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Mmmmmmm macaromi and chees

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Programmer who misunderstands the concept of a signed integer and autographs all of her variables

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your 'jerking it to the smell of isopropyl alcohol' post has me remembering how i used to be so ashamed of having any sexual desires that i only allowed myself to jack off to the mental image of an arial drone shot of a pine forest

transcendentalism

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even if pussy was real it doesnt matter cause im still gonna be killed

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if you eat 1 mango you will get so high from that mango, don’t go to work. you’ll need to go to bed immediately

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Beautiful cow who is mooing at you

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teehee

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I sentence you to thinking about dragons for 10 billion year

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"kung pow penis," a phrase commonly used in reblogs to indicate utter disdain for OP, has twelve letters, each of which (traditionally) must be supplied by a different user. the unanimity of disdain indicated by these twelve unrelated users has strong parallels to the requirement of unanimity for a jury—also traditionally of twelve—to arrive at a verdict. in this essay i will

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Women love me for my ability to navigate doorways unharmed most days.

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Art challenge where you have to finish what you're making

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“ok so if i get the premium alaskan fish sandwhich, the chicken strips and the chicken fries are you going to have some chicken fries because i dont want to be the only one eating them" 

“why are you getting chicken strips and chicken fries they’re the same thing” “ok im just going to pretend i didn’t hear that completely idiotic and inaccurate statement you just made right now"  “why dont you just get two orders of chicken fries it would be cheaper” “wow gendo thats a really great way to look at things. while we’re at it why don’t you just drive this car right out of this drive-thru and off a cliff. i mean, you know, because it would be cheaper. i dont even know you anymore”

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fucking crying because i thought this instagram reel was cutting edge comedy gold only to realize it is 100% serious… damn maybe i’m being poisoned