puntimeswithphriends
Pun Times (with friends)
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puntimeswithphriends · 1 year ago
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vice.
renn: did you know that gambling is the deadliest vice Kabir: what, over erotic asphyxiation? I think not renn: that's not a vice, that's just being kinky and cool Kabir: erotic asphyxiation is kinky and cool Kabir: autoerotic asphyxiation is embarrassing renn: sometimes if you want a job done well renn: you just gotta tie yourself to the doorknob
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puntimeswithphriends · 1 year ago
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teeth.
renn: how are you feeling with yo teeths Qi: oh for a set of not-so-great teeth they're chewing up my savings pretty well
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puntimeswithphriends · 1 year ago
Conversation
loud.
renn: but he's very quiet and she's very loud
Carl: that's most couples i think... Not necessarily loud. But if someone is loud. It's probably the girl
renn: wow ok
Carl: What ...? Am i not correct
renn: maybe we are loud because y'all don't LISTEN
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puntimeswithphriends · 2 years ago
Conversation
mycology.
renn: dinner was great, he liked my friends a lot
renn: and was very impressed by their cool stories
Lev: what cool stories did they have
renn: Jess and I talked about mycology a lot
Lev: tlou really opened you up to a world eh?
renn: pshh
renn: I knew about mycology long before that
renn: and I talked to you about it
renn: apparently it fell on deaf ears
Lev: oh yeah?
Lev: name three mushrooms
renn: I'm not dignifying that with a response
Lev: but we still talked about mycology after tlou
renn: yeah but it didn't open me up
Lev: what did
renn: nothing
renn: everything is still closed
renn: so as not to let the pores in
Lev: do you mean spores
renn: um
renn: shut up
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puntimeswithphriends · 2 years ago
Conversation
book.
renn: whats my favourite book
Lev: I think it's one of the russian ones
Lev: master and the margarita?
renn: nope
renn: I've never read it
renn: I've read very little russian literature
Lev: cause your brain small
renn: maybe reading is just dumb
Lev: ok I give up
renn: hitchhikiers guide
Lev: oh noooooo
Lev: I thought it was gonna be harry potter
renn: you really think I'm barely cognisant don't you
Lev: next
renn: harry potter
renn: like I read a book every 11 years or something
Lev: ok ok
renn: I'll have you know I thought the harry potter books were derivative
renn: and cheugy
Lev: derivative of what
renn: of other books
Lev: cause they had pages?
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puntimeswithphriends · 2 years ago
Conversation
folf.
Carl: I'm being nitpicky but is this page just supposed to be picture above the folf
renn: above the what?
Carl: Lol fold
renn: I still don't understand
Carl: When i load page i see only picture
Carl: No title
Carl: Feel weird i do with no title
renn: oh yeah you're right, I should add one
renn: good point
Carl: This conversation is also undercutting your communications expert point
renn: sorry carl but this is all on you
renn: like I pride myself on being able to see through people's typos
renn: but I am working within the constraints of a mortal mind
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puntimeswithphriends · 2 years ago
Conversation
taiki.
Carl: Don't encourage
Carl: My addictions
renn: but it's ice cream seasons
Carl: Shhh
Carl: I don't want to hear it
renn: next time you feel like eating ice cream
renn: just watch jury duty instead
Carl: Fair enough
Carl: Have you seen beef
renn: yes
renn: it very good
Carl: What about our flag means death
renn: I tried
renn: I loved the premise but I guess taiki wamaiki is not my guy
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puntimeswithphriends · 2 years ago
Conversation
basic bureaucracy.
Lev: oh I can only imagine what an absolute sploosh it would be for you
Lev: if you had some problem with the bank
Lev: and the partner calls in to fix it
Lev: and gets increasingly more frustrated and mad at the person on the other end of the line
Lev: it's just unfortunate that the person you're calling is never the person whose fault it is
Lev: and rather it's an amorphous badly oiled system
Lev: where you can't pinpoint the one person to let out your indignant frustration on
renn: oh my god if that ever happened he would receive a full weekend of the wildest shit he can think to ask of
renn: and some wild shit that he ain't ever heard of
Lev: I guess you'll have to get more banking problems
renn: it can work for any other issue
renn: gym memberships
renn: retail returns
renn: post office waiting times
renn: (I had to wait at the post office the other day and I did not like it)
Lev: interact with basic bureaucracy any % speedrun (very hard you are renn)
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puntimeswithphriends · 2 years ago
Conversation
gender campaign.
Lev: and the work stuff?
