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Bidoof Log 20XX - Day 16 Days without Ryfuba: NOT TODAY!

I woke up today and the first thing I see in the morning was that Ryfuba was on herbs. This may take a while for him to return to normal... guess he's going to go the whole day on herb. Anyways, today is the day that Ryfuba is going to raid the emo cosplayer base! But before, that we ran into a... a... 

Insert chorus here 

An angel... scratch that, a beautiful, blonde, well-endowed angel that smelled the scent of Dawn on Ryfuba's clothes.... She introduced herself as Cynthia, and she took great interest in Ryfuba and his Pokedex. She was very nice and gave Ryfuba HM 01 Cut as a parting gift as well as asking Ryfuba to say hello to the Prof. for her. Well apparently after Cynthia's meeting, Ryfuba completely forgot about raiding the emo cosplayer base and instead started looking at the rent for apartments. 10,000 STEPS REACHED!!!! WHOOOOOOO!!!! Ahem Sorry, don't know what came over me. Where'd all this confetti come from? AND WHY AM I LEADING A PARADE!? .... F**K IT THIS IS AWESOME!  

Insert parade here 

Wow that was fun! Er... now where were we? Oh yeah an old lady gave Ryfuba TM 67 Recycle. Go green or else you hurt Earth-chan! After leaving the apartments, Ryfuba saw a lady in front of the city's gym. It was the Gym Leader Gardenia. Apparently Drokuma had already defeated her... well Ryfuba is going to catch up soon! But isn't her tummy cold? It's rather chilly in Sinnoh, I mean Ryfuba is always wearing his jacket after all. Looks like Gardenia is a Grass-type user. I mean... her name has garden in it, and the gym was pretty green, and it really smelled like that herb shop so I kinda assumed.... Ryfuba went around the gym defeating all the trainers. He had the feel of grass types already, for he had become the grass. Those herbs must've really given Ryfuba a huge advantage! Or the fact that Traktorr is mowing the lawn of its trainers. 

After a little preparation, Ryfuba made his way to Gardenia. The battle began with Gardenia sending out a Turtwig. She must've gotten one from Prof. Rowan too! Doesn't matter though, because Traktorr smacked it down a few. Gardenia's next Pokemon was an odd looking Pokemon called Cherrim. Pico popped out of her ball and pushed Traktorr back. Then she went to town on that poor Cherrim. I could clearly hear Gardenia's cries of horror, "IT'S EATING HER! AND NOW IT'S GOING TO EAT ME! OHHHH MYYYYY GOOOOOODDDDDDD!!!!!" Wow. After Pico's... display... Gardenia sent out her ace Pokemon, a Roserade... I have an odd thirst for tea.... Pico was still in battle, and then she caught sight of Roserade's flower hands. Pico rushed toward the Roserade and... oh my Peanut Butter... th-this is too explicit to write about! 

[W-woah did Pico just put in her... WOAH! This is not meant for the children! Oh wow she's just sucking that Roserade dry! And now she's eating it out! *Gulp* This is quite the spectacle...! Look at all those juices!] 

Pico emerged victorious and looking quite refreshed with some rolled up herbs in her proboscis as she calmly let out a puff towards the Morning Sun... or not. Thanks to Traktorr and Pico, Ryfuba earned himself a Forest Badge and TM 86 Grass Knot. Ryfuba made his way to the PokeCenter where Pico vomited the entrails of the Cherrim and whatever juices she drank from that Roserade due to the Poison she got during the battle. Oh looks like Ryfuba is using the PC. I bet he needs Narkama or Gilly or... or... me? ..... KYAA- [Insert anime girl screaming here] Ｏ(≧▽≦)Ｏ 

Hehehe! Ryfuba needs me again! He taught me Cut! With these teeth of mine I'll cut down all those trees in Ryfuba's way! And if necessary... any Pokemon or trainers who get in his way.... I'm back! I'm finally back! Or for joy! IN YOUR FACE PICO! This is the best. Day. EVER! ヽ(´ω｀○)ﾉ.+ﾟ*｡:ﾟ+

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Bidoof Logs 20XX - Day 15 Days without Ryfuba: IIIII

Why hello everyone, Dager here to entertain you about Ryfuba's journey with the projections of Narkama? Huh? I sound fine? Of course, I know that Ryfuba can't cater to all of our needs, so I can only support him from the sidelines. As long as Ryfuba is happy that's all that matters! ... Yep! That's all that matters! Anyhow, Ryfuba is still in the Eterna Forest with that pretty lady Cheryl and her Chansey. Looks like they finally made it to the end of the forest. Up ahead was this creepy looking mansion. Cheryl stated that it was the Old Chateau and that it was haunted. Looks like she's a bit spooked, wonder if Cheryl has been into that place before? Since Ryfuba safely guided Cheryl to the end of the forest, she thanked him by giving him a Soothe Bell. Maybe he should give it to Raisin to hold, he's getting a little too high and mighty. Instead Ryfuba gave it to Traktorr. Gee, hope that doesn't affect his Intimidate ability. Can you imagine it? A Staravia trying to intimidate you, but just gives you this blissful look? That would totally lower my attack stat. 

Ryfuba exited the forest to Route 205. After trucking through that forest, Ryfuba didn't really feel like catching a Pokemon on this Route... even a Bidoof. Ryfuba picked a few berries and slathered a tree with honey. Wow I sure feel a little hungry... those Budew are always rather tasty, they taste like melon, but I've refrained from eating another Pokemon. It freaks people our. Like Raisin. Always Raisin. Ryfuba decided to battle a few fishermen on the bridge on the Route. Perhaps not the best idea... Cleo may have eaten a few of their Magikarp if not all. Good think Gilly isn't watching all this. I can only pray to the almighty Peanut Butter that their afterlife will be a fine one where they can Splash all day without a care in the world. 

Well look at that! Cleo is finally evolving! Let's see what she turns into! 

