pyaargulzar
pyaargulzar
pyaar gulzar
55 posts
where jalebis meet journals, and boardrooms meet bookshelves. all things IPK + ZGH
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pyaargulzar · 1 month ago
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so real
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Hear me out, the way he's looking at Lavanya here, omg, my heart can't handle it! They may not have been meant to be, but let's be real, they were totally an adorable couple <3
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pyaargulzar · 2 months ago
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Happy 14 years!
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Tagging: @hand-picked-star @phuljari @msbhagirathi @thenainitaldisaster @thedupattaknowswhatsup @jalebi-weds-bluetooth @barshifan @andli @shiyaravi @chutkiandchotte @laad-governess @minpdnim @bigfatreader @arshiradio @simplycurlz @scorpio-smiles @bengudill @exosexosekai @0218fm @chaiandtakkar @colorfulangelpeach
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pyaargulzar · 2 months ago
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fourteen !! 🌟🎂💘
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pyaargulzar · 2 months ago
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HAPPY 14 YEARS OF IPKKND!!! God! Isn't 14 special? So, here's a little something for it... Click on the link and dive in....
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Blazing Garnet
Khushi's fingers couldn't get enough of the fabric that belonged to the gorgeous maroon saree that lay beside her and her eyes stayed fixed at the dainty diamond set that accompanied it.
She was expected to attend this fancy charity auction with her husband, and so these had been sent over from AR. She didn't know whether the event had been organised in the last minute or she had been shoved with the information that she'd been joining, in the last minute. Either way, she was in no mood to attend a Gala. But, did she have the option to sit out? Absolutely Not!
She sighed in resignation. The happenings of the previous day had completely shaken her and left her feeling numb. She had told the truth and Arnav had chosen not to believe her. There, Khushi was still stagnant there, still unable to process what he thought about her. How could she? How could anyone? He'd questioned the very morals around which she'd built her whole life, the very base of her belief system.
It felt like life had been drained out of her and her insides felt like they'd been iced to numbness, expect a fresh jolt of pain ripped through her everytime she thought of his accusations.
She couldn't feel anything, not the tears she'd been shedding, not the anger that'd been simmering underneath nor the disappointment that'd been lingering, She couldn't feel anything but the raw glaring emptiness that was eating her from inside out.
She had thought, proving him wrong would make her feel better. The only way she could do that, was to involve her family or have the snake confess and either way was out of question. She'd finally resorted to trying to convince him, speak sense into him.
So, she had spent the whole of the previous day at his office waiting hour after hour to talk to him, she hadn't got the chance to and suddenly she hadn't felt as hopeful anymore. When he'd finally come home, not only had the words failed her, but, she'd let him have the final say! He'd told her to only do what she was told to do by him.
Or, her efforts had been subconsciously half hearted to the least, because, she could no longer see what the point was, what she would do if he decided to still remain unconvinced.
So, Khushi had decided on it. She was going to follow whatever he asks of her until the contract comes to an end. Because, there weren't anymore fights left in her. She convinced herself, lesser the drama, easier the parting.
That morning, when he'd instructed her about the event, she simply nodded, no questions asked and she could see it, the glint of surprise in his eyes, when she hadn't offered any resistance.
With only an hour left before Mohan could pick her up and drop her at the venue, Khushi willed herself, to get up and get ready.
It was time for Khushi to become Arnav Singh Raizada's Wife, a decoy no less, with the over-priced saree and the expensive jewellery and all the glitz and glam. She was pretty sure, she was going to feel horribly foreign in her own skin and she was going to hate every bit of it. But that was what Arnav had wanted and she was going to give him that!
°°°°°°°°
Arnav paced back and forth in front of his car. He was at the venue and Khushi hadn't arrived yet. He was getting frustrated by the minute.
That very familiar tiny rational part of his brain reasoned 'You coming early to the venue, doesn't mean she's late. You had barked at her to be here by 6.30 sharp and it's only 6.15..'
But, he couldn't the shut that voice out as easily as before. He had confronted her, exposed her, that meant the voice should have stopped existing all together! But, instead it had gotten louder, clearer, persistantly ringing, telling him that he was frustrated at himself and not at her!
Along with his conscience, something else was also bothering him, something about Khushi, about her behaviour. It didn't sit right with him. She'd been looking so..so lost, so not herself... So much so it was beginning to scare him. He had deemed it all an act to her face, that she only portrayed herself pitiful. It'd stung him after he'd uttered those words, maybe because he truly didn't believe in them. Even that, hadn't elicited a response from her either.
'Or you finally managed to break her' the voice spoke up and a chill ran down his spine.
Her version of the events, it made sense to him. It fit ... infact a little too perfectly. How could it be so, if it wasn't all concocted?
'But, What if it wasn't?'
No! He couldn't think like that! Because, that would mean he was wrong and how could he be wrong? He had seen her, heard her. Yes, he had. He couldn't be doubting his senses, Could he? That meant what he'd thought about her was right? Why was he even questioning all this? Why was he beginning to distrust his judgement?
Arnav's hand flew up to massage his temple. Eversince, that fateful night on the terrace, his head and his heart had constantly been in battle and after yesterday it had only gotten naggingly pulsatile.
In his peripheral vision, he caught the glimpse of a Raizada car rolling in. He sighed in relief walking towards it.
The car parked on a clearing and out, Khushi got down and Arnav stopped dead on his tracks.
He could feel the world around him blurring, fading and she ensnaring the entirety of his focus. He was being held captive, by even her subtlest movement, the mere flicker of her eyes as she assessed the surrounding.
Swallowing hard, he cursed under his breath. How had he not thought this through? He'd asked one of his designers to send something over to his wife for the event. Of course, she had chosen one from the latest collection - The Forbidden Rose, that was inspired by Khushi and extensively developed with Khushi in mind. His staff didn't know that, but, it was their newest collection, so, it only made sense to choose from it.
The deep red fabric was dotted with an ombre of crystals along the edges to mimic dew on roses - just like the ones he grew in his carefully tended garden. The diamonds she wore were delicate vines entangling each other around tiny red garnets , ending in a teardrop, with matching drop earrings.
Ofcourse, he'd envisioned her in this attire when he'd overlooked the design. But, nothing, nothing could have prepared him for this. She was just simply breathtaking... simply ethereal...
The colour on her, perfectly illuminated her skin, drawing out the warm honey of her eyes,  softening her features. The fluid drape, clung to her in a way that it left little to his imagination. Her hair rested in gentle curls over her shoulder and he couldn't take his eyes off her even for a fleeting moment.
And, like she'd felt his gaze bearing her down, her eyes flew to meet his. The earth stilled beneath him, a silent, short gasp trapped in his throat and something heavy settled on his chest.
Her eyes carried a frailty, an unsurety, breaking a little something inside of him. She quickly averted her gaze and headed in his direction. All the turbulence in his mind, suddenly withdrew and only the aching reminder, he'd done this to her, remained.
°°°°°°°°
Honestly, seeing Arnav at the venue before her, she'd expected some berating her way, but, that hadn't happened. After she'd met him at the parking, he'd simply led her to the entrance. Then, all they had to do was their well rehearsed dance of an ideal couple.
