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[queen-mbti]

3 does not fit like, at all?????? 

Unconscious Childhood Messages

We all received many different unconscious messages from our mother and father (as well as from other significant figures) during childhood. Those messages had a profound effect on our growing identity and on how much we were allowed to fully be ourselves. Unless our parents were highly developed, conscious human beings themselves, the expansive brilliance of our soul was forced to shut down to varying degrees.

Although some of us received many of the following messages, one message tends to be central to each type. Which messages particularly affect you?

Type One: “It’s not okay to make mistakes.”

Type Two: “It’s not okay to have your own needs.”

Type Three: “It’s not okay to have your own feelings and identity.”

Type Four: “It’s not okay to be too functional or too happy.”

Type Five: “It’s not okay to be comfortable in the world.”

Type Six: “It’s not okay to trust yourself.”

Type Seven: “It’s not okay to depend on anyone for anything.”

Type Eight: “It’s not okay to be vulnerable or to trust anyone.”

Type Nine: “It’s not okay to assert yourself.”

[queen-mbti]

I used to think “I won’t be one of THOSE vegans”

But honestly, if you try being one of the ~cool~ vegans, people will still attack you, people will still question your choices and try to poke holes in your logic.

You might as well have a strong argument ready, question their choices and poke holes in their logic.

[queen-mbti]

To everyone saying SX doms leave their old friends once they vibe with someone more interesting…

Are you guys okay? Who hurt you?

[queen-mbti]

Dom sx is cool and all…. until you realize that the dom sx you trust may sx with someone more than they do you and end up screwing you over because you don’t matter as much as you thought to them but anyway I’m still not salty about it or anything.

[queen-mbti]

The Theory of Centres

This is exciting.

I’ve spent a lot of time looking at the enneagram, all the theories surrounding it, peoples experiences with it. But there were a few things that to me seemed odd. Why were Type 8 and Type 9, both gut types, so different in the way they treated anger. What determined that the internal types (3, 6, 9) were out of touch with their primary centre. What was the basis of the Hornevian and Harmonic triads that made them applicable. And then one day something clicked. One centre is affecting another

The primary centres of each type are being dealt with or controlled by a different centre. This leads to 9 different combinations of centres affecting each other, including 3 of those being the centres maintaining control of themselves. Okay I know it sounds complicated but I’ve added a few illustrations to refer to.

…I tried. The three circles represent the head, heart and body centre in descending order.

The basic premise of this theory is that each type has one underlying dominant centre (the primary centre) which provides the emotional grounding of the type and then a second centre (the affecting centre) which seeks to regulate or control the primary centre. This leads to 6 possible combinations of centres affecting each other in different ways. We also have 3 combinations of centres regulating themselves, leading to the notion of a type being out of touch with a certain centre.

The diagram displays this by arrows from the affecting centre to the dominant centre, as well as the circularity of the inner types. We know that primary centres all have certain emotions attached (anger, shame, anxiety) so it would follow that each centre employs a certain method in regulating other centres. Below are my thoughts on what these could be. Head - Rationalisation used by the Compliant Types. These types will take the dominant emotion they regulate and rationalise it to form a clear superego message within a person. Heart - Channeling used by the Assertive Types. The dominant emotion of the type is channeled into an outward expression, resulting in an energetic release. Gut - Containment used by the Withdrawn Types. The dominant centre is confined to itself and separated from the other centres, resulting in a void or feeling of emptiness present.

Using the above definitions, we now have new summaries of the types and what is happening internally

Type 1: Rationalisation of anger

Type 2: Rationalisation of shame

Type 3: Channeling of shame

Type 4: Containment of shame

Type 5: Containment of anxiety

Type 6: Rationalisation of anxiety

Type 7: Channeling of anxiety

Type 8: Channeling of anger

Type 9: Containment of anger

The illustrations point which affecting centre (resulting in Hornevian group) is regulating which primary centre. However, the Harmonic groups of the types can also be inferred. When reacting to a situation, the types will use the two centres that are involved in the fixation (and in the central types, the centres that are not out of touch). We may also read this differently in that the type reactions all avoid one particular centre. Thus this makes

Positive Outlook an unrealistic reaction (avoiding the body centre)

Competency an unemotional reaction (avoiding the heart centre)

Emotional Realness an irrational reaction (avoiding the head centre)

And that briefly outlines the basics of the Theory of Centres. The purpose of building such a theory is to examine exactly what the nature of each centre is. For example, the body centre is known to be related to anger and to the body types but we can also see here it’s presence within Types 4 and 5 and it’s connection to the Withdrawn group. Mapping out the extent of effect that each centre has on a person may help in the future when trying to determine what physiological processes are related to the psychological.