Some grotesque growth involving a lot of muscle expansion and bone morphing later 

Eck... still weird as ever... wonder if evolving hurts? But looks like Cleo has evolved into a Luxio. She got a little bigger and she has that ferocious look in her eyes. She also has a mane... huh that doesn't seem right...? But what do I know? Ryfuba made his way into Eterna City, this is the biggest city they've been to so far! Look at all the sights! After making his way to the Pokecenter, Ryfuba decided to play around with his apps on his watch. He got to the friendship checker app to check how everyone felt about him. ..... looks like the only ones who actually likes Ryfuba are Traktorr and Raisin, and I'm kind of sure that was out of pity.... Don't worry Ryfuba! I'll always be on your side! 

Ryfuba saw a bicycle shop and ran towards it, only to find out that the owner was gone. Gasp Looks like all those emo cosplayers have made a base here in this city! It also appears that the owner of the bicycle shop is being held captive! For the sake of popping wheelies, Ryfuba is going to crush them! To the base!  Annnnndddd here's Drokuma.... sigh this f**ker again... pardon my French. He was pretty oblivious to the spiky base and instead dragged Ryfuba towards a huge statue. Looks like someone was there before us, a person in one of those emo cosplayer outfits, but for once he didn't look that generic. He was mumbling to himself, something about time and space. He had this really edgy look on his face as he passed Ryfuba and Drokuma. Wonder who that guy is? Ryfuba took a look at the statue. It was that of a Pokemon, but it looked more like two Pokemon fused together into one. Pokemon fusion? That's silly, we're not monsters that can be fused together into a stronger Pokemon! That only happens in digital stuff! Anyways, Ryfuba better rest up! He's going to need all his strength tomorrow to put the beat down on those emo cosplayers!

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Bidoof Log 20XX - Day 14 Days without Ryfuba: IIII

Sob sniffle hic Ryfuba where are you? I miss you so much! Have you abandoned me? Sob I just feel so depressed... Stage 4 Ryfuba! Stage 4! I don't know if I can go on living without you... I'm so lonely.... Narkama please show me Ryfuba's journey, or else I might start crying more... sniff W-well... Ryfuba and Cheryl are still traveling together.... They look... so nice together. If Ryfuba and Cherly get together... then I... WWWWAAAA-

[We are having some technical difficulties. We're sorry.]   m(_ _)m 

Sniff I'm sorry, I'm not thinking straight today... m-moving on.... It looks like Ryfuba stopped Pico from evolving again, and she's starting to get frustrated... at least YOU'RE with Ryfuba! That Cheryl girl is so pretty when I get a better look at her, maybe even prettier than that nice Dawn girl... but looks like Ryfuba isn't affected by her unintentional womanly charms. P-perhaps there's still hope for me? Also that Chansey kind of scares me a bit... it eats its own eggs! Although they're not fertilized... but still! 

Lately I've been noticing that whenever Traktorr is sent out to battle, Gaks is always watching, and he never pays attention to anything! B-but they're both male! ..... I guess it's just admiration? Or perhaps Gaks has one-sided feelings for... Drool Oh what am I thinking!? Um... after battling a few more trainers, Pico learned Bug Bite and Ryfuba finally decided to let Pico evolve. She shot out a bunch of silk out of her mouth and the silk slowly enveloped her body into a fine cocoon. After the silk settled down, Pico slowly opened her eyes. Her eyes were gentle so that means she evolved into a Silcoon. That means she'll evolve into a Beautifly at her next level if Ryfuba allows it... she's going to look so pretty, I'm so envious.... I wonder if Ryfuba will ever look at me in that way? Sniff 

Pico already leveled up and now she's evolving again. Pico closed her eyes as the cocoon started to pulse. The pulse got faster and faster until a fine crack appeared on top of cocoon. The cocoon ripped open and a pair of beautiful wings emerged from within. Ever so slowly, Pico pulled herself out from her silky interior and eventually took flight. She was already a beautiful Beautifly. BEHOLD THE MONARCH! Ahem I don't know what came over me? Anyhow, Pico is quickly becoming a valuable asset to Ryfuba, she learned Stun Spore which will help give the Paralysis status condition, both useful for battling and catching Pokemon. I wonder if Ryfuba will ever find a use for me anymore...? 

It was getting late and the two were closing in on the exit of Eterna Forest. They decided to make camp and exit the forest the next day. It's been four days since I was last at Ryfuba's side. The team as it is right now is quite good, without me.... Sigh Maybe... maybe it's time to accept the fact that Ryfuba no longer needs me. I'll just be another Pokemon in the PC just like Gilly and Narkama. Those two don't seem to mind the PC, they're always chatting to each other. Perhaps tomorrow, I'll join in on their conversation. Something to take my mind off of Ryfuba... if only for a little bit....

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Bidoof Log 20XX - Day 13 Days without Ryfuba: III

Ryfuba still hasn't come for me... maybe if I offer 1000 poke to the gods? No I'll offer my soul! NO! I'll offer Narkama! No wait, I need him to project Ryfuba's journey to me.... Guess I'm in stage 3.... Well looks like Ryfuba is going through Route 205. Raisin is getting strong, he learned Bubblebeam and everything... actually he might be getting too strong, it's all going to his head. "Murder them all!" Who does he think he is? The Prince of all Saiyans? ... That's right, I have the power of god (Thy name be Peanut Butter) and anime on my side, what about it? Looks like Traktorr and even Gaks are pulling their weight, this is making me a wee bit nervous. Ryfuba did the daily Pico PiNO... I still don't like her taking my spot on the team. 

