punk-lou

[punk-lou]

Just after sunset during the Minneapolis memorial for Liam, someone released five red heart balloons. As they rose up together, one balloon rose higher and faster while the other four seemed to hang back sending it off. To me, the moment felt like these lyrics

You will find me In places that we've never been For reasons we don't understand Walking in the wind

Liam may be gone, but we will continue to find him in many ways as we carry on his memory.

[punk-lou]

It’s so odd. I’ve spent the past few days submerged in a low hum of sadness, almost unaware of why I feel this way. The pain is dull enough — or has been made dull enough, because it can’t be explained out loud to those who don’t get it — that I can manage.

Manage to go to work. Manage to make lunch. Manage to fold laundry. Perfunctory things. Adult things. Routine, responsible, mundane things.

But then I reach for something that is meant to spark happiness, comfort, entertainment— music, movies, writing — and then the illusion collapses.

Liam is gone and because of that, it’s joy that I can’t manage right now; the only thing I can’t bring myself to be or do or feel — the only thing that’s out of reach.

[punk-lou]

Liam talking about his tattoo. +

[punk-lou]

Zayn for Martyre. 📷: Alana O’Herlihy.

[punk-lou]

someone actually go and save HIM

[punk-lou]

I have loved you since we were 18

[punk-lou]

[punk-lou]

Parallels on tour: Outfit (15/?)

LTWT: San José HS: Summertime Ball 22

[punk-lou]

i love every cat in the entire world. every cat on the planet.

[punk-lou]

[punk-lou]

have you guys heard about cats

[punk-lou]

Why is this so heart melting

[punk-lou]

[punk-lou]

did someone say rose and dagger

[punk-lou]

hl: [is married] 

[punk-lou]

Sonya Sklaroff - Rainbow Flag, 2017

[punk-lou]

the black saint & the sinner lady & the dead & the truth, morgan parker // the truth the dead know, anne sexton.