I will be using this theory for posts in the future as I feel it holds great insight for the types and type relations. All input and feedback is appreciated since it’s very much a skeletal theory at the moment. Also any illustrators to fix up my very poor diagram.

References:

http://enneagram.net/articles.html

http://ninepaths.com/2012/08/01/patterns-of-motion/

[queen-mbti]

I just wanna say that people may bad choices while they are in the midst of a mental break or just dealing with their mental illnesses in general or hell just having a really bad day. But that does not absolve that person from what they did. If you were having an anxiety attack and screamed at someone you can explain what happened but you still need to hold yourself accountable for what you did even if you weren’t in the most stable state of mind. Being in a bad mood maybe a reason why you acted out but it’s not an excuse. And you also need to understand that the person or people you hurt are in no way shape or form obligated to forgive you and you have to be prepared to accept that. 

[queen-mbti]

the curse of enneagram 3

always needing to impress someone and if no one is there, imagining that you’re impressing them or contemplating how to impress them

[queen-mbti]

ummm literally no one has said this, in fact i would argue Fe users are more capable leaders than Fi-users

Kill the stereotype that Fe users are incapable to be leaders.

[queen-mbti]

[queen-mbti]

Fi

so i’ve been thinking about this a bunch lately. when people compare Fi and Fe they often state the “morals vs ethics view” and that could be true to a certain extent. but, as opposed to Fi, Fe gets these lengthy descriptions of why it is not that simple. and i thought i’d give a different view of Fi too and explain what it does and what it is actually good for. 

because Fi will not necessarily manifest in strong morals, in my opinion. that’s why i for a very long time couldn’t see myself as a Fi user - i don’t really have a moral code because i have no need for one. instead what Fi does is constantly evaluate “what is better?” this is why immature Fi will frequently develop as the sort of extremely black and white thinking that can be often seen here. because immature Fi users will have a sense of this is not better, therefore it’s wrong and should be avoided at all costs (and if the Trusted Sources™ say it’s bad then it becomes officially the worst thing on the planet. this is how circle-jerk prone sites like this one can lead to extreme Fi). 

but a mature or at least a somewhat healthy Fi will be able to recognise that not all outcomes that are not better are bad and not all actions that are not better are bad. sometimes actions are complicated or have motivations behind them that will justify some “bad” actions. and bad here does not necessarily mean bad for society. soc-blind Fi probably could not care less for what’s good or bad for society and even for me, who’s a soc-dom, caring for society’s desires is a rarity when i make the vast majority of my “better or worse” judgements. what i care about is if it is consistent with what i consider better or worse for me. i have some notion of what i want my life to be and the majority of my decisions concern that. so i will make choices that appear better for my preferred way of life. 

so what Fi gives an insight for me is what decisions i feel will lead to the most optimal consequences. those optimal consequences will be different for every Fi user (it is a subjective function after all) and for me it is how to reach a point where i can work on stuff i love so all of my value judgements will be with that goal in mind, for others it may be grander - a world with no discrimination. but the point is - Fi does not have to be moral.

i hope this is consistent with how other Fi users experience the world so uh hmu and tell me and otherwise hope it’s shown something to those who are not Fi users and don’t understand the inner workings. 

[queen-mbti]

Is there any kind of behavior on social media that’s related to specific variants?

Variants are about motivations. It’s hard to discern motivations from behaviour.

That being said, it IS the Fe agenda to say that people can be compared to each other sufficiently enough that we can glean at least SOME basic facts about them from minimal interaction or even simple observation. It’s hard to articulate what I mean by that, but it’s hard to articulate how a feeling function works in general.