Everyone's getting stronger from fighting all those trainers... oh look Ryfuba found a Stardust. If I offer that Stardust to the almighty Peanut Butter, will Ryfuba come back to me? And another Pico denial. Oh hey a Picnicker had a Piplup of her own! Obviously Raisin couldn't stand for this, so he forced Pico to switch out with him. There was a little scuffle of pecking and bubbles, but Raisin took the poor little prince down. "NOOT NOOT motherf**ker! There can only be one true king! Come my servants! On to the next one!" Raisin is really starting to scare me. Ryfuba got lucky and found a house to rest in. Good timing too, looks like the Eterna Forest is coming up. Inside the forest, Ryfuba met a beautiful young lady named Cheryl with the most (unnaturally) beautiful green hair I have ever seen... If I offer this girl to the gods, will Ryfuba come back to me? No! Bad Dager, she's probably not even a virgin! .... I need help.... 

Looks like she needed some help getting through the forest, and being the gentleman he was, Ryfuba decided to help escort her. She was pretty gracious and she would heal the team whenever Ryfuba wanted. Throughout the forest, Ryfuba and Cheryl double battled their way through trainers and wild Pokemon alike. Cheryl's Chansey is pretty strong at level 20. She even helped Ryfuba "RYFUBA!!!" a Buneary. Ryfuba named her Jordan... despite the masculine name, she's still rather... sexy.... maybe I can offe- STOP DAGER! It was getting late, so Ryfuba and Cheryl have decided to set up camp. Cheryl seems like a nice girl... but I hope she won't... "do something" to Ryfuba in his sleep. Welp this is the third day without Ryfuba... I'm starting to lose a little hope, but I'm his first caught Pokemon, he'll come! I hope....

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Bidoof Log 20XX - Day 12 Days without Ryfuba: II

ARCEUS I'M SO F**KING ANGRY RIGHT NOW! MOTHERF**KER! MOTHERF**KER!  (╬ﾟ◥益◤ﾟ) 

..... Sigh.... stage 2 huh? I need to calm down and just pay attention to Narkama's projections of Ryfuba's journey. So apparently the door to the windworks was locked from the inside. Looks like Ryfuba needs a key, but where? Ah those emo cosplayers north of Floaroma town! As soon as Ryfuba saw those emo cosplayers, he saw that they wanted some old man's sweet, thick, gooey honey.... this is where Raisin is supposed to snicker... this sucks.... 

So I learned something about Cleo, apparently Cleo's ability Rivalry SUCKS. She's weak towards male Pokemon and only strong towards female. HA! YOU'RE USELESS YOU SL-..... That may have been uncalled for.... Anyways, enough about Cleo, Traktorr is evolving! After some grotesque growth later, Traktorr became a Staravia. Sick hair bruh. Anyways, Ryfuba destroyed those two and the old guy gave him some of his Honey as thanks. Oh yeah Ryfuba also got the key, so that's great. So to use that Honey, Ryfuba has to find a yellow tree and slather some honey on it, and a Pokemon should appear later. Seems tedious and Ryfuba will probably forget all about it. In the house next to the tree, Ryfuba was watching TV and apparently someone was secretly recording him fishing... STALKERS!!! Ryfuba has to bring me along to protect him! I'LL RIP OUT THEIR THROATS!!! ... ahem .... 

Ryfuba ran to the Valley Windworks and unlocked the door. After annihilating the emo cosplayer grunts, Ryfuba found the little girl's pops. He was being help hostage by one of the emo cosplayers' four commanders! And she's pretty to boot! That means only one thing... with that beauty... COMES IDIOCY!!! Her name was Mars, probably based off the planet, and her hair was red... like the planet... she must be a martian! Whatever, Ryfuba has to beat her to save the workers! 

Raisin took care of Mars' Zubat pretty easily. Mars then sent out her trump ca- HOLY CRAP WHAT IS THAT!? IT'S SO F**KING UGLY!!! Oh it's in it's name... go figure... wow Nermal really let himself go... he spent too much time around Garfield... WAIT THAT THING'S A GIRL!? .... yeah I read the Sunday comics, bite me! It's pretty fat, so I bet it has bulky defense, but Punchi has got this. After beating the ever lasting crap out of Chubbs McKenzyie, Ryfuba defeated that Mars lady. Ryfuba saved the workers and that girl's pops and the emo cosplayers disappeared somewhere. 

After leaving the Windworks, that Looker guy came out of nowhere a little late to the party... geez what a creep, and he calls himself a detective? He left as quickly as he arrived and Ryfuba was just left there with questions. After some preparation, Ryfuba decided to take a rest before going to the next town. This is day 2 without my Ryfuba... I bet he'll come pick me up at the next town.... HE BETTER PICK ME UP! (╬ﾟ◥益◤ﾟ)

 .... I need a Snickers..... (´ω｀*)

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Bidoof Log 20XX - Day 11 Days without Ryfuba: I

He'll come for me.... any day now... he still needs me! RIGHT NARKAMA!? (zzzzzzzzzzz....) 

RIGHT!!!! Until then Narkama, you need to keep me posted on EVERYTHING that Ryfuba is doing! Ok let's see what's happening now. Grrr look at them... training that Pico... how dare that illegal immigrant take my spot! I swear, once that Pico learns Bug Bite, BAM! Instant betrayal! .... What is wrong with time? Just a single day without Ryfuba, and I'm already like Cleo. 

(Meanwhile with Ryfuba, Cleo sneezes) 

Well if anything, I can praise Ryfuba for being so patient in training that Wurmple. Look at all those Shellos he's taking down. Gaks looks like he might be traumatized... no wait that's his usual face. GASP Ryfuba went back to the Pokecenter! Come to me masterrrr..... oh.... Next time for sure! Bah even Cleo is getting stronger, she just learned Spark. I bet she's going to have a field day rubbing that in my face.... Sigh I guess Ryfuba is not coming for me toda- HE'S BACK!!! Ryfuba take me back! Dager misses youuuuuu.... F*CK! Tis a sad day for all of Dager kind today.... 

