psycho-analyzing-grief

[psycho-analyzing-grief]

The Other Side [Nov 2023]

written by: wil

Mentions of suicide and self-harm

Cecilia Lisbon from The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides is a thirteen-year-old girl who attempts suicide twice and succeeds the second time. She grows up with four sisters all older than her in an isolated conservative family. Cecilia’s character is veiled in melancholy and an atmosphere of secrecy. The stifling suburban culture and the oppressive rules enforced by her parents contribute significantly to Cecilia’s feeling of confinement in her own home.

On her first attempt, she tries to slit her wrist in the bathroom with a prayer card and a tattered wedding dress on. This begins a narrative of innocence and naivete about the world around her. Her connection to nature, exemplified by her collection of dead animals, hints at a childlike curiosity of a morbid topic. The novel suggests that her suicide is a rebellion against her family, her own diary saying, “How stupid can you be?” about a neighborhood boy who tried to kill himself by jumping off his roof but survived (Eugenides 30). Her own thoughts on suicide are harsh and cold, which does not make sense as to why she killed herself. She also tells her doctor, “It was a mistake,” after being asked why she attempted (Eugenides 19). However, the material conditions that the Lisbon sisters were dealt were lousy because of the general abuse and lack of expression allowed by their parents. Mr. Lisbon on one occasion completely refused when a boy asked to take one of the sisters to homecoming saying, “It’s just against our policy,” (Eugenides 109). Unfortunately for the Lisbons their picket fence dream is shattered when Cecilia attempts and succeeds by jumping out of a window impaling on the fence. This death is harsher than the first attempt that Cecilia does. All the little things about how her family functions and thrives restrict her individuality, culminating in a big emotional outburst.

A single traumatic event has the power to rupture the fragile equilibrium of the mind, creating an unequal balance of power of certain emotions. It acts as a catalyst, overwhelming the individual with feelings of grief, despair, and anger that can be unrelenting as they can consume you. In these moments, the mind, in its vulnerability, seeks relief, sometimes, tragically in the form of an escape from the pain that seems inevitable.

Suicide, then, becomes an ominous manifestation of a soul grappling with an emotional storm, a desperate attempt to find solace in that storm because it threatens to engulf every facet of one’s self. The remaining sisters of the Lisbon family were severely isolated by their parents in fear of what might happen again. Unfortunately, the other Lisbon sisters, Lux, Bonnie, Therese, and Mary all attempt to commit suicide. Mary, in particular, attempted to kill herself by placing her head in the oven. Her attempt was much more violent compared to her sisters’ attempts at suicide because she’s the oldest sister and grieved her sisters more because she survived that attempt. In her final and succeeding attempt, she’s dressed in all black and positioned in a poised sleeping manner. The all-black contrasts the wedding dress that Cecilia wears because it could symbolize maturity compared to Cecilia’s innocence. Understanding the fragility of the human spirit in the aftermath of trauma compels everyone to approach each individual with empathy and recognize that the journey toward healing is difficult and treacherous.

The pervasive stigma surrounding suicide is a formidable barrier that not only hinders open conversations but also impedes crucial avenues for help and support. The pervasive stigma surrounding suicide is a formidable barrier that not only hinders open conversations but also impedes crucial avenues for help and support. Changing this narrative is paramount, as it is only through de-stigmatization that we can create an environment where individuals feel empowered to seek help without fear of reproach. Encouraging a culture of empathy and understanding is not just a moral imperative but a practical necessity. By dismantling the stigma, we pave the way for open discussions, awareness, and education about mental health, ultimately fostering a compassionate society where those in need are encouraged to reach out for assistance without the burden of shame. Transforming the dialogue around suicide from judgment to support is not just about saving lives; it's about cultivating a world where compassion and understanding prevail over judgment, offering hope and a lifeline to those navigating the depths of despair.

Works Cited:

Eugenides, Jeffery. Virgin Suicides: Twenty-Fifth Anniversary Edition. Picador, 2018.

Suicide Hotline (US)