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purplemonkeyemi · 7 years ago

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exit, or, how i spent 2 evenings

Okay. I love writing my thoughts down. I used to do it all the time in my mid-teens, but life being as it is, I didn’t even dream of keeping that up. I don’t really know entirely why I’m writing this all down, but, I have a lot of free time and maybe one day I’ll find it amusing. I do think it’s important to discipline oneself to at least get one’s thoughts in order about things. So, this was my latest, intentional, grappling with a piece of art.

So, why “Exit”? Why did I spend, what, 3 hours or so watching about 15 different performances, in about 20 different videos, of one song from U2’s 2017 Joshua Tree tour? I’m not sure. And that’s probably why I did it. In hindsight, I feel like that’s the point in the U2 concert a couple weeks ago that I could have yelled at my husband, “Just shoot heroin in my arm next time!”… but, really, I think that had started about 8 songs earlier. Whatever the reason, I have not been able to get that performance out of my mind. I was admittedly enraptured by Bono as a performer that night, but this was different. And I couldn’t get it out of my head, like a ghost, or a shadow. Or a koan that I have to solve. I needed to interpret it to exorcise myself of it.

In a burst of girlish enthusiasm the other day, I decided I was going to find all of the high quality videos from the tour of Exit that I could find and watch them until I understood that performance. By this time I had figured out enough of my personal fascination with it—it’s very theatrical and it relies on several layers of “acting.” [I guess this requires a brief diversion into my general fascination with performers who become other people, including characters of themselves, especially relating to stage names.] BEGIN DIVERSION: Obviously, Bono is a stage name, one he’s carried for nearly (or exactly as?) long as he’s been in U2, over 40 years; it’s what everyone calls him, even his wife. But Bono, stage-Bono, like stage-the Edge, stage-Adam, and stage-Larry, like all musical artists, are, really, actors putting on a stage show. Each night, the same “costumes,” same lines, same set, same characters—they have to “be” themselves. A concert is an eleborate play. Sure, there’s some ad-lib, adapting for different audiences, etc. But those guys are “concert” versions of themselves for those 3 hours. Using Bono again, I’m 100% sure that stage-Bono, as earnest and genuine as he appears up there, is not the same Bono that his wife Ali lives with. Is the Bono that appears in public the same as Bono-at-home? Who knows, but I imagine unlikely. I can’t imagine how larger-than-life people maintain any sense of identity. I’m fascinated by all four members in this regard because they got together as 14/15 year olds and were rock gods by 20. What does that do to a person? :END DIVERSION So, one element: the performer—immersed in a multi-layered act which ends in a character created to protect himself from the darkness of the song (citation--one of several interviews I read). Bono as a real, everyday, married-with-kids-human, performing “Bono” for the audience (as much as he appears in-the-moment, and, often, utterly possessed by frenzied “in the zone”-ness), who is additionally portraying a character-- the Shadow Man—who exists only for this one song on this one tour. It’s an act, on an act, (conceivably on an act. I can’t imagine how public figures with alternate names maintain their sense of self after decades..). I bring this up, because the layers of the performance affect the interpretation. Next element: political commentary in which the song is set The lead-in to Exit (as well as the time-allowed for a significant costume change, it is theater after all), is a brief excerpt of an old television show. An enigmatic charlatan comes to an old West town claiming the only way to protect oneself and one’s home is to a build a wall. Another character calls him a liar, and the charlatan says he is the only one who can save them. Sounds familiar, right? Oh yeah, the charlatan’s name is Trump. An excellent find on the part of whoever unearthed it. Next element: song lyrics. I include them below. The song is about a wise, esoteric holy man who starts with good intentions, becomes obsessed with this idea of “the hands of love” and goes crazy (I can’t remember the details. Again, from an interview.)

And on this tour, there are two additional lyrical bits inserted at the end, which I’ll just do from memory. First, I believe, is a poem excerpt, “Where you’ve come from is gone, where you are is no good, and where you’re going was never really there.” Then a purposefully used version of “Eeeny Meeny Miny Moe,” chosen explicitly for its occasional racist uses (again, according to an interview, somewhere).

Final element: the stage—regular stage front, and a catwalk. I think the only way for me to do this is to annotate the lyrics. It should also be noted that variations occurred. BEGIN DIGRESSION: Watching this performance so many times from different concerts, it was obvious what was scripted. What was also obvious from this experiment, interviews, general observations, and such, is that during performances Bono exists in a very altered state of mind, becomes subject to his otherworldly soul, and turns into a performance artist, making choices (or being led by) based on said otherworldly soul. Clearly he can see through the haze, handling technical issues and such, but, from time to time, he seems to exist purely in the moment and interprets at will. Short version: each performance was a little different because Bono is a very free, uninhibited, one-of-a-kind spirit, especially on stage. It’s part of what makes him a fascinating human. :END DIGRESSION

So, let’s start interpreting this thing. I would like to note that, like interpreting literature, this does not always assume authorial intent. I imagine that artists of all types work as much by intuition as by purpose. Whether some of the choices made for this particular piece were logical or intuitive are irrelevant. “You know he got the cure But then he went astray He used to stay awake To drive the dreams he had away. He wanted to believe In the hands of love.”