Well, looks like Ryfuba is challenging the emo cosplayers. I hope he'll be fine without me, aside from Raisin, I'm his number 1. Looks like he didn't have any trouble beating the first one. Punchi sure has it going on. Oh what's this PIco is evolving? Well good for her.... NOT! Ryfuba is just going to play around with her until she learns Bug Bite. Hope you have the patience for that Pico! .... It's been a rough day.... I miss my cuddle bear Ryfuba....  ( ´•̥̥̥ω•̥̥̥` )

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Bidoof Log 20XX - Day10

You know it's a good day when the first thing that happens to you is that two little girls run up to you saying they want a piece of you... wait that came out wrong! Raisin I swear to Arceus, It's too early to be laughing this much! Sigh Anyways, Ryfuba had to take on the two little girls and their... GASP two beast slaying Pachirisu!? WE'RE F**KED!!! Those things can survive meteorites! How will we defeat two of them!? ...... Not that badly actually... the most that those two got for them was that they were fast. Maybe the legends were exaggerated? Meh wuteva! 

We made our way to Floaroma Town, the town of flowers. This place smells great! It's definitely boosting my girl power! I'm just oozing femininity here! LOOK AT ME OOZE!!! Cough er... forget what I said... Cleo I didn't mean for anything to happen, I swear to Peanut Butter! Around town we found TM 09 Bullet Seed. Too bad I can't learn it, my mouth would be perfect for stuffing a lot of seed in! Raisin why are you laughing? Cleo why are you giving me the death stare? I don't get it.... ヾ(ｏ･ω･)ﾉ 

In town, we went inside a flower shop. Kinda ironic to have one considering the whole town is full of em. We got some stuff like a Cheri Berry and a Sprayduck. We should probably keep the Sprayduck away from Cleo, who knows what she'll do with it? North of the town, we saw more of those emo cosplayers, sorry, Team Galactic. Wonder what they're doing there? Nothing good I bet! We left east of the town to Route 205 and picked some more berries. A little girl ran up to Ryfuba practically begging us to help save her pops from the emo cosplayers. Ryfuba is a man of JUSTICE, so of course we're gonna help! Ryfuba dashingly made his way to the Valley Windworks to take down the emo cosplayers! Right after "RYFUBA!!!"ing a pink blobby Shellos and naming him GAKS. And right after returning to Floaroma Town's Pokecenter to swap Narkama for GAKS. And swapping me for Pico... wait... NANI DA F*CK!? 

One mid-life crisis later ଘ(੭*◕ฺω◕ฺ)੭ 

Sniff Ok... this is permanent. I bet Ryfuba just doesn't need me right now, and he'll bring me back later.... yeah.... YEAH! That's it! Haha, I was worried over nothing! Well for now, I'll have Narkama use his psychic powers to keep me updated since he has nothing else to do since... well you can all probably guess.... From what Narkama has shown me, before actually saving that poor girl's pops, Ryfuba decided to train everyone a bit. That's so smart of Ryfuba, everyone has to be at least as strong as me before challenging the emo cosplayers! Apparently Pico was about to evolve, but Ryfuba stopped her(HA TAKE THAT YOU'RE USELESS), so that she could learn Bug Bite at level 15 (REEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!). Well looks like Ryfuba's day is over. I'm still in the box. It's more comfortable than I thought, I wouldn't mind staying her a little longer. But I hope Ryfuba comes back for me soon, I want to go on an adventure!

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Bidoof Log 20XX - Day 9

We began the day with Ryfuba downloading more apps on his watch. First thing first, writing Butts  But's But on his memo pad app. A quick pickup of a Narkama later, we went to leave Jublife City. There we ran into the Prof. and that nice Dawn girl. They were being confronted by... GASP EMO COSPLAYERS!!! Whatever, what's important right now is to show the Prof. our new Gym Badge and our Pokedex progress. The emo cosplayers were egging on the Prof., but since he was old and wise, he gave them what for. A good ol' fashioned lecture! You know, I guess it's true that old people get more savage with age... or was that wiser? Whatever. Anyways, looks like Ryfuba and Dawn are going to kick some weeb arse! .... Wait that's not the definition of weeb? ..... Oh... ok then.

The arse kicking of these emo dudes, also called Team Galactic by the way (Lammmmeee), began! They had a Stunky and a Glameow, two Pokemon we haven't seen before, but that's ok since we have the power of god and anime bonds and friendship Dager on our side! Dawn sent out her Chimchar, and Ryfuba swapped out Narkama with Punchi. After beating some furries, we chased off those Galactic Grunts. The Prof. gave Ryfuba some much deserved praise and some old people wisdom before he and Dawn had to leave. After the pair left, some random tubby walked up to us saying how cool we were battling. He came from a TV station and gave Ryfuba a Fashion Case. Great, now Ryfuba can make me even more pretty than I already am! Ryfuba clearly wanted to dress us up, so he ran to the TV station to dress one of us up. Raisin became fluffy af... Cleo is drooling... just gonna step away before this place floods with whatever fluids Cleo may or may not be excreting.... ewww..... 

After all that fun, we made our way to the Ravaged Path, which thanks to me, we can finally get past! We also found TM 39 Rock Tomb, a move that traps the opponent with rocks. I found it... after smashing some rocks.... oh the irony.  After leaving the Ravaged Path, we came out on Route 204. We ran into a Wurmple, which Raisin practically begged Cleo not to kill for Ryfuba's sake. She was reluctant, but we were able to add that Wurmple to our ranks. She has received the name Pico. BELIEVE IN PICO! .... That doesn't sound right? Oh look Pico dropped something before she got transported! It's a note which says.... BOKU NO .... what does it mean?  Welp, looks like the day is almost over. I can smell something nice nearby, wonder what it is? Looks like we'll find out tomorrow, but until then, I'm a nap.

