Adventure Time | Pokemon | Harry Potter | Vampire Diaries | Fall out Boy| Other things.
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Dr. Dre - The Next Episode (Trap Nation Remix) by Ermal Hoxha on #SoundCloud
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Black Widow Delay Remix - trap nation by Neha on #SoundCloud
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Babby Jesus- World’s first metal-head?
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Sorting Hat (To the point)
Ravenclaw: get over with the human dictionaries and sandwich crust eaters
Gryffindor: You backchat your parents…how bold of you.
Hufflepuff: You look dumb you sound dumb…you probably are dumb… To the cordial drinkers!
Slytherin: Your a Dick…
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Today, I fucked up... by going to a fancy carwash and accidentally kidnapping a Mexican dude.
This morning I decided to got to one of those fancy carwash places where they have about 10 people cleaning and drying your car after it gets out of the automatic wash. I drive a large pickup truck, a 4 door Nissan Titan and I keep the rear seats up so my dog has more room. So after they were done drying the truck they waved me over and I started to drive away, I got about a half mile down the road and I see someone in the rear of the cab, still drying the inside of the windows. It scared the shit out of me and I screamed, then the guy screamed and I ended up swerving on the Highway and cut off a car in the next lane. There happened to be a police officer behind me who saw it all and turned on his lights and pulled me over. The good news was the cop believed me, because the truck was still dripping and the Mexican dude had a spray bottle and rag. The police officer gave me a written warning and had a good laugh. I tried to give the cleaner a ride back to the car wash and he just said to me “No mas” and turned and quickly walked away.
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Quitting
Mate no.1: If you hate working at Macca's just quit.
Me: Then I can't pay my bills.
Mate no.2: Well quit and find a better paying job.
Mate no.1: Or you just quit in general.
Me: THEN I COULD USE MY BILLS TO START A FIRE WHEN IM HOMELESS!
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me: i think i'll just put my itunes on shuffle
me: skip
me: skip
me: skip
me: skip
me: skip
me: this is ok
me: wait no i don't like it any more skip
me: skip
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My life
Me: For Christmas I want a dragon
Santa: Be realistic...
Me: Ok I want to be famous
Santa: What colour do you want your dragon to be?
Me ...Red 😁
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Job Interview
Boss: Hello so I see you have come for an interview
Me: Yes
Boss: Ok so why do you want this job?
Me: I just want to save up some money and put it toward are car or maybe a house...I don't know
Boss: Ok that's good
Me: Do you like being the boss here?
Boss: Uh?...yeah of course I do
Me: really do you really love this job?
Boss: *Sobbing* No I actually hate this job, like last week Stacy said she didn't want to have lunch with me anymore and then Clark my best mate... *continues talking*
Me: Shhhh shhhh it's ok it's ok don't be sad...now who's a good boy?
Boss: ...me☺️
Me: yes that's right now who's wants an ice cream?
Boss: ME ME ME I WANT AN ICE CREAM!!! 😃😃
Hired 😎😎😎
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Story Of My Life...
Mate no.1: Hey didn't you wear that shirt yesterday?
Mate no.2: Maybe he has a washing machine
Me: No I don't...I'm just...gross
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This got rid of my anxiety temporarily??
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