queenlifegoals-blog

[queenlifegoals-blog]

Always choose to hide.

[queenlifegoals-blog]

I'm so done.

[queenlifegoals-blog]

It was ended

[queenlifegoals-blog]

Kopya

Hi USF admin and readers. I already sent it for the nth time and siguro makukulitan na si admin to post it. (Sorry po!) To everyone, it maybe time consuming to read my confession but I hope it will be all worth it. (Pasensya na if may mga typo grammatical error.) To this guy, he graduated as CumLaude of his batch this year 2017 who studied BS Tourism. Proud to say lang. Hehe! It's been four years.. When we're in 1st year HS, we were classmates back then. I was the secretary and you were the escort of the class. Eventhough, we're in the same section, di tayo close at bihira lang din magpansinan. Mahilig tayong asarin ng mga classmates natin noon and very opened ka naman na may gusto ka sa akin (I think, you had a plan pa ata that time to court me) Kaso nga, you werent my type, ayoko na isang Batangueño ang makatuluyan ko though parehas tayong Batangas babies. I hate the fact lang na all of our classmates ay inaasar ka saken. Syempre, nahihiya rin ako. For the whole school year, I disregarded you. You just accepted that things will get better if we'll stay as friends. Alam ko yun kasi di mo naman pinilit sarili mo sakin kahit you still have feelings for me, that time. (Based on our friends) Time flies, 2nd year HS, we're not classmates na, as usual, I'm not affected naman kasi nga I always disregard you, di pa rin pinapansin pero okay na tayo sa ngitian lang. 3rd year HS, for the entire school year di ata tayo nagpansinan nito and obviously, may kanya kanya na tayo pinagkakabusyhan. Nabalitaan ko na lang din na you were in relationship, same to me (PUPPY LOVE DAYS😂) 4th year HS, I saw you from the corridor but I refused to say "Hi" to you. Instead, I passed by na parang walang nakita. I dont know why pero I remembered the time nung binalewala kita although it has nothing serious feelings kasi bata pa naman tayo nun, 13 years old palang ata tayo nun (TSK! TSK, MGA KABATAAN NGA NAMAN HAHAHAHA) pero I know even we were younger that time, nasaktan kita noon, oo, mababaw lang pero maaalala pa rin. You deserve to get an apology from me pa rin. But I had no chance to say sorry to you. *GRADUATION DAY* I saw you again. I know, this is my chance to talk to you. I just need to go near to you but then again, I refused to do so. Why? Kasi feeling ko, di na tayo close enough para lapitan pa kita at mukhang nakalimutan mo na rin naman. I KNOW THIS MOMENT, THIS TIME IS WHERE I STARTED TO LIKE YOU. I DONT KNOW HOW AND WHY? I JUST KNOW I LIKE YOU. 1st year college, I saw your post on Facebook. I have this urge to chat you. Nagkamustahan at nagbiruan lang tayo. END OF CONVERSATION *Fast forward na* 2nd year college, 1st sem. We were both busy on school. Madaming activities na dapat asikasuhin. Madaming time to make gala & bonding with college friends. I have no idea whats happening to you. One thing is for sure, I still like you and nothing changed. We've got time to do some chitchat, "Hi" "Hello" "Kamusta?" & "Okay lang!" I think nabanggit ko din sa conversation natin na I was in relationship and after 2 months we broke up agad. I was in pain but I chose to moved on rather to cry and cry then I asked you, "Eh ikaw?" Then you've told me na you werent into commitments because you're busy to study & doing some school stuffs. (Sorryyy, can't remember the exact convo. I deleted it kaya di ko mabackread) 3rd year college, 2nd sem. We've got back our conversation. Nagkwentuhan, kamustahan, biruan & asaran. Sabi mo rin nakita mo ko nung nakaraang araw nun. Medyo that time, na-feel ko bumalik na yung dating AKO at IKAW na kilala ko. I've got the chance to be close with you unlike before na tinatarayan at sinusungitan kita. Ngayon, karma hits me! Ako na yung nangungulit at laging kumakausap sayo. Ganun pa rin, I maybe got into relationship, pero mananatili ka pa ring crush ko, the ideal one ika nga. Next thing I knew, I already started to write our Day 1 of our conversation even the day na di tayo nag uusap. I always dont forget to write