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Bidoof Log 20XX - Day 8

Time to leave this not so much coal mine... I'M SORRY I TURNED IT ALL HARD AND SHINY!!! I promise by my ball, POKEBALL RAISIN, that I will not use Rock Smash recklessly without a Gym Badge ever again! Well guess it's time to challenge the Gym now! We're going to "rock" this Gym! .... I'm not sorry. Wow Raisin is just ruthless with those bubbles! He just beats down all those Rock-type Pokemon with a triumphant, "Noot noot mudafackas!". Raisin really should've been named something else like Pengu! Nah that's lame. Oh neat Raisin's evolving! 

A few seconds of grotesque growth later 

Wow... that was gross... but look how tall he grew! He's a Prinplup now, and he got Metal Claws! So jealous... all I have are stubby paws. I bet I'm going to evolve into something awesome! Ryfuba would be lost without my evolution! I can't wait! Alright, looks like we have to fight Dwayne the Roark Johnson now... LET'S DO THISSSSS!!!! 

.... 

Wow... that was depressing... Raisin instantly drowned Roark's Geodude and Onix with Bubbles... and when that Cranidos showed up.... Raisin just went easy on the guy and gave him a freebie. That thing's hard head just bounced off Raisin's plumpy belly. Roark used a Potion to heal up that Cranidos, but Raisin just made sure that it stayed extinct. Savage af, didn't even use his new claws. That evolution is getting to his head. Now he's constantly saying, "I AM THE PRINCE OF ALL PENGUINS!". Ok dude, chill.... Well that was an easy victory, and to us go the spoils, the... Coal... Badge and TM 76 Stealth Rock. 

After a quick trip to the PokeCenter, Ryfuba rubbed the sh*t out of his Coal Badge... woah it's all shiny now! Now I feel less bad about what I did to the mine! Uh... I mean... (sh*t!) Oh hey look it's Drokuma! After some annoying and useless information from him, we went back into Oreburgh Gate and I could finally use my now licensed Rock Smash. Sweet no shiny rocks! I HAVE THE POWER! Thanks to all my smashing, we found TM 70 Flash... I'll keep this away from Cleo.... In case she wants to try anything with Ryfu... RAISIN!? 

(◕⌂◕⊃⊃) Is anyone seeing this!? 

W-well... I guess I don't have anything to worry about anymore? Anyways, we made it back to Jublife City just to run into that creepy Looker dude. He started talking about a Pal Pad... I swear if this perv is thinking of picking up children... we'll have Cleo sick em! Right Cleo!? Annnnddd... she's being smitten with Raisin.... no Raisin I will not help you. Well for now looks like we'll be resting here for the night. Man smashing all those rocks made me pretty jacked... I hope it doesn't destroy my  feminine image... pfffttt no way!

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Bidoof Log 20XX – Day 7

OMG SOMETHING LONG, BLACK, AND HARD!!! Awww… Raisin made it go limp… thanks Raisin… -_- Well guess we have to explore more of this mine. After Raisin drowned a few more dudes, (and another long, black, hard thing), we found the Oreburgh Gym Leader. He really tried to impress us by smashing a rock. Great fantastic, I could do that too… but I just don’t have my license let (grumble grumble stupid license, who the f*ck needs a license to smash rocks? Grumble grumble…). Anyway, looks like we can challenge the Gym Leader now, so we’re going to leave the mine. But before that, we should probably train up, don’t wanna lose anyone at the first gym, that would be embarrassing… Cleo. 

Well looks like we’re good enough to challenge the gym. I think my muscles are starting to grow! Well let’s get out of here already. Wait hold on, you guys head on without me for a bit, I’ll be right back. 

A few minutes later 

I tried to practice using Rock Smash before getting the Gym Badge… I failed… none of the rocks were smashed. Instead I turned all that coal into something harder… and shiny…. Man… this sucks… I probably ruined the mine, there’s not a single piece of coal left, just shiny stuff. Hope no one knows what I did, this would probably be a scandal… I can see it now…. 

"Awesome strong Bidoof turns all the coal in the city into shiny stuff instead! City falls into a great depression!" 

Oh well… the least I can do is bring this big shiny rock I made as a reminder of my sin. I can only pray to the great Peanut Butter that I am forgiven. As my punishment I’ll sleep on my shiny rock tonight!

I’ve made a terrible mistake….

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Bidoof Log 20XX - Day 6

MUDAFACKIN DROKUMA! We ran into blondie on the way to the gym, what an annoying start to a morning. He already fought the Gym Leader, who apparently went into the coal mines. If Drokuma could beat the Gym Leader, Ryfuba would destroy them! After some legal breaking and entering and taking people's valuables and balls, we decided to take a field trip to the Oreburgh Mining Museum. Well that was underwhelming. If I wanted to see something big, black, and hard, I'd go looking for an Onix. 

We decided to explore north of city in Route 207 and we ran into a Machop. GEEZ why are their ribs so skinny!? I've heard of lightweight before, but holy miltanks, I could play the xylophone on those! A successful "RYFUBA!!!" later, the Machop was caught and he was named Punchinilu. Meh, I think Broly would've been a better name. WEN BROLY!? After Traktorr acquired the MaChopping Block Title, we went back to the PokeCenter to take Punchinilu with us and to give Ping a vacation. Punchinilu is a mouthful, I'll just call him Punchi. Who's a good Punchi? You are! Who wants a poffin? You do! Have a poffin! Tosses Poffin Don't ask where I got that. 

Well time to go the mines. We ran into a Geoduuu....dette. Who named Geodude anyway? DAZ SEXTIST! Anyways, thanks to my help (That's right, me!), Ryfuba Ryfuba-ed himself a Geodude(tte). Her name is now Poppi Roxx. That name sure... ROCKS ba dum tss! .... I'm not sorry. Raisin take your face out of your fins! Well the night is coming, so I guess we'll have to camp out in the mines. Can't be too bad, coal is soft enough to sleep on right?

I've made a terrible mistake.