Since Fe works with Ti, it’s easy and almost unconscious to process those frameworks and basically read a person through a few minutes of observation. Ne vs Ni can have different effects here (it’s why NFJs are known to either be RIGHT on the mark or EXTREMELY WRONG about a person, or at least, their motivations). Ni sort of “just knows”, Ne goes through possibilities and potential answers without really being sure of any of them.

That being said. None of the following are hard RULES— they’re general for a reason. But behaviour often gives away a person’s motivations, right? I’m going to extend this past online interactions, into a more general “how to spot variants”.

Sp variant:-Homebody (comparatively). Even the extroverts go out less than other extroverts who aren’t Sp doms.

-odd hyper-fixations, exacerbated by si/6.

-some degree of personal neuroticism.

-their immediate environment reflects their mental state. There’s an incorrect assumption people make about sp doms— they’re not always organized and clean. A depressed, stressed or just unwell sp dom can be pinpointed by their immediate environment matching that. That, or their environment becomes unnaturally clean.

-Odd conception of personal information. You can see this both online and irl. Might tell you their extended traumatic backstory, but what they had for lunch? Classified fucking info. Spso is better at smoothing this over than spsx is.

-get really stressed out when their living environment doesn’t match what makes them feel comfortable. My roomie is gonna hate this but I always throw a blanket over a particular pillow she has because it makes me uncomfortable. My gran (spso) redoes parts of her house every year to keep up with what makes her feel most at ease.

-personal comfort > reputation for spso. Spso makes social sacrifices all the time to preserve itself. “I don’t need to care about this, since it doesn’t benefit me and isn’t my driving motivation.”

-personal comfort > relationships for spsx. Being best friends with a person doesn’t matter when your energy levels are in the shitter. “If they cared, they’d come to me. I don’t benefit from over extending myself, even for loved ones. They’ll understand.”

-they do a lot of things alone. Or they have no trouble being alone— but they’d prefer to have a friend or two there, or to be doing something they enjoy and can throw themselves into entirely. Yes, even spso is like this. Best friends and interests aren’t purely the domain of sx.

-the phenomenon of “splendid isolation” is very telling of an sp dom five/fix.

-cares about how their existence is perceived on a base and material level— “do I look like I had my life together?” “What relationships do I have that preserve my preserve my personal comfort? Which don’t? And how much energy do I give each?”

Soc variant:

(I’ll be totally honest here and say I don’t get soc doms and any soc doms are encouraged to give their input)

-cares about what people think about (their) group or their position in a group, specifically. Everyone (yes, everyone) cares about how they’re perceived in some way— but soc doms seem to be fixated on how their position is perceived relative to the “social order” or social norms.

-tries to make friends with everyone (or specific people) but it feels really unnatural? Even sosx feels weird to me… it’s like they don’t see YOU, they see where you fall. What you abstractly represent. It just feels forced— not in the weird spsx or spso “forced” way through oversharing, but really just being… overly casual, almost.

-“oh god I’m out alone in public, what are people gonna think? What if they think I’m a loner?” Have trouble going places by themselves that are “unacceptable loner places”. No problem going to the library alone for example, but CANNOT go to “socially unacceptable loner places” alone. By cannot I don’t mean actually can’t, but they really don’t like it and try to avoid it.

-cares about their existence in a hierarchy (Te) or matrix (fe). “Do I look like I belong here?” “How do my relationships fit together with one another? Does something or someone seem out of place? How do I rectify it? Is it threatening, or just part of the social order and how people work?”

Sx variant:

-you can tell what their interests are. Walk into a room and you’ll be bombarded with them.

-they have certain particular interests or fixations that might be easily seen online, too.

-if they don’t like you, they don’t like you, and they’re not going to apologize for it or pretend that’s not the case. anyone who’s met an sx dom has seen this happen

- get “too into” things, but not in an autistic “subject of interest” way. Just that they really obviously like a thing a lot.

-a bit elitist about their interests and/or their friends. Can be really possessive about people, things, characters, you name it (but not in the obsessive sx blind way, which is very markedly different).

-they share things in weird ways. Not sp dom weird, but… a different kind. That one post like “love projecting onto fictional characters so I can reveal deep parts of my psyche without it actually saying anything about me”— very sx 4/fix (both dom sx and aux).