everyday. Sabi ko, tatapusin ko to before ng birthday mo pero natapos na birthday mo, nasa akin pa rin at di ko nababigay. Edi tinuloy ko na lang magsulat. I enjoyed this thing naman eh. December 2015, I got your number (sa tagal nating friends, ngayon lang ako nagkanumber mo. Hahahahaha), I texted you but you didnt reply. It was alright to me. Nakausap kita through chat & you told me na busy ka with your relatives & friends kasi may reunion kayo that time. Enjoy na enjoy ka while you were in Batangas. I can't demand anything to you. I dont have the rights to feel jealousy or anger kasi nga "WALANG TAYO" at bukod pa dun "AKO LANG ANG MAY GUSTO SAYO" kaya nakuntento na lang ako sa Napakarami kong text vs. One Phrase reply mo. Pero minsan, bumabawi ka naman, nagkakatime kang magtext, makipagbiruan at magshare. Kinikilig ako pag ang bilis mong magreply (Normal lang siguro yun diba?) Pero syempre I must know pa rin my limits kasi nga UMAASA NA NAMAN AKO SA TAONG DI NAMAN AKO GUSTO AT DI NAMAN AKO PINAASA. IN short isang kong t*ng* The night before new year, magkausap tayo nun over the phone. I felt kilig na naman kasi feeling ko sabay natin sinalubong yung bagong taon. Nagpapalitan pa tayo ng bati nun. (Syempre si crush kausap) Aminin ko man o hindi sa sarili ko, I'm happy that time. Oo, nagaassume lang ako sa mga bagay bagay pero alam kong hanggang dun lang yun. Nothing more, nothing less. Wala namang masama siguro dun?! Alam mo naman na gusto kita at alam ko ding di mo ko gusto. Okay na ko dun. After that, kinukulit kita kasi ibibigay ko na yung regalo ko sayo & I'll wait for you hanggang sa lumuwas ka ulit dito sa Mandaluyong but you've told me na sige pero mukhang nakalimutan mo na ata at di ko na naman nabigay. March 2016 chinat ako ng friend ko, she said she has something bad news to me. I am thinking na it was all about her problem kaya sabi ko, sige. She told me wag daw akong mabibigla and I said go. Then she forwarded a printscreen. Yes, it was you. I saw your name being in relationship with someone. My mind was literally blocked out talaga. I dont know what I felt. Immediately, I deleted your number, I deleted our conversation & I deactivated my fb acc. I was really hurt and cried the whole night (OA KO LANG HAHAHAHAHA DAIG KO PA NAKIPAGBREAK SA JOWA HEHE) For one week, nagluluksa ako sa feelings ko sayo. Buong akala ko, nalimitahan ko sarili ko sayo. Akala ko naiintindihan ko na kung ano lang tayo. Akala ko gets ko na di mo ko gusto. Akala ko, okay na ko sa friends lang. Hindi pala. Hindi pala talaga. What I did, iniwasan kita. Di na kita kinukulit, kinakausap, chinachat, tinetext or tawagan. Yung regalo ko sayo, tinago ko na lang. Instead na magmukmok at magdrama ko, I made myself brand new (Taray! Bagong edition si atengggg) August 2016, I saw your post in fb having a love problem & it has something to do about a broken heart. Akalain mo yun, broken hearted ka. I knew you were obviously in pain. Naisip ko nung nakita ko yun, buti nga sayo. Dejk. Sayang naman kayo, akala ko relationship goals na kayo. At alam kong mahal mo naman sya. I chatted you (DUMADAMOVES SI ATE MO GIRL, AT WALA DING KADALA DALA) This time, sabi ko sa sarili ko, di na kita gusto. Wala na kong feelings. I asked you if kailan ka free, it has something to my gift for you again. Pero sabi mo, di mo alam kung kailan at busy ka pa. October 2016, we had this convo Ako: Uy bes, gusto mong sumamang hiking? Ikaw: Kelan? *Nagpanic ako. I'm not expecting that you would reply kailan sa tanong ko.* Ako: Hala. Sorry. Mali! (Nagpanggap na lang ako na wrong send pero para sayo talaga yun eh) Pero gusto mong sumama? (Para di halata! Hehe) Ikaw: Ay, wag na. Wrong send pala. (Sana pala, di ko na sinabing wrong send. Sayang!!) Natawa na lang ako sa sarili ko. "Hindi pala nawala feelings ko sayo, tinago ko lang pala pansamantala." Pero updated version na ang feelings ko eh mas alam ko na how to handle it with tender, love and care. Lol. December 2016, I had the chance to talk to you again. As usual, yung sa regalo naman, yun lang naman dahilan ko palagi. It was 1 yr ago nung ginawa ko yun and now di ko pa rin nabibigay. We've talked