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Bidoof Log 20XX - Day 5

My name is Dager and I'm here to say, I'm gonna level up in a major way.

Level six, level seven, sending fools to pokeheaven, level eight, level nine, feeling good about his power of mine. 

Getting my bros to do the fighting, while I sit back and do a little lighting. (*Puff...*) 

You all think I'm just a ball of fluff? Wait till you get hit with this body of buff. Training with Ryfuba I gotta say, all this strength is a good enough pay. 

People say I'm just a weakling and that be the truth. Underestimate me... and you dun doofed.... 

Annnnnnnddddd.... I'm never doing that again.... Raisin why do you make me do these things!? STOP LAUGHING! Look, Cleo is looking at me in disdain, Traktorr is trying to pretend he doesn't know me, Ping doesn't give a sh*t he has too much to worry about because of his brittle bones, and Narkama... is asleep! Great, now everyone thinks I'm a laughing stock! HM 06 Rock Smash? Give me that, I want smash Raisin's skull. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T USE IT OUTSIDE BATTLE YET!? Whatever I don't even care anymore. Hey look, Cleo went yandere again and killed a female Psyduck! Yeah isn't that right Ryfuba, she's a bad girl right? Hahahaha... (take the attention off of me...) 

After what seemed like hours of embarrassment, we finally made it to Oreburgh City. Yay... nothing happened except my mortifying... twenty? Twenty minutes? Twenty minutes of shame. Well it could be worse. It could have been an hour.

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Bidoof Logs 20XX - Day 4

Yeah... keep grinding... that's how you like it. Nice and hard grinding... don't stop, keep going until we collapse. Now we'll get all sweaty and exhausted from all that grinding... Raisin why are you laughing? All I'm saying is that Ryfuba is grinding us... oh... I'll just uh... cross that out.... Ahem, as I was saying, Ryfuba was training us up because we didn't really have anything better to do. Then he realized that we never checked to the right of the city, so we decided to take a quick peek. On Route 203 we ran into Drokuma who started screaming about his little boy parts. I guess that means he wants to battle? 

 His first Pokemon was a Starly likeTraktorr. It kept growling at Cleo like some sort of messed up mating cry while Cleo kept beating down screaming "FOR MY DARLING TRAINER, PLEASE DIE!"... this must be one of those, what humans call... a yandere.... I do not want to f*** with that. Anyways, all that growling lowered Cleo's attacked too much, so Raisin had to come in and finish the job. He drowned the Starly with bubbles and let out a triumphant "NOOT NOOT MOTHERFU-" yeah you get the idea. So Drokuma's next Pokemon was a Turtwig. Pretty bulky thing, but Traktorr has this one in the bag. The Turtwing used Withdraw to increase it's defense, but Traktorr wasn't going to take that sh*t. He hopped up to it and b*tched slapped it with his wing. Critical hit... neat. So we just destroyed Drokuma just like that. 

Drokuma was a sore loser, saying that this was the last time he would lose (sure), and that he was going to challenge the Oreburgh City Gym. Pfffttt good luck, his arms are like twigs, do you even lift bro? Ryfuba started to walk in the grass to see if he could find a Pokemon good enough to join the team. Oh neat we ran into an Abra. We better catch it quick before it tele- "RYFUBA!!!!!" -ports... never mind. So Narkama is going to be our new pal, but for now he's going to take some time to chill in the PC. I wonder what it's like to be in a PC, kinda creeps me out to be honest. Good thing I was Ryfuba's first ever caught Pokemon, he'll NEVER put me in the PC, I'm too special for that! Well so much for Narkama's chill time, looks like he's coming with us instead of Gilly. Will Gilly be alright in there? She's a fish in a forest, I don't think that's healthy for her. Oh well, worst case scenario, we'll know what we're having for dinner. 

Ryfuba got a Quick Claw from some nice lady and gave it to Raisin to hold. Wonder what that claw came from, and what makes it help us move fast? The world may never know.... Later on, I was able to get a level in and learned Growl thanks to Traktorr tagging in for me. I bet I'm going to be super helpful whenever I evolve and that Ryfuba will want to keep me on the team forever. I'll keep dreaming of that day, but for now it's time for a rest. I better hide this book from Cleo again, or else I might get eaten. I know I'll put my favorite #FucKonami cover over it! Perfect!

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Bidoof Logs 20XX - Day 3

#FUCKONAMI! ... I don't know why, but I had the sudden urge to say that, as if the will of the universe made me do so... or I'm just tired from playing card games. You know, I don't know I feel starting the morning with an old man giving Ryfuba his long, hard, and well used Old Rod. I never figured him to be the type to fish anyways. Ryfuba caught himself a big Magikarp. It was an energetic thing, but Ryfuba got it down. He threw down a Pokeball in the water, raised his hands, screamed "RYFUBA!" and forced the fish into the ball. Ryfuba decided to name her Gilly... hmm... I wonder if Magikarp taste good? I could go for some sushi.... Anyways, Ryfuba made his way to Route 204. After having a kid realize his dad didn't love him because he gave him a Magikarp, we ran into a Starly. A few "RYFUBA!!!"s later, Ryfuba caught it and nicknamed him Traktor. Traktor is rather... plump... I wonder how Starlys taste? Hmm.... I've been really hungry lately, even Raisin... is starting... to look... rather tasty.... droollllll 

My hunger is satiated.... those Budew that Traktor defeated tasted like melon! After a quick trip to the Pokecenter to heal us up, and to clean off the bloooo.... pollen, we headed into the Ravaged Path. Why is Raisin snickering? There were rocks everywhere, so the path was blocked off. Feeling discouraged, Ryfuba Ryfubaed a Zubat and named her Ping. Now that I think about it, how does Ryfuba do that? He must have great potential only being Tien, cough cough I mean ten. Welp today was boring, we got a few new friends so that's neat. Time to call it a day... #FUCKONAMI! ... What?

