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btw nothing is more terrifying than waking up in the middle of the night and realising that my whole ass arm is just hanging and flopping around like a piece of meat because i managed to lay on it the wrong way

dat very strong human body. yeah, right

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did i really need this overtime shift today

why did i do this to myself

god i’m exhausted already, i haven’t slept properly for days

i mean… of course the money is a big motivator but stilllllll whyyy

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autumnal wood

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artist: isabelle feliu

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Credit to rhymes.y

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today’s comment towards me from a classmate, that almost becoming a doctor and now working in IT is a real big setback

i know he’s right but this just about wrecked me. people pity me everywhere.

and now i have to sit here for 2 more hours trying to understand statistics and somehow force back the tears and the ugly crying

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not quite sure what to feel when i have a classmate who is younger than me, looks like a model, is married, has a young child and is currently doing med school and psychology at the same time

what am i compared to someone like that? a gigantic nobody

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why do i see myself wearing these with a black blazer and black boots

why can’t i like normal things

and actually i think i’m too shy to actually buy itttttt

what on earth would people even say

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got the quality evaluation back for october

two tickets and two calls. one of them is 89 percent, the other 3 are above 90

but the new policy is that there’s no praise and no option for them to write the positives like they used to

so basically all we got is all the negatives and things to improve in a list. and i can already feel that if this system stays then i’ll be wrecked mentally. even october feels like a disaster to me

there’s literally no positive reinforcement because it is not allowed.

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i don’t know. i’m barely a person. i just want to be kind and hold someone’s hand. eat an ice cream cone. stare at the lake. feel the sun on my skin. lay in the grass. run through a sprinkler. it’s so easy to forget life is supposed to feel like a deep breath and not a gasp

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LOVE WILL FIND YOU AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN EVEN WHEN YOU THINK IT WON'T

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god please take all of my mutuals' suffering, double it and give it to donald trump

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lou dvina & leontin lacombe

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the hated colleague gave me a feedback because i waited for a reply from a user instead of closing a ticket. (that by the way he closed and the user reopened) i hate him so much it's unreal. others are straight up idiots, completely unreliable, do not give a shit about the rules and this.. this one mistake needs to be called out like this? you know what i think i do not feel like having 110% productivity anymore.

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– Haruki Murakami, from “Charlie Parker Plays Bossa Nova,” First Person Singular: Stories (Alfred A. Knopf, 2021)