-- Shadow Man walks with a slow saunter and swagger (rather than Bono’s charismatic, confident stride) to the mic stand; there’s some hand motions here, most importantly on “hands of love,” he rubs them together in front of his chest. Shadow Man is beginning his journey. He is intrigued, a little haunted, but earnest. He stands still at the mic stand. Sometimes, instead of sharply grabbing the mic, he pulls it, like an arrow, into his chest, in some sort of symbolic gesture. Then begins his descent. BEGIN DIGRESSION: I am/was really fascinated with how Bono interacted/interacts with his mic stand. It’s extremely physical, intimate, and borders on sexually aggressive (imagine Mad Men’s Don Draper and how he speaks to women). He stands very close, sings with his mouth basically on the mic, and takes the wireless mic with excessive force. This observation is one of performance and physical use of space. A similar energy also emerged with him and the camera.

I often try to figure out if stage/screen presence and charisma are tied to body language (conscious or unconscious); in Bono’s case, absolutely. His physical presence was inextricable from his bearing, demeanor, and his use of space/physicality. I think some of it is the learned artifice of a seasoned performer, while some of it, perhaps some of the mic dynamic, is natural and intangible charisma. I bring this up partly because Shadow Man does not have the same physical presence Bono did in the rest of the numbers—through purposeful artifice. This is a distinct character. :END DIGRESSION “His head it felt heavy As he came across the land A dog started cryin' Like a broken-hearted man At the howling wind”

--- Shadow Man begins his descent into darkness and confusion, portrayed by movement around the mic stand (yes, somewhat reminiscent of a stripper. I’ll address the song’s occasional increased sexuality in the next verse), visually representing a vortex. Now we get away from the stationary mic…

“He went deeper into black Deeper into white. He could see the stars shine Like nails in the night.

A hand in the pocket Fingering the steel The pistol weighed heavy And his heart he could feel was beating. Oh my love, oh my love”

--- Shadow Man touches violence and approaches his breakdown in the frenzied beat and lighting; also, in about half of the performances, this also has very sexualized choreography and vocalizations (ours did not), which I don’t need to detail; now, I don’t know for sure, but I’m fairly certain this is part of Shadow Man’s characterization. It could also be just “In the moment” performance-artist Bono taking over his body. But since it happened as many times as it didn’t, I think it’s purposeful and thus requires reckoning. The Shadow Man has progressed another step away from himself. “So hands that build Can also pull down. The hands of love.”

-- Shadow Man walks across the stage to the catwalk, where, on repeated refrains of “hands of love” he clearly has some conversion experience as conveyed by the choreography (AKA, basically just Bono going crazy, as he does do from time to time), also occasionally sexualized. This is Shadow Man’s transformation from which he emerges as a demagogue, using his mystical fascination as a tool to control rather than build or heal. After this, Shadow Man saunters dramatically down the catwalk, exhorting the crowd to put out their hands (or put their hands to the screen, as if he were a politician of TV evangelist). Of course, the audience does extend their hands—because, of course, it’s the appropriate thing to do when a rockstar tells you to. Except, this isn’t Bono, this is the Shadow Man. This is where the performance layer comes in. The audience is taken for a ride, just like the Shadow Man’s dupes are. U2’s audience becomes the Shadow Man’s audience. This is blatantly analogous to how the “dupes” who support the man who wants to build a wall respond to and believe that charlatan (remember the video this number was introduced by). The “hands of love” could just as easily be the hands of power. They both can build up or tear down, as the lyrics state. Of course, this US presidential administration is tearing down, and this song (among others, of course) is a rebuke. Also, it’s important to note that Bono’s a charlatan too, as all performers are to a greater or lesser degree (performing Shadow Man, and performing himself as a rockstar, of course). One could also add that he acts as a contrast to the Shadow Man, someone who has the ear of the people who tries to build up, to use his power, and hands, well. It’s perfectly constructed meta-commentary.

Next, Shadow Man gives his impassioned, broken-voiced, “Where you’ve come from is gone, and where you are is no good, and where you’re going was never really there” speech to his (U2’s) audience (all still with their hands out, as instructed). This sounds like, to me, the emotional appeal of the political right, or used on the political right. Shadow Man sounds, again, like a televangelist…or a politician. Then he approaches the camera arm, usually right up in it (sexually aggressive again), to give a crescendoing rendition of Eeny Meeny Miny Moe—working himself and the audience into a frenzy the louder, faster, and more frantic he gets. Remember, this snippet was included for its racist uses (though the traditional lyrics are used) and that the Shadow Man is a demagogue. Now he’s learned to manipulate his followers, and he’s led them to the realm of hate. (Hmmm…) The followers again are implored to put their hands “against the screen.” In one performance (perhaps the earliest one I found?) they’re even reminded to send him ten dollars, like a huckster, televangelist, or a politician. There’s a price for being swept up by the Shadow Man. The music then abruptly ends, and, during most of the performances, this happens as the Shadow Man is starting to saunter back towards the stage, and the moment it ends, he turns arounds (or stays forward, it varies), looking malicious of victorious (or is it Bono, with a look of condemnation?). Following this, Shadow Man strips of his jacket (if after one of the sexualized performances, this is still “in character” and it’s done sexually, like a striptease). Then he’s Bono again, who takes off the hat and moves into the next song as himself. Did I mention that the jacket covers a beautiful black vest embroidered (in black) of part of the US Constitution? Analyze that one. The narrative arc and political metaphor is clear and beautifully portrayed as a theatrical performance art piece, scripted yet also subject to the whims of (or forces acting upon) the artist.