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Bidoof Log 20XX - Day 2

Sniffle... that SKANK Cleo violated my poor book yesterday... the only way I could save my precious book was to agree to be her personal tale taker.... But jokes on her, it's still my Bidoof Log! As revenge, I won't write a single thing about her! Ha ha ha! .... No I won't stoop to her level... I'll have my revenge some other way.... Oh well, we made it to a place called Jubilife City. Uh... isn't it kind of pointless to have a town 3 minutes away though? Humans are so weird with their buildings. We met that Dawn girl in the city and she was going to take us to a place where Ryfuba could learn more about Pokemon. On the way though, we ran into some weirdo dashing between light posts like a ninja. We decided to confront this guy and well he kind of admitted that he was part of the International Police even though we didn't ask. He must SUCK at his job. Although when this Looker called said he was part of the police, Raisin flinched and something fell from his... cape... feather... thing...? I caught a glimpse of something green before Raisin snatched it back up and hid it in his... blue thing... and put his hand to his beak as to tell me to not speak or die. Ok then.... 

This Looker guy kept talking on and on... Ryufuba got a VS Seeker from him, so at least he wasn't wasting our time. When he was finally done, he dashed away... he must be a lonely dude. Dawn resumed her guidance and we arrived at the Trainer's School. Drokuma was apparently there too. Wow I've never seen a human school before. I mean, I've went to school myself, but it was a religious school where we learned about our lord and liberator, the godly Bidoof, Peanut Butter. After a quick trip to the center, Ryfuba went to the school and saw Drokuma was still there, so he gave him the Parcel Drokuma's mom asked us to deliver. It contained a Town Map and some meds. Drokuma had an extra so he gave Ryfuba one... the map, not the meds.

After schoolhouse ROCKING some nerds, Ryfuba ran into a guy selling watches... I've seen enough movies to see where this is going... (don't ask how). Apparently not, Ryfuba has to find... clowns.... who will give quizzes to give him an opportunity to get some coupons. What is this? The Joker's minions who got laid off and started working for the Riddler? (DON'T ASK) So Ryfuba got himself a sweet watch with several apps on it. Kids these day amiright? Ryfuba loved playing with the calculator app. He laughed hysterically after getting 80081E2... I don't get it... Raisin apparently did though. 

Before going to a new Route, Ryfuba explored the city some more. We ran into a legendary beast hunter Pachirisu too. Wow I though those things were just a myth! I heard one took a direct Draco Meteor and came out barely scathed! Coooolll.... Ryfuba visited the company that made the watches to see if he could get some more apps. I don't know, I don't really trust these Crapple products... I kind like the microfluff products better. Before turning in for the day, Ryfuba got interviewed on what he thought about the Pedometer app. He said "Gotcha" because, well, he's got it. 

Welp that was a good day for my Bidoof Log. Let's get some sleeee..... HEY CLEO! Your tales? Doing GREAAATTTT!!! Hahaha... (This is going to be a long night...)

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Ryfuba’s Nuzlocke Journey

Dear Diary, I have encountered a trainer, the first in a long time! Wow they have a Piplup! I hope he wants a Starly on his te- 

Bidoof Log 20XX

Finally, I have decided to take over the Sinnoh region! For years, my people have been suppressed to discrimination and mockery for our weakness and our derpy looks. No longer! I will start Sinnoh's conquest with this trainer. If I defeat him, others will join me! HAVE AT THEE YOU SCUM!!!! ........... 

Gawrsh howdy there everybody! I'm Dager! I was just caught by this mighty fine trainer Ryfuba! I'm going to be great on this team! With my powers of cuddliness and derpiness, my trainer will have no rival! I got to meet my trainers ma! What a nice lady she is! My ma was a nice Bidoof... MAAAAA!!!!!! D'X So this lady ran into Ryfuba's house and asked him to deliver something to her son Drokuma. My trainer is a nice trainer so he was going to do it for her! Since I'm on this team, I might as well git along with my teammate. Put er there Raisin! .... My he sure is prideful! He seems nice enough though! ............ He killed dozens of my people... He drowned them with his bubbles... He screamed Noot Noot after each one... :'( Ryfuba ran into a pretty little thing named Dawn. She taught him how to catch... a Bidoof.... What did that Bidoof say? Something about conquest? Sounds familiar... Welp! :D We ran into a Shinx on Route 3. Ryufuba wanted her... so he caught her. Her name is Cleo now. Nice to meet ya, put er there! Huh? What am I writing in? This is my Bidoof log! I write stuff in it! Huh? You want me to give it to you? Well I don't know if I can do tha- HEY! Give it back! Nuuuuuuuu!!!!! 

Bidoof Log 20XX Tales of Cleo Part 1: 

My awakening My name... is Cleo.... I am of the noble Shinx! My trainer Ryfuba has captured me... he has good taste. For I am truly a queen meant to rule over these peasants! I've heard trainers bring out the best in their Pokemon, if I travel with this boy, all others will bow to my majesty! OH HO HO HO! Of course, my tales HAVE to be recorded, so that Bidoof "offered" to give me her book. It smells funny, but I can't be picky now. Ah quite a day it is, the sun is setting and the rays are over my brilliant pelt. This book will record everything I have to offer! But for now, I need my beauty sleep.... 

*Somewhere Dager is crying clutching her book*

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Hoenn Saga Team Maqubi's Journal Final Day: Part 2 The Champion

This is it everyone, the end of the line, and it all ends with the champion. Maqubi climbed up all those stairs and entered the final chamber. Well look who it was... it's that pretty boy Wallace! So that's what he meant by business and why his mentor took back the gym.... Well, looks like this is the final battle. Can't say that I'm not nervous... but heck, the adrenaline will help right? Let me take a deep breath... *Inhale*... *Exhale*... Let's go! 

