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when i was trying to buy brandy the other day i had to show them my id obviously unfortunately i have my drivers license and a fake sonic the hedgehog id next to each other and disaster was only barely diverted

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I don't know who needs to hear this, but if the phrase "self care" doesn't resonate with you, try calling it "system maintenance" and see if that clicks.

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check it out, i jsut made blood and flesh actually kind of sexual and epic. I put a bit of catholic vocabulary in there as well, "the divine" makes an appearence. itslike if romance and death was eating.... well... you get the picture. do you like it? do you? what if i showed you another one? what if i showed you this one? what if i showed you the first one again? what if i showed you another? what about this one? what if i included more raw meat and reference to biting and teeth in it? its good right? ok let me explain its like if, love meat consume godly fuck possession blood gnaw kill each other sexual. yes?

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[so horny my penis is whistling like a tea kettle] what? i cant hear you over my penis

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Magic can theoretically be used by anyone but it takes years of meditation and weaving past the fabric of the self and burrowing into the soul of the universe to cast even the most basic spells so where did this farm boy from the back ass of nowhere find the time to learn how to cast fireball

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this website is so difficult to explain to people...how do i explain that commanding your scarab beetle around is an accepted and well-received posting style?

[quincius]

Magic can theoretically be used by anyone but it takes years of meditation and weaving past the fabric of the self and burrowing into the soul of the universe to cast even the most basic spells so where did this farm boy from the back ass of nowhere find the time to learn how to cast fireball

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You show up for your first day at Copyright-Free Magic School. As you're going through orientation, you're informed that all new students get a school-assigned familiar that they are responsible for housing and maintaining. The staff member assures you that your assigned familiar is appropriately chosen and reflects you in some way.

Spin this to find out yours. (Remember, you are responsible for maintaining this familiar in your dorm room.)

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this too shall pass

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"Is it a safe space to say i hate-" NOT IN THE MAINTAGS IT ISNT

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Hi guys I made a white Gilgamesh in a blender and I added some oatmeal to it, will report results in a bit

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I'd like to formally thank the people of the UK and Ireland today for their rhyming prowess and forcing the Royal Mint to turn off replies to this tweet in RECORD time lmfao

And last but not least, the pièce de resistance that inspired about 90% of the hidden replies:

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"Ok, ma'am that'll be 226.03$."

I take my wallet out of my pocket and unfold it. It is empty other than a single moth that lazily flies out. The moth lands on the tap point of the card reader. There's a beat, and my payment is processed. The moth flies back into my wallet and I put it back in my pocket.

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honestly when I first saw this frame I thought "so laios is good at barking!"

but nope. literally a dog.