about the plan para sana sa bonding natin and if we will have the chance, skating sana basta may ipon ka. Kaso DRAWING bes, drawing! February 10, 2017, I posted to My Day sa messenger yung sentence na "ALAM MO BA, CRUSH PA RIN KITA HAHAHAHAHA!" at dahil alam mo nga, nagreply ka sabi mo "ALAM KO HAHAHA" Kinilig naman ako and syempre nagulat din pero hinayaan ko lang. Sineen ko lang. March 2017, we had this convo Ako: May free time ka ba? May iaabot lang ako. Dont worry! Di ako nagnenetworking (BAKA KASI AKALA MO DIBA!!!) Ikaw: Hahahahaha. Networking agad. Hahahaha. Sige. Kelan ba? Hahahaha. Di ko alam eh. Ako: Baka kasi akala mo nagnenetworking ako e. Ikaw magset, ikaw busy haha. Ikaw: Hahahahahah. Hindi naman. Sige. Chat na lang kita kung kelan. Bago tayo grumaduate. Mabibigay mo din saken yan. Ahahaha. Graduating ka din ba? Congrats pala. Yan na yung matinong last convo natin. BUKOD SA HALATANG WALA KANG FEELINGS SAKIN AT PATULOY AKONG UMAASA SAYO KASI NA-ATTACHED NA KO, ALAM KO DING ITS MORE THAN SA CRUSH CRUSH LANG. SIGURO MAS MADALI KASING SABIHIN SAYO NA CRUSH KITA PARA DI HASSLE. PARA DI TAYO AWKWARD. One week before grad mo, sabi ko ibibigay ko na yung regalo sayo. Syempre nadagdagan ko na yun ng kung ano ano. Alam mo yan. Nakiusap ako sa common friend natin na iabot na lang sayo kasi di ako makakapunta kahit gusto kong ako magbibigay. BABAE AKO PERO PARANG AKO YUNG NANLILIGAW. SA SOBRANG LOYAL KO, PATI PAG PURSUE GINAWA KO NA. HAYS. (Nakarelate tuloy ako sa post dito sa USF na "Para sa aking manliligaw" Kung kasing tapang lang ako ni ate girl, liligawan din kita kahit ako pa babae. Hehe! Minention kita pero emoji lang nireact mo. Half meant kaya yon!) April 18, 2017. Graduation nyo na!! Late akong nagising pero I saw your recorded vid ng live sa fb, nakita ko sa feed so I watched it. Binati mo ko, I mean nag-thank you ka saken. Kinilig ako syempre. Natuwa kasi naappreciate mo. I saw your posts din sa my day mo, nakita kong pinicture'an mo lahat ng binigay kong regalo and naappreciate mo. Nagsend ka pa saken ng long message. Nakakaoverwhelmed syempre pero sineen ko lang. Di ko kasi alam sasabihin ko. April 20, 2017. It was around 1am or 2am, nagtwitter ka! Nagulantang ako. Yes, nagulantang talaga. I am thinking na replyan kita, so I dmed you saying "Hi captain!" Malakas loob ko kasi di ka nagoopen ng twitter. Pero mas ginalingan mo, tumayming ka. Sobrang timing. Lahat ng tweets ko na tungkol sayo, pinusuan mo. Nagreply ka pa sa dm ko. Nagpanic ako. Kabado. Di ko alam. Pero I ended up kausapin ka ulit. Nawalan ka ng data so nagchat ka through messenger at dun na natin tinuloy convo natin. Around 3am, ako na ang huling chat. Naglaho ka na. Yung active now naging active 1 hour ago. Oo bes, inantay kitang magreply. Nakatulog ka na pala. Hanggang sa di mo na ko nireplyan pa. Akala ko ikaw na lang magchachat kasi sabi mo, babawi ka at madaming beses mo pa kong kakausapin. Thats for sure. Walanjo. Paasa ka talagang tunay. Kaya ngayon, lumilipad na naman utak ko. Iiwas na ko for real, bago mo pa masira ng tuluyan ang puso ko. Nakaahon na ko e, nabawi ko na puso ko sayo. Tapos bigla kang nagparamdam. It has been four years, ITS MY TURN TO CHERISH MYSELF, TO LOVE MYSELF NAMAN. IT'S ME TIME! Kahit kalahati ng puso ko umaasa na marealized mo naman na ako yung gusto mo ulit. But hanggang kailan ako mag aantay? I've decided na I'm letting go my feelings for you and let God to handle it. I shall not depend to anyone's decision, it always be my own decision that will matter. Hindi masamang i-treasure yung memories na meron kayo pero mas maganda kung mananatili na lang itong kwento na may mapupulot na aral kaysa kwentong paulit ulit kang masasaktan at aasa ulit. Sadyang pinagtagpo lang kayo pero di kayo ang itinadhana. LIFE IS A CHOICE. WHEN YOU CHOOSE TO FORGIVE, YOU SHOULD KNOW HOW TO FORGET. LEARN TO SAY "YES", LEARN TO SAY "NO", LEARN TO "STAY, LEARN TO "GO", LEARN TO "HOLD ON" LEARN TO "LET GO" KNOW THE DIFFERENCE OF "WHATS RIGHT" TO "WHATS WRONG" Trust God, Pray harder, Have faith & Spread love. PS. Yung blog mo, i-check mo ulit. Di mo pa nababasa yung notes & yung mga additional posts ko.