-cares about their existence in terms of individual relations: “do I look like I know what this person really needs from me?” “How are all of my relationships different from each other? Do I treat everyone like an individual? Are my relationships markedly different from one person to the next? Can I merge with this person, even just intellectually or platonically? Am I really interested?”

Of course, aux users of these variants can see aspects of them in themselves.

[queen-mbti]

here’s one among the billions of fake ass cringe stories on tumblr

Ok so today I was on the bus with another trans guy and we were talking about how hard it is to get testosterone. The waiting lists, the price, all the doctors you have to go to, that kind of stuff. Except, we were calling it ’T’, like you do when you’re both closeted and in public.

Then suddenly the elderly lady sitting behind us was like ‘young men, either I’m going crazy or you both have never heard of supermarkets, they have shelves full of tea there! Do you need directions to one?’

To which my buddy starts to explain, because why not. ‘Well you see, we’re both trans, and… ’

The lady didn’t wait for him to finish his sentence. ‘Oh no, I don’t mind that at all! Now do you want to know how to get to a place that sells tea? I’m actually heading there right now!’

We let her take us to the supermarket. We let her show us, excitedly, where the tea was. We both bought loads.

[queen-mbti]

The Sexual Instinct

An Overview of Sx

The Sexual Instinct, above all, seeks stimulation, whether it be physical, mental emotional, etc. This, most of the time, manifests as a want; a need for someone, to be intimate with and to fulfill their inner desires, or “make them whole”.

When Sx finds someone, it knows it wants them, without hesitating to consider the consequences or background of the person. It wants unlimited connection and intimacy with that person, usually, but not necessarily in a sexual or romantic sense, and caters all their actions toward this person, e.g. making the first move in a relationship.

Some authors have sought to tame this Instinct with new names, such as Intimate or One-to-One, but any attempt at reworking the Instinct into something wholesome/spiritual/romantic misses the mark: the Sexual Instinct is an unbridled narcotic of wanting, untethered by ethics/morality.

The most common metaphor for Sx is a burning flame; a raging fire that keeps itself alive by seeking fuel to feed it. On the other hand, Sx can also be represented as rushing water; a river that seeks nothing more than to find its ocean, someone to lose itself into.

Health Levels

(impacts Sx dominants the most)

Healthy Sx

Advancing Relationships

When healthy, Sx can deepen and strengthen relationships and interpersonal bonds, and steadily ringing intimacy levels to greater and greater heights until satisfaction; like a tight-knit family. The Sx user is adequately stimulated, and confident and caring towards their loved ones and intimates. They have a natural magnetism which draws people in, and can control themselves well.

Average Sx

Fixation and Stimulation

The Sx Instinct starts to become (what it deems as) understimulated and dependent on others, whether it be their close friends or acquaintences, to supply it with energy and life, much like a vampire. Instead of deepening their bonds, the Sx user starts to form “fixations”, in which they not only want their person-of-choice’s love and attention, but their “soul” as well. This can be overwhelming for some, and can ironically drive people away with the intensity.

Unhealthy Sx

Obsession and Desperation

The Sx instinct becomes drastically understimulated and desperate for love and/or stimulation, and would go to extreme lengths to attain it. This could lead the Sx user down dangerous paths, such as drug abuse or promiscuity. They become an “adrenaline junkie”, and this attitude often puts off others and drives them away, and if the Sx user cannot find adequate stimulation to sate their desires, they will eventually sink into despair.

Sx-Specifics

Sx in sx/sp

The sx/sp will only *truly* care about those they are close to, and try to push for more and more intimate relationships between people they already know. The energy from this type is given a laser-focused control by the sp, and seeks stimulation, but in a relatively safe way. This stacking is more willing to be friendly or “fake” soc, in order to attract potential friends or intimates. They build upon the (often few) close relationships they already have; many sx/sps have fantasies of whisking away their loved ones to a secluded place where they can do whatever they want, undisturbed by the world.

Sx in sx/so

The sx/so will often seem like they are driven by pure, uninhibited sx, luring people in and trapping them, much like a Venus Flytrap. This stacking is more prone to dependency, bringing awkward intensity into a group, and dragging “fixations” into it. It waits to see whatever looks nice to grab onto, and will fixate until either the target or the sx/so is drained. Sx/so might look desperate to others. Their energy is akin to battering-rams, charging into relationships and breaking walls until they fall, only to get back up again and continue bashing.

