queenanabelle

[queenanabelle]

All seem so weird and unreal. I am bored all the way. Not sure if I should come back to previous work. Need some inspiration and motivation. I stuck on my music so much. Have to take care of it more. All seem so difficult.

[queenanabelle]

[queenanabelle]

Learning how to live again is super hard, I feel like I was not in real life for a while now I need to learn how to not be bored because I have no powers to do anything, everything is boring me, can't focus to clean, can't focus to do anything. I've been taking shots and pills on illness that gave me side effect of parkinsonism. I feel lost and blocked from anything now. No joy of doing anything. Just saddness. Need to learn how to find purpose here. I'm a mess.

[queenanabelle]

Drawing on a blanket, why not. So many ideas come when You're bored.

[queenanabelle]

Sick game We played. I'll stuck on Tumbrl. Fuck rest

[queenanabelle]

Fuck that dramma, come to mamma 🖤💙

[queenanabelle]

[queenanabelle]

[queenanabelle]

[queenanabelle]

I am done, with all those people bullshit, I am so done, shit. I wrote that song. "I am so done, so done with You all, if it wouldn't be punished I would kill You all" - sounds creepy but yup I wrote it 👍🏻

[queenanabelle]

Can I die? Why I can't? 😩😩😩 My body never let me, even tho there is nothing, in reality I have just Rocky and my fucking phone, so many years in pain for this now?! And I got a habit of biting nails 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩

[queenanabelle]

See me raising, feel your falling. 🧿

[queenanabelle]

GOD damn, okey fristly my keyboard wrote "fame" not "damn" but 🤫 okey so, what I wanted to say. There is a big change in the air. And life You live never will be the same. People whom were against You will be afraid You may get them when they hit their lower stage. The World will be under big explosive energy draining vaccum cleaner. What I mean by that is All will watch how the Evil Spirit falls down and bow down in from of the Royalty. xoxo - Queen_of_Shadows

[queenanabelle]

Beated the Matrix, see You soon my Soulmate 💙 How I said before - Always and Forever my Love, I will find You wherever You will be. You will shine bright 'cause You're Diamond 💙🌚

[queenanabelle]

It's time to get back on track. Making songs currently... will make a video and upload it this month

[queenanabelle]

I got a message yesterday ...

From last month I was struggeling, I felt like losing hope, I felt like all effort I was putting, all sucrifices I made, the pain I felt, all my surroundings from past, whole my past is nothing special, that it's normal for everyone, nothing special, that all the messages I wrote in lyrics, all my lyrics are nothing special. I was thinking that maybe I was hoping for something that is not ment for me, I was shuting at myself for living in my head, in imagination, I was mad at myself for not being able to STOP to BELIEVE that this shit that I think is gonna come true. On the 31th of Dec 2021 I was in a very bad mood, I felt like "that's it, I can't do it anymore, can't punish myself by thinking that my life will magicaly change", I felt like everyone stopped to matter for me, I wished I could be on my own without anyone else, I wished to be free from others because I can't handle this whole life anyomore, even that I was trying, I felt like I am fighting with so many things that I can't see, I felt I have many, many enemies but nobody claimed, I just felt like all around me is a big lie, I can't do this bullshit anymore, I don't want fake around me, I felt like it's enough, I can't play with all of them, can't stand this type of living. So the night between 2021 and 2022 I had many thoughts, I felt bad and felt like nobody really understands, nobody really wants to understand, everyone just want to be prised, everyone wants to be smart one, everyone wants to be the one, and all things I've tried to tell, because I got messages in my songs and random things came to my head, that all of that is nothing because already bunch of people knows how it's gonna be, so nobody need me to tell them because some people somwhere online said sth else and blah blah blah, I am not needed to be heard because I don't know anything. So in the 1st day of 2022 I was looking for sth, to be honest I didn't even know what I was looking for, just checking some stuffs on YT that I was checking from time to time according to my thoughts and got some messages.

Firstly I found only some prophet saying something he as a human probably don't understand, someone else had to say some things through his mouth because later on he opened card that all what he previously said he didn't understand, sad, silly man. After that I saw some messages from one famous dude from the past, you catch it? This guy who died long time ago. That story about this man many of us know. So those messages were messy, similar to the way that prophet was saying. But there is some true inside but the way someone performs it - is messy and hard to get full picture what is going on. You know, imagine going in night time with a lighter which has batter not working properly, not working fully, you walking but you can't see clear the way you go.

After a day, in 2nd day of this year I saw other video in unexpected section, I was not looking at this type of video but I got to hear it. When I watched what I suppose to watch it clicked me.. that this is what They wanted me to see, to hear. The message there is very clear, for me. It's a tarot lady who asks The Light for messages. I saw the comment section how everyone thinks it's about them, but in their comments they put informations that shows They didn't listen carefully to what She said. The true is everyone would want to be this person she readed about. But to be honest it is very weird that some reader did this type of reading, when I was younger all tarot readers was doing only for specific person, or celebrity or just zodiac signs. Now She did reading for someone who will hear this reading, but all the things she said. Listen all my thoughts about future, those things I felt before, the things that I knew deep inside of me, this unrealistic things I thought will happen but nothing was happening so I was telling myself to think realistic, that it's impossible. This reading She did gave me hope and again I am back in hoping that all my feelings were right. That I am right about all what's gonna happen. Last month I lost hope, I saw no light in front of me. I was telling myself that I lost so much time thinking some miracle will happen and I'll be saved from the life I live. I questioned myself, my past, the purpose of the songs I wrote, my purpose in life. This video for me was like a uplifting message telling that all will be how I thought, and all will see that I was right, and all will be unexpected how I thought. I really hope it was a message I suppose to find, because when I start to listen to it I was sceptical what is it about but than so many descriptions about the life I live. So two options I see, or it was a message for me to get know that all is how was planned and I knew that it will happen or I know about someone else's future that I readed like mine own because in this messy planet you never know if these fucking trolls don't play you. Let's see in the future. How she said... "Everyone will see". Greetings - Olii'G