[queenlifegoals-blog]

PWEDE BANG PAG SINABI KONG SUKO NA KO, MAKALIMUTAN KO AGAD SYA.

[queenlifegoals-blog]

Paki-alagaan naman ng puso ko, SIRA-SIRA na kasi eh.

[queenlifegoals-blog]

ang pretty ko naman dito 😍😍😍

celfìè💓

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Kung pwede lang mamilit. Ang hirap masaktan. Hays

[queenlifegoals-blog]

Pwede bang magkagusto ka sakin? I DEMAND. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[queenlifegoals-blog]

celfìè💓

[queenlifegoals-blog]

My 3 AM thoughts

[queenlifegoals-blog]

INAANTOK NA KO

[queenlifegoals-blog]

MAUNTOG SANA AKO

[queenlifegoals-blog]

well said

[queenlifegoals-blog]

To you My Captain,

Bakit mo naman naisipan mag open ng twitter sa panahon pang active ako? Nabasa mo tuloy hinaing ko sa twitter. Haha

Bakit mo naman naisipan akong kausapin? Ayan, di ko tuloy mapigilang kausapin ka. (Ako tuloy last chat, kainis to!!!)

Paano na ko iiwas? Eh kahit mainis o magtampo kapag di mo sini-seen o naiinboxzoned mo ko di ko naramdaman. Tapos sabi mo pa, madaming beses pa kita makakausap ngayon kasi di ka na busy (Sabi mo eh!!! Hahahahaha)

Kung kaya ko lang mamblock at iunfriend at iunfollow ka, nako! Nagawa ko na. Kaso hindi e.

So, ngayon.. Nagiisip pa rin ako, nag iisip ng nag iisip.. Maniniwala ko sayo for the nth time. Aasahan ko na baka this time, pag hinayaan ko yung sarili ko na kausapin at wag ka ng iwasan baka um-okay ang lahat.

Pero syempre, distansya pa rin talaga. Di kita ichachat ng una, dapat ikaw. Di na kita kukulitin. Promise! Kaso, bwisit ka! Mas ginalingan mo e, lakas mong tumayming. Timing na timing.

Salamat. Sana nga tuloy tuloy na nga closeness natin nyan. I-chat mo ko palagi ah hahahaha online ka naman lagi e. Haha.

#RoadToFriendship na yes naman! Hahaha.

Sana next, #RoadToRelationshipGoals. JOKE LANG. HAHAHA WAG SERYOSOHIN. Masasabihan na naman akong korni e.

Pero pipilitin ko talaga mawala yung feelings ko at yung pagkaka-crush ko sya. I’ll try my very super duper best para maglaho na.

PS. Yung gusto kong regalo, ikaw talaga. Hahaha. Puntahan mo ko sa graduation, picture tayooo. #NoPressure #PeroSana #PrayHard

PPS. Congrats sayo! Nabasa mo ang napakarami kong letter sayo. (Ang dami ko palang naisulat. Hahahaha. Pasensya na.)

[queenlifegoals-blog]

If I would answer your question if what gift I want? It simply just you on my graduation. Pero syempre I know it will not happen. Hahahaha. Remember the dream I have, you had read it right? I hope it was all true. Hahahaha. Ang hirap ng hinihingi kong regalo. Pero laging mong tandaan, all gifts & efforts I gave to you, kusa yun at I'm not expecting an exchange to it. You deserve all that efforts & gifts. Thanks.

A reply to you.

I don’t have the courage to reply anything to you. I can’t say anything, I didn’t know why but despite of appreciating my efforts and sending me a long message, I can’t find happiness. Same as you are, na-appreciate ko din, pero I didnt get the answer na gusto kong marinig kaya siguro I’m sad.

Don’t worry, I’ll continue to have distant with you. I am still letting you go, letting go of my feelings baka yun kasi gusto mo. Yung walang nangungulit sayo.

Honestly, its hard to say good bye lalo na apat na taon lang naman ako naging loyal. Its like four years kitang niligawan (Like what!! I’m the one who courted you. Hahahahahahaha ewww mrose) but your answer was “No” so meaning busted ako. But anyways, back to reality, I should give up. Its up to you if you would hold my hand and stop me bitawan ka.

Sayang lang. Kung may 0.999% lang akong chance, I wouldn’t stop myself liking you. Seryoso! Hahahahahahahaha.

Only if you will know. Hays.