Khushi's heart felt much lighter, now that the event had got over. She usually quite enjoyed social gatherings, but, this one had wrecked her nerves. This had been nothing unlike the ones the Raizadas usually organized. But, she could socialize in those events. Today, had been suffocating for her. Because, she could feel it, people walking around with the air of sophistication. Usually, she wouldn't be bothered by it, but, today it'd felt like she was way out of place in this crowd. Maybe, it was an uncomfortable reminder of how different his world was from hers and how delusional she'd been to think she would fit in.
But, she'd managed to handle it. She'd tried to channel Anjali Di and her sister and it had somewhat helped her.
All that was left to do was get to Shantivan, get out of the saree and jewellery and get it ready to be returned to AR. So, Khushi spent the car ride back, keeping count of every turn that led to the mansion.
Arnav felt more perturbed than before. She definitely wasn't herself. She'd been nervous and so unsure of herself throughout the evening, very unlike her. She'd spoken only when spoken to, kept her replies curt and smiles polite. That was all.
He should be okay with that, but he was not.. He couldn't convince himself that it was all an a act as well. Because, he could see it, her trying to hold herself together for the sake of the party.
Khushi usually would've made everyone fall in love with her, charmed them into conversation, blended in effortlessly in her own way.
At the least, would've gotten people to sign up as customers for her catering service.
Yeah right! she had decided to no longer run the catering service. A pang of hurt clenched in him, his thoughts ran haywire.
"I'm the daughter of a confectioner and the wife of a businessman"
The memory flashed before him. How adorably had she claimed the rights of being his wife, when she'd begun her catering venture. She was now letting it go.
"Half of the room is yours, half of it is mine"
How confindently had she gone about decorating his room with all her knick knacks, making it equally hers in the process. Now, it was all gone, the chimes, the stars, even the damned poster... She had decided to make their room, his again.
And it was killing him in the inside as she'd gone and done that.
It wasn't just about her business or the room. It was as if she was undoing everything they'd built upto this point - however flawed, however wrong, it had been rightfully theirs and she was detaching herself from it, from him.
So much so, she had decided to make his Khushi into this ghost of a person.
And, whose fault is that?
Arnav clutched the steering wheel hard. His inner voice was right... He was responsible for this, and this was his punishment... What hurt him more was, she was punishing herself as well...
He glanced at her, she was gazing out the window but watching nothing in particular.
The pain was getting unbearable.
No... He decided, bringing his attention back to the road. He shouldn't care this much. He couldn't...This was a liability, this was temporary.
Maybe, he was reading too much into this or maybe, this was how it was supposed to be for the remainder of the contract period. He'd have to get used to this.
°°°°°°°°
The agonizing silence from the car had followed them into the confines of his room as well.
Khushi, watched as he carried out his routine- the one she had memorized. The shoes near the TV unit, socks in the Laundry basket, then the tie would come off, followed by the waistcoat, then he'd reach for his closet. It was the same everyday, except today he seemed more over the edge than usual.
Khushi contemplated whether to ask the question lingering in her mind. Judging by his demeanor, it didn't seem ideal. But her mind reminded her, that it was always going to be this way. So, she braced herself and let the words frame a coherent question.
"Will your staff come to pick the saree and the set, tomorrow?"
Her voice cut through the room, claiming his attention. A tinge of annoyance bubbled inside Arnav, at the words. What the hell was she getting at? He'd just managed to put thoughts about her, past him and she comes up with something like that?
He couldn't care less about such triviality, Could he?
"Just keep it! I don't care what you do with it, Okay?!" He snapped, grabbing a towel and heading to the bathroom, slamming the door shut!
The day's vexation finally got to Khushi. She settled before the mirror, hurriedly but gently getting off the choker and earrings, placing it in the box that it came with, and kept it on the coffee table, where his office bag sat.
She perched on the edge of the dresser bench, trying to calm her restless heart. Her hand pulled out the bobby pins that held her hair and tied it into a bun.
She stared at her reflection. How could he ask her to keep it? Like she was after his stuff or something?!
A whimper broke out of her lips and hot, angry tears clouded her vision. He closed her eyes letting them spill, taking in deep breaths trying to will away her agitation.
She didn't realise how long she sat like that, before she heard the click of the bathroom door. She needed to get up and get going about the day. But, moving her legs had become a task in itself.
Through the corner of his eye, Arnav noticed Khushi standing up from the dressing table, wearily moving across the the room and the familiar twinge of hurt consumed him. 
He sighed. He needed a distraction, he concluded. He couldn't let this keep affecting him. He needed to work himself to exhaustion, he thought, settling himself on the recliner. That was when the jewel box caught his eye. The one with his company's label.
Something ticked off in him. "Khushi, wait!" he said in a low voice.
Clutching the box, he walked to her "What are you trying to do?" He asked, holding it out to her. His voice had a steady calmness to it.
Khushi tried to be as unfazed as possible, before she spoke "I'm not doing anything... Arnav Ji " she uttered, trying to side step him. She wasn't ready to do this now.
"I asked you to keep this." he stated, blocking her.
"I don't want it."she answered numbly, her eyes fixed to the floor.
How he hated when she spoke without meeting his eyes.
"Khushi..." He took in a deep breath. Something about her was keeping his temper in line. "Look at me, listen to me...please..."
She took a moment, as if deciding something, but then her eyes found his and she didn't miss the hint of softness in them.
"It's no big deal, it's just a necklace." He emphasized.
Khushi shook her head, denying. It wasn't just a necklace, and her defiance definitely wasn't about just a necklace.
"It's because of what I said the other day, isn't it? That you get to reap the perks of being a Raizada! " He questioned, his tone still steady
"No..." She replied, her gaze shifting back to the floor
"Then, what is it? What are you trying to prove?" He could feel his patience beginning to slip away.
That question stirred something inside Khushi. Her eyes shot to meet his... "Haven't I already told you, I have nothing to prove?" she asked, her voice heavy.
She could see his face tense up, his jaw clench.
But, he held his stead. "Oh really? Is that why you waited the whole day in my office yesterday?" He scoffed.
"Yes, I waited! I was stupid enough to think you'll actually listen to me..." She retorted, sounding shaky.
"I don't need to listen to you... I know what I saw, what I heard...."
Khushi cut him off, all the bottled up inside her, seeking an escape. "No! You don't know!" she cried.
"Stop it, Khushi!" Arnav was seething inside, but held on to very last bit of his restraint.
"Whatever you plan on doing to convince me otherwise, it's not going to work. So, I'm telling this one last time, wrap up all this drama." he concluded, gesturing between her and the jewel box.
He turned away, placing the box on the night stand, all prepared to leave the place, when he heard Khushi calling after...
"Yes! Walk away, like you always do! That's what you do best!"
She had had enough. She no longer cared that she hit a nerve. He'd been the one insistent on pushing her to speak and the minute she gave into it, he turned the other way.
That was it for Arnav. That was his final straw.
He crossed the length of the room in two long strides.
"What was that supposed to mean?" hissed Arnav, backing her in a corner, holding her by her arms. The impact, unknotting her hair from its twist.
