qwerty40k

[qwerty40k]

HEY YOU YEAH YOU

DO YOU LIKE FAKE MARRIAGE STORIES?

DO YOU LIKE SPIES??

DO YOU LIKE SMOL CHILDREN WITH PSYCHIC POWERS???

THEN SIT THE FUCK DOWN CAUSE I HAVE A NEW MANGA FOR YOU

MEET SPY X FAMILY

THE MAN IS AGENT TWILIGHT, A SPY WHO HAS DISCARDED EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS PAST IN OrDER TO WORK FOR THE COUNTRY OF WESTALIS IN OPPOSITION TO THE COUNTRY OF OSTANIA

KINDA COLD WAR-ISH

HE KICKS ASS, HAS ALL THE GADGETS AND CAN CREATE MISSION IMPOSSIBLE-LIKE FACE-CHANGING MASKS

HE’S THE KINDA GUY YOU REALLY DON’T WANNA FUCK AROUND WITH

FOR HIS NEXT JOB HE’S GOTTA TAKE OUT A POLITICIAN WHO ONLY COMES OUT IN PUBLIC FOR HIS SON’S ELITE SCHOOL REUNIONS

AND TO INFILTRATE THAT AGENT TWILIGHT IS GONNA NEED

*DRUM THE FUCKING ROLLS*

TO ADOPT A KID!

THIS IS ANYA

SHE SMOL

SHE CUTE

SHE A RUNAWAY CHILD FROM AN UNDERGROUND EXPERIMENT THAT GAVE HER THE POWER TO READ PEOPLE’S THOUGHTS

SHE MAY HAVE HORNS, ANTENNAE OR JUST A BOW, I’M NOT SURE

SHE LEARNS TWILIGHT IS A SPY AND TRICKS HIM INTO ADOPTING HER AND THUS BEGINS THE FAKE!PARENT AND CHILD SHENANIGANS WITH A HEALTHY DOSE OF CUTE BONDING

CAN YOU FEEL THE DIABETES YET

BUT THE SCHOOL ALSO REQUIRES MEETINGS TO BE WITH BOTH PARENTS, SO TWILIGHT NEEDS TO FIND A WIFE

THUS ENTERS YORU BRIAR

SHE’S A 27-YEAR-OLD OFFICE WALLFLOWER

SHE’S AN ORPHAN WHO RAISED HER YOUNGER BROTHER ON HER OWN

SHE STICKS HER LEGGY UP REAL FAR

SHE’S ALSO A HITWOMAN UNDER THE CODENAME “THORN PRINCESS” WHO ESPECIALIZES IN KILLING LOADS OF PEOPLE WITH HUGE NEEDLES AND CAN PUNCH YOU SO HARD YOU’LL THANK HER

(SHE’S STRONGER THAN TWILIGHT TOO)

WHEN SHE LIES TO HER BROTHER ABOUT HAVING A BOYFRIEND TO GET HIM OFF HER BACK, HER BROTHER INSISTS IN MEETING THE MAN PERSONALLY AND WILL EVEN REJECT A JOB PROMOTION UNTIL THEY MEET

AND SO THESE TWO CASUALLY MEET AND WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM ANYA, WHO FINDS OUT YORU IS A HITWOMAN AND REALIZES HAVING A SPY AND A HITWOMAN FOR PARENTS WOULD BE ENTERTAINING AS ALL HELL, THEY DECIDE TO FAKE A RELATIONSHIP TO HELP EACH OTHER’S GOALS

TWILIGHT WILL PRETEND TO BE YORU’S BOYFRIEND TO GET HER BROTHER OFF HER BACK

YORU WILL PRETEND TO BE TWILIGHT’S WIFE SO ANYA CAN GET IN THE ELITE SCHOOL

BUT BECAUSE THE POLITICAL CLIMATE IS SO HEAVY WITH SUSPICION AND PEOPLE ARE BEING FALSELY ACCUSED TO BEING SPIES ALL THE TIME, THEY DECIDE TO FAKE-MARRY FOR REAL, JUST TO APPEAR LIKE A NORMAL COUPLE AND THROW SUSPICION OFF THEM AND THEIR RESPECTIVE SECRET JOBS