Sx in so/sx

The so/sx will have a similar charm and magnetism to the sx/so, but is generally softer and friendlier, ready to take things more steadily instead of rushing headfirst into things. The so/sx will enter a group, and scatter interpersonal energy (Sx) to a more focused area, and form close bonds with their people of choice. However, it would take a while for them to put their sx relations as a priority, and even longer for them to admit it (more commonly in Fe users).

Sx in sp/sx

Sx in sp/sx seems to be weak and almost non-existent at first, since they themselves always come first. They will never put somebody else before their own needs, even if they’re their closest friend. Instead of bulding a castle with their close ones inside like the sx/sp, they build walls around themselves first, secretly hoping for someone to come in. However, this often puts people off becoming closer to them, leaving them alone.

Sx-Blindness

Sx-blinds have a far gentler approach to interpersonal relationships, and are sometimes unsure and cautious in approaching someone they are attracted to. When in a close relationship, they may have trouble or insecurity in showing enough intimacy, and tend to compensate for this through acts of service(so) or advice and stability (sp) for their loved ones and/or partners. Sx blinds also have the tendency to “compartmentalize” their relationships, seperating them and putting them into “boxes” (e.g. work acquaintences, online friends, real life friends, etc. are seperated).

Sx and Correlations to MBTI

Sx dominants are most commonly found in conventional extroverts, and people with strong Se and Fe, such as:

ESTP

ESFP

ISTP

ENFJ

ISFP

[queen-mbti]

“Females carry the marks, language and nuances of their culture more than the male. Anything that is desired or despised is always placed on the female body.”

— Wangechi Mutu (via pairedaeza)

[queen-mbti]

so/sx view on the other IV stackings

***this is just for fun, based on my irl view / stereotypes ~ all types can behave differently based on health levels/values/etc. 

SO/Sx

pros: honestly get along with this stacking so well, definitely on the same wavelength & usually become/are great friends, usually just nice in general

cons: flighty, really needs to work on grounding themselves?? like take care of yourself for once and don’t give everything away to people whether its  emotionally or physically?? know that people will take advantage of you

SX/So

pros: also get along with this stacking. knows what they like, definitely has an alluring aura around them that draws people in, but only they decide who gets to come in or not. I would say much more magnetic than so/sx

cons: can be pretty cold if they decide something is not for them, a little obsessive over certain things that others would be like ???? why ?? also needs to take care of themselves more, but I feel not as willing to rely on others so double whammy?

SO/Sp

pros: can be good friends, especially if you just want someone to chill with & not talk about anything in particular. knows how to play the social game, what will be generally perceived as accepted/rejected by the group you’re in 

cons: reminds me of the cliche, but true, social climber suburbia stereotype? can be shady & pull some stunts if they don’t value you as important to their well-being/life

SP/So

pros: has a softer vibe than so/sp, reminds me of truly just going with the flow, solitary type but not with the intimidating vibes of don’t fucking talk to me types. once you get to know them, they will usually be their for you tend lend a ear; grounded

cons: seemingly a little barren inside, has trouble truly expressing their will, passion, and zest for life with conviction. even tho so-second , can seem a little aloof, disconnected from the social sphere 

SX/Sp (****note: don’t know have too much exp. w/ So-blinds)

pros: also has a magnetic energy about them like sx/so, but in a much more bad boy/bad girl way that draws me in. although not willing to participate in lots of so- activities , not necessarily rejecting people in general. if you connect with them through sx 1-1 , in can be truly a great relationship

cons: ok we get, you’re not like the typical person who doesn’t play by societies rules!!!! ur edgy!!!! (but you kinda want people to know this, even tho you say you don’t care what other people think)

SP/Sx

pros: truly self-sufficient, doesn’t give a shit & takes nobody’s shit. can provide insightful critiques about society as an outsider. if you win the lottery and somehow become close to them, I think they truly will have a deep value for you

cons: irl lone wolf, also edgy but in a more scary, off-putting way. being the outsider of society, who may have valid critiques, but doesn’t willingly want to contribute to change so kinda of contradictory ?? 

[queen-mbti]

another realization

i’m 3w4

[queen-mbti]