The battle began with the Water Champion Wallace, and he began the battle with a colossal Wailord! Just by his first Pokemon, this would be a tough battle. Even if his Pokemon is stronger by just one level, we shouldn't underestimate him. Shury, Ken started with a Thunderbolt which did a good amount of damage. The Wailord in return used Rain Dance. That will boost the power of Water moves, but they won't do much against Shury, Ken. With the amount of damage that Shury, Ken dealt, Wallace had no choice but to use a Full Restore. However, he didn't use another Full Restore like Maqubi hoped for, and ended up having Wailord being defeated by another Thunderbolt. If he isn't using another Full Restore... then he's probably saving it for his ace! 

Wallace's second Pokemon was Ludicolo, which is also a Grass type.... MyEX is probably the best choice against that kappa. MyEX tried to use Toxic, but the Ludicolo used Double Team the turn before, and the Toxic ended up missing (Hope we don't have to pay for that wall). The second one got in though, and the Ludicolo became badly poisoned, but it still continued to use Double Team. MyEX was prepared for this however, and used Shock Wave for a guaranteed hit, but it didn't do that much. But the Ludicolo's attacks weren't that strong against MyEX's defense either. Maqubi decided to have MyEX also use Double Team, a good plan since Leech Seed just missed. It was a good strategy to whittle down the Ludicolo's health with the poison, and then using Shock Wave just before it hit the red, causing the poison to take out the last of its health before Wallace could use a Full Restore. 

Next up was Gyrados, that big thing had Intimidate, but MyEX was a special attacker. A single Shock Wave took out more than half of its health, and even though the Gyrados used Dragon Dance, it was still too slow to attack before another Shock Wave took it down. The fourth Pokemon was Whiscash, completely resistant to Electric-type moves thanks to being part Ground-type. The Game was swapped in, and just in time to take an Earthquake which didn't do too much. Even though The Game wasn't a special attacker, a Giga drain was enough to do two thirds of damage to the Whiscash's health. Another one finished the job, and healed up The Game a little. 

Wallace's next Pokemon and possibly his ace, was a Milotic. Woah that thing is gorgeo-... it's a male... DESTROY IT! The Game tried to set up a Leech Seed, but that Milotic  was really fast and ended up using an Ice Beam. The Ice Beam made direct contact with her... the ice encased her whole body. Right before it encased her head, we saw that she had a satisfied looking smirk on her face. She said only one thing, 

"Clear this game without any continues!"

With those last words, the ice encased her face. We have lost The Game... the greatest game in the world.... The Milotic didn't even care that it had just killed a member of our team and swung its tail at our frozen Breloom companion. Her body shattered into millions of ice crystals... that's it... game on! MyEX was sent out to avenge The Game and got a Toxic in. That Milotic was freaking strong, almost taking out MyEX too. Even with Double Team, that thing was still able to hit MyEX. When we thought we were about to avenge The Game, that Milotic used Recover.... The cycle of Shock Wave and Recover persisted over a few turns, and to make matters worse, Wallace used a Full Restore to also get rid of Toxic's poison. Luckily, MyEX was able to land another Toxic, and the cycle of attacking and Recover happened again. A second and even third time, Wallace used a Full Restore, and the cycle repeated once more. Maqubi was getting hysterical, throwing several Poke Balls and even the only Master Ball at the Milotic. I get Maqubi, it killed The Game... but we have to keep our cool! We need to finish this with no continues right!? Finally after who knows how many turns, the Toxic poison had reached the level where it could defeat the Milotic at two thirds of its health. See that? No continues... this was for The Game.... The battle wasn't over yet, Wallace still had a Tentacruel left. In the end, it didn't matter, with the Milotic out of the way, the rest of history. 

We have done it! We may have lost The Game, but she was able to at least make it to the final stage! Maqubi has beaten the Champion! Wallace walked up to Maqubi and congratulated her on her victory over him (F*CK YOU MAN!). So Maqubi has finally become the new Champion of Hoenn. Out of nowhere, Brendan Ethan just barged in. He wanted to give some advice before she fought the Champion, but well, you already know what happened. He just looked so dumbfounded after realizing what happened and right behind him was Prof. Birch. He congratulated Maqubi on her victory and checked her PokeDex one last time. Just one last thing to do now; Wallace started to lead Maqubi to one last room, but stopped when he saw Brendan (Ethan) try to follow us. Sorry pal, only Champions can enter this room, and that's what we are! Champions... OF THE WORLD! 

Brendan (Ethan) ended up waiting outside with Prof. Birch and Maqubi followed Wallace into the room. This was the room where they kept the records of all the trainers who became Champions and there was a machine just for their Pokemon. Maqubi carefully place our PokeBalls on the machine as they recorded us and her into their databases. With me, Shruy, Ken, Cotton Jim, MyEX, Grampa, and the now deceased The Game, we became Champions with our Maqubi. We're so proud of her... sniff I'm not getting emotional!

With all that happened, Maqubi decided it was time to head on home. She road her bike across several cities and Routes, and heck, even Brendan (Ethan) was allowed to follow us. During the trip back, Maqubi remembered every Pokemon she had caught and had been with us throughout the whole adventure. The ones who fought with  her over time, the ones who were safe in the PC (Looking at you Melvin Tooz), and the ones who had died (Rest in Peace guys). Maqubi remembered them all. 

You know, ever since Maqubi chose me to help her save the Professor, I never expected to go on a journey quite like this. I got to see lots of pretty ladies, had the battles of my life, and heck, even some drama. It's all been pretty fun, with Maqubi, and everyone else. Now the journey is over... and I guess this journal will be too. Look at all these entries we had written together... they were all great (Yes EVEN Melvin Tooz's).... This is the last page though... hope anyone who has found this journal enjoyed Maqubi's adventure, because I know that we did. Until then, we'll just be living our lives in our home... the Hoenn Region.... 

Team Maqubi's Journal 

-Fin