BUT JUST UNTIL THEY MEET THEIR GOALS RIGHT GUYS

THERE’S DEFINITELY NOT GONNA BE ANY REAL FEELINGS DEVELOPING OR ANYTHING RIGHT GUYS

YES THAT IS A GRENADE PIN TWILIGHT USED AS A WEDDING RING GUYS

AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE ACTUAL, GREATEST THING IS? NOBODY KNOWS THE OTHER PARTY’S SECRET

TWILIGHT DOESN’T KNOW YORU IS A HITWOMAN

YORU DOESN’T KNOW TWILIGHT IS A SPY

NOBODY KNOWS ANYA IS PSYCHIC

ANYA KNOWS EVERYTHING BUT PRETENDS NOT TO SO SHE CAN HAVE A FAMILY

IT’S SUCH A STUPID, HILARIOUS CLUSTERFUCK THAT WILL BLOW UP IN GOD KNOWS WHICH WAY AND I CAN’T FUCKING WAIT FOR IT

THUS FAR THERE’S TWO CHAPTERS OUT, 50 PAGES EACH. IT RELEASES ON THE MANGAPLUS APP BI-MONTHLY WHICH IS A LONG WAIT BUT OH GOD SO FUCKING WORTH IT

AND I HOPE THIS POST WILL CONVINCE MORE PEOPLE TO READ IT AND KEEP IT RUNNING FOR MANY YEARS TO COME

[qwerty40k]

Context: in our final fantasy campaign we are trying to get into the hideout of a local gang diplomatically. Our time mage with a charisma dump is currently spearheading the conversation with the bouncer. To get in we have to prove we aren’t “tries” (slang they use for people who try to help others/or/people who try too hard)

Time mage: excuse me sir. We need to get in to see the boss.

Bouncer: yeah? Who’s talkin? Yer trying pretty hard there kid.

Time mage: I am!

Bard: what the hell!

Berserker: we are supposed to show we AREN’T tries remember

Time mage: b-but i am trying…really hard! i wana help!

Bouncer: whoa there buddy, see thats the problem? The man keeps us down by making us think we have to “TRY” to do things. Just relax. Here try this to relax.

Dm: the bouncer offers you a crudely rolled paper, and a match. Roll knowledge nature to recognize it

Time mage: (rolls a 17)

Dm: its sin weed.

Time mage: (out of character) i-is this just a blunt

Dm: yes, more or less.

Time mage: (rolls knowledge local to see if he knows how to use it. Rolls a 1) …I take it gingerly… and eat it.

Bard: {time mage} NO!

Bouncer: holy shit…that was fuckin awesome, your probably gonna barf yer guts out later but holy shit, you guys can go in!

Time Mage: p-people eat these for fun?! It tastes terrible! (Out of character) i can’t believe you let my 16 year old eat a weed {Dm}

[qwerty40k]

Write down everything that happens in the story, then in the second draft, make it look like you knew what you were doing all along. -Neil Gaiman

[qwerty40k]

HoLy FuCk

[qwerty40k]

[qwerty40k]

Lazy...

[qwerty40k]

working a on strawberry farm and we have a new farm hand! He’s not the best at picking but is very good at protecting

[qwerty40k]

potion that makes you breathe

[qwerty40k]

[qwerty40k]

[qwerty40k]

multiplayer video games bad for health, heart, and emotional wellbeing. cut them out of ur diet.

[qwerty40k]

Hey y'all why are writers always cold?

[qwerty40k]

HOMMES FATALS

[qwerty40k]

A moon worship ritual.

[qwerty40k]

Tumblr: *rolls out “best stuff first”*

My blog:

[qwerty40k]

I discovered something useful today, taking breaks or exercising never helps me but THIS does, sharing to save a life

[qwerty40k]

Death May Die by Richard Wright