qelattes

[qelattes]

[qelattes]

Ya Allah please makes my way to statistika ui through utbk 3 Mei 2024 easy

[qelattes]

He asked me when I fell in love with him and I knew it sounded dramatic to say the moment I saw him, so I told him this story of my grandma who had Alzheimer's- she forgot her name and the words for fruit and food, she forgot her address and how to use the washroom, all her life lost to the disease. The only thing she remembered was her son's name and when that began to fade, the one thing she always remembered was that she loved him, even in illness, even in insanity. She saw this 6 foot 2 man with a scrubby beard and she didn't know him but she said she trusted him, she asked him to hold her hand when she died. When does memory end and love begin? All I know is- she loved him before she remembered him.

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The world is a sphere of ice and our hands are made of fire

[qelattes]

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo

Some of my favorite notes:

“I resolve once again that the answer is somewhere in the middle”

“But I’m pretty sure that’s simply hindsight bias. I’m seeing what I want to see, based on how i know it all turns out”

“I need to know that you will listen to exactly what I’m trying to tell you and not place your own assumptions into my story”

“The part where you accept the apology because it’s easier than addressing the root of the problem”

“Praise is just like an addiction. The more you get it, the more of it you just to stay even”

“Sometimes I hated myself for wanting him, for finding myself brightening up when his attention was on me, for still needing his approval”

“It just goes to show that money can’t buy happiness”

“You could desire someone even when you don’t like him, that you can desire someone especially when you don’t like him”

“But intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them bare and their response is “You’re safe with me” —that’s intimacy.”

“I’m just saying it’s not so great being loved for something you didn’t do”

“Please never forget that the sun rises and sets with your smile. At least to me it does. You’re the only thing on this planet worth worshipping”

“Already realizing that no amount would ever really be enough”

“But no medium can capture what is is to be in someone’s presence, certainly not someone like her. Someone who makes you feel important simply because she’s choosing to look at you”

“Sometimes things happen so quickly you aren’t sure when you even realized they were about to begin”

“It's always been fascinating to me how things can be simultaneously true and false, how people can be good and bad all in one, how someone can love you in a way that is beautifully selfless while serving themselves ruthlessly.”

“We all can’t go around treating people like dog shit and then expecting that a simple I’m sorry erases it.”

“Women have sex for intikacy. Men have sex for pleasure.”

“Guilt is a feeling I’ve never made much peace with”

“I hurt her with these tiny scratches, day after day. And then I got surprised when it left a wound too big to heal.”

“I’d rather survive it than never feel it.”

“I knew he was always doing the very best he could with the pain he felt at any given moment. And this, however tragic, had been the best he could do”

“I missed the only man I’d ever loved with any lasting meaning”

“Those things would come in time.”

“He never replaced Harry. No one could. But he did ease the pain, a little bit.”

“Connor began to trust that the world was a reasonably safe place to open your heart to. knew the wounds of losing her father would never truly heal, that scar tissue was forming all through her high school years.”

“No matter how perfect the day seemed, there was kne ache looking over us night after night”

“We both knew she was making a promise she couldn’t keep.”

“I couldn’t stand the thought of losing her again, losing her in a deeper way than I’d ever lost her before.”

“I have been married seven times, and never once has it felt half as right as this. I think that loving you has been the truest thing about me.”

“I had been my truest self, searching for the help of my best friend to ease the pain of the loss of my lover.”

“I really loved having someone look out for me, having someone to look out”

“I think I’d be willing to omit the truth from public knowledge in the interest of the happiness and sanity of a person I love dearly.”

“she loved Celia in a way that was in turns breathtaking and heartbreaking.”

“I promise that I will repay the favor by loving you unconditionally and accepting you always, so that you feel strong enough and safe enough to do anything you set your mind to. ”

[qelattes]

gak dulu bang

i feel like there is something in his eyes that makes me fall for him again and again 😢

[qelattes]

i feel like there is something in his eyes that makes me fall for him again and again 😢

[qelattes]

do you crazy think over me like i didddd

[qelattes]

The legacies people leave behind in you.

My handwriting is the same style as the teacher’s who I had when I was nine. I’m now twenty one and he’s been dead eight years but my i’s still curve the same way as his.

I watched the last season of a TV show recently but I started it with my friend in high school. We haven’t spoken in four years.

I make lentil soup through the recipe my gran gave me.

I curl my hair the way my best friend showed me.

I learned to love books because my father loved them first.

How terrifying, how excruciatingly painful to acknowledge this. That I am a jigsaw puzzle of everyone I have briefly known and loved. I carry them on with me even if I don’t know it. How beautiful.

~Edit~

Yikes guys I didn’t expect this post to blow up.

I’m grateful it did though. Looking at all the comments and tags really takes a stab at my heart because it just shows how wired we are for connection. If life has any meaning, then it’s that.

This concept really sunk its teeth into me as it reassures the notion that no one is ever truly gone. Parts of them just change into you.

That teacher I talked about inspired me to become a teacher myself. This was my first year teaching. Here’s to a new generation of curved i’s.

[qelattes]

[qelattes]

So Today I stopped thinking…

Every day after school, my brain always tricked me into thinking I can’t do more than two things before I go to the shower. I weirdly thought adding one more thing could disrupt my routine, time, schedule & my rest.

For months, I always have to choose two between going to the gym, doing my laundry, getting my work done, cleaning my room, or whichever I prioritize that day.

But today I stopped thinking and start doing immediate action.

I realize every limitation came from my thought. It’s just me thinking I cannot do more. I put that limitation on myself, it’s non-existent. I have to do it right away to remove any space in my brain to create an excuse not to act.

Today I just do everything without letting my thought interrupt. I can do it all in a few hours, not as busy as I thought. I can still lie down and write this right now.

So tomorrow I will stop thinking (again) whenever I want to do something. Just do it. I won’t let my irrational my fear to take over my mind. It’s silly how the time I’ve spent overthinking things I want to do, took more time than when I’m doing it…

[qelattes]

the moment when you realize how ordinary is a person, it just your love that makes them unique

[qelattes]

cats in the window

[qelattes]

couldn’t be more grateful karna ngerasa semua hal yang gue terima saat ini is actually part of redemption.. makasih banyak Ya Allah 🥺🤍

[qelattes]

after pretty long time, i’m finally fall & broke by a guy at once.

[qelattes]

Silent Night

[qelattes]

LINK: EAT, LOVE, KILL (2022)

[qelattes]

If Only God Granted My Wishes Right away

Sometimes, I wonder how my life would be turned if everything was going as I wished. Will my life be way greater?

If only, God let me into my first shs option on PPDB. Then, I wouldn’t met Gwen and Revita. Also I wouldn’t know how to be full of patiences on facing someone I wish I didn’t meet. Getting into 80 made me know that there are various kinds of life surrounding me.

If only, God let me into my first shs option on school mutation. Then, I probably am suffering right now with my false major. Can’t imagine living a life together with zero excitement cycle.

If only, God let me into my current school earlier. I don’t think I could survive all the shits. Since I wasn’t finished with myself yet that time. I might be buried with insecurities and anxiety all the time. All I can do just hide my pain in day out.

Now I know God let us in a situation not for nothing. He surely knows better what good for us. Couldn’t be more thankful of that for real. He made me being a person who be able to frame out difficulty with a new perspective (still trying though).

He really says don’t beat myself up over thing, because someday I’ll look back and everything will make sense.

So, for the question will my life be way greater? Then, I guess no.