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Humans are adorable.

Supporting evidence:

1. Humans say ‘ow’, even if they haven’t actually been hurt. It’s just a thing they say when they think they might have been hurt, but aren’t sure yet.

2. Humans collect shiny things and decorate their bodies and nests with them. The shinier the better, although each individual has a unique taste for style and colouring

3. Humans are not an aquatic or even amphibious species, but they flock to bodies of water simply to play in it. They can’t even hold their breath all that long; they just love to splash!

4. When night falls and the sky goes dark, humans become drowsy and begin to cocoon themselves in soft, fluffy bedding.

5. Some humans spend time in each other’s nests! Just for fun! It’s not their nest; they’re just visiting each other.

6. Some humans use pigments and dyes to make their bodies flashy and colourful! They even attach shiny dangly bits to their cartalidgous membranes!

7. Humans are very clever, and sometimes adopt creatures from other species into their family units. They don’t seem to notice the obvious differences, and often raise them alongside their own young!

8. If a human sees another creature in distress, they can commonly be observed trying to help! Even at their own risk, most humans are deeply compassionate creatures!

9. If a human hears a particularity catchy sound or tune, it will often mimic it, even to the point of annoying themselves!

10. Sneezes are entirely involuntary, and completely adorable. Especially when the human in question becomes frustrated

11. Humans love treats!!! Some more than others. Many humans will save these treats specifically for a later date when they are in need of comfort or reassurance. IE, pickles, pop tarts, Popsicles, etc

12. They’re learning to travel in space!!! They can’t get very far, but they’re trying!!! So far, they’ve made it to the end of their yard, and have found rocks

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Parent: yells at and threatens child over a mistake

Child: doesnt want to spend time with them afterwards

Parent:

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Parent: yells at and threatens child over a mistake

Child: doesnt want to spend time with them afterwards

Parent:

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What I’d give to work in a little tearoom/bookstore with a resident cat that basks in the sunshine on the windowsill

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me .01 seconds after emphatically saying yes to plans

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Jamie Lee Curtis recreates iconic angry photos of herself

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you know whats really good? 

when black cats are drawn like this

thats really good thanks for coming to my ted talk

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A goyische friend asked, in the light of the Chabad shooting, what he can do. My immediate response was that he could volunteer to act as a door greeter at his local synagogue, which in retrospect sounded like ‘put yourself in the line of fire with us’, but going to synagogue shouldn’t BE putting oneself in the line of fire. It should be an act of love and commitment and community.

Do you want to know what you can really do to help, though? We’ve got killers referencing “The Protocols of the Elders of Zion” in all seriousness. Can we agree, as a group, that jokes coming from it aren’t cool? Can we stop perpetuating the antisemitic canards?

This means:

No secret lizard people jokes. These come via David Icke, who proposed that Zionists were reptilian aliens hiding among real people.

No Illuminati/‘secret cabal of bankers, media moguls and politicians running the world’ commentary. This is also often a dogwhistle for ‘them rich Jews run everything!’

Diligence to avoid promoting the blood libel–the ancient lie that Jewish people kill Christian babies for our matzah, or other lies that make us out as predators who seek the blood of our enemies.

Shut down Holocaust denial. Do I need to explain this one further?

A detailed list of antisemitic canards ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisemitic_canard ) can be found on Wikipedia. If you hear these come up, whether it’s at work or at home, with older people who ‘just don’t know any better’ or your children, please shut this shit down. It is literally getting people killed.

Feel free to reblog this, even if you’re not Jewish.

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ENDGAME SPOILERS

THANOS: PURPLE

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you have been visited by the seven magic dragon balls your biggest wish will be granted but only if you reblog

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“are you amab or afab???” im APAB (About to Punch A Bitch)

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yes babe, the heelys are off this time I promise, please come back to bed

*rips sheets off to reveal the heelys are still on* I fucking lied the swag never stops

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trying to spell necessary like

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you have been visited by the seven magic dragon balls your biggest wish will be granted but only if you reblog

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No.1 on the list of dogs that are so vacant the only explanation is that they were once beings of limitless knowledge who willingly sacrificed all of their intelligence for blissful ignorance:

Kermit

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She smelled like hand sanitizer, pure and reminiscent of a hospital.  Her lips were like marble, cold and smooth.  Her eyes were like a stop light, you wanted them to be green but they were red and occasionally yellow.