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CLOWN ??

         Oh, how darling! He thought it’d be cute to try and jump ahead of his punchline. God, he could just TEAR the rest of that balding hair right out of this LEECH on his héritage de bourder. “Aw, TOUGH LUCK !!! The punchline was Sarah Gordon, but only the REAL Joker would know that right, pumpkin?”

          ❝ just because YOU know what your joke’ll be doesn’t make it funny, dipstick ! ❞   he CHORTLES, tilting his head away.   ❝ so two clowns enter a bar ... sarah gordon ? i say it’s not EXACTLY a page-flipper. ❞   his expression is quizzical, his brow furrowed in thought. AHAH ! he’s got one.   

          ❝ here’s a tummy-tickler ; a villain and a crook find each other in an alley. the crook holds up a driver’s license, and tells the villain that he’s going to use it to do terrible things. the villain starts LAUGHING, and the crook --- now the crook starts asking why, what’s so funny ? ❞   the joker pulls out a knife --- his knife, the only one he’s ever needed.   ❝ at first, he stops laughing and tells the crook you’re an idiot, nobody would believe you were me. well the crook doesn’t care, he’s going to change the face on the license anyway, it doesn’t matter what he looks like. the villain wishes him well, and walks away. ❞   and this is where the joker starts laughing.   ❝ you see ------- the next day, the villain flips on the tv and sees the crook’s mugshot. the man was ARRESTED for fraud the first day he used it, simply because HE COULDN’T be me ! ❞   though the likeness was uncanny --- which is the issue.

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NOT IT !

           “Heard  THIS ONE  before? Two clowns walk into a bar…” Joker didn’t like this  I M P O S T E R .  Stealing someone’s style, look, and voice? It’s the ultimate form of flattery! Joker HATED flattery. It made him want to wring someone’s neck, just for funsies. 

@punchlined​

          the joker ( the obvious real one ) yawns, stretching his arms out as if he’s about to take a nap. this FAKER was out to nab his name, his title his legacy ! oh this just wouldn’t do, he wouldn’t stand for THIS.   ❝ i’m sure i don’t have to ask but skip to the end and tell me how many LEAVE. ❞

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i keep forgetting abt joker so im gonna make an active attempt to be here lmao soRRY

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HARLEY !

“   is   that   a   BANANA   in   my   popcorn   or   you   just   happy   to   SEE   me   ??   “

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❝ this might not be the time to say it, but there may NEVER be time again.   i HATE this city.   the crime and corruption and the filth — the subway and the crowds — !   but … i love it, too. it’s a PART of me, the way it’s a part of you. if gotham dies, they might as well bury me with her. there’ve been a lot of REGRETS in my life, batman, but there’s one thing i won’t forget.   you and i fought in the same war. the war for the good this city has to offer. ❞

          james worthington gordon.   written by snake.

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[sad joker icon here]   i missed the 69 milestone

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HARLEY.

        “  yea-h,  don’t  sweat  it,  baby.  my  appetite  went  t’  the  same  place  these  guys  are  right  now.  ”      oh,  she  can  barely  stand  straight  and  she  can  barely ��be  understood  with  that  hand  on  her  mouth  preventing  an  accident  that,  believe  it  or  not,  could  end  up  making  the  place  be  a  tad  bit  more…  unpleasant.  it’s  the  smell,  it’s  the  sight,  it’s  her  skipping breakfast  this  morning; now  mix  all  the  previous  things  and  add  the  pinch  of  uneasiness  superstition  never  fails  carrying.  still,   curious  eyes  manage  peeking  from  behind  his  back—-      “  ha,  an’  to  think  he’s  younger  than  you,  boss.  what  not  wearin’  sunscreen  does  to  ya!  so  deteriorated.  ”

      —-,  same  pair  seconds  later  widens  with  panic  after  landing  on  the  toy  he  decided   bringing,  and  she  took  a  deep  breath  despite  the  smell  and  the  joker’s  arm  is  suddenly  found  captive  of  a  set  of  tiny  hands.      “  noooow  that’s a  bit  disrespectful,  sweetie,  he  could  get  mad.  ”       last  words  sliding  out  in  a  raspy  whisper.

          the joker advances towards the body, twirling the knife in his hand.   ❝ not to worry, baby ... we’ll be out of here in a JIFFY ! ❞   his hand LIFTS into the air, ready to come down on the corpse’s abdomen ---- when he’s yanked backwards. he keeps his arm in the air, turning his head around to face the anchor that keeps him still.

          his smile fades only to return rather FORCED.   ❝ harley ... ❞   the joker YANKS his arm out of her grasp, taking a moment to regain his composure. how SIMPLE this all was ; all he had to do was STICK the knife in this boy’s stomach and pull out what was rightfully his. if the bastard hadn’t swallowed it in the first place, he wouldn’t have to get his hands DIRTY ----- but alas.   ❝ harley, pumpkin ... why don’t you go wait in the car ? i’d be done quicker if your WEAK COMPOSITION could only handle the most simple of DISTURBANCES. now out of my way, i’m BUSY. ❞

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hey bois   this is my walloft.ext for joker and gordon for u ppl to piss around on