It’s weird, and gorgeous, and bizarre. It’s far too layered to absorb in the moment. And I really enjoyed watching it, in various permutations, over a dozen times. When I could afford it, I remember seeing local community plays and musical repeatedly so I could see the subtle differences between performances. This was just like that. In this one Bono had to switch out his mic and remove/replace his earpieces right before the frenzied climax, interrupting the flow and breaking character, or in that one a verse was spoken more than sung, or in this one this choreography was a little different, etc. etc. Theater is alive and this piece of it caught me and would not let me go. Maybe now it will.

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purplemonkeyemi · 7 years ago

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a thing

1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up. I don’t use iTunes. Off to a good start!

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? The Rock seems like a great guy.

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. “I have done my duty to the people of South Africa. I have no doubt that—“ (a speech by Mandela in Wood’s Biko)

4) What do you think about most? Probably my husband.

5) Ever had a poem or song written about you? Not to my knowledge.

6) Do you have any strange phobias? Nope. I dislike needles and spiders, but not freakishly so.

7) What's your religion? I’m a progressive Christian.

8) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Reading or walking with my husband.

9) Favorite band? Gogol Bordello

10) What was the last lie you told? No idea.

11) Do you believe in karma? That’s really complicated.

12) What does your URL mean? My Tumbr URL is my Internet handle. For the past 15 years.

13) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? I’m bossy. I’m dedicated.

14) Who is your celebrity crush? Sean Bean is the crushiest of my faves (meaning, it’s a shallow affection), but I’m most enraptured of Kevin Kline and David Bowie.

15) How do you vent your anger? I don’t really get angry.

16) Do you have a collection of anything? Random fangirl movies.

17) Are you happy with the person you've become? With reservations.

18) What's a sound you hate; sound you love? Our dog barking when we’re trying to fall asleep. Hot water poured into a mug.

19) What's your biggest "what if"? “What if something happens to my husband!”

20) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Aliens, well, it’s such a huge universe, the probability is far in favor of life on other planets.

21) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. Sofa pillow. Sofa pillow.

22) Smell the air. What do you smell? A candle.

23) What's the worst place you have ever been to? The animal shelter in our previous town before they were able to build a new one.

24) Most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender? David Bowie. What a beautiful, enchanting, exquisite creature.

25) To you, what is the meaning of life? To love everyone.

26) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? Yes. Nope.

27) What was the last movie you saw? Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.

28) What's the worst injury you've ever had? Eh, wisdom teeth?

29) Do you have any obsessions right now? Blacklist has stolen my life this week.

30) Ever had a rumor spread about you? For a minute, yes.

31) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? Nah.

32) What is your astrological sign? Taurus.

33) What's the last thing you purchased? A cartilage piercing.

34) Love or lust? Context, context!

35) In a relationship? Yep.

36) How many relationships have you had? Only one romantic relationship.

37) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? Eh. I don’t think I have one.

38) Where is your best friend? In our room.

39) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Sleeping.

40) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Yep. Haha.

41) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? Save the dog, then run to work.

42) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? A) Some people, B) spend them with my husband, mainly, C) Yes

43) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Hallelujah, Leonard Cohen

44) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? Self-sacrifice and respect

45) How can I win your heart? Love books

46) Can insanity bring on more creativity? That is a dangerous connection to draw.

47) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? Besides religious ones, marrying my husband.

48) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? “She tried, ya’ll!” Hahahaha

49) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word "heart." Diary.

50) Basic question; what's your favorite color/colors? I love colorful things!

51) What is your current desktop picture? Cosmic cat.

52) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? Hm.

53) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on? Who in the past do you wish you would have dated when you had the chance? (though I’d still want to end up in the same place I am now!)

54) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? Better retention of..everything! Books, days, etc.

55) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? My wedding or exploring the ruined castle in Les Baux, France.

56) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Mmmm… I can’t do that. It would change me.

57) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? Bowie. Duh. What era? Now THERE’S a tough question.

58) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Wherever the Northern Lights are visible at that moment

59) Ever been on a plane? Many times

60) Give me your top 5 hottest celebrities. Kevin Kline, Sean Bean, Michael Fassbender in the right scene, … I’m drawing a blank on two more. Lazy brain. Needless to say, my taste is mainly unconventional.

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purplemonkeyemi · 7 years ago

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YEP

me talking about how attractive I find guys my age: ▶🔘──────── 0:04 me talking about men much older than me: ▶🔘──────── 60:56:19

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purplemonkeyemi · 7 years ago

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This makes me feel good.