"

"The Ruling Class Sucks, How About We Poison All Of Them"

"The Most Scathing Critique Of Representative Democracy You Will Ever Come Across"

"Yelling About How You're Going To Very Sneakily Kill Your Brother"

"Pirate Shanty: Run Aground Edition"

"Disney Princess Love Interest Duet Except The Lyrics Are About How You Barely Tolerate Each Other" (twice)

and of course

"A New Season AKA Suck It Cancellation Bear" which is the actual real title of that song and cannot be improved upon through humorous description

also have I mentioned that all of these are composed by actual real Disney composer Alan Menken, of Little Shop of Horrors, Tangled, and basically the entire Disney Renaissance fame, and wow do they sound like it

[raccoongoddess]

a lot of life can be persevered thru by secretly playing pretend in your mind the whole time

[raccoongoddess]

Putting a bloody lace handkerchief in my back pocket to indicate that I'm into Victorian tuberculosis roleplay.

[raccoongoddess]

[raccoongoddess]

Hey, no homo, but I am sitting on the broken swing set out back in the perfect, quiet, 2:00am blackness and picturing the softness of your voice and the darkness of your eyes with such perfect and terrible clarity that it feels like I'm choking on my own heartbeat.

[raccoongoddess]

"fuck it we ball" is for stress about the future "it is what it is" is for stress about the past and "this too shall pass" is for stress about the present thank you for coming to my TED talk

[raccoongoddess]

god i LOVE tv. even better when it's tv that presents relatable problems like "what if i agree to be boyfriends with the cute boy i really really like but then our relationship is great until one day something bad happens and he wants to go back to being a penguin" 💖

[raccoongoddess]

i hauve a cold

[raccoongoddess]

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and asks “Is it just me, or is it hot in here?” The other muffin says

OH MY GOD A TALKING MUFFIN!!!

[raccoongoddess]

Small joys on Tumblr:

When your notes make a perfect cat

[raccoongoddess]

Vulcan teen on Vulcan [tiktok] saying "I have just lost track of my father in the grocery store." The camera turns to show the viewers the grocery store in which almost every single older middle-aged man has a bowlcut and long robes. Camera turns back to show the teen's face which is expressionless and yet communicates all it needs to.

[raccoongoddess]

(Source)

He was 100 years old.

[raccoongoddess]

I also think that all the "um okay knives out & glass onion were good. Wrap it up now" posts are so funny. You're tripping if you think there's not going to be at least five Benoit Blanc films lol

[raccoongoddess]

[raccoongoddess]

[raccoongoddess]