Khushi's gaze matched the fierceness in his own. "You know exactly what I mean.... You run from reality, because it scares you!... Why else would you be okay with choosing to believe a twisted opinion of me over... " Khushi's breathing was harsh and sharp but she continued, " over the truth?" A sudden wave of fatigue washed over her, her body shivered and tears didn't seem to stop.
Arnav stood rooted to the spot, his face blanching, his fingers sliding down the length of her arms and back to his side. She'd read and recited him like a book and he couldn't deny she was right.
He took one look at her and realised how fragile she was, barely holding herself together. The truth that she spoke of, was not about the wretched brother-in-law, or the terrace and it struck him, it never was, never had been about that.
Khushi's silent sobs slowed and her breathing gradually deepened. Catching a glimpse of him still weighing what she'd blurted, her heart betrayed her once more, a tiny hope blooming in her.
When he finally shook off his daze, his eyes meeting hers, "No...."  breathed Arnav, his vain attempt at holding his stand, at his disbelief on her. But, it came out a lot like a plea.
Accepting her truth meant, his actions towards her were unforgivable.
He searched into the depths of her eyes, to find some form of pretense, something at all.
And, like she could perceive his doubts, Khushi spoke again, with whatever little that was left of her "Why couldn't you see it... The truth was right here...I...." She whimpered "I..I have always been here...."
"Always?" he mouthed.
"Hamesha...."
The instant that word slipped out her mouth, he knew to his bone what she was conveying, what her words implied. That for her, It had always been him and only him. Nothing else mattered to him, every doubt, every uncertainty, every baseless accusation, vanished into thin air.
He took a step towards her. And for once, she didn't take a step back. Instead, she was looking up at him, beholding him in her gaze, her breath hitching, her lips quivering ever so slightly.
And, before he knew it, his hands found the side of her face, his lips were on hers
°°°°°°°°
Khushi gasped at the contact. It was supple, tentative, merely a tug sending jolts of sparks through her. But, soon her lips melted into his.
Arnav took the cue to deepen the kiss, eliciting a soft sound from her, sending his senses over drive. She felt her knees give away, her body mould into his, either for support or craving more proximity. Her muddled brain couldn't tell.
His hands slid to her waist, steadying her. The flimsy drape of her saree, giving way for his fingers to slip beneath, his fingertips lingering on her skin in a delicate pressure. While, Khushi's fingers skimmed over his neck and tangled in his hair.
Reminding himself to not get carried away. He gently pulled away, resting his forehead on hers. Her breathing was still uneven, her chest rising and falling , colour blossoming in her cheeks, her clothing barely holding up.
His hand flew up, brushing away the wisps of hair off her face, tucking it behind her ear, before pressing a soft kiss to her temple. The faint scent of her hair, a mix of citrus and something subtly floral - jasmine, enveloped him, a familiar comfort after the storm that'd weathered.
She looked at him through fluttering lashes, her warm hazel orbs, glinting in anticipation and Arnav's world shifted on it's axis. A surge of affection flooded through him. This was the woman who'd seen through his icy walls, who'd seen his darkest, yet, held on to him, anchored him back to her, even when he'd given her no reason to. She was his Khushi. Irrevocably his.
Khushi reached out him, her hand trembling a little, as it settled against his chest, his heart thundering under her fingers. This was beyond surreal for her, like her mind was playing a trick, like if she moved or blinked, the moment would dissolve, he would disappear - again....
"Khushi..." he exhaled, the sound a low rumble against her ear as he pulled her closer, his arms tightening around her waist, as if he'd sensed her thoughts, tethering her.
This was real... He wasn't going anywhere.
He tilted her head back, a soft moan escaping her throat, and she arched into him as his lips found the curve of her neck, lazily tracing every inch of it, sending shivers down her spine, dizzying her.
He could feel the desperate cling of her fingers, beckoning him to face her. Standing on her tip toes, she pulled him into a peck - slow, hesitant, her movements precise, testing, learning.
Arnav leaned into her, indulging in her taste, drinking in her sighs, her intoxicating scent, pushing her threshold, merely parting owing to their lungs.
The whisper of desire, lulled between them. How could they ever get enough of each other, the pull growing undeniably intense. The air around them, crackling with their unspoken yearning.
"There's no going back..." His voice hoarse, words heavy, a statement of both warning and unwavering resolve.
"I know..." she said, her voice a soft murmur against his shoulder, her arm wrapping around him, pulling him further into her embrace.
"Are you sure?" He asked, his voice raw with vulnerability, completely overwhelmed by her blatant trust in him.
"Yes," she nodded, her breath warm against his skin, her palm resting against his jaw, feathering kisses on his cheek. Each light touch, sent an aching heat rushing through his veins..
The last of his self-control snapped, and this time their lips met with an urgency, a new fervor.
Khushi barely registered being lifted off her feet, her back hitting the mattress.
Every thought remained suspended in her head and all she remembered, was the subtle burn of his  stubble against her skin, the tenderness of his kisses trailing down her body, the ripple of his muscles under her fingertips, the hum of electricity, coursing through her very being.
And, Arnav cherished her, etching her to memory, completely baring himself to her. Every touch, every caress, every kiss a silent promise of no longer running, no longer hiding, but staying, holding on and making it up to her for the rest of his life.
He'd found his way back to her and he was never letting her go.
______________________
Was randomly looking up gemstones one day, and learned that Garnets are apparently symbol of passion, loyalty and longevity. It's safe to say, that inspired this one shot.
Hope you like it!
Lots of love,
Titaliya
Tagging: @arshifiesta @featheredclover @hand-picked-star @hand-written-dreams @jalebi-weds-bluetooth @pyaargulzar
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pyaargulzar · 3 months ago
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Fanaa
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04
Read from the beginning
03........05
The afternoon was peaceful in the Gupta house. Buaji was in the midst of a siesta. The curtains in the living room lifted ever so slightly with the breeze, as the oranges on the dining table gleamed under a ray of sunlight. While the cooler in her room whirred, Khushi sat in front of her computer, eyes  hooked on the monitor.
All tabs had one man’s face plastered over them. Buaji was right. Arnav was fiercely protective of his privacy.
But the internet never forgets, so here it was. Paparazzi pictures of Mr Raizada leaving Lavanya Kashyap’s condominium in Bombay. He was dressed in a suit, like always. But just like at the gallery, his tie lay loose around his neck and he seemed to have let go of his jacket.
She checked the date. 2015. He was 26. 
Hassle free to last long enough 
His calm words seemed to belie the picture. What if it was a passionate affair? And he was simply trying to dim it down to get this marriage done as soon as possible?
The problem with old flames was that it flickered up again when you least expect it.
Going deeper down into the rabbit hole, Khushi clicked a few more links. 
Diego Mascarenhas
The man who is spotted with Lavanya lately. They were picturesque together- the Portuguese swimmer and the Indian model. Both heirs to business empires with a couple of articles on their rumoured engagement.
She grabbed her phone in a blink. 
“Hello? Di, text me Mr Raizada’s number, will you?”
