queerkhazad

[queerkhazad]

[queerkhazad]

beautiful women named Spam Risk keep calling me

[queerkhazad]

Samwise Gamgee is never wrong

[queerkhazad]

What’s your core memory of watching the Lord of the Rings films for the first time because I will never forget how my extremely South Asian dad — during the emotionally climatic scene where Arwen is riding to the Havens and sees a vision of her son — paused, pointed, and said “Mashallah, Sister Arwen has accepted the hijab, alhamdulillah, praise be to god” and giggled for a good five minutes 😭

last time i shared this in a uni tolkien club someone called him a misogynistic fundamentalist because irl tolkien clubs are fucking deranged so please let me clarify that he was, in fact, joking.

[queerkhazad]

[queerkhazad]

^what he said

[queerkhazad]

Imagine being the villain of an episodic children's adventure fantasy cartoon with a spunky kid hero.

Like. I'm sorry, but there's only so many times my brilliant plans can be thwarted by a nine-year-old before I give up out of embarrassment and go find something else to do with my life.

[queerkhazad]

When I'm in a haunting the narrative competition but Boromir is my opponent

[queerkhazad]

accidentally said Shirley instead of Siri and now my phone is stuck in Airplane mode

[queerkhazad]

isnt there a better picture they could have used

[queerkhazad]

my Ethical Sorcery professor told me i cant just sling evil curses at people willy nilly without considering the ramifications so i turned him into a sheep with big-ass horns

[queerkhazad]

I think we really need to normalize "inside thoughts". I promise you don't need to tell someone if you don't like their outfit or if you don't like their hair when they didn't even ask. It's ok. You can keep that to yourself. You'll be ok not verbalizing every mean thought I promise 🫶

[queerkhazad]

this fibonacci joke is as bad as the last two you heard combined

[queerkhazad]

Trying to figure out if there's a difference between soft butch and futch to win an argument, but we've got bigger problems.

[queerkhazad]

At a party and a guy was telling me about how one of his coworkers was complaining about how he thought his dealer was lacing his heroin with cocaine and then the party guy was like “but his dealer was his brother” and I said “that’s some cocaine and abel shit” and the joke flopped so hard but I stand by it so I had to share it somewhere

[queerkhazad]

[queerkhazad]

alright everyone