punching-today-in-the-dick

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So, I took a shower with my contacts in for the first time ever last night….

All those times I’ve whined, “my bathroom is fine. My shower is fine. I don’t need to clean it just because my sister is coming to stay. She’s my sister, she’s stuck with me for life anyway, she can just deal if it’s not ✨pristine✨.”

I definitely owe my sister an apology.

I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.

My shower is not fine. My shower is absolutely revolting. Oh my god.

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just got invited to a meeting called “1000 problems” so things are probably going well

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Oh my god, how do I qualify as an adult? Please, kill me now.

I've been putting off filing my taxes for FY23 for ages because a tiny change in the tax code meant that a couple people I know were expecting a rebate and were instead hit with a surprise $5000 tax bill. And I really didn't want to face that possibility. (Also, it's taxes. No one is excited to file their taxes.)

So, here I am, finally filing them almost three months late--

It took me literally two minutes and I can expect a $7k rebate in my bank account any day now.

Fuck me. Fuck anxiety. Fuck ADHD. I'm a disaster.

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Finally snapped and spent all of yesterday cleaning out my home office. This included a significant amount of time smacking a moth-filled rug with a tennis racket from the 80s. And now my entire body hurts.

You forget you have muscles on your ribs until they’re sore.

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So, I’ve just had an interview that has kind of blown me away. And not, in any respect, a good way. More in the way that, even though I’ve been unemployed for a year now and am rather desperate to find a position that will let me relocate cities (which this one would do), had me thinking no one in their right mind would accept this job.

I was already concerned when the job description was long enough to be three people’s jobs, but that’s just what EA jobs tend to be. And then this guy started talking and…. Yeah. This interview went for an hour and a half, by the way. He just kept going.

“We work predominantly with the mining industry”

Okay. Alright. That’s a bit squicky for me, ethically, right out the gate but I can probably grit my teeth and bear it if the rest of the job is respectable.

“Because we work with a lot of international clients, we’re really not a 9-5 company”

Okay, so I imagine you’ve got some sort of flexi-time or hours tracking thing going on.

“No.”

Alright, but there would at least be overtime, right?

“No. You’d get a yearly bonus that I get to decide arbitrarily and, because of that, we feel like we have the right to have you on-call 24 hours a day.”

Okaaaayyyy…..

“We’re an American-based company”

That doesn’t make you exempt from Australian labour laws, mate, and what you’ve proposed is very much illegal. I know you know this; you have a Law degree.

There’s literally no other compensation for forfeiting my entire life to this job?

“Nope! Just the bare minimum required by law and, actually not even that.”

“Let’s talk about your mental health…”

Buddy, respectfully, fuck you.

“Yeah, the woman currently in the role is leaving because she’s exhausted. So I laughed at her and said she should have taken a holiday four months ago when I told her to.”

Wow, you sound great. Please never contact me again.

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Went to a wedding and then, the very next day, had lunch with a friend and visited my sister.

As such, I would like to formally apply for one week’s leave from Life so I can sit in a dark room in silence and not interact with anyone until I feel better.

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i hate you microsoft teams i hate you outlook i hate you log in authentication i hate you email notifications i hate you meetings that couldve been an email i hate you status updates i hate you i hate you i hate you

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I just realised I directed the mechanic to my glovebox when he asked where my logbook was kept. The glovebox in which I have a hi-vis vest for wearing on construction sites and a spare pair of sheer stockings.

You gotta admit, that’s a weird combination of items. I can’t even imagine what kind of life this mechanic now thinks I lead.

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It’s time for another fun game of…

✨✨Is It Covid Or Is It Burnout??!? ✨ ✨

And it is…. Burnout!

Congratulations! For your prize, you win a day at work!!

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These are things people say to me

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Got really excited that the cafe where I get lunch remembered my name. It’s an unusual name, half the time they just call out the order rather than try and pronounce it, so this is a big deal for me.

And then I realised I’m wearing my pass on a lanyard today — It was literally right in front of her face

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Day 2 of the new job, featuring texts to my sister:

… I may have torn something.

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A meme compilation, theme: emails and how they found you