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[queensupremes]

Elaboration, because I was asked —

TW: domestic violence, gun/knife mentions, overall T R A U M A.

I met a man who, at first sight, was what I thought was a good man. He made me feel special, like I mattered. He made me feel appreciated and important, he wanted to spend every minute of every day with me, and he seemingly wanted a life with me. I, unfortunately, took the bait.

Things were good for awhile. I was happy. I was excited, because for the first time, I thought I’d finally found someone who was good for me. My friends liked him, he meshed well with us, and I was head over heels.

Eventually, he became more and more erratic. We’d argue more than anything else and one night, in an argument in my kitchen, he said, “I’m just gonna leave.” Me, not being one to try to beg a man to stay with me, said, “if that’s really what you want to do, I’m not going to stop you.” To that, his response was to hold me against the door to my pantry with his butterfly knife. He said, “don’t ever try to leave me.” He said he and his “homies” knew where I lived, where I worked, and would “torch” me to the ground. So I retracted. This would go on for months.

I didn’t tell a soul. I was terrified, alone, and didn’t have anywhere to turn. Eventually, my friends began to catch on. They’d question why I never had my car, why I was always late to work, how I had a full time job and no money. I’d make excuses because I felt like I had to defend him and blame myself. He didn’t come home for 4 weeks at one point. Excuses, excuses, excuses. He had my car the entire time. I had to get a rental to get to work and honestly, I felt he would never come back. So I went to a shady used car dealership and town and got a new car. My best friend moved into my apartment with me, and things were seemingly back to normal.

He came back without my car. It had been impounded by border patrol and he was unable to get it out. I told him that he couldn’t use my new car because it wasn’t registered yet, to which he chose violence once more. At that point, I’d had the car for just three weeks. When I finally gathered the courage to tell him that I was done and the relationship was over, in my own vehicle after he’d picked me up from work, he went ballistic. He snatched my phone out of my hands and put it in his pocket and revealed a gun that was between the seat and center console. He waved it in my face. He pointed it in my direction and said, “no baby, we’re going home.” What is usually a 20 minute drive home turned into 2 hours. For two hours, he positioned his gun to me as he drove with what seemed like no direction.

When we finally got to my apartment, he said he would gather his things and leave. I told him I would get his things for him if he would just wait outside and give me the keys so I could get in because my roommate was asleep. He gave me back my phone, but he said he didn’t trust me. He held his gun to my back as he tried to open the door from behind me. He kept it there while he gathered his belongings. He berated me the entire time, threatening my life, my roommates life, my dogs life. Name calling and wild accusations. I tried to tell him I would drop him off at a motel or one of his friends houses, to which he responded by putting his gun to my temple. “You’re not going anywhere with me.” And he left.

I woke up my roommate and we called the police. When he found out that police had gone to his friends house looking for him, he sent me a slew of threatening messages, to which I couldn’t respond to due to the restraining order I had requested. The lack of response only made him more angry.

He was arrested in Corona, CA, his hometown, five days later. He had stolen plates on my car. It was impounded, and they told me I had to go there to pick it up. It took me over a week to find a way to get there. I had no money, just my own belongings and the paperwork from the dealership to show proof of sale in my name. Thankfully, a friend of mine was heading to California anyway, and Corona was on the way there so she offered to take me. By the time we got there, I was told by the Corona PD that it would be free to have the car released. The impound yard, however, had their own fees. Upwards of $2000 that I, nor my friend had. I left California without my car. It was repossessed, and even with the bank offering to give it back if I paid $13,000, I couldn’t get it back.

Since then, I have struggled to get back on my feet. I have since moved far from my old apartment, but I struggle to make ends meet. What’s worse, I was recently let go from my job due to circumstances out of my control. I have applied for multiple jobs, but back and forth ubers to and from interviews have dwindled my savings to negatives, and employers are looking for candidates with a reliable means of transportation. I’ve figured out my living situation and everything else in my life except a car. I’ve reached my breaking point. I am not the type to beg for help, hence why my friend started the gofundme campaign instead of me. I was angry when she first told me, but now I realize I don’t really have any other options. I wouldn’t be asking for help if I hadn’t already exhausted all other options.

If anyone can help, whether by sharing or donating even a dollar, it would be much appreciated. I’m at my wits end. But I also know that should the goal be reached, I will pay it forward. $1000 of the goal money will go towards SafeNest, which is a non-profit organization in Las Vegas that is dedicated to stopping the epidemic of domestic violence in the Clark County (Las Vegas and surrounding cities) area.

Please help if you can. It’d mean the world to me.

[queensupremes]

So it’s been awhile, tumblr. I’ll be honest, I’m not here on good terms. I guess I’ve just reached a point of desperation where I have nowhere left to turn. With 800 followers, I’m hoping this will gain some traction — my friend has created a GoFundMe campaign on my behalf because, as she says, I’m too stubborn and prideful to do it myself. She’s not wrong lmao. Long story short, I can add Domestic Violence Survivor to my list of titles. I’ll spare you the details here because it’s pretty laid out on the campaign page. I have tried sharing to friends and family other social media outlets, but none of it seems to be working. And believe me, I get it. All I ask is that if you’re able, please spread the word. I genuinely would not be doing this if I hadn’t already exhausted all other options. Thanks in advance and also just in general 🥺

[queensupremes]

crystal reed getting a girlfriend is an end-of-the-decade plot twist i did NOT see coming but am VERY thankful for

[queensupremes]

“I always got the sense that he became torn between being a good person and missing out on all of the opportunities that life could offer a man as magnificent as him. And in that way, I understood him. And I loved him, I loved him, I loved him, I loved him. And I still love him, I love him. “

Lana Del Rey | National Anthem (2012) Directed by Anthony Mandler

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Taraji P. Henson at the 90th Annual Academy Awards

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Hacksaw Ridge (2016)

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You’re the only man that’s ever touched me. You’re the only one. I haven’t really touched anyone since. Moonlight (2016) - Written & Directed by Barry Jenkins

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Inglourious Basterds | God’s Eye View

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New Edition: The Movie (2017) 3-part TV Series on BET

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Noce blanche (1989)

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december 5th - i miss you and you’re not even gone yet

[queensupremes]