———
The clock struck two, and Khushi stared at the number Payal had given her an hour ago. She shouldn’t hesitate. But she did. Of course, she knew he was an enigma. But to actually prod and get beyond the surface of this man, was not something she was ready for!
Gathering her courage, she stopped hovering her finger around the cell and pressed on it. There! She had done it!
“AR media, who’s speaking?”
Khushi faltered, as probably his secretary answered unexpectedly.
“Um..hello…my name is Khushi Gupta. I wanted to speak to Mr Arnav Raizada.”
“May I know what this is about ?” 
“It’s…personal “
Personal? Was she personal now? But what else could she have said?
“Please give me a minute, Miss Gupta “
She waited for two whole minutes, before biting her nails. The waiting was not helping her already frail nerves.
“Miss Gupta? Please wait while I transfer the line to Mr Raizada’s office”
God! The president wouldn’t make somebody wait this long-
“Khushi, what a surprise.”
His cool voice flooded her ears, like the gush of cool air on a hot summer day.
“Mr Raizada”, she greeted and then winced. She really didn’t know what to say.
“Yes, Miss Gupta?” His voice barely hid the amusement , she knew he was basking in.
“Why do you want to marry now?”
“Excuse me?”
“Is it because of the Kashyap- Mascarenhas news?”
There. The cat had pounced out of the bag.
“What? Kashyap? Are you still on about Lavanya?”
The absolute incredulity in his tone made Khushi frown. Of course she was still on about Lavanya! She was the only woman he had introduced to his family- and this “hassle free” nonsense wasn’t going to work with her.
“Khushi”, he broke off, “Lavanya and I split amicably. It is nothing which will affect our life together.”
“How would I know that?”, she mumbled.
With an audible sigh, he continued, “Meet me for dinner tonight? Orion at seven?”
—————
Dressed in a simple butter yellow dress, Khushi hopped into the esteem. Buaji had been more than happy to send her off to dinner.
As she drove onto the busy roads of Lucknow, she couldn’t help but peep into her own heart. The call with her sister earlier that evening replaying in her mind.
“So, did you call Arnavji?”
“Arnavji? Is that what you are expected to call him, Di? And yes, I called him”
“He is older than me , as well as Akash. Not all of us have the luxury of calling him Mr Raizada and not being called out on the formality! By the way, why did you call him? To say yes?”
“No, di! I wanted to ask about Lavanya”
“Lavanya? Lavanya Kashyap? You mean the supermodel?!”
“Yes di. The one and only. She is getting married apparently. I thought he was trying to get married only to one up her…”
Payal’s laughter had interrupted her then. Her sister had called her silly. According to the Maliks, Arnav had broken up with Lavanya because she had demanded marriage! There was no jealousy or spite in the picture. They wanted different things in life, and had gone their separate ways.
But why then, she thought, had he twisted back into the same path Miss Kashyap had wanted? If he didn’t want marriage then, why had he changed his outlook now?
As she entered through the ornate gates guarding Orion, she knew that even through all of this thoughts and doubts there was one persisting truth she kept at bay.
That she was undeniably attracted to Mr Raizada.
 She couldn’t say yes, because well it would seem like an act of her raging hormones. But she really couldn’t say no! She felt she was twirling him around. Making him justify a relationship that ended five years ago. Was she just stalling him?
A knock on her glass window made her jump.
“I think we need to be seated inside to order Miss Gupta “, his muffled voice reached her.
Switching off the ignition, she stepped out. Smiling sheepishly, she handed over her keys to the valet.
“Come”
And there it was again. His hovering hands. She could admit it now. It made her ache for his touch.
———
“….Lavanya and I parted ways because we wanted different things in life. At that point it was marriage. I didn’t see that life with her-“
“But you do with me? How does that make any sense?”, she questioned, exasperated.
His eyes glimmered with something. Something her inexperience failed to identify.
“Somethings in life may not make sense Miss Gupta. They hardly make sense to me”, he let out a throaty chuckle.
“Khushi”, he leaned forward, as if to hold her hands in his, “I don’t mean to beat around the bush. I am not a very verbal man. I can’t spin good words, which will convince you to marry me. But I can give you my word, that I will do my best to fulfill my duty as a husband. In every which way”
Her breath caught in her throat, as she held his eyes. She could end the agony for both of them. He was not like anyone else she had met. She really hated herself for being so predictable.
“I was born out of wedlock. Doesn’t your family mind that?”
He laughed. The man laughed at her!
“Miss Gupta, I think we left that in the the twentieth century, don’t you think?”
His lips curved into a persistent smile.
Blushing, more at his carefree demeanour than anything, Khushi found herself shy all of a sudden. Clearing her throat, she decided to turn the tables on Mr Raizada.
“Well, dadiji told me you were driving her up the wall to get my answer…”, she trailed away, watching for any signs of squirming.
And there it was! In that subtle clench of his jaw lasting only a second.
“What can I say Miss Gupta….”, he looked away before meeting her eyes again.
In an exaggerated whisper, he spoke “You drove me mad with your indecision”
It was her turn to look away. The little game they played tugged at her heart, more than she liked to admit to herself.
“And it’s nani for you from now on Khushi, not dadi”
She stilled, her heart racing a mile a minute.
“You think I have said yes?”
“Should I take that you have said no?”, arrogance oozed into him once again.
She gaped at him.
“Should you?!”
“Well as you love to remind me Miss Gupta, I am not getting any younger. I think it would be futile for me to pretend I want you to take your time, when I know I will spend every damn moment of my life convincing you beyond measure to be my wife”
Khushi swallowed thickly. And to think, he didn’t have a way with words.
“Well…”
“Well?”, he asked, his eyes shuttered.
“Yes, let’s…marry”
———
Next>>>
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pyaargulzar · 3 months ago
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Hello! Wanted to thank you for writing Guidance coz honestly, one of my fave gentle dom/sub fics ever!!
You know, I'm no writer, but i desperately wanted an Arshi dom/sub fic ever since that episode when Arnav is teasing Khushi about their suhagrat. It started from that one scene where the flowers are falling all over them and he holds Khushi's hand behind her back; i noticed how even after he left, she still held her hands behind her back and stayed *in position*. Made me think how good she'd be for him <3
So yeah, thanks for sharing the fic, I hope you find strength and peace; and if you plan on it, can't wait for more updates <3
THANK YOU! this made me so happy 🥺. so glad you found guidance to be a good read AHHHH!!
i'm SCREAMING you're so right, had to go back and re-watch this bit, she stays in the same position 😭🤪.
i've accidentally been on hiatus it seems due to life, but will come back to guidance at some point~
thank you again, i appreciate hearing feedback, good and bad sm <3
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pyaargulzar · 4 months ago
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Hello,
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pyaargulzar · 4 months ago
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i'm not screaming, you are
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Barun Sobti : Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon (July 30, 2011)
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pyaargulzar · 4 months ago
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ME me me rn (sorry)
WHO ARE WE? WRITERS!
WHAT DO WE DO? WRITE!
WHEN DO WE DO IT?
And there was a silence...
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pyaargulzar · 4 months ago
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✦ SCATTER
I hurt you—because that is most familiar.
I only know how to ruin.