Lev: why so intense
renn: cause of women's day
renn: and I'm in charge of the gender campaign
renn: so we had a lot of stuff at once
renn: and the new director of WFP is a woman so there was lots of pressure
renn: but it all turned out okay
Lev: yay
renn: but I was working until midnight every day
Lev: killin it
Lev: its the hustle
Lev: it may have been womens day but you became a sigma male
renn: those females better be thankful
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puntimeswithphriends · 2 years ago
Conversation
sima.
Lev: the tiktok you sent still hasnt loaded
renn: I don't know man
Lev: but do you know gregory
Lev: he was free from a trash can
renn: just like sima
Lev: sima is a fancy cat
Lev: she came from a recycling bin
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puntimeswithphriends · 2 years ago
Conversation
ice creaming.
renn: I'm walking and texting
Lev: im meeting and texting
Lev: im done meeting and texting
Lev: i now want to be eating and texting
renn: I'm ice creaming
Lev: i dont like any of those flavours
renn: You crazy
renn: The milk chocolate slaps hard
Lev: give me some coconut up in this shit
Lev: or lychee
renn: Just like nonna used to make
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puntimeswithphriends · 2 years ago
Conversation
bday again.
Lev: how was the bday
renn: It was fun enough
renn: I went there, made everyone laugh at least five times, and then I went home
Lev: quota fulfilled
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puntimeswithphriends · 2 years ago
Conversation
birthday.
renn: ehhh we'll see
renn: it'll be ok if you're too busy
renn: but also I will throw a tantrum
renn: especially if you don't give me enough attention on my birthday
Lev: you'll get you'll get
Lev: and like
Lev: 20% of a birthday drawing
renn: you better make it up to me with other things
Lev: bro I'm working so hard on it
renn: i know you are
renn: that's ok, I understand if it's not ready in time
renn: mine wasn't either
renn: but I do need other things to make up for it
renn: attention
renn: words of affirmation
renn: and a blood oath
renn: of everlasting friendship
Lev: occay
Lev: standard birthday month shit
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puntimeswithphriends · 2 years ago
Conversation
hot takes.
Lev: give me hot takes on The Menu
Lev: I'm reading reddit's
renn: is that what you're doing?
renn: while I'm sending you sweet messages
renn: you're just reading reddit
renn: this is a bad habit you have
renn: form your own opinion first
Lev: everyone is saying this is a refreshing spin on the classic film ratatouille
Lev: also sweet messages
Lev: you sent one message
Lev: apropos of nothing
renn: i'm about to apropos out of this conversation
Lev: that's not how that word works
renn: we're supposed to have the discussion first
renn: and read later
renn: instead I am being ignored
renn: in favour of your reddit friends who compared it to ratatouille
renn: revolutionary
Lev: you sound like those comedians with a netflix special
Lev: talking about getting cancelled
Lev: while I coddle your every stupid little thought
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puntimeswithphriends · 2 years ago
Conversation
precendence.
renn: to sum up
renn: cartly is forgettable, shani is in rome, and if you ever forget to send me a text to wake up to I will lose my entire shit
Lev: lol
Lev: cmoooon
renn: you come on
Lev: I am not agreeing to this precedence
renn: I googled what does precendence is and I still don't get it
renn: I think you mean a set of rules
Lev: probably because I meant precedent
renn: and that's fine, you can not agree
renn: but I will be sad
Lev: :c
Lev: this is emotional blackmail
renn: I'm sorry but women don't go back in lifestyle
renn: I am used to a certain standard now
Lev: well I don't know what to tell you
Lev: this is how you get low quality mass produced gm messages
renn: I guess it just means that once I'm not around to provide quips
renn: I'm just completely out of your mind
renn: I cease to exist as a part of your life
renn: and you have nothing to tell me
renn: and nothing to share
Lev: when you woke up this morning
Lev: did you have to choose
Lev: between fuckin up my day or punching a stranger
Lev: or did it come naturally
renn: when it comes to fuckin up your day
renn: I don't even have an alternative
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puntimeswithphriends · 2 years ago
Conversation
bartender.
Lev: are you at the resto?
renn: Not yet, I'm still having drinks
renn: Got chatty with the bartender
Lev: riled
renn: It's a girl bartender
Lev: turned on
renn: men are pigs
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puntimeswithphriends · 2 years ago
Conversation
worst timeline.
renn: harry potter's spinoff play is about going back in time and causing an alternative timeline
renn: the thing is that if you believe there are an infinite number of timelines
renn: any story that is about going back in time and discovering that you're only making things worse by changing stuff
renn: isn't really about how they are living in the best timeline
renn: it's about their failure to find the good one
Lev: right? I agree
Lev: just keep trying
Lev: fuck over all your clones
Lev: do better
renn: some people don't believe in multiverse theory
renn: but to them I say 'live a little'
renn: 'what are you, my mom?'
renn: cmon
Lev: 'go home, nerd'
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