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I have never felt so weird and bad in my whole damn life.

I've never had more than like 50-100 followers on a blog, and now I have over 400. I've never recieved asks until I made this blog. I've never had people who wanted to talk to me, to be my friend. And those people are all so cool and nice, but despite that, those "let's chat/follow me so I can message you" asks I get make me so anxious I feel like I'm going to puke. I don't know why talking to people is so hard for me. I thought that by answering asks, by messaging people, I'd get better, get used to it. But it's always hard and I always ruin it.

I'm depressed, I'm overwhelmed, and tumblr isn't fun anymore.

I'm sorry, I know how overdramatic this is, but I wanted to get these bad feelings out and give some sort of an explanation as to why I'm leaving for a while. I don't know if I'm going to abandon this account, but I'm definitely taking a break. I don't know for how long.

To the people I chat with: I'm fucking sorry for being so catastrophically bad at talking to people. You're all so kind and patient with me and my weirdness and I like you all so much and I'm sorry.

And I'm sorry to all the people who asked to talk to me but never got a response. I'm sure you're amazing, I'm just fucking scared. I'm sorry for ignoring you like a bitch, you don't deserve that.

Jesus I've only had this blog for like two months and I'm already having a mental/emotional meltdown. This is all so whiny and stupid.

I don't know what else to say. I feel like this post is too long but I also feel like I'm not really describing what's going on. I don't even think I could if I wanted to. I'm just crying, I just feel bad and I want to disappear so that's what I'm doing. For a while, at least. If I decide to come back it won't be until I'm better. I know I'm never gonna be good at being a friend or just being around other people in general, I know there's no "cure" for that. I don't know what "until I'm better" means. Sorry.

I hope that if/when I feel good enough to post again things can be like they used to be, back when this was easy. I wanna write every day like I used to.

That was too fuckin long and rambly.

Anyway. Sorry for being a bad friend. Sorry for not being honest about how bad my anxiety is. Sorry for ditching you all like a piece of shit coward.

Thank you for everything.

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spider gf: *catches you in her web*

spider gf: 88w88 what’s this??

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seriously though why do wizards celebrate christmas other than ‘jk rowling is christian’

what reason do literal wizards have to celebrate a muggle god whose miracles are mostly within the limits of what wizards can normally do anyway

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They’re here. Your polemans

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Commission for heartpastels over at twitter! Always love it when people ask em to draw cute characters!

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Things have been pretty great for me today, day off, lots of stuff done! I've an ask but it's kinda embarassing to me, and I dunno if I should aha

That's good! :D And no need to be embarrassed, go ahead and ask! ^^

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Use this as a battlemap in your next D&D game

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teaching children that they are allowed to walk away and cool off if they are feeling overwhelmed might literally save their life as teens/adults

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[x]

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the more I think about my past self the more I

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Help a trans woman pay off a whopper of medical debt.

My name is Christine and I am a trans woman who found out her insurance company randomly decided to reject a portion of treatment they normally always covered.

Help me reach $1,000.00.

Even smaller donations help. Signal boost otherwise. Please donate to my PayPal at:

https://www.paypal.me/Chrissykins

Update: according to the statement the bill is due middle of next month.

[the following is a jpeg graphic of a persons account standing in a Medical Chart App affiliated with UNC hospital groups. The first service is billed for an outstanding balance of $210.92. The second service is billed for $888.78. The entire post is calling for help to pay it off.]

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Some quick doodles, still currently tablet-less. Inspired by silly, unrelated thoughts of joggers and renaissance faires.

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Supportive dad cat being there for his wife and kids.