I wrecked you— and you came back whole.
Wrapped in love, your ruins lie before me.
Begging me to break you again, so I obeyed.
But how could you be so unbreakably frail?
And every time I wonder—do you deserve this?
Then I remember—I don’t deserve you.
I break you to gather what spills.
Love dressed in blood, care laced in tears.
I tear you apart just to prove I care.
I hurt you—don't you see that I care?
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pyaargulzar · 4 months ago
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i hate when you google a word and some fucking company comes up instead. Do you think you are more important than the english dictionary you piece of shit corporation
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pyaargulzar · 4 months ago
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The Case of Ordered Disruption
Arnav Swami was a man of discipline.
A man of order.
A man who firmly believed that leisure was an overrated concept - one peddled by those who failed to appreciate the sanctity of perfectly symmetrical restaurant table arrangements.
He did not engage in frivolities like sports, dance, or (he shuddered) antakshari on road trips. Not because his stamina, agility, or voice was questionable (he would duel anyone who dared suggest such blasphemy), but because he simply had better things to do.
Like ensuring his aloo paratha-to-butter ratio was mathematically flawless.
That is… until she happened.
One fateful afternoon, Khushiji stormed into his dhaba like an action hero, except instead of sunglasses and a slow-motion entry, she was clutching a prehistoric transistor radio in one hand, its six-foot antenna extended so far it nearly took down his newly serviced ceiling fan.
“Swami Ji, LISTEN to this!” she declared, swinging it dangerously close to Bankelal Ji’s head.
Arnav, who had been peacefully ensuring his jalebis were soaking at the optimal syrup saturation level, sighed. “Khushiji, if this is another episode of Shrimaan Shrimati..”
“It’s cricket!” she announced, eyes sparkling with the kind of enthusiasm when she spotted a huge discount on Lifebouy soaps for her guest rooms. “They’re building a new team for the  Ganga Warriors League! And guess what?” 
“You, my dear Swami Ji, are going to the trial.”
Arnav froze. His soul momentarily left his body. 
Cricket? Him? That was about as likely as a dosa rolling itself into a perfect cylinder on the first try.
“Khushiji…” He carefully removed his reading glasses (which, to be clear, had no number but were purely for intimidation purposes).
(Also author’s nod to @Hand-picked-star’s Crimson Shade, Chapter 35.)
 “There are two things I do not do. One: I do not eat at competitor’s dhabas. And two: I do not play sports.”
Khushi gasped, clutching her transistor like it had just been personally insulted. "Swami Ji, that’s exactly what all legends say before they become legends. Haven’t you seen Lagaan?"
Arnav rolled his eyes. "Wasn't that about taxes and colonial oppression?"
Khushi waved him off. "Details. The point is��you have potential."
Arnav folded his arms. "The only thing I have is common sense, which is why I’m going to say this very slowly. I. Do. Not. Play. Cricket."
Khushi’s eyes narrowed.
A slow, mischievous smile curled on her lips.
Dangerous.
"Oh?" she mused, tapping her chin. "I see… So, you're scared."
Arnav’s jaw twitched. "Excuse me?"
"I mean, it makes sense," she continued airily, inspecting her nails. "You’ve built this whole ‘intimidating dhaba owner’ persona, but deep down, maybe you're just…" She trailed off dramatically. "A little… uncoordinated?"
Arnav bristled. "Khushiji, I…"
Khushi, completely unfazed, grabbed his hand and started dragging him out. “Enough said. You’re going.”
“Khushiji, NO”
“Bankelal Ji, secure the pedas! He’s trying to run!”
“ON IT, KUSHIJI!”
And just like that, the most feared dhaba owner in Haridwar found himself hauled to a cricket trial, against his will, like a child being taken for his first polio shot.
The cricket ground was a dusty expanse of regret.
A very short man with an unnervingly squeaky voice stood in the center, wielding a clipboard like it contained state secrets.
“Alright, boys! Step up, step up! My name is…”
He said his name, but it came out so fast and high-pitched that it sounded suspiciously like Squeachin Teller.
Arnav squinted. “What?”
“SQUEACHIN TE—OH NEVER MIND! JUST BAT!”
Khushi elbowed Arnav forward. “Go on, Swami Ji! Show them your hidden talent!”
Arnav had hidden talents. Avoiding human interaction was one of them. Cricket was not.
Nevertheless, he took his stance at the crease. He could do this. He just had to imagine that every ball flying toward him was a Bengali rasogulla.
Except…
He could not do this.
One ball hit his pad, another flew past his ear, and one particularly aggressive one nearly knocked off his reading glasses. 
He really tried but then he swung with the grace of a malfunctioning table fan, missing each one so spectacularly that even the neighborhood halwai selling stale pakoras outside the stadium winced.
The bowler, a lanky fellow with a face that screamed mohalle ka gunda, but very round glasses, was enjoying this way too much.
“Arre bhai, are you trying to play cricket or swat mosquitoes?” he snickered.
Khushi had had enough.
She stepped forward, snatched the bat from Arnav’s hands, and pointed it at Squeachin like a warrior queen ready for Mahabharat 2.0.
“You. Squeaky voice. Get in there.”
Squeachin hesitated. “But…I…”
“Now”
The short man gulped, grabbed the bat from Khushiji and strutted up to face the bowler, clearly confident in his ability to show these amateurs how it was done.
Big mistake.
With the fury of someone personally offended, Khushiji grabbed the ball from the lanky fella, took her position, and hurled it straight at him.
Clean bowled.
The stumps flew. 
The bat dropped. 
Squeachin let out a noise somewhere between a meep and a yelp.
Silence.
Then, from the sidelines, Bankelal Ji erupted in laughter. “Kya baat hai, Khushiji! Arnav bhaiya, maybe YOU should be holding her transistor while SHE plays instead!”
Arnav scowled.
Khushi turned to him, tossing the ball up and catching it effortlessly, looking entirely too smug.
"Swami Ji," she said sweetly, stepping closer, "sometimes, it’s not about catching the rasogulla…"
She let the ball drop, watching it bounce near his feet.
"It’s about making sure no one else even smells it."
For a moment, Arnav Swami forgot how to breathe.
The sun shone behind her, a slight breeze catching the end of her dupatta, and for one horrifying second, he was tempted to close the distance.
Instead, he muttered, dangerously low, "Khushiji, one day, you will regret this."
Khushi grinned. "Looking forward to it, Swami Ji."
And with that, she picked and tossed the ball back to him and sauntered off, her transistor blaring the latest S.P. Balasubramaniam hit in the background, leaving Arnav standing in the middle of the pitch, contemplating a few things:
One, that cricket may actually be the most humiliating sport ever invented.
And two… that if Khushi ever joined the Indian Cricket Team, the rest of the world would just have to deal with it.
And three… that maybe, just maybe…he’d be there, transistor in hand, shouting her name in the stands. Not that he cared. He just didn’t trust Bankelal Ji to keep score properly.
Also on blog here and Wattpad here
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pyaargulzar · 4 months ago
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Hello, wonderful souls! 🤍🌍
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pyaargulzar · 4 months ago
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Fanaa
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03
Read from the beginning
02------
Her manicured nails scraped the top of the fifty year old table. A nervous habit which always drove buaji up the wall. But today, her aunt was too engrossed in the phone call to pay her any attention.
