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look up no no now to the left

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i always click the "track package" button as soon as i get the email. "oh boy i wonder where my package is!" warehouse.

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[guy with the Cant Focus Disorder] why the fuck can't I focus

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its so windy my poor poor chickens are being blown around like dry leafs they look like this

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I should've never refused to marry you, okay?

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cannot get this video the nebraska humane society made/posted out of my head

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my 7 year old is currently singing "H-O-T-C-O-C-O, you should make me Hot Cocoa" and I am legitimate impressed

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the next conclave is going to be called 2 con 2 clave and they have to elect 2 popes

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what they don't tell you is that after you turn 30 you have ocasional but powerful bouts of home ownership fever, which is like baby fever but instead of randomly really wanting a baby you go on zillow and look at modest properties you will nonetheless never be able to afford. and then it passes and you're like wtf was that about. yay time for another $6 coffee to stave off the dread