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          ❝ this reminds me of a joke … see, there’s these two guys in a lunatic asylum, and one night they decide that they don’t like being there anymore ; they decide to escape ! so when they get up onto the roof, right across a narrow gap they can see the rooftops of the town below. now the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem —– but his friend, oh no, he didn’t dare jump. you see, he’s afraid of falling. but the first guy has an idea ! he says ‘ hey, i have this flashlight ! i’ll shine it across the gap and you can walk across the beam and join me ! ’ but the second guy shakes his head. he says ‘ what do you think i am, crazy ? you’re just gonna turn it off when i’m halfway across ! ’ ❞

                              the joker. written by snake, inspired by mark hamill

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HARLEY.

        in her  head,  the  thought  of  what  a  lovely  day  they  had  picked  just  for  this  was  constant.  y’see,  gotham  is  the  sort  of  place  you  have  to  look  up  and  see  who  to  thank  in  those  fewer  occasions  the  sun  decides finally  coming  out  and  provide  its  citizens  of  vitamin  d  and  all  that  other  good  stuff.  leaves  looked  a  bit  greener  and  buds  had  flourished  and  clean  air  filled  the  lungs  of  everyone  and  the  ice - cream  truck  had  free  pops  for  those  looking  extra  happy  today.  those  are  some  experiences  she  would  kill  just  anyone  to  live  right  now—-   lucky  her,  there  wasn’t  just  anyone  around  at  the  moment. anyone  alive,  for  that  matter.  but  what  did  she  have  to  envy  of  those  outside  when  her  very  own  ribcage swelled  with  the  charming  odor  of  the  morgue?

          “  a-a  bit  too  macabre,  puddin’.  i  thought  we’d  agreed  leaving  this  gag  f’r  h-halloween  time…  ”      well, at  the  very  least,  she’s  with  him.

♡ ≫ @punchlined.

     ALL AROUND THEM WERE FAMILIAR FACES !   after all, how familiar the were with the dead and the quiet. so many gone out with a wondrous BANG. the joker inhaled deeply, taking in the dust and the dreary. he exhales, finding sweet relief in the cool indoors of the morgue, away from the blistering sunshine that gotham had blessed them with this day. but while he tried to enjoy himself, a NAGGING, pitchy voice had to just PIPE UP. oh harley, never satisfied are you ?   ❝ oh, pooh, i know how much you wanted that picnic but we simply CAN’T today. ❞   eenie, meenie, miney, mo ---- that’s the one. the joker tossed the ledger aside, clipboard landing square in the nose of the morgue worker who had a wide GRIN in their unconscious state.   ❝ daddy’s got work to do ... huahuahuah ... ❞   he chuckles, pulling the knife from his coat as he pulls out one of the dead drawers.   ❝ there you are, old chum ! ❞

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mothernatvre

     the gun  remains  aimed  at  the  clown  and  the  hand  holding  it  is far  more  patient  than  the  woman  it  belongs  to.   pamela feels  her  jaw  tightening  whenever  being  called anything OTHER than dr.  isley.          ❝        i  have  no  interest  in  financing  your crimes against  fashion, joker.            ❞               she  finally  said  after  examining  the madman’s  outfit,  deeply  unimpressed  by  his  choice  of garments.  however,  something  in  the  woman’s  sharp glare SOFTENED.       ❝       but i  would  rather  learn  to  tolerate  your  ugly  outfit  than batman’s.            ❞              the  gun  was  set  upon  her  desk. SLOWLY. as if  any  sudden  movements  might  send  the  clown  into  a  frenzy ;  he  was  a  ticking  time  bomb  whose  watch  no  one  could read. it had  a  will  of  its’  own. and dr.  isley  had  every  intention  of  surviving  that  evening. pamela  bent  one  leg  over  the  other,  holding  her  chin  up high,  facing  the  clown  exactly  the  same  way  she  had  faced that  morning’s  meeting.  she  had  spoken  to  rows  of  wayne enterprises  employees  who’d  rather  look  at her cleavage than listen to what  she  had  to  say.  probably  for  the  best,  thought pamela.  being  underestimated  always  made  it  easier  for  dr. isley  to  catch  others  by SURPRISE.                 ❝        what exactly  are  you  offering?            ❞             

     GIDDY AS A SCHOOLBOY !   the joker takes a seat and leans backwards, lounging as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. though the work had just begun.   ❝ i’m SO happy you feel that way, babes ! what i offer is SIMPLE, and my payment is even simpler. ❞   his hand goes back into his jacket, and he pulls out a large knife and a sharpie. grabbing the nearest piece of paper, he draws a crude and silly batman head. the joker places this upon her desk, and with a loud THUD, drives the knife through the paper.   ❝ there, simple enough ? all i need in return is ... your help. ❞   the joker reveals the inside of his jacket, two canisters attached to tubes leading up to his collar and out into the green flower decorating the exterior. they were empty, sadly, and it truly saddened him.   ❝ see, you and i would both benefit from the batman being taken out of the picture, but i’m in a spot of bother ! my dearest darling and i have run short on cash and simply don’t have the money to get by ... a pity, i know, but YOU have the means to provide me with what i need ! ❞   the joker hops up out of the seat, a hand outstretched towards pamela.   ❝ do we have an accord ? ❞

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i been workin all day on g.ordon but im drunk and tired and feelin meme-y so like this and i’ll send you a meme OR you can send one to me and i’ll see if i can muster up enough strength to write it out

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i have no reason for this i just might be a little deadpool-starved

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i do solemnly swear to spare u all nsfw joker content

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hi is this buttdad

    no this is jamster the clown prince of fuck off   hangs up the phone

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The Joker and Batman by Bruce Timm