“Yes yes Manorama, Khushi is interested. Of course!…But she wants to meet him some more….What can I even say to these young ones! I barely glanced at her fufaji before tying the knot and here they are…oh really? That’s a wonderful idea!”
The click of the telephone was enough to make her sit up straight. One of the few things buaji never gave up. A landline connection persisting from the nineties.
Goodness! Here she comes.
“Khushi! I am so glad you like him-“
“I never said that!”
“Well at least you haven’t refused. Anyway, the Maliks are gearing up for the launch of Naina’s art gallery. All upcoming artists of Lucknow will be there. It’s your kind of place. And Arnav will be there too!”
Khushi groaned. Akash’s younger sister was a well meaning socialite. She was hardly an art connoisseur, but more of a philanthropist. Buaji was right ,this was her scene. But as a certain someone said “the elephant in the room” would be too magnetic for her to ignore.
“Stop frowning! You were quite impressed with him just a few days ago. You always complained of the boys in your class behaving like boys and now? Can’t you see, how perfect he would be for you? Granted he is a bit older. But it’s not really a flaw-“
“Buaji! He seems too good to be true, and from what I know-“
“Offo! You really surprise me! He is a man who wears his flaws on his sleeve.”
Khushi rolled her eyes, “You only know what Manorama aunty tells you!”
“I researched on my own. I finally used that computer you gifted me. He is such a private celebrity! He is cold and aloof. The only pictures of him on the internet were from events of the Malik family. He is a family man, beta”
Khushi grumbled, “What about girlfriends?”
Buaji smirked smugly, “Girlfriends? You wish to know about that?”
“Well, it is natural to be curious about a man you are forcing upon me”
“Forcing? More like nudging, bitiya. And yes, he has had girlfriends. Manorama told me. But I think only one woman has met the family. What was her name again…”, Buaji paused.
“Lavanya! That’s right. Lavanya Kashyap”
Khushi looked up with a frown.
“The model turned ceo?”
“Hardly. More like the model who inherited her father’s company” , buaji shrugged.
She knew what her aunt was doing. Maybe Lavanya was nothing but a nepo baby. But who could deny her stunning looks? Khushi ,after all, had covered her when she had done an assignment on ageism in the fashion industry. Miss Kashyap found herself off the runaway as soon as she cut the cake for  her 32nd birthday, and since the past few years was managing Kashyap industries.
Why would Arnav not end up with someone like her? Was he the problem? Some red flag she was missing?
“ Will you stop scraping the table? And decide on a dress to wear to the gallery opening!”
———
The gallery was beautiful. And elegant, just like everything the Maliks did. It was a charcoal grey, emphasised by straight and clean lines, ensuring that the attention rests on the art adorned walls. 
‘Kala’ was written in Devnagiri script at the entrance, creating an ambience in itself. Naina Malik was certainly the star of the show in her rose pink wrap dress.
Dressed in a white anarkali, Khushi encircled her sister’s arm as they walked from wall to wall.
“It’s fun”, Payal laughed.
“What is?” 
“How Buaji pretends that such events interest her for my sake”
Khushi giggled, “She is probably stumped at the amount people are willing to pay for a single piece!”
“Well, yes. She will probably scrunch her nose at some of them! But anyway, that’s not the agenda today”
Khushi rested her head on Payal’s shoulder for a moment. The green organza sari looked perfect on her sister, making her seem like one of the Maliks. 
“I am not sure Di”
“The fact that you haven’t said no yet, tells me you are quite taken by him”
Throwing her hands up in the air, Khushi whispered,” Well, he is sexy!”
The Gupta sisters giggled, earning one or two snide looks. 
“Yes, he is your type. Honestly I was taken aback when someone so reserved called Ma several times over the week to get the proposal through to you. But I realised that he is just a go-getter. Probably, saw you at the wedding and liked you!”
“What does he want from me! Why is he so desperate to get married?”
Payal coughed, “Desperate is not the word Khushi. Hardly anything the man does can be described as desperate. He was just persistent. He wanted you to know of the proposal. And after your dinner, he has called only once”
She didn’t know what to tell her sister. She was aware of her attraction to him but she was also aware that he will always be several stations above her in life- whether it be wealth, age or power. 
However, the thought of saying no? It creeped her out and erupted goosebumps on her skin. It suspiciously seemed like anxiety.
And the thought of saying yes? It sent a chill down her spine.
Khushi Kumari Gupta much like her middle name was a virgin. In college, she had dismissed the idea of dating ,thinking she would have plenty of time later. But now faced with sharing everything with this enigma of a man, she wished she had at least experienced a few make out sessions. After all, the man had been with the ‘Lavanya Kashyap’. That woman screamed sex appeal, she thought glumly.
“Khushi, where are you lost? Let’s go meet Naina”
———
It had drawn her in, the first time her eyes fell on it. Painted on canvas, it was a beautiful piece in red. The entire canvas was  draped in red, but there were strokes of black across it. 
When she had pointed excitedly to Buaji, she had been dismissed with a brief,” This modern art-shart is not my cup of tea bitiya”, even as Payal grinned fondly at their aunt.
And now with the toast done and dusted, Khushi slipped back to the corner where her favourite piece of the night rested. She was puzzled. Her usual favourites were landscapes or art capturing human emotions. But this piece? She liked it. Plain and simple.
“Black and red ? I didn’t take you to be a fan ,Miss Gupta?” 
Khushi stilled as that damned voice broke her moment of solitude. Turning around, she was greeted with a sight for sore eyes.
There he stood, hands in his pocket. His jacket rested on his arm, flexing against his movements. 
How can this man look so good even when he looks tired?, she wondered.
“Are you Miss Gupta?”
“Sorry?” His words brought her back from her grudging admiration.
 
“You are a fan of modern art?”, he flashed her a brief smile this time.
“Well, not really. This one’s nice though”, Khushi shrugged. She really didn’t know how to respond to this attempt at small talk.
“Maybe you should tell Naina to put a hold on its sale. Buy it after you start working on Rhapsody.”
He said it so smoothly, she had to take a double take before gasping in shock.
“I haven’t said yes yet!”
“You haven’t said no yet”, his nonchalant tone prickled her more than she liked.
“Well, that’s my choice to make Mr Raizada.”
“I fail to understand why you are taking so long after everything I cleared up during dinner-“
She scoffed and looked away.
“Excuse me?”, he raised an eyebrow.
“I don’t know why I had to rely on some well wisher telling me about Miss Kashyap”, she declared, arms folded across herself.
She gulped as his demeanour remained intact. Not one crack in his armour.
“There was nothing significant to tell. She was one of the many. The only difference being that our relationship was hassle free to last long enough for my sister to take notice.”
His sister. Anjali Raizada, the renowned lawyer working for women’s rights in the judiciary. Who hadn’t heard her name in the country? It seemed strange to her that the celebrities she had idolised through college, such as Lavanya and Anjali just a few years ago were now names she could casually refer to!
