pure-hubris

[pure-hubris]

i hauve a cold

[pure-hubris]

[pure-hubris]

[pure-hubris]

Honestly, you don't need dating advice save for "just be yourself". If a guy isn't seduced by your extensive lecture about coealacanths, or a girl isn't impressed by you gaming the McDonald's systems to finesse yourself 30 free chicken nuggets, you're on a date with the wrong person. Not a bad person, but one that isn't the right match for you, and the way you want to live.

First dates are for showing someone "hey this is the kind of life I like to be living", them doing the same, until you find someone who clicks and you both think "fuck yeah I want to live like this." Whether that's sitting in a café judging joggers, or casually committing small crime for shits and giggles.

[pure-hubris]

[pure-hubris]

"save me, substance abuse!" i cry. before you can moralize to me about the dangers of addiction, a noble and powerful steed gallops into the room - my horse whom i have named "substance abuse". you learn an important lesson about making assumptions. i snort a line off its back

[pure-hubris]

waving my freak flag at half mast to indicate there has been a pervert tragedy

[pure-hubris]

ladies and gents may i present you with my favorite photo of Ella Fitzgerald ft. that guy

homie was down bad, and can we blame him?

[pure-hubris]

i feel like we don't appreciate these days how much the twin towers sucked, like, design-wise

they were contemporarily hated for just being these giant grey monoliths

like there probably could've been an easier way to get rid of them, but they probably needed to go either way

[pure-hubris]

imagine if your boyfriend was like I can smell an ant. and started tracking

[pure-hubris]

"Ok, ma'am that'll be $226.03."

I take my wallet out of my pocket and unfold it. It is empty other than a single moth that lazily flies out. The moth lands on the tap point of the card reader. There's a beat, and my payment is processed. The moth flies back into my wallet and I put it back in my pocket.

[pure-hubris]

[pure-hubris]

"That was beneath me" is such a delightfully funny way to apologise. Like yeah I did something shitty that I regret doing, and I'm ready to admit to both of those points, but you're shitting squirrels if you think I'm going to get off my moral high horse to do that.

[pure-hubris]

the epidemic of grown adults playing tiktoks at full volume in public is rampant why are you acting like a 7 year old with their first ipad you have a mortgage

[pure-hubris]

My two fearsome beasts

[pure-hubris]

The Trap

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PATREON // SHOP // YouTube // Instagram

[pure-hubris]

new variant on “your boos mean nothing; I’ve seen what makes you cheer”