--------
“Now that’s cleared up, should we settle on a date? I would prefer a November wedding”
“Hold your horses, Arnav!-“
Khushi instantly knew she had messed up when his face lit up with a grin, “Yes, Khushi?”
“I-I didn’t mean to-“
“You didn’t?” That unholy smirk refused to fade away.
The devil seized her in the next moment, as she gained control again,
“Yes, I didn’t mean to disrespect you. After all, you are so much older”
Below the belt Khushi, her inner voice whispered.
To her surprise, he bit his lower lip in such a charming way, her heart skipped a beat.
“I guess, my age is the one thing holding you back”
Before she could reply he stepped forward, invading her personal space as he bent to reach her ear.
“Trust me, you will soon find that aspect of our relationship to be at your advantage”, he whispered.
——-
Khushi clung to her sister, after escaping the daze he had captured her in. She could feel Buaji’s eyes on her. After all, she had no doubt that the older women had orchestrated this meeting .
She couldn’t wait for the evening to be over. But Akash had grabbed a bottle of Pinot Noir, and was now toasting towards Naina’s efforts.
Clapping along with the crowd, Khushi let out a tense breath she didn’t realise she was holding.
“Bitiya”
Khushi jumped as she felt a warm hand rest on her shoulder. Turning around, she saw Devyani Malik , the matriarch of the Malik family.
She smiled, folding her hands into a polite namaste.
“I am sorry beta, I startled you”
“Oh please Dadiji. I am easily startled”, she replied shyly.
She smiled genially, “Very different from your sister I must say! Payal startles me with her composure. Anyway, beta tell me what are your intentions?”
“Intentions?”Khushi frowned.
“With my grandson”, Devyani chuckled.
“He is driving me and Manorama up the wall ,waiting for your reply. I was afraid that he was going to drive down to meet you himself. He didn’t let us rest. Finally, Manorama reminded him of Naina’s gallery opening. Otherwise god knows what he would have done…”
While Devyani fondly told Khushi about her grandson’s impatience regarding her answer, she stood frozen. 
Who is the man who had been the epitome of gentlemanly behaviour that night? The man who could disarm her with his smile? 
And yet, what they were telling her about his need for this marriage confused her. She was caught in the eye of the storm, and hadn’t even realised it.
-----
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pyaargulzar · 4 months ago
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September Rain
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Chapter Eight
Also on Wattpad
Read from the beginning
Chapter Seven> <Chapter Nine
She was like a dream. She was like September rains. She was his.
He had known when he saw her that fateful day, clutching her red skirt, her deer-like eyes skirting around nervously. He had felt the disappointment weigh heavily in his chest as he found they were not in the same house. He remembered buying the soda bottles and running across the grounds lest she waited too long for him on the stairs.
His innocent affection had deepened over the years. Sitting in his favourite spot on the red house terrace, his eyes always found the green rooftop, a splinter of longing burning within him. 
He had been thirteen when his tonsils were removed. Surgery was a scary thought, and the doctor had told him to take a deep breath and think of “happy thoughts”.
And when his mind had turned to thoughts of her, he knew.
Raizadas and Guptas had become friends, after a few clever manoeuvres by Akash and Payal. A few parties and dozens of dinners later, they were spending the summer together.
——
“Guess what papa got me!” Khushi brandished a shiny, jet black camera at him.
“Nice!” He smiled,sitting up straight, afraid of tilting the hammock over.
“No, no ,no! Just lay there!” 
She clicked the button, her hair fluttering against the wind. He smiled awkwardly, as she clicked several more. 
“You look pretty Arnav!” She teased with a smile.
——
That summer, Khushi had created an album. An album of just their photos. He had bit his lip, hiding his joy at finding the album packed with more than half with just his photos. 
But things were changing. He could sense it. He couldn’t help but feel the electricity hum beneath his skin, when his shoulder brushed hers, when he held her hand, feeling skin against skin. Seeing her dance was like watching an angel trapeze. 
——
“Can’t believe it’s raining!”
He hid his smirk behind the book he was trying to read.
“Arnav, you are boring me now”
“We can’t go out Khushi “
“I know that! But can we have fun?”
“Fun?” He set his book aside with a sigh.
She walked up to his speakers. After a few minutes, soft music filled his room.
She smiled, “It’s ‘These dreams’ by Heart” 
She moved gently, mouthing the words.
“And the full moon that hangs over, these dreams in the mist” she sang as she extended a hand towards him, tilting her head.
He slipped his hand into hers, as she pulled him off the bed.
Her arms entwined around his neck, and his hand found them on her waist.
He breathed out, as they swayed to the music. The lyrics were far from clear to Arnav by this point. His senses were on an overdrive, as he felt enveloped by her warmth, by her floral smell, by  the heart beating against his own.
——
He was in love with Khushi Gupta. 
He felt no jolt, no shock. He felt like he had been in love forever.
He looked at her across the table, as she took bites out of her cotton candy.
They had been on five rides so far. Dhruv had taken the seat beside her on two, Lavanya had insisted on him being with her on two, and one had single seats only.
A frustrated frown revealed his feelings, as he watched her laughing at something Mona whispered into her ear.
This just won’t do.
“Anyone want ice cream?” Aman stood up.
“You stay here, I’ll go get it” , he said, leaving the table without waiting for Aman’s reply.
——
“Hi”
Arnav startled as he heard the whisper behind him.
“Lavanya, what are you doing here?” He turned towards her.
“I couldn’t let you stand in line alone, could I ?” She smiled and tilted her head.
Annoyance creeped up on him, like a wave.
“We talked about this, Lavanya. You can’t make friends by sticking to me. You need to talk to others.”
Her eyes widened in shock. Probably at the harsh tone he had used.
“I don’t want that, Arnav. No one gets me like you do”
“Well I want to be with others! You can’t get through school like this, Lavanya. And I know that my friends have been doing everything to make you feel comfortable”
“Come on Arnav! They are your friends, not mine. We have fun together, just us two! I don’t want anything more” 
He ran a hand through his hair roughly.
“I wanted you to be well settled in because the teachers asked me to. But you have been looking at it all wrong. I like you Lavanya and I want to be your friend , but I cannot be with you all the time!”
“Whatever! You can leave if you want,” she rolled her eyes.
Arnav walked off, his brisk steps taking him away, leaving a scorned girl behind.
--------------
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pyaargulzar · 4 months ago
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September Rain
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Chapter Six
Also on Wattpad
Read from the beginning
Chapter Five> <Chapter Seven
“Topsy World it is” NK said, swinging his legs in the air.
Khushi walked over to the bunch sitting across the rocky ledge.
“Isn’t there also a water park somewhere inside that park?”
“Yes! Aqua Land! So don’t forget to pack your swimsuits” 
Mona raised an eyebrow,” How excited are you for this picnic ,NK?”
He grinned,”The second last one day trip before we get to go on weekend long trips? Hell yeah! I am excited “
Khushi giggled, “I have heard good things about the place”
“Aman is upset class 9 is going to a different place”
“I am not!”
Khushi climbed up, sliding beside Aman.
“It’s okay to be upset a little Aman”
He smiled, “I guess,K”
“So after lunch is the water park?” Preetika noted in her tiny book.
“What are you doing Preeto? Scheduling the picnic?” Mona scoffed.
Khushi hid her smile, while Preetika glared.
“Aah here comes the supermodel” NK whistled.
They twisted their necks as Lavanya Kashyap walked towards them, a dainty smile on her face.
“Hello guys” her voice settled down like mist against a window pane.
“Hi” , Khushi joined the chorus in a small voice.
“Arnav asked me to wait for him with you guys”, she shrugged.
“How nice,” Aman said dryly.
“Aha! Time for us to get to know each other more Lavanya “ NK grinned
“You can sit with us, you know ? Climb up!”
“No thanks NK, I don’t feel like sitting”
Khushi found herself rolling her eyes as her friends kept on asking Lavanya mundane questions. She desperately wished for Arnav to come and occupy his girl’s attention.
“So Khushi ? Aman tells me you are leading the dance club with him”
Startled at the sudden spotlight on her, she fell quiet for an awkward moment.
“Um yes Lavanya. Are you interested?”
“I don’t know. I did Bharatanatyam like you for a couple of years. But I don’t know if I should take up this or polo”
“Oh, you should take up polo! I could help you “ Preetika clapped.
“Thank you Preetika “ Lavanya shot her a charming smile.
Khushi looked up as she heard footsteps. 
“Hi everyone “ Arnav huffed out, catching his breath.
“You were in a hurry to get here, hah?” NK raised a brow.
Arnav laughed, “I am just getting away from Bakshi sir! He has been paranoid ever since green won against yellow ”
Khushi looked away as the thoughts of the last game flooded her mind.
“Eviscerated yellow house, you mean? We crushed them!” Mona laughed.
“Isn’t someone a little too smug for a match she didn’t play?” Aman teased.
“Ask Khushi! We brought luck to the team simply with our presence!”
“Khushi? You watched the match?” , the incredulity evident in NK’s voice.
“Yes. So?”
“So?” Aman chuckled, “You have never been at anything except the-“
“Finals”, Arnav interrupted. 
She didn’t need to look around to know she was bearing the brunt of all eyes.
“Things change”, she shrugged. 
Her eyes unwillingly met his. The storm visible in his depths. 
——————
Her fingers skimmed over the thick bindings, searching for something. Something which will last her for a week. Khushi looked up, to see golden letters gleaming from the bind of a brown leather bound. 
‘Emma’
She rose on tiptoes, an arm stretching out,a frown marring her face as she tried to reach it.
A warm breath of air grazed her neck. A shiver ran down her spine as her book was grabbed.
“Here” Arnav said hoarsely, “Jane Austen again?”
“Yes” Khushi whispered, “That one was ‘Pride and Prejudice’”
“Aah! Both your signature qualities !”
He grinned slyly, as she gasped in outrage.
“What the hell Arnav!”
“Sshhh!” 
Mrs. Roy’s disapproving glare was enough to stop their bickering. 
Sticking a tongue out at him, she brushed past him and placed the book on the desk.
“Miss Khushi I admire your reading habits but whenever Mr Raizada accompanies you,you spoil the sanctity of this library “ 
“Sorry ma’am, I am to be blamed” Arnav intervened charmingly, “And oh! The sanctity of this place is too strongly maintained by you to be broken by us!”
“Shoo off boy!” A rare smile broke across Mrs. Roy’s face.
————
Khushi stared at their entwined hands. Arnav had not let her have a moment of respite since they got out of the library. Her hand was quickly grabbed. And now, she was being dragged across campus.
She knew where they were heading. She knew they had to talk. But fear gripped her heart as she felt this could end up being worse for them. What if he confirmed her suspicions? Her hand turned rigid as an unpleasant feeling flooded her body. She was distracted as she felt Arnav clutching her hand tighter. 
She sighed. He was going to make it happen. Come hell or high water!
————
The bricks were home, Khushi thought as she climbed up the stairs, took off her bag and settled down in her usual spot, leaning against the wall.
Arnav smiled at her woebegone expression. He reached into his bag. And then brandished two sodas before her.
He threw his bag aside and settled down beside her.
“Thanks”, she cracked it open against the wall and took a deep sip.
“How was Payal di’s party?”
“You wouldn’t have had to ask me, had you been there”
Arnav looked away.
“You missed me?”
Khushi paused. She didn’t want to be flippant with him anymore.
“Yes”
Hearing his breath hitch, she felt her heart go a mile a minute.
“I am sorry Khushi” , he held her hand, “I just couldn’t come and be- be normal. I knew we couldn’t talk the way I wanted us to, had I been there. I was just too angry to see things clearly”
“So you admit you were unreasonable that day?” She raised a brow.
He frowned, “No. I wasn’t “
“Khushi, let me explain, “ he said as she struggled to free her hand.
“You’ll explain?”, she gave him a dubious look.
“Yes, just let me speak”
“Okay” she grumbled.
“I don’t like Dhruv. And I hate that he has asked you to attend every match of his. But because you want to be there for him, I won’t say anything again. But…I just want us to be us. If you are going to the ground, I would want you to tell me and not scatter off without a word!”
Khushi smiled at his exasperation.
“Dhruv is just the sub captain of our house, Arnav. He wants to be the captain next year. And if he feels, having visible supporters will help him win,I have to go, as his friend. I didn’t mean to brush you off but…”
“Lavanya is not my girlfriend “
She froze. Clutching her skirt, she felt cold. Her stomach was not being her friend.
“Khushi, she is new here. And we talked while I was showing her around. Her parents…NK must have told you. They are having an ugly divorce. It’s all in the papers. And she is getting stuck in between their fights . It was actually her grandmother who felt she would feel better here, away from the mess.”
She sighed, “I understand “
“And she is so reserved that she doesn’t even want to talk to other girls in our house. Even with NK and Aman around, she will fall silent! I just wanted to get her out of her shell. I feel sorry for her Khushi. And yesterday, I told her to go wait for me with you guys, so that she could make some friends”, Arnav shrugged.
She bit her lip.
“I get it, Arnav. I had just never seen you so occupied. I felt…that everything was changing. We were changing. And I was- I was simply upset”
A breath of air huffed out of her as Arnav mauled her into a hug.
“Never! We are never going to change Khushi “ his furious whisper reached her ears and calmed her heart.
She clutched him tightly, ignoring the flutter of butterflies in her stomach.
Everything felt right again. 
Under the dome, against the evening sky, they held each other, waiting for the twilight to chase away the sun.
————
Next chapter>>
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pyaargulzar · 4 months ago
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✦ ACHE
I think of you as I drift off to sleep, when I wake up, and in between.
I inhale you—never exhale.
I see you when I close my eyes, and search for you when I open them.
Visions of you fill every crevice of my mind.
And my skin carries the burn of your trace— gentle, fleeting yet searing.
And the rest of me, untouched, craves to suffer the same.
I am made of you.
I can only see myself reflected in your pupils.
In your eyes I exist; I am what you see in me.
You keep me intact, your gaze— the glue that binds me.
Thus, I am.
For you, by you, through you—I exist.
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